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Hi all,

I've been atrocious at posting. Sorry about that.

I'm getting caught up in all the great things life has to offer...playing with my kids, exercising, good work...but sadly I haven't had much time to get on SR.

39 days sober. I don't have any urge to drink at all...a little annoyed that I spent so much time getting around to make the choice to stop drinking.

WhoDey

purplelily,

You can do this. I have two children ... 12 and 14. I know we ultimately need to change for ourselves, but my kids are a huge motivator for me. Perhaps selfishly, I don't want them to look back and have mostly memories of dad having a drink in his hand. I also want to be the best dad for them possible. When I've been sober I've been so much more present for them ... not getting annoyed at whatever concern of theirs that might be cutting into my drinking time. Pathetic when I think about it.

I don't know if this is your "last" chance ... but it is a chance. Make the most of it.

DoubleDragons

I have four children and three of them are teenagers. They say you should only quit for yourself, but my children and my future grandchildren and their respect for me, is a huge motivator for me. I have no desire to give them a legacy of hurt and shame and worry. Kids are smart. They know a hypocrite a mile away.

countingdays

Day 17 here! I made it to the gym with a 5:30 wakeup call. NEVER would have been able to do that hungover. I'm feeling lots of gratitude for my sobriety at the moment. Just relived some guilt and shame as I responded to another thread. I seriously pray I never go back to that dark feeling of waking up and sensing something "bad" happened but not knowing exactly what or at all. And then the guilt and shame and remorse and self hatred creep in. And then the cocktail of Tylenol,Advil,Motrin to get me through the day (not recommended- adding insult to injury on my poor liver). And then the damage control, cancelled plans, meetings postponed because I'm too hungover. And then holding my breath and being "good" til I slip up and I start the cycle all over. Nope. Don't miss it one bit.

countingdays

Well said DD. I grew up with an active alcoholic and a sober alcoholic. Although I have obviously had to make my own mistakes, I am forever grateful to my sober Father for teaching me about addiction and for being my shelter in an often stormy home front. Thanks to his teaching, I knew I was an alcoholic from a pretty early age (22) and I knew about AA as a resource. I had all the info I needed to see the signs and get help....with lots of hiccups along the way, I'm back in recovery one day at a time.

I have 2 kids and genetically speaking the odds are at least one of them will suffer from alcoholism. So scarey to me. But, I have two choices: continue to drink and be a fine example of how drinking can ruin the life of an alcoholic and reak havoc on a family OR show them that they don't need to drink and be a fine example of how to live in recovery and have a rich life.

noubledegative

Hi, i would like to join this group.

hope im not too late to the party?

been here on and off since 2011, with varying success.

would like to try again.

Sober date: 30th October

2 days with no alcohol.

WhoDey

Welcome noubledegative!

I joined just last week, so no it's not too late!

TempeBrenn

Welcome, welcome. It's never to late to join the sober train.
I pray for all in this thread everytime I click a thank you, but don't always get to post.

DoubleDragons

I pray for all in this thread everytime I click a thank you, but don't always get to post.
__________________

Thanks so much for the above, Tempe . I so believe in the power of prayer! My employer's brother has terminal cancer. They gave him the choice of hospice or one more round of chemo. He chose the chemo and the one session has cut his "numbers" down in half - even his doctors are calling it miraculous. Needless to say, the prayers warriors have been on this situation!!

Skye2

Countingdays - day 17 here as well Just munched lemon cheesecake with ice-cream, but going to have to slow down on the 'goodies' as my jeans are feeling a bit 'snug'

DoubleDragons

Oh, come oh Skye. You are just getting Bootalicious!!

Driver1

I was sleeping! (more on this later)

Random questions:
1. Ladies, what is a DH?
2. Does anyone else find Nancy Grace pathetic and infuriating?

Time for bidness:
Sorry ya’ll. I’ve been neglectful. Sadly, I’ve not made posting the priority it should be as of late. I feel like we’ve become a team…and I’m the weakest link right now. I value you all far more than I’ve shown over the past several days…especially when considering all the Tobies who’ve kindly taken the time to help me process sobriety at times I felt I was losing my footing.

And I really do enjoy checking in with everybody (and offering whatever support I can to my friends here). I’m gonna try to do better from here on out. I don’t like feeling like an outsider.

But it’s not without good reason! Y’all, I don’t know how/what/why it happened (and don’t care), but starting Sunday night I’ve been getting sleep on a “normal” basis! Ahh. I’d forgotten what 6 or 7 straight hours felt like! I think my brain finally said “chill out dude, yer good”. No more middle of night insomnia sessions when I often catch up on posts!

Anyway, I been keeping up with the thread, just haven’t had time to post…making it priority number one to catch up today. Here goes:

Varying degrees of late but welcome just the same: WhoDey, Marthaagain, SoberForMySon, Brian316, EnemyMine, Kelle96, Purplelily, Robert777, NYCowboyFan, Elysium (way to get right back on!!), Casey54, noubledegative (cool name doublenegative!))

WhoDey, I agree that the majority of people we encounter don’t need to know about one’s decisions to become sober. Where it gets tricky is with those that are close to us. Especially those with whom we are intimate (emotionally). Most would be supportive…they love us and want the best for us. But what of those who’ve been hurt by our behavior? Even trickier. While they love us and want the best for us as well, they are on guard (with good reason). I long avoided discussions of sobriety with my wife (just danced around it) because if my demon taught me anything, it was not to make promises I knew I couldn’t/wouldn’t keep. This is my first dance with sobriety. Before I decided to tell my wife about my decision to become sober (not just moderate), I sat down and truly self-examined the strength of my resolve and the reasons for it. I wouldn’t have told her had I not sufficiently believed I was ready and willing to do the work required to re-wire everything about myself. She had experienced enough despair over the years while watching me drink. I didn’t want to set her up for anymore anguish.

So back to your comment/question “I have difficulty acknowledging the depth of my addiction to anyone face-to-face ... even my closest relationships. Is that an obstacle to success?

In my opinion, it all depends on resolve:
Do tell, low resolve = loved ones let down
Do tell, high resolve = support of loved ones
Don’t tell, high resolve = nothing lost but nothing gained
Don’t tell, low resolve = easy avenue for letting AV back in cause you don’t let anybody down (but yourself)

On a much brighter note (but no less important)!!!:
Nice job to those kickin’ it in to super high gear: Bilr44 (model of superb-sober consistency), DoubleDragons, SoberMarathon, ctrl, WhitePawn (safe travels bud), Hawkeye13, InsaneHeart, teardrop, Little Sparrow, coutingdays, citrus (nice job this morning!), Goose1, dizzychainsaw, free2Bsober13, Skye2, HDrosebud, Grindilow, Pamel (so glad you are back Pamel), Leaving (welcome)…all in double digits (plus). Nicely done everybody. That’s a whole lot of kicking ass and taking names.

FirstSteps and Pushkin, keep it up, you're right around the bend! And nice job Pushkin showing the boss who’s really boss!

DoubleDragons, Congrats on a month momma…I am so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished! (finally got Kick the Drink in snail-mail yesterday, thanks – hoping to read this weekend.)

HDrosebud, you sure you want to exit now? I’m just going to assume you’ve got some super strong resolve. I’m wishing you great strength, Please come back if you need us.

Grindilow, so glad to hear that the new job is going well. Seems like you’re doing well in the face of new circumstances (that often can be a trigger). Congrats on great new changes and handling them with a clear head.

trudgingagain and JLC82, not sure where you came from, but glad you are hear. Weeks into sobriety on SR....what took you so long to find us Tobers where we be kickin it kerrazy style up in this beeyothch.

9yearsgone, I think we last heard from you in week one, nice to see you are still going strong.

Sicknote, hope you are doing well.

Snipe, wishing you the best. Hope to hear from you soon.

Any one seen RiverFriend around?

TempeBrenn, following up on your previous post: I get struggling with the lost memories, unknowns, embarrassments, etc. of the past. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s probably best to just leave them right where they are: the past. The only thing reminiscing on these issues brings to the table is discontent. You are on a far better path right now…don’t let something you can’t change cloud your positivity. What’s done is done. You get to write the future (and remember every sweet moment of it).

Be well all.

DoubleDragons

All I can, Driver, is that you are the BEST! Simply the BEST!!

SoberForMySon

I did two meetings today, and met two possible potential sponsors, so it was a good day! Going to do it all over again tomorrow.

ColeJ

This is my first day of sobriety

Skye2

ColeJ

ColeJ

I see you're in England. I was there over the summer in London and then traveled to Paris

ColeJ

I drank every day

RiverFriend

Hi Driver, I'm certainly around and appreciate your kind thought. I blew it on Friday and again on Sunday and again on Monday too (finished off what was left in the house - at least there's no more eh). Anyway, Day 2 here just haven't felt like posting the redundant same ol' groundhog day struggles I put myself through. Doing a lot of reading and still not beating up on myself, just a bit more quiet and reflecting.

SoberForMySon

Welcome! I'm on day four and using AA this time.