gonzo4419

Morning all, I picked up a Tassimo brewer for my Mom for Mother's Day, it's something she would never get herself because "instant coffee is fine".... So far it seems to be a hit, especially when she learned it can also do single servings of tea. Not much going on here, after an unusually summerish stretch of 30°C hit a bit of rain the last few days, so the yard work has kinda stalled out, which my back isn't minding, but it's coming together nicely, looking better than it has in years. Sucks that the hockey team bombed out in the first round, but on the other hand there are a lot less distractions so the lists keep getting shorter. It's been years since I've felt this organized and dialed in, feels great to get things done instead of just noticing things and adding them to the mental list, and doing the minimum and then drinking thinking I got some stuff done (Oh, well we unloaded the dishwasher AND did a load of laundry, better take it easy and put away an 18 pack).

Hope everyone has a good Tuesday.

tazzle

Tam congrats on the 150!!! Our weather has been in the mid 90's, it's cooling off into the 70's this week,which is much nicer.

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on 150 days Lynn:

ReadyAtLast

Oooh I'm envious Taz,it snowed a bit here today,seriously bizarre in May

Tamerua

OMG. I can't even handle that. Lol I am from Philadelphia originally but I have lived for 24 years in Florida now and I am Floridian by weather tolerance! Lol give me heat and humidity and I'm good. Give me cold and I cry like a baby.

courage2

Congratulations Tam! This calls for a bunch of bananas!



Dontcha love to watch them go? I can't get enuff bananadan.

NapsteR1

Hi All

Very well done on the 150 Tam, superb!

House plans are creeping forward, get the keys on May 24th then got the next week off for clearing and tidying the old place to try and retain as much of the deposit as possible. I think the landlords are planning on completely re-doing the place after we've gone and offering it up for lots more cash, rental markets been going up and up and we've been here nearly 5 years now and have vigorously fought off any increases in rent since then with a fair amount of success! The landlords also the land owner of the farm and has built 28 smart new houses around us since we’ve been here, our place is looking quite tatty next to the new ones. We pay £850 a month which is a steal for the area for a 3 bed semi, I recon they’ll get more like £1,100 once they’ve tarted it up.

Went to see the new place last Friday on the pre-text of measuring up for stuff, first time we’ve seen it not dressed for sale, heating off, lights off, boxes everywhere and I had a major panic attack, all the rooms looked pokey, small and dark, garden looked about a tenth of the size I’d remembered it and I was left thinking “what the hell have I done??!!” – then had to run to pick up the kids and got stuck in traffic, then got a ****** call from work – trying to calm down with self-diagnostics returning “drink, seriously drink – that’ll calm you down and start making you feel happier about this”. Which was a shock as I had thought I was over the panic attacks and the drink reflex. Thought back to urge surfing and started to imagine dropping into a fast long run on the snowboard – then thought – ok, so you have a beer, but it won’t stop at one really, you’ll get hammered and feel like sh1t, then it wont stop again, then you’ll be back at Day One – not good, so didn’t start.

Eddie Izzard was good, but tbh his act hasn’t really grown in the last 10 years or so, same improv based stuff and whilst the words are new the act isn’t – might have been better in a smaller venue where he could have worked the audience a little. I’ve seen a guy called Bill Bailey play Wembley and he was superb. Well worth a watch

Bill Bailey - Tinselworm Part 9/10 - YouTube

housey housey movey movey – can’t think of much else, looks like we’re exchanging contracts on the house on the Isle of Man this week too so need to clear 2 houses and move into one in a week, only a 500 mile round trip between them too – handy!

Tamerua

Good morning!

Courage, happy 150 days! I have no dancing gifs but I am dancing at home!

Napster, good luck!

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. Whoda thunk I would make it?

Next week are the birthdays. My son's is the 22nd and mine is the 24th. I will be 24 again. . My son will be 13... Jeez, where did the time go? I am happy to report his bipolar is better. I'm not sure if it is because he is older or because I am way more present and consistent. Maybe both. I am grateful it is better.

Everyone have a good one!

Dee74

Congratulations Tam & Courage

D

AliceTW

Hey all

Great to see the 150 days! Way to go! I have enjoyed reading your adventures Napster - and note that you said Soccer instead of Football. Intentional because of the audience here, or is it becoming more well known as Soccer?

Just a really quick post. I'll be back on every day for the next few weeks though, so short is sweet.

Had another shrink session last weekend. It was good. The doctor thinks that a lot of my drinking was due to environmental factors and depression, which is quite interesting - I honestly used to think that I was just hard-wired to drink. With some distance I can see that it was really a mental choice (mental works with dual definition there!).

I'm going to keep seeing him and try to work on becoming happier. I told him about the hamster wheel that I feel like I'm on - always looking to the horizon, waiting for something to happen before I can actually enjoy my life (eg "save more money", "get to a certain weight", "become fitter", "go on holiday", "finish my degree", "get a better job", "stay sober", etc etc). I said that I suspect that when I reach that goal it won't make a difference, I'll just find a different goal in the future to pine for. He reckons it's very common. He said that all those things (well, not the sobriety, but the rest) only account for 10% of people's happiness. The rest is from other things like family, friends etc.

Anywho short and sweet. See you tomorrow.

xx

Tamerua

Alice I'm so happy to see you!

courage2

Alice, it's great that you're working well with your shrink. I don't think a person can go looking for happiness -- or like Dorothy & Oz, you only have to look in your own back yard -- but I admit it would do me good to develop some interests in the world. I'm trying to be open to serendipity.

Busy but not a lot of drama around here recently -- mostly because there's been not much word from my son. I hope that's a good thing. I'm going to be the speaker at another AA meeting on Saturday -- will let you know how it goes. I feel like last time was kind of a disaster, but I can't even if I'd like to.

Tamerua

Morning!

Courage, you're speaking? Wow! What do you say? I've only been to one speaker meeting. Lord I would freak! Lol I say very little in meetings, but I am quiet in general.

Alice, towards the end of my drinking, I was revamping my Facebook profile and it asked about interests.... I had nothing. I wasn't reading, wasn't exercising, no sports... I think that was one of my intellectual nails in the coffin. I am still not so sure what I like LOL but, I know that wine and cigs and sitting around aren't on the list.

Work today. Yesterday was one of my worst work days since getting sober. And I had this weird, I used to drink after days like this, what am I going to do now?, feeling. I ended up just having some Jimmy Johns (they make a great sandwich with no bread!) and going to bed.

Well have to get ready for work, need to get there early today. I lost my smartest person to another department and I was feeling it yesterday.

courage2

Hi Tam,
Most of the meetings I go to in NYC are speaker meetings. The first time I "qualified" was shortly after my mother's memorial service, and I did a boring drunkalog for most of the time and then when I got to the present, pretty much said, well, I don't have any hope. A real inspiration, that's me! I'm not exactly Miss AA-sunny-booster yet, but I think I can summon up a few more positive thoughts this time around.

Tamerua

Sure you can! Before, when I was drinking, I was waiting for my life to finish, if that makes sense. I was waiting to retire and drink myself the way I truly wanted to. I knew that in the back of my head and I never had anything to look forward to. Now. I have lots to look forward to. Lord. Was I the only one living that dismally?

NapsteR1

Absolutely makes sense to me, struggle through the morning hangover and quickly get drunk before you get self-aware enough to question your actions, then sit there drunk counting all the reasons that the odds are always stacked up against you - no way to live. Great news about your boy, thanks for the good luck.

Alice - was just deploying some International clarity on my post, no chance whatsoever of anyone one in the UK suggesting a game of soccer in the park or going to the pub to watch the soccer - will never happen, only one game over there called football and I would rather watch paint dry than a game! NFL is developing a bit of a following but every time I've happened across a game it seems to be 10 seconds of play followed by 10 minutes of flipping about, then another 10 seconds of play - maybe I'm missing something?

Courage – Happy More Than 50 Days (by now) – sorry I missed the day!

gonzo4419

North American "Football" never really made sense, other than punting and kickoffs, and kicking the extra point there aren't any feet involved, ever...

tazzle

Afternoon all. Hope everyone's week is going as well as can be expected. My week is all discombobulated, I have somehow lost a day, I swore yesterday was thursday, today should be friday. I somehow lost wednesday.

Maybe because I am very excited for Saturday we are going to rodeo with lots of vendors that is full of Basque traditions and markets. Beautiful hand made leather items, pottery, stoneware. Cant wait! bringing money!!

Okay everyone, how do you deal with a person who insists on giving the impression to people that they do all kinds of work around the house/farm, when in fact they do NOTHING, lay in bed till 10:30 am or later, start chores around 1, done at 3. and lie to us about what they actually do or have done. yes I am talking about the infamous step son and wife, (mostly wife) that does this, For some reason this is irritating the bejeebers out me. She is giving all kinds of praises to her wonderfull hubby and how hard he works, we know the truth, (the whole family knows the truth) and it is the opposite what she is spewing. I was doing so well at ignoring her, not even acknowledging her existance, but her squeaky voice and actions have weazeled their way into my consciousness. Like the sound of a dental drill in the next room that wont stop. gaaaah, things like this are hard for me to let go, always have been. I have always enjoyed calling these people out and making them admit out loud their lies, but in this situation I know it will not do any good nor improve the situation, make it worse no doubt. sigh,,,

It has been a huge trigger for me, every time a situation comes up where they are involved, (which have been quiet a few recently) my first thought is wine and it has been a battle for me not to go through that door, Im done if I do. but I refuse to give her that power, I can shake it off, go home.
It scares me that that is the knee jerk response I have to them, hubby will tell me that he talked to them, and my mind says go get a glass, run to the old hiding places maybe there will be a bottle Ive forgotten. Does that ever go away? I dont dwell on it, but it bothers me that my response to them is to drink. In time maybe that will die down also.

Dee74

I think it's a pretty natural response to someone with your sober time, and a situation you probably feel you can't really fix Taz...the important thing is you know it's not a solution either, and you're staying true to what you know is right.

I dunno what I'd do in your situation - well I do...they'd be gone....but how viable is that?

D

NapsteR1

that's a bummer Taz, especially as there's no getting away from them, get everyone else on the farm to feign some kind of injury for a couple of weeks and make the bugger really work!

finished fixing up the bike with the help of a great local mechanic, I asked him to fit new front wheel bearings and sort a starting problem, went to pick it up today and asked him how much I owed him, he said all he'd done was clear the carb and check the valve clearances said I owed him nothing - I then reminded him about the wheel bearings (which he would have needed to buy in) and "Oh right, I forgot about that, £47".

I have no idea how he stays in business but I'm glad he does - Day 47 tomorrow which sees me back up to the same number as just before the Big Slip but feel a million miles away from that place right now

weather should be good tomorrow so guess what I'm doing!