LDT

Everyone seems to be doing very well! Awesome job, guys!

EQ talks about walking a tightrope....good metaphor......think of SR as your safety net underneath. We'll catch ya!!

tootsl1

Great going buddinK!

walkingwithgod

Good Day folks, today is day 12 and a record for me. I have been sleeping well, and have been enjoying the sober life. Although every morning I wake up in a panic that I am hungover, I guess old habits are hard to forget.

soberjim

Hey Matthew...Keep checking in...I had a dream the other night I was drinking. Woke up in the morning and was I ever glad it was only a dream...

Week end coming up... Just ignore your av...It will play tricks on you if you let it! You can do this!

Jim

tootsl1

Matthew, you are doing so well! Keep focussed so many here are rooting for you!

Good to hear from you soberjim. I hate those drinking dreams, though better than the one I ad say night, spiders kept falling onto me from the ceiling, and I am really phobic! Yeugh!

walkingwithgod

I drove right past the liquor store on the way home, and I felt proud. Day 12, and I owe a lot of it to you guys and girls.

Dee74

great going wwg

D

tootsl1

Matthew, every small victory is a big step forward.

walkingwithgod

Sobriety is worth it, and I realize this more every day.

Grace2

13.55 Sat

Good afternoon Unders

I'm hoping to find you all well and sober.

Toots, many congratulations on 3 weeks and 1 day, that's wonderful and it is so heart warming to hear that your husband is being a rock. You'll soon be back with me in the 'One year and under' gang!

WWG, you're doing just great, just stay focused over the week end, you know you can. You'll be on a whole fortnight tomorrow at this rate. Yay.

Buddink, that's awesome, just keep on doing what you're doing.


Hi LDt, it's great to see you posting here again.

Jim, those drinking dreams are horrid, so realistic, I don't get them very often now but they are always so vivid, so realistic, I wake up in a panic when I have one. I use them as a reminder of how it was and how I don't want to be again!

EQ you posts are always full of advice and inspiration, they help all of us not just the under 30's, so thank you. xxx

Hi Dee, though I guess that you are well in the land of nod right now.

See you all later

Stay safe and sober

Gxxx

*****

Just for today I will I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to notice what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me

Sobreia

Hi all,

I am new to this site and thought I might introduce myself in this group. Sorry for the long intro, find it helpful to share my story...

I have been sober since April 3. I am an alcoholic, of the binge drinking non-functional kind. I don't drink every day, I can go weeks without drinking, but once I drink I cannot stop. I drink myself to oblivion, blackout, behave in ways that are not "me", endanger my health and life and feel incredibly remorseful, anxious and devastated days after. I have often called in sick or cancelled important appointments due to long lasting physical and mental hangovers. The number of immensely embarrassing and shameful stories are piling up, and I can't suppress them any longer.

I am 31 years old, this has been going on since my early 20s, and it is getting worse with age. It has affected relationships and friendships. I have tried to drink moderately, have more water, limit the number of drinks I have. The times I've succeeded drinking moderately over these past ten years I can count on one hand.

At the moment, I feel I cannot experience happiness when sober. Alcohol, or rather my addictive mind looking for "highs", has numbed me. I can't experience intense emotions the way I used to, whether it is happiness, sadness or love. I don't know how to appreciate life. I also feel that my mental capacity, memory especially, has been negatively affected.

I constantly long for that feeling I have after two or three glasses of wine, but it never stops there. I keep trying to convince myself that this time I can stop when I need to, just to be able to experience that feeling of light intoxication. In those moments I cannot recall the remorse I feel the day after and how I am willing to jeopardise everything in those moments, relationships, even my own life. There is a constant fight between two persons within me, one who wants to let go of all control, and another that is too controlling and judgemental.

I am aware of some of the reasons why I drink (low self esteem, high demands on myself/self-criticism, mother who can't handle alcohol, parents had bad divorce when I was 12, an abusive relationship - all of these of course interlinked in many ways) but I don't want to be a "victim" and find excuses, I want to be responsible and kind to myself. I want to find balance, where I am not out of control and not too controlling, a state of harmony and self acceptance.

I hope I can gain and give support here, and that this experience will give me strength to stay sober.

A nice weekend to all of you,
S

Sobreia

It's a sunny day here, spring is finally arriving. People are out having a great time, and all I can think of is meeting up with friends, sitting on a terrace or in a park having a glass of wine or a cold beer. I long for the day when I feel I am stable enough to be in these situations without giving in to the desire to drink. I want to enjoy being amongst friends without that underlying urge to drink, to not feel I have to have a glass or two before I can relax and enjoy myself. I really want to be able to be in the moment, and enjoy it.

EternalQ

Sobreia, and everyone, good morning!
One of the best parts of sobriety for me was/is finally not feeling like "two" people (like you described).

I no longer lie... keep all my worlds separate... my friends, colleagues, and family separate.... no longer have constant crazy battles in my head... my heart, soul, mind and body at war... no longer hide from myself... half of me hating and resenting the other half...

It was the most horrible existence to try and live as a broken person. So debilitating. And it is impossible TO live that way...

Now, I am ONE person. I am the same person with everyone. It is the most deeply healing experience. It is so sublime that honestly, I can't adequately describe it. There are no words to describe this part of Recovery's transformation. I am a human being again.

How did I become one person, internally and externally?

I stopped drinking and refused to drink again. I wish the same for you, for everyone.

stevie88

Hey guy's and gal's....Day 121 for me today and I just wanted to pop in and say that this week has been one of the toughest weeks for me....I really wanted to drink,but I didn't,I fought and I fought and I fought it....And that's what you guy's have gotta do....I hope you are all well.....Steve...

EternalQ

Nice post Steve. Well done! Every time you resist it makes you stronger and stronger. Like immunity building up over time. Thanks for sharing.

Grace2

Sobrella, welcome to the Under 30's and thank you for your candid post. I have been where you are now, I was in that place for years and I know you can get past it. Getting sober has been and is the kindest and best thing I have ever done for myself. You can do it too.
You'll get lots of support here, so read and post as much as you can, be kind to yourself and listen to what your body is telling you, if you are tired sleep, if you are hungry eat, etc. We're all here for you.

I can relate to that E.Q,

Steve

Gxx

Dee74

Welcome Sobreia

great post EQ

hope everyone is having a great weekend!
D

walkingwithgod

Day 13 is flying, it helps to keep busy.

Grace2

23.10

Just nipping in to say goodnight, though I probably won't sleep, we've been watching 'The walking dead' O.M.G it is not a Grace kind of film at all!

WWG, a fortnight tomorrow, woo hoo, awesome. xx

Hope to see more of you tomorrow

Sleep well

Gxx

Dee74

It wasn't my scene either....leave a night light on Grace, lol



D