Class of February 2013 Part 9
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Thank you Mel ~ choked up reading your words; I am so incredibly blessed.
I love you.
I took my mum to see the movie of Eat, Pray, Love.
Even in Alzheimer's, it was a huge joy for her, and is an incredible memory for me.
V xx
I love you.
I took my mum to see the movie of Eat, Pray, Love.
Even in Alzheimer's, it was a huge joy for her, and is an incredible memory for me.
V xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Thank you Mel ~ choked up reading your words; I am so incredibly blessed.
I love you.
I took my mum to see the movie of Eat, Pray, Love.
Even in Alzheimer's, it was a huge joy for her, and is an incredible memory for me.
V xx
I love you.
I took my mum to see the movie of Eat, Pray, Love.
Even in Alzheimer's, it was a huge joy for her, and is an incredible memory for me.
V xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 67
Wow here we all are at Part 9! 6 months later and still alcohol free!
I will spend some time this weekend catching up on posts. I've been away from SR for a while.
Lots has happened though. Good things. New house, new baby.
Life is good without drinking.
I will spend some time this weekend catching up on posts. I've been away from SR for a while.
Lots has happened though. Good things. New house, new baby.
Life is good without drinking.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
We had a family dinner; we were all together and it was actually lovely.
My dad, who is 92, didn't remember what today was, and I suggested to my sisters that we not say anything. They agreed.
So we just had this lovely Friday night dinner where no one was drunk, and it was really really nice. My dad enjoyed himself. So did I.
Thank you for thinking of me ~ I worked hard today, then I cried, then I found the strength to pull myself together and be with my family.
Sobriety is an amazing gift; I learn new things every day.
I can do way more than I thought I could.
Love V xx
My dad, who is 92, didn't remember what today was, and I suggested to my sisters that we not say anything. They agreed.
So we just had this lovely Friday night dinner where no one was drunk, and it was really really nice. My dad enjoyed himself. So did I.
Thank you for thinking of me ~ I worked hard today, then I cried, then I found the strength to pull myself together and be with my family.
Sobriety is an amazing gift; I learn new things every day.
I can do way more than I thought I could.
Love V xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,636
Have a great weekend Febbies!
V - thanks for sharing - sounds like you had a wonderful evening. sending warms thoughts.
Fantail - hang in there! not working to bay area tech startup is quite a ramp! in a few weeks, you'll be chillin' like a villian. Congrats again on the position & getting back to yoga.
Mel- thanks for sharing your reads. have those now tagged on my list.
I'm headed home (to my parents house) today w/ my sister. She hasn't been in the US in over a year - exciting day!
V - thanks for sharing - sounds like you had a wonderful evening. sending warms thoughts.
Fantail - hang in there! not working to bay area tech startup is quite a ramp! in a few weeks, you'll be chillin' like a villian. Congrats again on the position & getting back to yoga.
Mel- thanks for sharing your reads. have those now tagged on my list.
I'm headed home (to my parents house) today w/ my sister. She hasn't been in the US in over a year - exciting day!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Well the weekend is here again, glad your day went well yesterday Venus.
Im having my girls over tomorrow so hadn't had any plans for today, was thinking of going to watch my local football team this afternoon, my dads rang wanting me to go up to his place so might try and do both. Felt great yesterday and was looking forward to going to my Friday AA meeting, for some reason when I got there I felt anxious, there was a guy there who always comes drunk to the meeting and he was really gone last night. It made me want to leave if im honest it just reminded me of the feeling I used to get in a bar when someone drunk spoke to me I would accelerate my drinking to feel like them. He kept interrupting everyone, spilling drinks etc. I know its sounds selfish of me and I feel guilty but for me it wrecked the meeting. Felt left out and wish I hadn't gone to be honest.
Trying to see it as a warning sign, but the flat feeling has continued a bit for me today, finding it hard at times to have 'fun' anymore, its like ive forgotten how to enjoy normal things without the thought 'Im not going to drink through this' being in my head.
Im having my girls over tomorrow so hadn't had any plans for today, was thinking of going to watch my local football team this afternoon, my dads rang wanting me to go up to his place so might try and do both. Felt great yesterday and was looking forward to going to my Friday AA meeting, for some reason when I got there I felt anxious, there was a guy there who always comes drunk to the meeting and he was really gone last night. It made me want to leave if im honest it just reminded me of the feeling I used to get in a bar when someone drunk spoke to me I would accelerate my drinking to feel like them. He kept interrupting everyone, spilling drinks etc. I know its sounds selfish of me and I feel guilty but for me it wrecked the meeting. Felt left out and wish I hadn't gone to be honest.
Trying to see it as a warning sign, but the flat feeling has continued a bit for me today, finding it hard at times to have 'fun' anymore, its like ive forgotten how to enjoy normal things without the thought 'Im not going to drink through this' being in my head.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
That would have upset me a lot 1stepup.
Don't blame you at all for feeling flat....I have been to meetings where people were obviously out of it, but they were not allowed to interrupt,
and they were certainly not allowed to drink alcohol inside of the meeting.
I'm a little surprised he wasn't asked to leave.
I hear you on the thoughts that say I need a drink to have fun.
When that happens to me, I say to myself, really? How much fun was it?
Because in actual fact, it was awful. And it made me horribly sick.
And then there was the god-awful hangover.
So, not so much fun.
Many months ago Dee told us that that voice is his evil twin, who has lost the right to a vote. I like that one a lot.
Hope you have a great day with your girls tomorrow; the football match sounds like it will be fun.
Love u lots,
V xx
Don't blame you at all for feeling flat....I have been to meetings where people were obviously out of it, but they were not allowed to interrupt,
and they were certainly not allowed to drink alcohol inside of the meeting.
I'm a little surprised he wasn't asked to leave.
I hear you on the thoughts that say I need a drink to have fun.
When that happens to me, I say to myself, really? How much fun was it?
Because in actual fact, it was awful. And it made me horribly sick.
And then there was the god-awful hangover.
So, not so much fun.
Many months ago Dee told us that that voice is his evil twin, who has lost the right to a vote. I like that one a lot.
Hope you have a great day with your girls tomorrow; the football match sounds like it will be fun.
Love u lots,
V xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Something I do to quell the "it won't be funs" is take my projected image of a situation (like a BBQ where I'm drinking responsibly and having fun) into a projected reality (I drink too much, knock stuff over, say things I'm not supposed to, feel sick the next day and wonder if anyone's mad at me)
When I stop romanticizing my drinking days and remembering them for what they really were I can ease my anxiety about a situation. Usually it takes me actually being in the moment to realize "everything's actually ok sober now that I'm here"
The meeting sounds horrible. It's how I feel when my man comes home drunk (which he hasn't been doing as much lately). I sympathize with you, it's def a trigger for me.
When I stop romanticizing my drinking days and remembering them for what they really were I can ease my anxiety about a situation. Usually it takes me actually being in the moment to realize "everything's actually ok sober now that I'm here"
The meeting sounds horrible. It's how I feel when my man comes home drunk (which he hasn't been doing as much lately). I sympathize with you, it's def a trigger for me.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Hey everyone,
Soooo tired. But wanted to check in and say hello.
1stepup, I've been thinking a lot about the flat feeling I get sometimes. The more I think about it the more I think it has to do with my underlying issues more than it does with the drinking... like from the get go I wanted more more more of everything. Turn up the volume. So now that I'm not drinking, it's not so much that I'm missing out on the fun of drinking, it's that I have to learn what I should've in the first place, which is that things can be good in a quieter way than what I think I want.
It's also led me to seek out things to do that don't make me feel like I need more. Like all this exercise I've been doing... I never realized I liked sports before, but I like the intensity a lot. And scary movies! I hated scary movies when I was a drinker because my nerves were always shot. Now that things are quiet I just can't get enough. I love the adrenaline.
Man listen to me... at 10 years sober I'll be BASE jumping at this rate. (no, no I won't)
Anyway that's all.
I'm in that awful spot where I've got only a couple hours to sleep before I have to be up, but I was working till late so my brain's still buzzing. Going to go force myself to lie down.
Hugs to you all
Soooo tired. But wanted to check in and say hello.
1stepup, I've been thinking a lot about the flat feeling I get sometimes. The more I think about it the more I think it has to do with my underlying issues more than it does with the drinking... like from the get go I wanted more more more of everything. Turn up the volume. So now that I'm not drinking, it's not so much that I'm missing out on the fun of drinking, it's that I have to learn what I should've in the first place, which is that things can be good in a quieter way than what I think I want.
It's also led me to seek out things to do that don't make me feel like I need more. Like all this exercise I've been doing... I never realized I liked sports before, but I like the intensity a lot. And scary movies! I hated scary movies when I was a drinker because my nerves were always shot. Now that things are quiet I just can't get enough. I love the adrenaline.
Man listen to me... at 10 years sober I'll be BASE jumping at this rate. (no, no I won't)
Anyway that's all.
I'm in that awful spot where I've got only a couple hours to sleep before I have to be up, but I was working till late so my brain's still buzzing. Going to go force myself to lie down.
Hugs to you all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Well sorry to say I gave in, the flat feeling I felt intensified into anxiety and felt an internal fight at the football to resist the drink but I drank and the guilt made me drink fast and I ended up in the bar at the game watching through a window, yet again it became my soul priority and the match and meeting my dad got lost in a flood of booze.
I drank until I blacked out that Saturday night and it continued the next day, somehow managed to stay sober and get to work Monday and more importantly saw my girls after work. Think in hindsight football and drinking are too entwined in my brain and have to stay away from live games and watching it in pubs, its a hobby that although I enjoy brings too much temptation my way.
Please know how embarrassed and ashamed I feel, wish id stayed on here when I felt that flat feeling and talked it through, my solution failed miserably thought I could enjoy football but like I have said I was in the wrong state of mind to go alone to a game.
Im back on board, ive joined the new September class thread, am posting everyday on deekers' thread and hope I can still hang out with you guys here? Thanks for your support. I want to get well and stay sober. love and best wishes to you all.x
I drank until I blacked out that Saturday night and it continued the next day, somehow managed to stay sober and get to work Monday and more importantly saw my girls after work. Think in hindsight football and drinking are too entwined in my brain and have to stay away from live games and watching it in pubs, its a hobby that although I enjoy brings too much temptation my way.
Please know how embarrassed and ashamed I feel, wish id stayed on here when I felt that flat feeling and talked it through, my solution failed miserably thought I could enjoy football but like I have said I was in the wrong state of mind to go alone to a game.
Im back on board, ive joined the new September class thread, am posting everyday on deekers' thread and hope I can still hang out with you guys here? Thanks for your support. I want to get well and stay sober. love and best wishes to you all.x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Here for you 1 step.
Fan- love the line "now that things are quieter"
Still feeling anxious about a shift at work on Sunday that we were understaffed for and had 1000 things go wrong. Sometimes I think about how my job is such a misrepresentation of me: a sober vegan selling wine and steaks- that's what I make my money on. It's weird.
I feel like I can use my job as a classroom because i interact with so many people a week. This Sunday everything that went wrong was out of my control (bussers, kitchen, etc) but I was still responsible for all of it and I'm the one whose holding all the stress from it. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere.
Raining in Arizona. Planning on spending the day in bed and taking a day to rest and reflect. All for now, M.
Fan- love the line "now that things are quieter"
Still feeling anxious about a shift at work on Sunday that we were understaffed for and had 1000 things go wrong. Sometimes I think about how my job is such a misrepresentation of me: a sober vegan selling wine and steaks- that's what I make my money on. It's weird.
I feel like I can use my job as a classroom because i interact with so many people a week. This Sunday everything that went wrong was out of my control (bussers, kitchen, etc) but I was still responsible for all of it and I'm the one whose holding all the stress from it. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere.
Raining in Arizona. Planning on spending the day in bed and taking a day to rest and reflect. All for now, M.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Also here for you 1stepup (((hugs))).
Yes, please stay here with us.
You are part of our group, and we love you!!!
Hope you are having (have had?) a well-earned rest day Mel! ♥
Well, 7 months sober today.
Seems unbelievable....very very grateful here.
Love to all,
V xx
Yes, please stay here with us.
You are part of our group, and we love you!!!
Hope you are having (have had?) a well-earned rest day Mel! ♥
Well, 7 months sober today.
Seems unbelievable....very very grateful here.
Love to all,
V xx
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