NOOLAN: I love Bright Eyes. Some of my favorite albums and lyrics. "Hit the switch" from Digital Ash, I can relate to too much. Also I noticed your loc Omaha...Conor Oberst had a band called Desaparecidos with a song "Greater Omaha".
AREYOUKITTEN: That's cool you can kinda relate. I'm actually from a small town. Then I moved to a city, but it was only 3 hrs away from where I grew up and I had family there so it was much easier. I think that there are towns near here that the people are actually nice and more accepting.
MARIAHGALE: It's crazy you mentioned that book because I was thinking about getting it. It has really good reviews on Amazon. I don't have the courage to see a Dr so I decided I need to at least get a book. Thanks for your help.
Everyone else: thanks for welcoming me. I need to go back and catch up on the thread. I just skimmed over.
This is harder than I thought. Honesty I don't really have a plan but I'm starting with trying to make it to one month. I know that people say "one day at a time", but I tend to procrastinate and "one day" can easily be put off until tomorrow. . Still, "forever" is a scary word. So I decided to just jump in and go with one month to get things rolling. Piece of cake...not.
I wanted to drink so bad last night. Even just one or two would've been great. It got to the point that I pretty much was like "**** it, it's not a big deal, I'll have a few drinks and not drink for another week." But what I did, at dinner time, I ate way too much spaghetti squash...on purpose. I don't like to drink when I'm really full. I know that's not healthy but I'm still glad I did it. My husband was home and he's only here on the weekends every other weekend so normally I at least have a few drinks. He was drinking gin and tonic. He knows I'm not drinking so he didn't offer, but it was still tempting.
Fri night I cooked Italian and I almost always have red wine while I cook and with the meal when I make Italian. So that kinda sucked too.
I had a nightmare on Fri. I woke up (in my dream) and the screen on my phone was shattered. I wasn't sure where I was and I only remembered up until a certain point, drinking, bits and pieces, and the rest was a blackout. I was so worried about what had happened and how I got to where I was.
I thought a lot about what that meant when I woke up. It's pretty messed up that I would have a dream like that and then almost drink that night.
Well it's been over a week now. A week isn't too out of the ordinary, but I can't remember the last time I went much longer than that. My husband is gone for 5 days doing training but at that means he'll have next weekend off too. The bottle of gin is here. I kinda wish it wasn't.