Class of September 2013 - Part 14
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by FishnHippy 
Killa Cam and the Panthers are on FIRE this season, Fishy!! Glad you were able to enjoy the game in a sober way!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,590
But when I do find myself looking at the big picture, I don't see me making it the rest of my life without drinking. I think that is a big part of my slips.
Forever was a ridiculous concept to me - but I committed to the one day at a time thing, gradually I changed (I still thought alcoholically for quite a long while after I quit) and forever ceased to be a scary or ridiculous notion
stick with UI...you will change if you can stay true to your commitment to be sober.
congrats on the job melina - and congrats lommey for staying strong and Clemence for 50 days
D
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Thanks Tallia, il be 33, where did the years go? Hopefully long sober years ahead!
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Tallia
I have been thinking of starting that on Monday i just want to lose half a stone or so I just don't know if i can cope with all that protein I do love Bacon though
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Fireworks just started up here too, my birthdays on bonfire night looks like they've started early.
Also, HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY, 1STEP!! ENJOY!!
6P.S. I strongly suggest making going to a meeting (or FIVE
) a priority in the next few days for added support!! Celebrations, particularly birthdays can be really triggering, and you have TWO- ON THE SAME DAY! I have faith that you'll get through this week without drinking. You will be grateful for and learn a lot from the experience when it's over!If you do happen to slip, you're HUMAN. IF it happens, try and be grateful for/learn from that experience as well!!
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Uninvited
Geesh I got way too many triggers. Apparently changing the clocks is a trigger too. Maybe it's all this early darkness that's so depressing.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Originally Posted by Br00ksie
Don't underestimate my ability to asses a bucket, UI!
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Uninvited
I DVRd this and just watched it. "She who shall not be named" really did the best job on the entire show. Too bad she wasn't full time on there.
There was actually a sketch that didn't make it onto the show where she was in Lorne Michaels' office (SNL executive producer) brainstorming sketch ideas and he tried to get her to sign a cast member contract!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Originally Posted by Uninvited
Geesh I got way too many triggers. Apparently changing the clocks is a trigger too. Maybe it's all this early darkness that's so depressing.
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Today is the first time in almost 3 weeks that I had TIME and didn't want to go to a meeting. The meeting is 4 blocks from my house and at 7PM, so I really have no excuse! I have not gone to meetings for the past two days, but worked insane and long hours that made going very difficult.
I've been relaxing all day (even took a bath!) because this week was really physical and hard on my body (being an assistant involves a great deal of walking/carrying heavy things. I walked at least 3 miles/day this week, the whole time carrying sh*t) and I have been in pain ALL day!
I'm definitely NOT 25 anymore!!
Usually when I don't feel like going to a meeting it's because my hair isn't done or I don't feel like getting dressed or BOTH, so I got dressed and walked to the store, just to make sure THAT wasn't the reason, and also to make sure I wasn't using my pain as an excuse. When I got home I also called my sponsor to talk it out.
After returning home and talking to her, I still didn't feel like going!! My leg and arm started aching again as soon as I walked in the door. I have since resumed my stationary position stretched out on my couch and glued to my heating pad. Today/tonight has truly been about self-care!
Ah well. NOT going to the meeting and I DON'T feel guilty about it!! I understand however, that meetings are ALSO an important part of my self-care, and will resume my daily meeting attendance tomorrow!
Just sharing thoughts.
I've been relaxing all day (even took a bath!) because this week was really physical and hard on my body (being an assistant involves a great deal of walking/carrying heavy things. I walked at least 3 miles/day this week, the whole time carrying sh*t) and I have been in pain ALL day!
I'm definitely NOT 25 anymore!!
Usually when I don't feel like going to a meeting it's because my hair isn't done or I don't feel like getting dressed or BOTH, so I got dressed and walked to the store, just to make sure THAT wasn't the reason, and also to make sure I wasn't using my pain as an excuse. When I got home I also called my sponsor to talk it out.
After returning home and talking to her, I still didn't feel like going!! My leg and arm started aching again as soon as I walked in the door. I have since resumed my stationary position stretched out on my couch and glued to my heating pad. Today/tonight has truly been about self-care!
Ah well. NOT going to the meeting and I DON'T feel guilty about it!! I understand however, that meetings are ALSO an important part of my self-care, and will resume my daily meeting attendance tomorrow!
Just sharing thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,050
Good morning all. Slept in for the first time in ages as I've finished up and there is a public holiday tomorrow so the city has a festive atmosphere. I had dinner with friends of my partner from overseas. I don't particularly like them and usually would numb myself with the drink to get through the night. Funny how sobriety works. I was much more tolerant and actually enjoyed some of the conversation. I am glad for my program. At the dinner, I chose the wine and most of the people drank. It didn't bother me. I sat back during the evening and observed the wine and then scanned the restaurant noting other tables and alcohol. To me it remains interesting how normal people can seemingly be oblivious to alcohol. I don't feel wistful or resentful about that, it's simply an observation for me.
UI: I believe the old cliche applies to you, ie, you need to want sobriety more than you want alcohol. It seems like you're not convinced of the benefits of sobriety. However, I am heartened that you are going to an AA meeting. Try to connect with them as a support system is critical.
Renarde: I hope that your illness is nothing serious. I am mindful of the incident that occurred recently with a patient. My fingers are crossed.
Br00ksie: bad girl, your HP will punish you ! Hahaha...you know that AA meetings are online too rest up ms celeb !
Have a safe and sober day/night ! Thanks to all
UI: I believe the old cliche applies to you, ie, you need to want sobriety more than you want alcohol. It seems like you're not convinced of the benefits of sobriety. However, I am heartened that you are going to an AA meeting. Try to connect with them as a support system is critical.
Renarde: I hope that your illness is nothing serious. I am mindful of the incident that occurred recently with a patient. My fingers are crossed.
Br00ksie: bad girl, your HP will punish you ! Hahaha...you know that AA meetings are online too
rest up ms celeb !Have a safe and sober day/night ! Thanks to all
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 579
Hey, everybody. Just a quick hello after catching up with today's posts.
Lommey, I'm sorry about your h staying out/away. I feel your suspicions may be justified. Just keep that attitude that he will not drive you back into drinking!
Fish, nice job catching fish and also enjoying the game. A belated congrats on the raise--what a nice reinforcement that you are on the right path.
Melina, have a great first day of work tomorrow. Enjoy setting up your own kitchen--how exciting!
I know I'm not even scratching the surface of addressing everybody's posts, but I'm going to join Brooksie and Kaneda and retreat into a little self-care, too. Tired from working the weekend, but at least no cravings to deal with.
Take care, all, and stay close.
Lommey, I'm sorry about your h staying out/away. I feel your suspicions may be justified. Just keep that attitude that he will not drive you back into drinking!
Fish, nice job catching fish and also enjoying the game. A belated congrats on the raise--what a nice reinforcement that you are on the right path.
Melina, have a great first day of work tomorrow. Enjoy setting up your own kitchen--how exciting!
I know I'm not even scratching the surface of addressing everybody's posts, but I'm going to join Brooksie and Kaneda and retreat into a little self-care, too. Tired from working the weekend, but at least no cravings to deal with.
Take care, all, and stay close.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Hey everybody. I haven't logged in in over a week I think...
I saw your messages on my page, thank you so much for thinking of me.
I have been very busy, this is true. So I probably wouldn't have checked in very much. But the app on my phone stopped functioning so I couldn't get on the site on the go, which is when I'm normally checking in.
Unfortunately, things got pretty dark around here. I am currently coming off of a seven day drinking binge. I'm ok, I suppose, except we all know how harmful binges can be to our bodies. The most damage that I did to my world was not clean my house and got nothing done, behaved like another person, felt hungover every day and am pretty depressed.
I definitely let myself down and it scares me how a whole week can just disappear.
I started last Friday night, at my art opening. I became tremendously nervous and bought a bottle of wine. I got really drunk. Then since I wasn't able to get through that event, I guess I didn't think I could get through the rest of the week's festivities. Friends came to stay with us, my husband's band's biggest night of the year is Halloween, etc. I just didn't try and I drank an astonishing amount.
I am at home. I'm staying in. I guess I'm just starting again. This is something I used to do EVERY day. I keep reminding myself that since July, when I decided to make a change, I have done better than ever. But it doesn't take away the sting of what I just put myself through.
I guess I just wanted to say hi and that I'm here and nursing myself back to health hopefully
Thanks to those of you who cared and wondered where I was
Plenny
I saw your messages on my page, thank you so much for thinking of me.
I have been very busy, this is true. So I probably wouldn't have checked in very much. But the app on my phone stopped functioning so I couldn't get on the site on the go, which is when I'm normally checking in.
Unfortunately, things got pretty dark around here. I am currently coming off of a seven day drinking binge. I'm ok, I suppose, except we all know how harmful binges can be to our bodies. The most damage that I did to my world was not clean my house and got nothing done, behaved like another person, felt hungover every day and am pretty depressed.
I definitely let myself down and it scares me how a whole week can just disappear.
I started last Friday night, at my art opening. I became tremendously nervous and bought a bottle of wine. I got really drunk. Then since I wasn't able to get through that event, I guess I didn't think I could get through the rest of the week's festivities. Friends came to stay with us, my husband's band's biggest night of the year is Halloween, etc. I just didn't try and I drank an astonishing amount.
I am at home. I'm staying in. I guess I'm just starting again. This is something I used to do EVERY day. I keep reminding myself that since July, when I decided to make a change, I have done better than ever. But it doesn't take away the sting of what I just put myself through.
I guess I just wanted to say hi and that I'm here and nursing myself back to health hopefully
Thanks to those of you who cared and wondered where I was
Plenny
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Hi Plenny! I am so glad you are back. I think we were all hoping you would let us know what was going on.
You should know that there recently was talk on our thread about whether relapses mean you have to leave the class, and the answer is no. You are still in our class and we are happy to have you here if you want to be here!
I am sorry you had a bad week and that you are suffering now. You are not back to square one, though, and we are here for you, ready to help you get back on your feet and keep marching.
(((Plenny)))
You should know that there recently was talk on our thread about whether relapses mean you have to leave the class, and the answer is no. You are still in our class and we are happy to have you here if you want to be here!
I am sorry you had a bad week and that you are suffering now. You are not back to square one, though, and we are here for you, ready to help you get back on your feet and keep marching.
(((Plenny)))
Perpetual Optimist
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: LA
Posts: 1,371
Melina,
Congrats and best wishes on starting your new job tomorrow!!
This past week was the first time that I had worked full days after almost a YEAR of being unemployed, and I wanted to share a few things with you that caught my attention.
Typically after a really long day of work (waaay before I was in recovery) I would "reward" myself by going out and getting drunk.
Last week, toward the end of my first day of work, I got that urge to "reward" myself and got a pretty strong craving for alcohol for the first time in OVER three weeks!
Shortly after the craving hit, I texted a friend of mine (who is also a heavy drinker) and asked her if she wanted to meet up for dinner. I did not plan on drinking, but my AV was calling out to me, and I was walking towards the voice! Texting her was DANGEROUS because of WHY I did it.
Luckily I worked lasted a couple hours longer than I thought it would, which gave me a chance to reflect on that text. In that time I realized why I had text her and told her that I would see her another time.
Instead, after work, to kill time before a meeting (that I was too tired to go to) and called other recovering alcoholics, which helped the craving to pass and also got me in the right mindset to go to the meeting despite being tired.
A couple of days later, I had a REALLY stressful day. A lot of things beyond my control went wrong, and I handled the situations in a good way, but also made the wrong decision a couple of times.
The results were FAR from fatal, but knowing that I hadn't made the "right" decision REALLY stressed me out. Stressing out about ONE thing that was completely beyond my control affected my performance in other ways, and I felt myself start to shut down internally, meaning that I obsessed, got mad at and beat myself up.
When I felt myself shutting down I excused myself, took a moment, and called another alcoholic my age who told me that if something doesn't go the way I want it to, even if it is my fault, I still have to keep it moving.
If I stop to dwell on the past, (even if the past = 5 minutes ago) it will create a domino effect and can lead to dire results. Those results could be that my negative attitude is reflected in my future work/rubs off on others around me, or it could be that I pick up a drink to numb the feeling.
That convo caused me to pick myself up, push through the negative, obsessive thoughts, and resume work with a better, renewed attitude! And you know what? The rest of the evening went flawlessly!
I kept that convo in the back of my head for the remainder of the week and KILLED IT! I made some kick-ass connections and thrived at my job, because I was able to focus on the task at hand rather than on myself and how I felt, which was irrelevant while I was working.
I learned that when things get hectic around me, sometimes I need to pause and breathe and refocus before I can continue to be productive and effective at my job.
So I say all of that to say, try to pay attention to your feelings, but only to the point where you can do something about THEM before they take control over YOU and affect your performance.
Listen to yourself! If you need to take a minute to take a breath/refocus, DO IT! That's what bathrooms are for!
Also, try to have a plan for what you are going to do after work. Maybe meet up with someone (healthy) who you won't have a drink with, or do something for yourself that prevents you from going home right away.
I'm SOOO happy for you, Melina! You are working HARD at this sobriety thing and you are reaping its benefits! This new job is an illustration of that!
Congrats and best wishes on starting your new job tomorrow!!
This past week was the first time that I had worked full days after almost a YEAR of being unemployed, and I wanted to share a few things with you that caught my attention.
Typically after a really long day of work (waaay before I was in recovery) I would "reward" myself by going out and getting drunk.
Last week, toward the end of my first day of work, I got that urge to "reward" myself and got a pretty strong craving for alcohol for the first time in OVER three weeks!
Shortly after the craving hit, I texted a friend of mine (who is also a heavy drinker) and asked her if she wanted to meet up for dinner. I did not plan on drinking, but my AV was calling out to me, and I was walking towards the voice! Texting her was DANGEROUS because of WHY I did it.
Luckily I worked lasted a couple hours longer than I thought it would, which gave me a chance to reflect on that text. In that time I realized why I had text her and told her that I would see her another time.
Instead, after work, to kill time before a meeting (that I was too tired to go to) and called other recovering alcoholics, which helped the craving to pass and also got me in the right mindset to go to the meeting despite being tired.
A couple of days later, I had a REALLY stressful day. A lot of things beyond my control went wrong, and I handled the situations in a good way, but also made the wrong decision a couple of times.
The results were FAR from fatal, but knowing that I hadn't made the "right" decision REALLY stressed me out. Stressing out about ONE thing that was completely beyond my control affected my performance in other ways, and I felt myself start to shut down internally, meaning that I obsessed, got mad at and beat myself up.
When I felt myself shutting down I excused myself, took a moment, and called another alcoholic my age who told me that if something doesn't go the way I want it to, even if it is my fault, I still have to keep it moving.
If I stop to dwell on the past, (even if the past = 5 minutes ago) it will create a domino effect and can lead to dire results. Those results could be that my negative attitude is reflected in my future work/rubs off on others around me, or it could be that I pick up a drink to numb the feeling.
That convo caused me to pick myself up, push through the negative, obsessive thoughts, and resume work with a better, renewed attitude! And you know what? The rest of the evening went flawlessly!
I kept that convo in the back of my head for the remainder of the week and KILLED IT! I made some kick-ass connections and thrived at my job, because I was able to focus on the task at hand rather than on myself and how I felt, which was irrelevant while I was working.
I learned that when things get hectic around me, sometimes I need to pause and breathe and refocus before I can continue to be productive and effective at my job.
So I say all of that to say, try to pay attention to your feelings, but only to the point where you can do something about THEM before they take control over YOU and affect your performance.
Listen to yourself! If you need to take a minute to take a breath/refocus, DO IT! That's what bathrooms are for!
Also, try to have a plan for what you are going to do after work. Maybe meet up with someone (healthy) who you won't have a drink with, or do something for yourself that prevents you from going home right away.
I'm SOOO happy for you, Melina! You are working HARD at this sobriety thing and you are reaping its benefits! This new job is an illustration of that!
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