Class of October 2013 - Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: "In Every Climb and Place"
Posts: 549
Originally Posted by purplelily 
Hi all...day 3 today. Not as full of despair as I was on Monday. Was dreading going home from work, as I hadn't talked to my hubby since the night before when I basically went to bed (or passed out - not sure which. since I blacked out.) leaving him and my 12yo son cooking dinner. He was actually supportive and encouraging, although I know they can't take much more. My job offers 5 free counseling sessions with a qualified provider, and I am going to take advantage of that this time. Have been having some stomach and joint pain, so will need to get my health checked, but I want to wait a few more sober days. Thanks for being here. I feel like this may be my last chance.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
Driver, I'm not a lady but DH stands for Divorced Husband, I think. Speaking of not being a lady, I can't stand Nancy Grace.
I know what you mean about false promises. All I ever tell my wife is that I didn't drink today, this week, or this month. I can't even promise myself the future, but I'm going to try my hardest to keep on keepin' on.
I know what you mean about false promises. All I ever tell my wife is that I didn't drink today, this week, or this month. I can't even promise myself the future, but I'm going to try my hardest to keep on keepin' on.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Originally Posted by Bilr44
Driver, I'm not a lady but DH stands for Divorced Husband, I think. Speaking of not being a lady, I can't stand Nancy Grace.
I know what you mean about false promises. All I ever tell my wife is that I didn't drink today, this week, or this month. I can't even promise myself the future, but I'm going to try my hardest to keep on keepin' on.
I know what you mean about false promises. All I ever tell my wife is that I didn't drink today, this week, or this month. I can't even promise myself the future, but I'm going to try my hardest to keep on keepin' on.
) but I just don't want my children to be disappointed in me. I rarely got drunk around them anyway, so I don't think me quitting has made a big impact. However, I know if I started to go down the slippery slope of losing more and more control, they would have embarrassing scenes to worry about or concerns about my health, like I have with my mother, and I cannot stand the idea of doing that to them.I know a lot of people say that telling my children that I quit drinking alcohol would make me more accountable, but I am just not there yet . . . .
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
I just poured an almost full 1.75 L bottle of bourbon down the drain. Tomorrow morning is trash pickup and I waited until just now to empty my last hidden bottle. I was a little sad watching it swirl down the drain, but it dawned on me that it wasn't so much social drinking that I missed, but rather drinking in solitude for hours at a time. And that's why I can't drink. I don't want a single drink. I want multiple drinks.
I will feel a sense of peace tomorrow when that last empty is carted away.
I will feel a sense of peace tomorrow when that last empty is carted away.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
DD,
Everyone's sobriety is different and there are probably no cookie cutter answers for each of us. AA is probably great for a lot of people but doesn't work very well for others. Telling everyone I am recovering just does not work for me. If I am with friends in the future I might just tell them I'm not drinking for health reasons. I guess women could use the line, "I'm trying to watch my girly figure" : )
I, like you don't plan on drinking again, but we are all human.
Everyone's sobriety is different and there are probably no cookie cutter answers for each of us. AA is probably great for a lot of people but doesn't work very well for others. Telling everyone I am recovering just does not work for me. If I am with friends in the future I might just tell them I'm not drinking for health reasons. I guess women could use the line, "I'm trying to watch my girly figure" : )
I, like you don't plan on drinking again, but we are all human.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Nottingham (UK)
Posts: 2,690
Originally Posted by WhoDey
I just poured an almost full 1.75 L bottle of bourbon down the drain. Tomorrow morning is trash pickup and I waited until just now to empty my last hidden bottle. I was a little sad watching it swirl down the drain, but it dawned on me that it wasn't so much social drinking that I missed, but rather drinking in solitude for hours at a time. And that's why I can't drink. I don't want a single drink. I want multiple drinks.
I will feel a sense of peace tomorrow when that last empty is carted away.
I will feel a sense of peace tomorrow when that last empty is carted away.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
WhoDey, you sound exactly like me except switch bourbon with vodka. You will feel much better about yourself in time as that is no way to live. The days of me being able to be a moderate drinking are long past so my only choice is to quit completely.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by RiverFriend
Hi Driver, I'm certainly around and appreciate your kind thought. I blew it on Friday and again on Sunday and again on Monday too (finished off what was left in the house - at least there's no more eh). Anyway, Day 2 here just haven't felt like posting the redundant same ol' groundhog day struggles I put myself through. Doing a lot of reading and still not beating up on myself, just a bit more quiet and reflecting.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
SFMS, I was starting to feel really guilty about the time I have spent on SR the last month, but then I thought it is cheaper and less complicated than rehab and certainly, cheaper and healthier than spending the same amount of time drinking!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
SFMS, I was starting to feel really guilty about the time I have spent on SR the last month, but then I thought it is cheaper and less complicated than rehab and certainly, cheaper and healthier than spending the same amount of time drinking!
So tired, but don't want to go to sleep. These bad dreams are kicking my butt.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 227
I had a slip a few days ago but I do not regret it. I was experiencing severe anxiety and had even had a couple panic attacks. I was freaked out. Hadn't happened before in my life. Visited my regular doc, they did a blood panel and I took an anxiety test, and didn't qualify for anxiety disorder. They checked my thyroid, gave me a script for a sleeping pill(which didn't even help) and I was so overcome with anxiety and helplessness that I drank 2 shots of whiskey hoping something would help quell it. It helped for a little bit but once the booze wore off the anxiety was back. I was then convinced that I certainly have some sort of hormone imbalance or neurotransmittors are off or something. My mom took me to her naturopath, and did some energy work, biofeedback and came home with a couple bottles of homeopathic drops and they are working... So well! I was off balance in a lot of different areas, and the energy work is correcting it. Now I'm trying to teach myself to go to sleep without any sleep aid. I am still counting myself as sober. After I had those two drinks I immediately felt no desire to do it again, and knew it wouldn't fix anything long term and if I wanted to manage my anxiety, I have to deal with it not drink. just reassured me that my decision to quit was a good one. exercising more, relationship is improving so much with my husband and kids, and feeling so much more optimistic about my future. if it weren't for the slip, I'd be at 45 days sober. I'm still counting!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Just checking in. I had the most amazing day. I went to a concert by myself and met new people (even the band's singer). I did it all completely sober, and I'm so glad that I'll get to remember this experience instead of only the first half until blackout time. It turns out that you can actually have fun without alcohol. Who knew?
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