melissa6381

Oh PK. Sad for you. =(

I wish I had some good advice for you. I put off posting for a while to see if any words of wisdom came to mind. I have the opposite problem where I am maybe a little to bossy and assertive at times. I tell people how it is and people who don't are hard for me to connect with. I think thats because i need to know people are being honest and authentic with me in order for me to feel connected to the real them. Maybe there's some wisdom in that? That I'm only interested in getting to know the real you and not a people pleasing version of yourself. I dunno, that's all I got. Here for you- hope you don't give up.

Went out to a sushi place after work tonight. First time hanging with coworkers since this length of sobriety. They all know so it wasn't a big deal, but they each only got one beer and my AV was bothered by it. When the waiter came by and they were almost out I was thinking, " your almost out and he might not come back again for a while, how are you not going to order one right now". Triggered but sober. All for now, M

Goose1

Hi TigerLili, "27 DAYS" Grrrrrrr also.

Goose1

It's going to be OK P-Kitty. I believe Sobriety is a process. If I would tell you how many times I promised myself I was not going drink again after a drunk and even being sober, I'd be a 20 year ole' timer by now. For me however, slipping can be very dangerous. See I like to binge a day or two and that my friend is a real slippery slope. Whats important is that you recognize, pick yourself up and don't beat yourself up over this. And I know, I was more hard on myself than anyone could have been. Lately, I have been trying to put God first in my actions. But admitt, it's hard and God's grace is not always the first thing I think of. He should be, he has carried me through so many drunk situations and into Sobriety. Greatful I am. I really believe in life we complicate our situations to much. Things are never as bad as what we make it out to be. You are so right, sun and song will get me thinking about drinking in a heartbeat. But you know what, I have drank so heavily on many occasions that I could not even enjoy the sun the next day even if I wanted to. Next, I have had occasions were I stopped after a couple of drinks. Some people may call it alot, but I never thought it was to much drinking a bottle of wine (4 glasses) with a steak and cigar on a Friday night at home. I soon came to realize in another week I would be out on a binge behind the wheel of my car. Slipping this way is nutz, completely insane. So all I was doing on those so-called controlled occasions was planting seeds for my next drunk. I know its hard but I really believe we need to focus more on keeping our lives simple and not making to much of a big deal out of all this confusion the world throws at us. Many times we expect the worse and its just the opposite. Stay Sober P-Kitty... Your

Goose1

"Always" soothing to the soul. Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart - YouTube "We're not that different at all."

Pamel

PreciousKitty, This is not only genetic (not your fault), but "learned behavior". You can, over time teach yourself a new way to react.

Learned behavior is what lets us get up in the morning and just start walking. We do not have to learn how to walk again every morning, but if we have just had a knee replacement we have to "relearn". Same with picking up a drink. Practice new ways of dealing and you will get there.

Dust yourself off, make note of what happened, and think through the situation again, substituting a different reaction. That's all. ...a big order, I know, but any time wasted beating yourself up is valuable time for learning (much more productive!).

1stepup

Hi everyone, sorry to hear about your slip precious, hope you dont get too down about it and get back on board. I can totally relate to the drinking in the sun thing. The daunting part of staying sober is dealing with life and emotions without that crutch we're so used to.

The good thing about being sober is that we get our feelings back.......

The bad part about being sober is that we get our feelings back.

Hope you stay with us and fight with us.

Starbaby928

Just checking in on Day 22... I'm lonely. The past few days have been rough. I can tell I'm isolating myself, even from y'all. That doesn't even make sense. I think I'm in a bit of social shock. I went from the hustle & bustle of my life before to silence. I look forward to meetings and therapy. But even at meetings, I haven't been able to overcome this feeling and reach out to anyone. The days feel long & the nights feel empty. I don't know. Yesterday I wanted a drink... Badly. I didn't. I went to a meeting instead. But even that was illogical to me. I'm terrified of what I am when I drink yet- there I was- contemplating... Even visualizing... Being at my neighborhood bar.

Thanks for listening. I feel like I'm taking and not giving back... For that, I apologize.

Dee74

It's very very common to feel overwhelmed starbaby.

It's like we've wiped the backboard clean on our old life...now we have to start the process of filling up the board again.

It's not always easy to make new friends or begin new things, but you're not alone.

Have you made any friends at AA?

Do you have any non-drinking friends, or friends who'd support your recovery if you went out and saw a movie or something:?

D

Starbaby928

There is one woman who checks in on me from AA. Other than that, no. I've had bad social anxiety at meetings and haven't reached out to anyone there. And, no friends here really, drinking or otherwise. Lost a lot of them due to my relationship with my partner... Well, now, the lack thereof. I know things will eventually look up... That seems to be consistent with all the people's stories in AA... It just sucks right now. And I'm trying to stay positive & pick up the pieces... I really am.

Dee74

Things do pick up - very few of us would stay sober if they didn't

D

venuscat

dearest Starbaby,

Ditto on the things Dee said ~ you are not alone.

Did you by chance catch Odelle's post on PAWS the other day? It was so helpful in so many ways, that I hope Odelle doesn't mind if I repost the link... Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies

I too am terrified of what I am when I drink...but this disease is cunning, baffling powerful.... so no matter how far we have come, those visualisations can sneak up on us.

Just For Today ~ let us all just not pick up just for today... we can do that right?

Love you a lot,

V xx

venuscat

[QUOTE=Odelle;3861968] Lovely Odelle,

Thank you ~ both for you congratulations, and for your words of wisdom regarding little V.

I have this website bookmarked...I will spend some time reading up on UTI causes. You told me something that has helped a great deal; I am going to change her dry food immediately to one of the Urinary Tract prescription foods. Somehow I manged to forget about this, in spite of having worked in a veterinary clinic years ago.

You are an endless source of wisdom and information ~ so glad that you are here....we are blessed to have you in our group.

Love and hugs to you,

V xx

venuscat

Dearest Precious,

Words of wisdom from Fitness.

I love you Kitty Cat Cuz ~ please do not be too hard on yourself. As has been said in our thread before, this is a marathon, not a race. The only time is now, and you are here with us, and we are all here for you.

We can all over complicate things, and catastrophise, as MSweeney reminded me the other day....you are on the right path....this is just a bump in the road.

The job at hand is to not pick up a drink today ~ let's do this together!!!

your friend,

Venus xx

least

I slipped too many times to remember and now have over three years so don't give up! Keep trying and you'll get it right.

I isolate a lot myself, but like it that way. I live alone but know where to go if I want company. One cure for loneliness is doing volunteer work. It's a great way to spend your time and meet new people, and you're helping somebody out at the same time. Check it out, Starbaby.

fantail

30 days!

Dee74

I'd like to welcome least too - she'll be around here as well as my offsider - not a 'mini Dee' but a 'maxi least '

D

Starbaby928

Venus- thank you so much for reposting... I missed that the first go round

Odelle- thanks for originally posting... I read through this and feel better that I'm not behind or going crazy.

Love to you both!

Starbaby928

Ooooooh yeah... I wanted to look at volunteering at the local dachshund rescue here!!! My baby is a rescue- dachshund/Jack Russell mix... And I want to find him a companion. My partner & I had 4 dogs between us & now that she's gone, I think he's lonely.

Thanks for reminding me!

Starbaby928

Congrats Fantail!!

wehav2day

Fantail, congrats on 30 days!!!

PK, sorry you slipped. it happens to so many of us. don't let it take you down, you deserve to be sober and free.

Star, it's easy to isolate. spending time alone to think is totally cool, but you now also have a new opportunity to meet people who won't be "drinking buddies," they will be actual friends. i stopped going to bars some time ago and realized that i almost never see those people anymore. they weren't my real friends. you have already gotten great advice. go do something you enjoy, and people will be there. you will already have something in common with them. look forward to hearing about your adventures!