Class Of February 2014 Part 3
 

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-21.html

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The same way we all did - incrementally :)

The good news is the way out is not as long as the way in...OP sounds like a good start - at least worthy of a go?

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In. My first post in a thread of this sort was final one in the last part. Lost to internet obscurity!!

Wow, we really are a busy thread!

Had some bad memories awakened from my past. No anxiety, just kind of flat.

I'm starting to realize that I never dealt with these issues because right around the time these bad memories occurred I was already heavily drinking. Im kind of scared to deal with it as I cannot endure any more pain from it. So, Im feeling kind of flat.. like a defense mechanism or something to that effect.

Just can't go there.. Im just not ready yet. I'd rather just observe it from afar analytically and not involve myself too much in them.

Heh, Im probably not making any sense.. Just had to kind of get my thoughts out. Thanks for listening/reading. :)

I read your post and welcome. :ring

I totally get this. :hug:

Welcome WB. That was really bad luck how you crossed 2 threads. Glad to see you here.

Just bad timing Wboarder. Welcome to the thread :)
The last part is still there and readable and always will be - use the link from the first part in this thread.

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I also read your thread from the last part.

Glad you made it home and realized, things have to change.

You've taken the first of many steps WB, congratulations. Basically, in this class we range from (1) to (21) days sober and everything in between.

Welcome!

Not lost at all! I've been a part of many different Internet forums for various things, and I think I can honestly say *most* people here actually READ every post. I know I do, it's my lifeline when I'm feeling like throwing in the proverbial towel. So welcome and good job on waking up sober :)

@GEAH..."I'm scared. How did I get to this point."

What are you afraid of?

I read it too :)

Today is Day 7 for me. My husband stopped at the store on the way home from work, and he brought me back a bottle of wine. I have not had a discussion with him about my quitting drinking, I'm hoping to just let my actions (or inactions) speak for themselves.

I am happy to say, I am not fearful of that wine, and I know I will not drink it. But do you think I am wrong in not having a conversation with him?

By the way, Happy Friday, all!!

I'm not sure it's right or wrong, but having that discussion will stop any more bottles of wine :)

I couldn't imagine doing something lifechanging and not telling my wife, but everyone's different :)

what are you going to do with the bottle?

It is put away in the cabinet where we typically keep/kept alcohol. I expect that my husband will drink it at some point or another, once he notices it's still around several days from now.

Or you could give it away to a friend or neighbor? Better not to have it in the house.

Great idea! Hmm...if my husband doesn't drink it over the weekend, I will bring it to my friend when I see her on Monday. You're right--just because I'm feeling strong right now doesn't mean I might have a moment of weakness in the near future.

I second the good idea. My partner actually has liquor and beer in the house, but it's stuff that I just can't stomach taste-wise. He did have an extensive bar but I drank everything I could find palatable a long time ago, then I moved onto buying my own secret stash of the kind I liked. There are certain liquors I can't have around, but the rest I don't give a passing thought. Weird I know.

Welcome WB, you are in the right place;)

Kleigh, I don’t really tell anyone about my quitting drinking, but if I had a husband, I would think it would be necessary, just to be sure you are on the same page. I’m not sure I could be very strong if someone brought home a bottle of wine for me on a Friday night. Way too tempting. Good for you, but I’d get rid of it ASAP.

Back to the part 2 thread…Ladybug, my reasons are similar to yours. Sober sleep and waking up clean and fresh are one of the biggest motivators to not drink. I think we are close in age (I’m 43) and maybe it has something to do with that. I don’t remember valuing sleep this much even 5 or 10 years ago.

I didn’t exercise today and believe it or not, it is only the third day this month that I missed it. Yet, I still feel guilty. I worry a little bit that in my quest to stay sober, I become a little OCD. I’m so afraid that if one little thing is off or I slack on something that I feel is part of my sobriety, I start to think it’s the beginning of the end, which leads to anxiety, which we all know can lead to drinking. I have to learn to take it easy on myself.

Tomorrow will be day 20 for me. So grateful to have come this far again, but I know there’s a long road ahead of me still. Looking forward to the day when I don’t miss drinking and it’s not a daily thought and a daily effort to not drink.
Looking forward to getting through this weekend sober with all of you :)

Day 6. Its funny how i spend most of the day reading SR posts. I feel better knowing that I am not alone. Logically i knew I wasnt but in my heart i felt i was lost and alone (sorry if that sounds cheesey). There have been cravings today but my new found determination is winning. I am focused on making it 24hrs at a time. This is the last time I want to be here at the begining. My body and mind cant take anymore alcohol.

Looking back at the times when I was at my worst, I wasnt even drinking I was forcing the alcohol down. Sometimes I would look in the mirror and watch as I forced myself to drink. I had absolutely no control and I wanted to die. I am lucky I didnt kill myself or someone else. I was humiliating myself and I didnt care. That was a very dark/sad/awful place.

It took several hospitalizations, detoxes, rehabs to finally get it. Even then it took a little bit longer to finally commit.

Im writing this so that if I have any doubts about not drinking I can see it and read it in black and white that I was a huge mess and I dont want to go back.

Where Im at now is not great but it is a million times better from where I was.