Class Of February 2014 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Originally Posted by Randummy 
Thanks for your support. So far Ive been getting up and out of bed as soon as I get restless. Then just continuing my knitting or sewing till I get really tired. It seems to be working but I'm a very clumsy person so trying not to wake up my partner is the most difficult, ha!
Hope you're all good
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Originally Posted by Lily123
why do you feel you need courage to make an appt Lonely Shadow ? I know I'm struggling with the idea of admitting to a physician that I have a problem. I keep replaying ideas of how I think the conversion is going to go. Every time I think about it I get numb with anxiety. Good luck to you! My plan was to call today. We shall see...
Randummy
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 131
Originally Posted by dax501
I'm trying to teach myself knitting so I have something to do when my mind gets going. Last night I threw my ball of yarn across the room in frustration, my partner said "you know, knitting is supposed to be relaxing". I told him to shove it. But I will persevere!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: NY
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by Randummy
Haha every knitter has been there! My Nan taught me when I was very young and I remember her telling my grandad that if he didn't stop interfering in my learning she would poke him with the needle! I like making lots of patches, maybe 35 cast on then knit about 60 rows. I've got loads in different yarns now to make a blanket
Randummy
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 131
Originally Posted by dax501
I'm jealous! I *think* I got casting on down. But I cannot take that next step to the actual knitting. Doesn't help I'm left handed and all the tutorials look backwards to me. Surprisingly in the Podunk town I live in there's a knitting shop that teaches, so I'm calling them tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 174
Addictions vs. Habits
Hello Everyone,
While I'm saddened to see the number of people tripped up this month, I thought about it all day while at work. I think everyone here needs to remind themselves, including myself, that alcoholism is an addiction vs. habit. You might ask, what do I mean?
Well, when one sets out to create/kick a habit, it's normally small things in the beginning such as, eating a piece of fruit each day, walking/jogging around the block once a day, cut back on Coca Cola's or those darn Oreo's you guys keep talking about. I'm staying as far away as I can from that demon.
Whatever it be that we are trying to create/kick in our day-to-day lives, goes pretty much un-noticed if a day is skipped. But, with an addiction, like cigarettes or alcohol, we don't have the liberty to slip with just one drink, one night, one weekend, or one celebration. It takes approximately 90 seconds for the alcohol to hit our brains once it touches our lips. Once this happens, the brain starts firing on numerous cylinders and tricking us. This is not very easy to shut down after one drink, one night, one weekend, or one celebration. Our brains are amazing organs, but once we fuel the brain with alcohol or nicotine, it's like a V-8 engine, never can put enough gas into it, it wants you to put so much fuel (alcohol/nicotine) into it, that it won't stop until it chokes itself.
It's been said for many years if not 50+yrs or more, that it takes 21-days to create/kick a habit. This is "typically" for establishing an exercise routine, dietary program, cutting back on t.v., Coca Colas, etc. Not demeaning these types of habits in anyway, but compared to alcoholism/nicotine, these habits are child's play.
I hope everyone researches habits vs addictions and see what the "experts" say about the two and how different they really are. Habits are definitely easier to create/kick than a habit which turned into an addiction over time. Take me for example, I got on those darn Honey Nut Cheerios, right before bed because for a few weeks, I was hungry by the time I went to bed and would toss and turn for 1+ hrs because I was thinking about food. I kicked that demon which would have became a habit and eventually an addiction that my brain/body created over time. Similar, to those darn Oreos
Now with alcohol, 19+yrs ago, it was done for pleasure/social interaction. Then became a 6-pk habit every Friday/Saturday night, then a 12-pk habit 3-4nights a week, then a 12-pk+ 7 day a week ADDICTION!!!!!! Do I make any sense on how a habit can slowly over time develop into an addiction. The longer it goes on the harder it is to beat and the easier it is to slip up.
I found this today at work and emailed it to myself, because I knew I'd be writing this post tonight. I believe it's appropriate for us in our battle to beat our addictions and would be beneficial for many here to kick their addiction.
Seven Steps to Developing a New Habit
First, make a decision:Decide clearly that you are going to begin acting in a specific way 100% of the time, whenever that that behavior is required. For example, if you decide to arise early and exercise each morning, set your clock for a specific time, and when the alarm goes off, immediately get up, put on your exercise clothes and begin your exercise session.
Second, never allow an exception to your new habit pattern during the formative stages. Don’t make excuses or rationalizations. Don’t let yourself off the hook. If you resolve to get up at 6:00 AM each morning, discipline yourself to get up at 6:00 AM, every single morning until this becomes automatic.
Third, tell others that you are going to begin practicing a particular behavior. It is amazing how much more disciplined and determined you will become when you know that others are watching you to see if you have the willpower to follow through on your resolution.
Fourth, visualize yourself performing or behaving in a particular way in a particular situation. The more often you visualize and imagine yourself acting as if you already had the new habit, the more rapidly this new behavior will be accepted by your subconscious mind and become automatic.
Fifth, create an affirmation that you repeat over and over to yourself. This repetition dramatically increases the speed at which you develop the new habit. For example, you can say something like; “I get up and get going immediately at 6:00 AM each morning!” Repeat these words the last thing before you fall asleep. In most cases, you will automatically wake up minutes before the alarm clock goes off, and soon you will need no alarm clock at all.
Sixth, resolve to persist in the new behavior until it is so automatic and easy that you actually feel uncomfortable when you do not do what you have decided to do.
Seventh, and most important, give yourself a reward of some kind for practicing in the new behavior. Each time you reward yourself, you reaffirm and reinforce the behavior. Soon you begin to associate, at an unconscious level, the pleasure of the reward with the behavior. You set up your own force field of positive consequences that you unconsciously look forward to as the result of engaging in the behavior or habit that you have decided upon.
Seven Steps to Developing a New Habit
Finally, if anyone wants to chat privately, I'm more than open to exchanging PMs. I live in Northern England and we are 5-hrs ahead of EST. I'm up everyday by 5am and go to bed by 9-10pm every night (GMT).
A few of you may recall reading my original posts when I bought my coffee cup and coin. Let me tell you, it's amazing drinking from that cup every morning, just saying : 0...Also, the coin is always in my pocket unless I'm in bed. It has a distinct jingle, that only I and my wife know. Whether I'm hanging with friends at the base club/bar (drinking water), out a restaurant, in my office, or rushing off to a meeting, I hear the glorious sounds of the "jingle", and it changes my mood instantly and reminds me of what's truly important that day, every chance it gets. Here's what it looks like.
front.jpg
My affirmation is my coffee cup and coin, and my 3-wk sobriety was dinner out last night with the family and friends. Thinking about all of you. While I can't respond to everyone, actually the class has grown tremendously. I don't see some of the originals lately, but we have a lot of new members the last few weeks. Welcome to all of you. For your information, the "Thanks" option we have on our SR posts, I typically use that feature when I like what someone said, agreed with something, or merely thinking "Bravo" or I'm sorry. Especially, when I'm at work on a break, it's so hard to type on an I-phone keyboard : 0.
While I'm saddened to see the number of people tripped up this month, I thought about it all day while at work. I think everyone here needs to remind themselves, including myself, that alcoholism is an addiction vs. habit. You might ask, what do I mean?
Well, when one sets out to create/kick a habit, it's normally small things in the beginning such as, eating a piece of fruit each day, walking/jogging around the block once a day, cut back on Coca Cola's or those darn Oreo's you guys keep talking about. I'm staying as far away as I can from that demon.
Whatever it be that we are trying to create/kick in our day-to-day lives, goes pretty much un-noticed if a day is skipped. But, with an addiction, like cigarettes or alcohol, we don't have the liberty to slip with just one drink, one night, one weekend, or one celebration. It takes approximately 90 seconds for the alcohol to hit our brains once it touches our lips. Once this happens, the brain starts firing on numerous cylinders and tricking us. This is not very easy to shut down after one drink, one night, one weekend, or one celebration. Our brains are amazing organs, but once we fuel the brain with alcohol or nicotine, it's like a V-8 engine, never can put enough gas into it, it wants you to put so much fuel (alcohol/nicotine) into it, that it won't stop until it chokes itself.
It's been said for many years if not 50+yrs or more, that it takes 21-days to create/kick a habit. This is "typically" for establishing an exercise routine, dietary program, cutting back on t.v., Coca Colas, etc. Not demeaning these types of habits in anyway, but compared to alcoholism/nicotine, these habits are child's play.
I hope everyone researches habits vs addictions and see what the "experts" say about the two and how different they really are. Habits are definitely easier to create/kick than a habit which turned into an addiction over time. Take me for example, I got on those darn Honey Nut Cheerios, right before bed because for a few weeks, I was hungry by the time I went to bed and would toss and turn for 1+ hrs because I was thinking about food. I kicked that demon which would have became a habit and eventually an addiction that my brain/body created over time. Similar, to those darn Oreos
Now with alcohol, 19+yrs ago, it was done for pleasure/social interaction. Then became a 6-pk habit every Friday/Saturday night, then a 12-pk habit 3-4nights a week, then a 12-pk+ 7 day a week ADDICTION!!!!!! Do I make any sense on how a habit can slowly over time develop into an addiction. The longer it goes on the harder it is to beat and the easier it is to slip up.
I found this today at work and emailed it to myself, because I knew I'd be writing this post tonight. I believe it's appropriate for us in our battle to beat our addictions and would be beneficial for many here to kick their addiction.
Seven Steps to Developing a New Habit
First, make a decision:Decide clearly that you are going to begin acting in a specific way 100% of the time, whenever that that behavior is required. For example, if you decide to arise early and exercise each morning, set your clock for a specific time, and when the alarm goes off, immediately get up, put on your exercise clothes and begin your exercise session.
Second, never allow an exception to your new habit pattern during the formative stages. Don’t make excuses or rationalizations. Don’t let yourself off the hook. If you resolve to get up at 6:00 AM each morning, discipline yourself to get up at 6:00 AM, every single morning until this becomes automatic.
Third, tell others that you are going to begin practicing a particular behavior. It is amazing how much more disciplined and determined you will become when you know that others are watching you to see if you have the willpower to follow through on your resolution.
Fourth, visualize yourself performing or behaving in a particular way in a particular situation. The more often you visualize and imagine yourself acting as if you already had the new habit, the more rapidly this new behavior will be accepted by your subconscious mind and become automatic.
Fifth, create an affirmation that you repeat over and over to yourself. This repetition dramatically increases the speed at which you develop the new habit. For example, you can say something like; “I get up and get going immediately at 6:00 AM each morning!” Repeat these words the last thing before you fall asleep. In most cases, you will automatically wake up minutes before the alarm clock goes off, and soon you will need no alarm clock at all.
Sixth, resolve to persist in the new behavior until it is so automatic and easy that you actually feel uncomfortable when you do not do what you have decided to do.
Seventh, and most important, give yourself a reward of some kind for practicing in the new behavior. Each time you reward yourself, you reaffirm and reinforce the behavior. Soon you begin to associate, at an unconscious level, the pleasure of the reward with the behavior. You set up your own force field of positive consequences that you unconsciously look forward to as the result of engaging in the behavior or habit that you have decided upon.
Seven Steps to Developing a New Habit
Finally, if anyone wants to chat privately, I'm more than open to exchanging PMs. I live in Northern England and we are 5-hrs ahead of EST. I'm up everyday by 5am and go to bed by 9-10pm every night (GMT).
A few of you may recall reading my original posts when I bought my coffee cup and coin. Let me tell you, it's amazing drinking from that cup every morning, just saying : 0...Also, the coin is always in my pocket unless I'm in bed. It has a distinct jingle, that only I and my wife know. Whether I'm hanging with friends at the base club/bar (drinking water), out a restaurant, in my office, or rushing off to a meeting, I hear the glorious sounds of the "jingle", and it changes my mood instantly and reminds me of what's truly important that day, every chance it gets. Here's what it looks like.
front.jpg
My affirmation is my coffee cup and coin, and my 3-wk sobriety was dinner out last night with the family and friends. Thinking about all of you. While I can't respond to everyone, actually the class has grown tremendously. I don't see some of the originals lately, but we have a lot of new members the last few weeks. Welcome to all of you. For your information, the "Thanks" option we have on our SR posts, I typically use that feature when I like what someone said, agreed with something, or merely thinking "Bravo" or I'm sorry. Especially, when I'm at work on a break, it's so hard to type on an I-phone keyboard : 0.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by dax501
I'm jealous! I *think* I got casting on down. But I cannot take that next step to the actual knitting. Doesn't help I'm left handed and all the tutorials look backwards to me. Surprisingly in the Podunk town I live in there's a knitting shop that teaches, so I'm calling them tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by newme2day
Good Monday morning everyone!! I haven't posted in awhile but am doing well on day 20. I have been reading through some of the weekend posts. I can very much relate to the ones who slipped this weekend. I think we all can. The important thing is you are right back on the sobriety train. We can do this.
Early
for 3-wks tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,886
Originally Posted by LonelyShadow
End up overthinking so many things in my head, making myself miserable haha
Hope you're all good
Hope you're all good
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by dax501
Day 7. Holy moly.
Woke up with a raging headache and in my half-asleep state thought I was hungover. Then I remembered that wasn't a possibility
. I just stayed up waaaaay too late ha!
Today I'm going to work on my plan for how to handle temptation when I go out alone later. I feel ok about avoiding the liquor store now, but I know how all that can change in an instant.
Briggsy - that "Seconds to Disaster" really made me think. As much as we always say "I don't know what happened" when things go wrong, it can usually be traced back. Those little things that we don't notice are triggering us build and build until disaster strikes. Makes me want to be extra vigilant of addressing every little trigger. Especially those HALT ones. Thanks for that.
GEAH - you'll be in my thoughts today
To all the newcomers that I keep forgetting to welcome (my memory is shot, big shocker)
To all the regulars - keep your shields up and have a great day!
Woke up with a raging headache and in my half-asleep state thought I was hungover. Then I remembered that wasn't a possibility
. I just stayed up waaaaay too late ha!Today I'm going to work on my plan for how to handle temptation when I go out alone later. I feel ok about avoiding the liquor store now, but I know how all that can change in an instant.
Briggsy - that "Seconds to Disaster" really made me think. As much as we always say "I don't know what happened" when things go wrong, it can usually be traced back. Those little things that we don't notice are triggering us build and build until disaster strikes. Makes me want to be extra vigilant of addressing every little trigger. Especially those HALT ones. Thanks for that.
GEAH - you'll be in my thoughts today
To all the newcomers that I keep forgetting to welcome (my memory is shot, big shocker)
To all the regulars - keep your shields up and have a great day!
Agree, most bad decisions we make in life can be traced back, if we are honest with ourselves. We need to learn how change our paths before we're hanging over the edge of cliff with only a half-torn seatbelt holding us in the car! When I first started my sobriety, I was clumsy in the morning/late evening, as if I'd been drinking. Wife and I had some good laughs, let me tell ya. After the first week, my short temper and nerves subsided. It was about this time I got back into a lot of reading/researching (internet/YouTube, etc). I figured the more I could learn about what others had been through when they were at my number of days and the days ahead, the better I'd be prepared when experience things which seem to be more normal than many of us think. Then I read somewhere about planning for upcoming triggers (big one for me is my pending retirement) and then the unknown triggers brought about by daily drama such a lot of stuff on Facebook, neighbor issues, family issues, work issues, etc. Amazingly, my memory is firing on all cylinders since day 7-10. My wife on the other hand, who's focused on her pound day weight loss challenge, seems to be a space cadet as of late
. When I was drinking everyday, I'd put off the smallest things until tomorrow, next week, and sometimes never got to them. Lately, I've been knocking the honey-do lists out with rapid speed (guess I'm more stable, focused and clear-headed now, and of course, I have a lot more time on my hands).
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: NY
Posts: 95
@briggsy - I am a natural born procrastinator and introvert. Add alcohol into that and I never accomplished anything. This past week I've made a ton of calls that I'd been putting off, renegotiated my cell contract, paid all my bills, signed up for yoga classes and looked into a knitting class (so I can get out of the house!). And let me tell ya, my house has never been cleaner. A lot of it is just to stay busy, but most of it is my brain can actually function.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
I can't turn my brain off either; all those thoughts playing over and over again. Hope you have a good nights sleep soon. A cup of very warm milk (with a touch of cocoa) at bedtime seems to help now and then.
They're easing off though, normality is returning, thanks for the tip about warm milk i'll try it tonight!
Hope you're well
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Originally Posted by dax501
@briggsy - I am a natural born procrastinator and introvert. Add alcohol into that and I never accomplished anything. This past week I've made a ton of calls that I'd been putting off, renegotiated my cell contract, paid all my bills, signed up for yoga classes and looked into a knitting class (so I can get out of the house!). And let me tell ya, my house has never been cleaner. A lot of it is just to stay busy, but most of it is my brain can actually function.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by dax501
@briggsy - I am a natural born procrastinator and introvert. Add alcohol into that and I never accomplished anything. This past week I've made a ton of calls that I'd been putting off, renegotiated my cell contract, paid all my bills, signed up for yoga classes and looked into a knitting class (so I can get out of the house!). And let me tell ya, my house has never been cleaner. A lot of it is just to stay busy, but most of it is my brain can actually function.
a procrastinator, because I was busy performing 12-oz curls when not at work.
Funny thing, to pass some time during both the weekdays and weekends, I picked up a lot of slack around the house and live in the kitchen it seems.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
I drank four beers Saturday night. Then 4 more Sunday afternoon. Stopped until 7 pm and then 4 more. There is no one to blame but myself, but I know that this situation with my ex is what led me to it. I have been feeling so low, helpless, and frustrated over the situation- I felt like the old me, the drinking hysterical me, even though I was sober. There is no excuse, I just said "screw it". I am so sad today and my thoughts are clouded.
All I can do is hop right back into sobriety and never give up. I know my reaction to this person is so unhealthy and I can't believe I allowed myself to get to this point again and then make matters worse by drinking.
I just had to get it out there and hold myself accountable. I won't drink tonight.
All I can do is hop right back into sobriety and never give up. I know my reaction to this person is so unhealthy and I can't believe I allowed myself to get to this point again and then make matters worse by drinking.
I just had to get it out there and hold myself accountable. I won't drink tonight.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 625
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
I drank four beers Saturday night. Then 4 more Sunday afternoon. Stopped until 7 pm and then 4 more. There is no one to blame but myself, but I know that this situation with my ex is what led me to it. I have been feeling so low, helpless, and frustrated over the situation- I felt like the old me, the drinking hysterical me, even though I was sober. There is no excuse, I just said "screw it". I am so sad today and my thoughts are clouded. All I can do is hop right back into sobriety and never give up. I know my reaction to this person is so unhealthy and I can't believe I allowed myself to get to this point again and then make matters worse by drinking. I just had to get it out there and hold myself accountable. I won't drink tonight.
Good luck this time around. I am revisiting day 3 today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by gleefan
Briggsy, thank you.
I was so (expletive) angry the morning after. Angry that I failed myself, my family and my February class. The first thing I wanted to do was reach out to you and everyone else in our class for support. Your thoughtful response, and the others', mean a lot.
I know I've said I'm not religious for political reasons. I'm not, but I was raised Roman Catholic and went to Catholic school, so those values are a part of who I am. Over the course of the day yesterday while thinking through my slip up, and reading everyone's responses, I had a spiritual awakening - maybe that's too dramatic, maybe it was more like a soft tap on the shoulder: Life is a blessing. I don't want to waste another second of it drunk or hungover. This led to more expansive thoughts as the day went on: Why am I still alive? Why do I get another chance at getting this life right? Then I wondered, what should showing my gratefulness look like?
I was so (expletive) angry the morning after. Angry that I failed myself, my family and my February class. The first thing I wanted to do was reach out to you and everyone else in our class for support. Your thoughtful response, and the others', mean a lot.
I know I've said I'm not religious for political reasons. I'm not, but I was raised Roman Catholic and went to Catholic school, so those values are a part of who I am. Over the course of the day yesterday while thinking through my slip up, and reading everyone's responses, I had a spiritual awakening - maybe that's too dramatic, maybe it was more like a soft tap on the shoulder: Life is a blessing. I don't want to waste another second of it drunk or hungover. This led to more expansive thoughts as the day went on: Why am I still alive? Why do I get another chance at getting this life right? Then I wondered, what should showing my gratefulness look like?
I can relate. But maybe, this past weekend you really needed a soft "tap" upside the back of your head? As to why you may be here, do any of us really know. I know some seemed to be predetermined to be writers, athletes, politicians (Crooks, : 0), etc., but what's the average person to think is their reason for being or surviving certain life events? Even myself, as a young child I wasn't gung ho for the military, but because I didn't want to put the time into college, my dad convinced me that the military would be the next best thing. Here I am nearing retirement, this year or next. Why am I here, who knows. How did any of us get here, is there life outside of earth? Who knows, I am adamant not to dwell on these types of subjects, as I'm not convinced the answers can/will be found.
Cheer up, move forward, learn, and get those days adding up again. Hopefully, when I'm on day 44, you'll be on day 22! I think that's right. Getting tired here, 730pm.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: NY
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by forabetterlife
I drank four beers Saturday night. Then 4 more Sunday afternoon. Stopped until 7 pm and then 4 more. There is no one to blame but myself, but I know that this situation with my ex is what led me to it. I have been feeling so low, helpless, and frustrated over the situation- I felt like the old me, the drinking hysterical me, even though I was sober. There is no excuse, I just said "screw it". I am so sad today and my thoughts are clouded.
All I can do is hop right back into sobriety and never give up. I know my reaction to this person is so unhealthy and I can't believe I allowed myself to get to this point again and then make matters worse by drinking.
I just had to get it out there and hold myself accountable. I won't drink tonight.
All I can do is hop right back into sobriety and never give up. I know my reaction to this person is so unhealthy and I can't believe I allowed myself to get to this point again and then make matters worse by drinking.
I just had to get it out there and hold myself accountable. I won't drink tonight.
Do you have a plan for the rest of the day to help you stay sober?
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