Class of April 2014 Part 4
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Sorry to hear about your foot still hurting, but that will teach him to to bring home wine. I am proud of you too.
As for your dads birthday make sure you make a plan like thirdtime did today.
Now about losing weight I have no clue what you are talking about.
As for your dads birthday make sure you make a plan like thirdtime did today.
Now about losing weight I have no clue what you are talking about.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Freein, the louder you play, the less the notes actually matter. The same goes for singing.
It's good to see all of you doing so well, and making such good choices. I think the weekends seem to be getting easier for most of the April class. You guys rock!
I'm having some frustration with work and productivity, but other things are going well. There are definitely times I wish I just had a regular job with a boss to tell me what to do, but not too many. It would be easier now, though. I know motivation is one of the slower things to come back after getting off of opiates, but I kind of need it to come back now. It's hard to pull creativity out of thin air, though I'm giving it my best effort. It's been 26 days, so I know it's just a matter of time, but I have a show next weekend, and right now I'm rather poorly prepared for it. Fortunately I share a booth at this one, so at least I only need to fill half of it. I have 3 more production days before I have to leave town, so there's still time, just not much. I usually work way better under pressure than this. I don't want any opiates, and I'm not going to take any, but it know that if I did I'd be able to work like a machine until it's time to go. I used to be able to work that way without them, and I'm a little afraid I may have killed that ability entirely, but I'm trying not to focus too much on that.
It's good to see all of you doing so well, and making such good choices. I think the weekends seem to be getting easier for most of the April class. You guys rock!
I'm having some frustration with work and productivity, but other things are going well. There are definitely times I wish I just had a regular job with a boss to tell me what to do, but not too many. It would be easier now, though. I know motivation is one of the slower things to come back after getting off of opiates, but I kind of need it to come back now. It's hard to pull creativity out of thin air, though I'm giving it my best effort. It's been 26 days, so I know it's just a matter of time, but I have a show next weekend, and right now I'm rather poorly prepared for it. Fortunately I share a booth at this one, so at least I only need to fill half of it. I have 3 more production days before I have to leave town, so there's still time, just not much. I usually work way better under pressure than this. I don't want any opiates, and I'm not going to take any, but it know that if I did I'd be able to work like a machine until it's time to go. I used to be able to work that way without them, and I'm a little afraid I may have killed that ability entirely, but I'm trying not to focus too much on that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Kitten, when my anxiety got really bad recently doing something physical really helped to control it. Even just going for a walk around my neighborhood.
Really hot baths and saunas helped too, I would imagine that I was sweating all the anxiety and destructive thinking out of my system.
I hope you feel better.
Really hot baths and saunas helped too, I would imagine that I was sweating all the anxiety and destructive thinking out of my system.
I hope you feel better.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
Give it time Adna - there's nothing I could do then that I can't do now (and usually better) 
It took me much longer than I thought it would to get my mind and body back in working order. I really underestimated the amount of damage I did, I think.
D
It took me much longer than I thought it would to get my mind and body back in working order. I really underestimated the amount of damage I did, I think.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Give it time Adna - there's nothing I could do then that I can't do now (and usually better)
It took me much longer than I thought it would to get my mind and body back in working order. I really underestimated the amount of damage I did, I think.
D
It took me much longer than I thought it would to get my mind and body back in working order. I really underestimated the amount of damage I did, I think.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. It's good to know this place is just as awesome as when I left it.
Day 1s are always hard. I keep falling off the wagon after a few months, drinking somewhat moderately for a while, and then returning to heavy binge drinking every night. I've done this nearly a dozen times. It's got to stop. I keep relapsing based on the AV premise that I can drink socially. Lol, yeah right.
I'm going to AA tomorrow because I need help. Trying to do this without support has failed me so many times. Already looked up all of the local meetings so I know when and where I'm headed.
Thanks for everyone's posts. I'm spending this evening reading SR and watching TV with my dog. Reading about everyone's positive choices is very inspiring.
Day 1s are always hard. I keep falling off the wagon after a few months, drinking somewhat moderately for a while, and then returning to heavy binge drinking every night. I've done this nearly a dozen times. It's got to stop. I keep relapsing based on the AV premise that I can drink socially. Lol, yeah right.
I'm going to AA tomorrow because I need help. Trying to do this without support has failed me so many times. Already looked up all of the local meetings so I know when and where I'm headed.
Thanks for everyone's posts. I'm spending this evening reading SR and watching TV with my dog. Reading about everyone's positive choices is very inspiring.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
I agree airwick, Dee74 is excellent, a soothing tone of support! It's great to get to know you all through these posts. I was just thinking of a beer, then sun is out and the water is blue, day 3 is usually when the 'voice' starts up again trying to justify my behaviour and think that I'm ok again, making light of the things I've done and people who love me that i've hurt. I need to become stronger! Its great to have the April class to get some REAL perspective....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 181
Thanks, Adna. That was a very good suggestion. I dug out my kettlebell and swung it around until I couldn't anymore. Gonna be sore tomorrow but I burned off some nervous energy and I'm feeling a bit calmer now.
That voice is a tricky thing, obo. Mine is real good at sounding just like me, and sometimes it's only in what it's saying that I can tell the difference. And usually it pipes up when I don't want to tell the difference, if you know what I mean. My secret weapon is laziness, in that if it wants a drink it's got to convince me to actually go out and buy it and most of the time I'd rather stay right where I am on the couch. Not the most noble of weapons, but we work with what we've got, right?
That voice is a tricky thing, obo. Mine is real good at sounding just like me, and sometimes it's only in what it's saying that I can tell the difference. And usually it pipes up when I don't want to tell the difference, if you know what I mean. My secret weapon is laziness, in that if it wants a drink it's got to convince me to actually go out and buy it and most of the time I'd rather stay right where I am on the couch. Not the most noble of weapons, but we work with what we've got, right?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
NOOLAN: I love Bright Eyes. Some of my favorite albums and lyrics. "Hit the switch" from Digital Ash, I can relate to too much. Also I noticed your loc Omaha...Conor Oberst had a band called Desaparecidos with a song "Greater Omaha".
AREYOUKITTEN: That's cool you can kinda relate. I'm actually from a small town. Then I moved to a city, but it was only 3 hrs away from where I grew up and I had family there so it was much easier. I think that there are towns near here that the people are actually nice and more accepting.
MARIAHGALE: It's crazy you mentioned that book because I was thinking about getting it. It has really good reviews on Amazon. I don't have the courage to see a Dr so I decided I need to at least get a book. Thanks for your help.
Everyone else: thanks for welcoming me. I need to go back and catch up on the thread. I just skimmed over.
This is harder than I thought. Honesty I don't really have a plan but I'm starting with trying to make it to one month. I know that people say "one day at a time", but I tend to procrastinate and "one day" can easily be put off until tomorrow. . Still, "forever" is a scary word. So I decided to just jump in and go with one month to get things rolling. Piece of cake...not.
I wanted to drink so bad last night. Even just one or two would've been great. It got to the point that I pretty much was like "**** it, it's not a big deal, I'll have a few drinks and not drink for another week." But what I did, at dinner time, I ate way too much spaghetti squash...on purpose. I don't like to drink when I'm really full. I know that's not healthy but I'm still glad I did it. My husband was home and he's only here on the weekends every other weekend so normally I at least have a few drinks. He was drinking gin and tonic. He knows I'm not drinking so he didn't offer, but it was still tempting.
Fri night I cooked Italian and I almost always have red wine while I cook and with the meal when I make Italian. So that kinda sucked too.
I had a nightmare on Fri. I woke up (in my dream) and the screen on my phone was shattered. I wasn't sure where I was and I only remembered up until a certain point, drinking, bits and pieces, and the rest was a blackout. I was so worried about what had happened and how I got to where I was.
I thought a lot about what that meant when I woke up. It's pretty messed up that I would have a dream like that and then almost drink that night.
Well it's been over a week now. A week isn't too out of the ordinary, but I can't remember the last time I went much longer than that. My husband is gone for 5 days doing training but at that means he'll have next weekend off too. The bottle of gin is here. I kinda wish it wasn't.
AREYOUKITTEN: That's cool you can kinda relate. I'm actually from a small town. Then I moved to a city, but it was only 3 hrs away from where I grew up and I had family there so it was much easier. I think that there are towns near here that the people are actually nice and more accepting.
MARIAHGALE: It's crazy you mentioned that book because I was thinking about getting it. It has really good reviews on Amazon. I don't have the courage to see a Dr so I decided I need to at least get a book. Thanks for your help.
Everyone else: thanks for welcoming me. I need to go back and catch up on the thread. I just skimmed over.
This is harder than I thought. Honesty I don't really have a plan but I'm starting with trying to make it to one month. I know that people say "one day at a time", but I tend to procrastinate and "one day" can easily be put off until tomorrow. . Still, "forever" is a scary word. So I decided to just jump in and go with one month to get things rolling. Piece of cake...not.
I wanted to drink so bad last night. Even just one or two would've been great. It got to the point that I pretty much was like "**** it, it's not a big deal, I'll have a few drinks and not drink for another week." But what I did, at dinner time, I ate way too much spaghetti squash...on purpose. I don't like to drink when I'm really full. I know that's not healthy but I'm still glad I did it. My husband was home and he's only here on the weekends every other weekend so normally I at least have a few drinks. He was drinking gin and tonic. He knows I'm not drinking so he didn't offer, but it was still tempting.
Fri night I cooked Italian and I almost always have red wine while I cook and with the meal when I make Italian. So that kinda sucked too.
I had a nightmare on Fri. I woke up (in my dream) and the screen on my phone was shattered. I wasn't sure where I was and I only remembered up until a certain point, drinking, bits and pieces, and the rest was a blackout. I was so worried about what had happened and how I got to where I was.
I thought a lot about what that meant when I woke up. It's pretty messed up that I would have a dream like that and then almost drink that night.
Well it's been over a week now. A week isn't too out of the ordinary, but I can't remember the last time I went much longer than that. My husband is gone for 5 days doing training but at that means he'll have next weekend off too. The bottle of gin is here. I kinda wish it wasn't.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Areyoukittenme: the voice is very tricky, its hard to tell sometimes which voice is mine and which voice is trying to deceive me.
Soliloquy: I use the eating too much trick too, I dont like getting drunk on a full stomach.
Good luck to us all!
Soliloquy: I use the eating too much trick too, I dont like getting drunk on a full stomach.
Good luck to us all!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 64
Good night everyone. I am going to bed sober for the first time in a while. I even brushed my teeth. Big change from passing out drunk. I think I like it. Day 1 down and looking forward to more nights like this.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Hi everyone,
Just want to check in before work.
Reading everyone's posts makes me realise that there will be many situations which will crop up that will have a big association to alcohol. It's not just a matter of being alcohol free, it's a case of finding an alternative lens to look at many of life's situations. I'm guessing that long after sobriety, there's bound to be something that crops up which has a deep association with alcohol, which will need to be "re-framed".
Yesterday, my OH (other half) was asking about destinations for a summer holiday. This gave me some anxiety, because holidays have been centred around lots of wine for us both. I know I don't want to return to my unhealthy lifestyle, but I'm a bit worried that a holiday situation might trip me up. I don't think I'll have access to the internet for your support.
It's not until September, so I might be a bit premature with my worrying!
Adna, thanks for the musical tip, I'll play loud and proud! I hope you find a healthy way to tap in to your creativity quickly. I find that being purposefully uncreative seems to help jump start the better parts of me.
Welcome to newbies. Great to have you in the April class.
Have a peaceful sober day.
Just want to check in before work.
Reading everyone's posts makes me realise that there will be many situations which will crop up that will have a big association to alcohol. It's not just a matter of being alcohol free, it's a case of finding an alternative lens to look at many of life's situations. I'm guessing that long after sobriety, there's bound to be something that crops up which has a deep association with alcohol, which will need to be "re-framed".
Yesterday, my OH (other half) was asking about destinations for a summer holiday. This gave me some anxiety, because holidays have been centred around lots of wine for us both. I know I don't want to return to my unhealthy lifestyle, but I'm a bit worried that a holiday situation might trip me up. I don't think I'll have access to the internet for your support.
It's not until September, so I might be a bit premature with my worrying!
Adna, thanks for the musical tip, I'll play loud and proud! I hope you find a healthy way to tap in to your creativity quickly. I find that being purposefully uncreative seems to help jump start the better parts of me.
Welcome to newbies. Great to have you in the April class.
Have a peaceful sober day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 101
good morning
Morning all, bad nights sleep on day 1 due to after effects of a binge, still not great and from experience will take a few days. Probably be Weds or Thursday then sneaky thoughts of just a few wines will creep in... Yeah at least a bottle. Already my brain is telling me how awful that I can't drink at say our friends we are visiting next month etc etc whilst I know that what will happen is I would get smashed and potentially behave badly, feeling shame, guilt and fear the next day along with being too ill to enjoy the day anyway. Actually I think the sneaky thoughts are appearing much quicker nowadays, at least used to wait until I was physically better...not good.
That worry about the summer holidays without the wine......totally get that, i know what would really happen is the scenario I just described, over and over, with a wasted holiday at best and potentially a few nasty situations and a very upset husband.
Well trying to stick to the advice about not worrying about future events, concentrating on getting a few jobs done and starting a bit of exercise today. Not going to drink today. Good luck to everyone, lots of people doing so well. Great to see and inspiring.
That worry about the summer holidays without the wine......totally get that, i know what would really happen is the scenario I just described, over and over, with a wasted holiday at best and potentially a few nasty situations and a very upset husband.
Well trying to stick to the advice about not worrying about future events, concentrating on getting a few jobs done and starting a bit of exercise today. Not going to drink today. Good luck to everyone, lots of people doing so well. Great to see and inspiring.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Alright chickchick, ...if you call Obo, .. ( our April Class Oboe playing SOB )
"osobob" one more time , ...there's gonna be trouble, ; ...with a capital T,
..... in River City.
I been framed Obo !!
Izzy , Mariah , y'all go back and look ( post # 150 ) & ( #181, while your at it ) !! I swear I thought I was losin' my mind !!
"osobob" one more time , ...there's gonna be trouble, ; ...with a capital T,
..... in River City.
I been framed Obo !!
Izzy , Mariah , y'all go back and look ( post # 150 ) & ( #181, while your at it ) !! I swear I thought I was losin' my mind !!
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