Sparky - Bored kids! As a parent and a childcare provider, I could go on and on about this topic for days. I also spend a great deal of time on the sidelines at youth sports. I feel that children need to have age appropriate opportunities to explore different activities. Ballet lessons or soccer camp at age 3 - that's just herding children so mom and dad can take a break. At very young ages children should be exploring the qualities of mud, rain, sky, and grass; testing and exceeding their limits on the swings and climbing bars; putting paint, crayons, and glue on objects and seeing what happens; filling and dumping water in cups, bowls, and pans; making truck tracks in dirt; throwing and chasing a ball; watching the way birds, bugs, and people move in their environments. And if adults give them space, they will develop positive coping mechanisms to pass the time.
I've talked extensively throughout my recovery about my detachment from the social ladder in my community. The stepford parents that you referred to upthread are in competition with each other from the time their babies are in utereo to give their children "the best" childcare and "the most enriching" extracurricular activities. As the children grow, the parents' competition turns to whose children are the best at any given activity. At the elementary school age, I see kids who play only one sport year round - if Johnny is good at baseball he plays summer ball, then fall ball, then an indoor league 45 minutes away in the winter, plus private lessons, just so he can make the A team in regular season. Plus, these kids are also in scouts, practicing an instrument, excelling academically, and behaving well.
Meanwhile, I can barely get my kids to stop hitting each other in the back seat of the car. I will admit to feeling inferior from time to time to Johnny's parents, whose focus, dedication and determination have made Johnny's performance outshine my kids', especially when they have a less than stellar performance on the field, in the classroom or on the playground.
It's not healthy to be enmeshed in another person's consequences. I can't support my children's growth after they experience a disappointment if I'm wrapped up in their shame. And my children can't learn if I don't give them opportunities to try new things or fail. In recovery I'm learning to detach, to let go of my kids' challenging or embarrassing behavior.
Have a good day!