gonzo4419

Yes this one always gets me, you make it into how hard it is going to be to stop drinking, and then when you do you realize how much work actually went into drinking. Extra effort to make it to work, counting the minutes until you can bust loose and the workday feeling like its about 16hrs long, hiding the booze or empties, trying to maintain the web of lies you spin to everyone so they "don't know", cleaning up the house becoming a big chore instead of staying on top of it in small bits, etc, etc. Drinking regularly takes effort.

Other than that things still quiet around here, if the forecast holds out sounds like we'll be going from monsoon season to full tilt summer through the weekend. 35° C next week they're saying, one extreme to the other. Can't complain about the rain though, not like we got it as hard as Calgary and southern Alberta, its like armageddon there downtown.

tazzle

Hey Decemberites where is everyone?? Outside enjoying our new lives I hope! I am in full agreement with Courage an Gonzo, looking back being a closet wino took a lot of time and toll on my mind and body. Paranoia much?

Hubby is leaving in a week and a half, will be gone for a week. I am always at my weakest than, the constant AV tries to convince me that I can buy and not hide, just make sure the bottles are gone when he gets home. Just one bottle ya know wont hurt. I am actually more concerned that I will fall of the eating better wagon and end up in the trash food ditch of popcorn and mac and cheese, things hubby hates. I actually had a bag of micro wave popcorn the otherday and about made myself sick. this happened the last time he was gone, oh the hazards of it all

courage2

LOL when my husband was out of town 3 nights last month I ate ice cream and popcorn in bed every night which he would hate! But I totally don't care, I DID NOT DRINK and if it took microwave popcorn to get me through the hours sober that's what it took. Food may not be the best tool for coping with loneliness, but sometimes it's the only one you've got.

Rock on, Taz!

Marria

So true Gonzo, huge effort went into all the covering up and the stress of being found out. Now when dealing with any stress I think how much worse drink would make it instead of the old lies of how it would make it much better and of course that I 'deserved' a drink after my long day at work!!

Marria

Courage I agree with you about food. At the moment I'm eating full packets of cookies whereas I have been very disciplined about food in the past. Popcorn has also become a favorite snack. But if this eating is linked in to keeping me sober then for now that's ok. Eventually it will all fall into place, I have absolutely no doubt about that!!

Tamerua

Howdy all! We are coming up on another system release so... Long hours at work. And fitting in meetings, working out, kid stuff. I feel great though, the diet I am on is helping. Fish, chicken, quinoa, beans, veggies and fruit. No processed foods.

I have to have a colonoscopy next week that I am not looking forward to, I've been having major stomach issues from pre-sobriety.

Everyone have good one!

tazzle

Monday our temp was mid 70's with rain, today low 90's, tomorrow 102 with a forcast of 109 on tuesday. Im going to be needing more sweet iced tea and sunscreen, thank gawd for AC!

tazzle

That devil voice is talking to me today, what it's trying to convince me to isn't happening. But it is rather annoying in its persistence

Dee74

do this Taz

Addiction>< You

D

Tamerua

Morning! Tazzle, how are you? Have you slapped that AV down?

Off to work in a few, still gearing up for the release and each time my sleep is disturbed (I've already been up for over and hour). But, only 3 more weeks and hopefully it will go well. Meeting tonight, have to practice dancing somewhere this week. We are still doing dance, salsa, merengue and bachata and they asked us to be in a December choreography. Um. Gulp! Wouldn't have done that sober before! Lol

Everyone have a good one!

tazzle

hello Tam! yes I have! I compare my voice to that insistant bratty 5 year old child you see in the store all the time. can i have candy? no, give me candy! NO! Now this little brat is way better than the big, self entitled bully that I was fightin with a few months ago. Just wish it would I could make it stand in a corner and SHUT UP!

Fallow

Haha yes Tazzle I think the same way about the stubborn child. When my little one is throwing a tantrum I cannot control her either!

The good news is I don't have to give her what she wants. In fact I know if I did give in it simply ensures that the next tantrum will be even worse! Same as that voice....

Today yesterday and tomorrow is super hot here! I'm hangin out inside.. Reading SR.. Working out.. And doing laundry..

Hope you all have a nice weekend

Marria

I'm going on vacation in a few days so I will be off-line until the end of July. By the time I'm back posting and reading on SR I hope to be 7+ months sober and to feel relaxed and refreshed by being away with family. Although part of me actually wants to leave them at home so I get a break from them too!! Recently I've been too involved and reactive with my teenage children...now its time for us all to lie in the sun and unwind!

I hope everyone in our Dec '12 class has a good July, when people don't post I really hope its because life is too full and busy for them rather than drink being back in their lives.... I will think of this class while I'm away and I wish you the best until I reconnect at the end of the month.

I suppose going away is time to reflect on how SR has enriched my life so much, especially over the past year. It would have seemed impossible last summer to have achieved steady sobriety beyond a few weeks here and there...
Its a gift beyond measure so thank you again from the bottom of my heart xxx

tazzle

Stay safe and have loads of Marra !

courage2

Hi guys!

Not much to say on my end. Been having a lot of drink-obsessed thoughts these days. I just try to wait them out. I suppose it's nerves about the coming funeral. I've had pretty grueling headaches all week and a lot of stress at work -- good stress, but stress. It's all related. I know I'm better the way I am now -- the cravings aren't sensible, but they're strong. I envy people who say that the obsession to drink gets lifted.

Also, has anyone had something so strong that it's more of a drink-hallucination than a drinking dream? I've had dreams w/alcohol in them frequently lately (and w/my parents, again it's all related), but one day I woke up positively CONVINCED I'd had a drink the day before. I had to search my memory of the previous day repeatedly to persuade myself it wasn't real, and it still "feels" real -- like a hallucination, for those who know what that's like. This happened to me once before. Can anyone relate?

Hope everyone is healthy and keeping in the middle of the path!

courage2

So true, Marria! Have a great vacation and thanks for being here -- keep coming back, as they say in AA!

Dee74

My drinking dreams were very vivid too Courage.
I hope your stress is over soon.

have a great break Marria

have a great weekend all

D

Dee74

time for a new thread - we start here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html

D