Class of October 2013 - Part 4
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Originally Posted by Bilr44 
So I had to pick up my son and two of his friends in South Beach from a concert at 2:00 a.m. I'm sure the boys loved it because apparently short shorts are in for girls down here, or maybe because it's perpetually summer here.
It felt good knowing that I could be there for him and pick him up at such a late hour. He actual said thanks for picking me up. Imagine that from a teen!
This week I am finishing up 10 weeks of sobriety and day 70 will be tomorrow.
It felt good knowing that I could be there for him and pick him up at such a late hour. He actual said thanks for picking me up. Imagine that from a teen!
This week I am finishing up 10 weeks of sobriety and day 70 will be tomorrow.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Originally Posted by WhoDey
Great job everyone! Many of you have hit or are tantalizing close to big milestones. Nice to have big sobriety brothers and sisters to follow!
Day 18 at this end. Feeling good. No major lows. No major highs. Just continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I did have a brief conversation last night with my wife about my drinking/sobriety. It felt good to discuss my sobriety. Being a normal drinker, she, of course, thinks moderation is a reasonable goal down the line. I told her that wouldn't be possible with me. Life is great without alcohol, so why roll the dice? Way too much downside IMO.
My son didn't make it through the final cut for his 7th grade basketball team last night. He knew he was a longshot, but he was disappointed nonetheless. Especially difficult when many of your friends make the team but not you. As parents, we wish we could protect them from all of life's bumps, but that isn't possible. I'm giving him his space and know he'll be fine. Case in point ... he has baseball practice at noon!
Have a great sober day everyone!
Day 18 at this end. Feeling good. No major lows. No major highs. Just continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I did have a brief conversation last night with my wife about my drinking/sobriety. It felt good to discuss my sobriety. Being a normal drinker, she, of course, thinks moderation is a reasonable goal down the line. I told her that wouldn't be possible with me. Life is great without alcohol, so why roll the dice? Way too much downside IMO.
My son didn't make it through the final cut for his 7th grade basketball team last night. He knew he was a longshot, but he was disappointed nonetheless. Especially difficult when many of your friends make the team but not you. As parents, we wish we could protect them from all of life's bumps, but that isn't possible. I'm giving him his space and know he'll be fine. Case in point ... he has baseball practice at noon!
Have a great sober day everyone!
My husband so easily keeps himself at 2 beers and so easily turns it down if he doesn't feel like drinking. I asked him if he was ever worried about me, if he ever thought I might turn into a full blown alcoholic. He said no, that he just thought I needed to eat more when I drank. While I love his blind adoration, he just doesn't get how hard it is for me to stick with two drinks, how unsatisfying that is for me. :P
Good going at 18 days. Keep high alert around 30 days and then you are golden!!!
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Originally Posted by Bilr44
Free, thanks!
I think sobriety days are like the ocean tides; sometimes it's low tide, sometimes high tide, and you have to weather the occasional tropical storm. Like a tropical storm, each one you live through teaches about upcoming ones. If the storm is going to be real bad sometimes you need to take shelter.
I think sobriety days are like the ocean tides; sometimes it's low tide, sometimes high tide, and you have to weather the occasional tropical storm. Like a tropical storm, each one you live through teaches about upcoming ones. If the storm is going to be real bad sometimes you need to take shelter.
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Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
My husband so easily keeps himself at 2 beers and so easily turns it down if he doesn't feel like drinking. I asked him if he was ever worried about me, if he ever thought I might turn into a full blown alcoholic. He said no, that he just thought I needed to eat more when I drank. While I love his blind adoration, he just doesn't get how hard it is for me to stick with two drinks, how unsatisfying that is for me. :P
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Hey Everyone. Kept myself busy today. Baked loads while listening to the radio. It was good! Enjoyable, a calm day, and yummy food! Simple pleasures are the greatest thing, and I've been so grateful that I was able to do that today.
So it's Saturday night. Mates are out. I'm staying home. Feeling sad again.
I'm thinking "why put myself under this unnecessary pressure? Why torture myself? Why not allow myself to drink, to relieve the tension! It's only one night, and no one will know, or maybe I should just go back to my old ways, was it really so bad, that I have to deny myself alcohol??".
BUT! If I don't stop drinking, I wont ever make any improvements in my life, I'll never fix up the things wrong with me! I'll never wake up feeling good, and I'll never accomplish anything in life! The longer I stay sober, the more likely it is that I'll fix myself, the more likely I'll live a happier existence on Earth. So I've got to stay sober.
The reasons to stay sober, all make logical sense to me. But alcoholism is not logical, this is really hard!! I still want a drink! I feel utterly torn. I'm almost ready to go out and get some booze, but I wont. I'm going to get in bed and watch a movie. Normal people don't feel this way to they!!?? They wouldn't feel so much frustration and conflict with alcohol?
PLEASE GOD, OR WHATEVER IS OUT THERE, PLEASE HELP ME! I don't think I can hold on. If I can't drink, but I still can't NOT drink, how the hell am I supposed to exist? What is the point of me? I dunno.
I feel so lost. I'm scared about the future. I'm defo going back to AA when I can, even if it's just something to do, at least there wont be alcohol there.
sicknote
Sorry, This is just my head stuff. I thought I should get it out. I need to stop dwelling on the negative, must focus on the good. It's so hard.
So it's Saturday night. Mates are out. I'm staying home. Feeling sad again.
I'm thinking "why put myself under this unnecessary pressure? Why torture myself? Why not allow myself to drink, to relieve the tension! It's only one night, and no one will know, or maybe I should just go back to my old ways, was it really so bad, that I have to deny myself alcohol??".
BUT! If I don't stop drinking, I wont ever make any improvements in my life, I'll never fix up the things wrong with me! I'll never wake up feeling good, and I'll never accomplish anything in life! The longer I stay sober, the more likely it is that I'll fix myself, the more likely I'll live a happier existence on Earth. So I've got to stay sober.
The reasons to stay sober, all make logical sense to me. But alcoholism is not logical, this is really hard!! I still want a drink! I feel utterly torn. I'm almost ready to go out and get some booze, but I wont. I'm going to get in bed and watch a movie. Normal people don't feel this way to they!!?? They wouldn't feel so much frustration and conflict with alcohol?
PLEASE GOD, OR WHATEVER IS OUT THERE, PLEASE HELP ME! I don't think I can hold on. If I can't drink, but I still can't NOT drink, how the hell am I supposed to exist? What is the point of me? I dunno.
I feel so lost. I'm scared about the future. I'm defo going back to AA when I can, even if it's just something to do, at least there wont be alcohol there.
sicknote
Sorry, This is just my head stuff. I thought I should get it out. I need to stop dwelling on the negative, must focus on the good. It's so hard.
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Originally Posted by free2Bsober13
It amazes me that you've been able to stop drinking while your husband drinks at all and that he just thinks you need to eat more. If I were in that situation I would still be drinking and pretending to agree with that solution. I don't know how you do it. Even though I knew the truth, it took some prompting to get me to finally admit it and do something about it.
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Originally Posted by Bilr44
I think sobriety days are like the ocean tides; sometimes it's low tide, sometimes high tide, and you have to weather the occasional tropical storm. Like a tropical storm, each one you live through teaches about upcoming ones. If the storm is going to be real bad sometimes you need to take shelter.
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Free, the other thing is that I never really liked beer. It makes me uncomfortably bloated. So it is not tempting to me at all to have beer with my husband. My husband likes wine, but he had no problem giving that up when I decided to get sober.
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Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
I guess I had to come to terms that drunk didn't look cute or funny on a 40 something year old woman, either. Now after my awakening, I have come to terms that drunk looks pathetic, scary and sad, on just about anyone of any age.
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Sicknote, we can laugh about you looking like you are having a stroke when you are drunk, but if you keep at it, the stroke can easily become a reality. About 2.5-3.5 weeks into sobriety, I was having the same argument in my head that you are having, that if staying sober was so hard and all that I ever thought about, I might as well just keep drinking. That is my AV on turbo-charge. That was my AV's crescendo point and with the help of God (keep praying), SR, and lots of distraction, I got past it and now sobriety has been easier. (Not easy, but easier.) I don't think about drinking all of the time, the cravings aren't as bad and my mind goes to NO, a lot quicker than it used to and on top of all this, Sicknote, I have a healthier mind, body and spirit. I get good sleep, my ulcers don't hurt me and I have no humiliation from drinking episodes. Stay focused on the positive and just breathe. I am praying for you, too!
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Sicknote,
I feel like you do more often than not. Frustration and confusion are a constant part of my life. I feel like I'm losing my mind all the time!
I know I need something else, like maybe AA. I don't know. I'm out shopping right now and I want a drink so bad I can hardly stand it!!
There. That's the inside of my messed up head!!
I feel like you do more often than not. Frustration and confusion are a constant part of my life. I feel like I'm losing my mind all the time!
I know I need something else, like maybe AA. I don't know. I'm out shopping right now and I want a drink so bad I can hardly stand it!!
There. That's the inside of my messed up head!!
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Free, see note to Sicknote. I promise you both, if you get past 30 days and listen to Trudging's HALT advice (when you start craving check your Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired levels), you will have an easier time with sobriety, not Easy, but Easier.
One of my sons LOVED his pacifier. It took us forever and ever and lots of bribing for him to finally give it up. Well, soon after he gave it up, he got really, really sick with the flu. It broke my heart because he was all feverish and he kept crying for "papi", as he called it. So, we broke down and gave him papi back for the time he was sick. Biggest mistake, ever!!! After that, he would have swallowed his pacifier versus giving it up again. He had it for a whole other year and we were thinking of getting a psychologist involved. It was a nightmare!! My point is that if you guys break down and drink now, it is going to be that much harder to quit again and you know that inevitably, quitting is where you are headed, one way or another. Might as well do it now, because you already have the scorecard in hand. You don't want to give alcohol more of your life, your relationships, your dignity, than it has already taken!!
One of my sons LOVED his pacifier. It took us forever and ever and lots of bribing for him to finally give it up. Well, soon after he gave it up, he got really, really sick with the flu. It broke my heart because he was all feverish and he kept crying for "papi", as he called it. So, we broke down and gave him papi back for the time he was sick. Biggest mistake, ever!!! After that, he would have swallowed his pacifier versus giving it up again. He had it for a whole other year and we were thinking of getting a psychologist involved. It was a nightmare!! My point is that if you guys break down and drink now, it is going to be that much harder to quit again and you know that inevitably, quitting is where you are headed, one way or another. Might as well do it now, because you already have the scorecard in hand. You don't want to give alcohol more of your life, your relationships, your dignity, than it has already taken!!
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DD, you sound a lot like me....my husband drinks beer....NEVER gets drunk. I NEVER liked beer....but, sooner or later, I began drinking it as well. Here, in Costa Rica, it is like water to most people...very common to see people walking down the street or driving with a beer in their hand....Sicknote, you said, "PLEASE GOD, OR WHATEVER IS OUT THERE, PLEASE HELP ME! I don't think I can hold on. If I can't drink, but I still can't NOT drink, how the hell am I supposed to exist? What is the point of me? I dunno.".....how will you ever find out if you are drunk? Just a thought....
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Another interesting observation: we had to be at my daughter's tennis match at 9 am this morning. It was held at a pretty swanky country club. It was pretty obvious which parents had tied one on last night. They looked rough despite trying not to look rough. Now that I am not drinking, it is so easy to spot. I remember what an effort it took for me to pull myself together for the early weekend morning sporting events. So, big sunglasses, hat, loose clothing was my look . . . . I love finding all the hidden "plusses" of sobriety!
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DoubleDragons - Darn right. I saw a mate a couple of weeks ago that looked rougher than a monkey arse. Well, I thought to myself 'that would have been me'. Thank crunchie it wasn't. Nearly at 30!! I will make it! (said in a tough voice). Thank you for your kind supportive words! I'm on my way to healthy! Yay!
trudgingagain - darn right! - how will I ever know if I don't try?
free2Bsober13! Glad I'm not the only one feeling a bit mental! Phew!! We can do it right!! If its difficult, get out of the shop as soon as you can, and get safe
I've just noticed I freak out about the same time each day. I think its the 'witching hour' I keep forgetting I do that! haha. It's always the 5-8 mark, once I'm though that it gets easier.
Hope you guys enjoy the rest of the weekend!! I'll check in again soon and say hi and see how you're all doing.
Peace and Love to all!
sicknote xx
trudgingagain - darn right! - how will I ever know if I don't try?
free2Bsober13! Glad I'm not the only one feeling a bit mental! Phew!! We can do it right!! If its difficult, get out of the shop as soon as you can, and get safe
I've just noticed I freak out about the same time each day. I think its the 'witching hour' I keep forgetting I do that! haha. It's always the 5-8 mark, once I'm though that it gets easier.
Hope you guys enjoy the rest of the weekend!! I'll check in again soon and say hi and see how you're all doing.
Peace and Love to all!
sicknote xx
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Originally Posted by Bilr44
So I had to pick up my son and two of his friends in South Beach from a concert at 2:00 a.m. I'm sure the boys loved it because apparently short shorts are in for girls down here, or maybe because it's perpetually summer here. It felt good knowing that I could be there for him and pick him up at such a late hour. He actual said thanks for picking me up. Imagine that from a teen! This week I am finishing up 10 weeks of sobriety and day 70 will be tomorrow.
I will hit 40 days on Monday - definitely looking forward to that since it's one step closer to 50, 60, and beyond!
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Congrats to everyone hitting milestones!
I'm just checking in and still sober. I'm doing a 3-day juice cleanse/detox starting today, and the past 2 days were predetox days where I gave up caffeine, sugar, and a bunch of other stuff. I'm going through caffeine withdrawal now and have had a headache for 3 days. I hadn't realized how addicted I was to caffeine, and now I want to keep it out of my system so I don't ever have to go through this again. It's been harder physically for me to give up caffeine than it was to give up alcohol, but alcohol was way more difficult mentally. I'm really trying to get healthy again, though, so giving them both up is right for me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I hope everyone is having a great, sober weekend.
I'm just checking in and still sober. I'm doing a 3-day juice cleanse/detox starting today, and the past 2 days were predetox days where I gave up caffeine, sugar, and a bunch of other stuff. I'm going through caffeine withdrawal now and have had a headache for 3 days. I hadn't realized how addicted I was to caffeine, and now I want to keep it out of my system so I don't ever have to go through this again. It's been harder physically for me to give up caffeine than it was to give up alcohol, but alcohol was way more difficult mentally. I'm really trying to get healthy again, though, so giving them both up is right for me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I hope everyone is having a great, sober weekend.
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