Class of May 2012 pt 3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
Crewisms, thank you for that support and I'm sorry the demon has been at your shoulder tonight too. These moments should confirm for us that we do indeed have an addiction. I have to remind myself that non-alcoholics, aka people who CAN have just one drink, are not climbing the walls and pulling out their hair at the prospect of having a Wednesday night alone in their homes, sober.
I loved this quote I recently read in Drinking: A Love Story (which I recommend to everyone):
I don't know if anyone else relates to this, but to me it rings completely true. I have spent so much time fretting about and trying to manage my alcohol obsession and attachment - normal people do not think or act like this.
I loved this quote I recently read in Drinking: A Love Story (which I recommend to everyone):
"When you question your alcoholism, you say to yourself: If I am an alcoholic, I shouldn't drink, and if I'm not an alcoholic, I don't need to. That's a nice piece of logic. You say: People who aren't alcoholics do not lie in bed at two-thirty in the morning wondering if they're alcoholics. A good reality check."
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Southeast, USA
Posts: 631
Originally Posted by Payton 
I am totally with you guys. I want everyone to know that everyone is important to me and I am following all the stories and all of the struggles.
I'm also with you on the water! That's a huge help, for so many reasons.
One last thought. As we enter the last day of May, I'd love to see everyone's "why's" - why are you pursuing sobriety and wellness. What you want out of sober life and what you don't want to happen to you via active, continuing addiction. I would love to read the lists of anyone who wants to share. I'll work on mine and post it tomorrow.
I'm also with you on the water! That's a huge help, for so many reasons.
One last thought. As we enter the last day of May, I'd love to see everyone's "why's" - why are you pursuing sobriety and wellness. What you want out of sober life and what you don't want to happen to you via active, continuing addiction. I would love to read the lists of anyone who wants to share. I'll work on mine and post it tomorrow.
I hope to be happy and healthy now that I am sober. I hope to be a better husband, dad, friend, and co-worker. I want to treat myself better and get back into shape as I was an athlete when I was younger and have slacked since around 2007 or so (I think that year is right--I've blocked it out). Also, I just feel like I have spent the past 20 years not growing up and still being a big kid instead of a grown man........I'd also like to have a liver when I am 50...yikes.........
So that is me...one thing I know is I am NOT turning back at this point. Tomorrow is 28 days and I owe this to my wife, kids, and myself....and to you guys!!!
Thanks for the thought-provoking question.
have a great night, folks!
Lee
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
I started to answer Payton's question about why we want to be sober, but I got all emotional and deleted it. I'm in kind of a weird, melancholy mood tonight. The old me would have poured the first of many glasses of wine, but the new me knows it's not an option.
Anyway, I'll try this again. Why I want to be sober:
* To be a better mom. (I get weepy and emotional when I elaborate on this point, so I'm going to leave it at that.)
* To feel better. No more morning brain fog for me.
* I was kind of scaring myself. Something bad will definitely happen if I continue drinking, and knowing that freaks me out.
* Vanity. Not easy getting back down to my ideal weight when I'm nailing an entire bottle of wine or two every night.
* I like to run. Did I tell you that I've run five marathons? My running has been crap lately, thanks to hangovers and extra weight. I want to enjoy running again.
* Most importantly, this isn't me. By nature, I'm happy, energetic, silly, curious, and adventurous. Alcohol ruins everything, leaving me spinning my wheels, frustrated and unfulfilled. It makes me restless about my life. And what do I do when I feel restless? I drink. Well, I used to drink.
So I'm choosing sobriety because I want to be the best version of myself that I can be and live my life to the fullest. I want to be close to my kids, I want to retain as many IQ points as I can, I want to have adventures, and I want to look good while doing it.
Anyway, I'll try this again. Why I want to be sober:
* To be a better mom. (I get weepy and emotional when I elaborate on this point, so I'm going to leave it at that.)
* To feel better. No more morning brain fog for me.
* I was kind of scaring myself. Something bad will definitely happen if I continue drinking, and knowing that freaks me out.
* Vanity. Not easy getting back down to my ideal weight when I'm nailing an entire bottle of wine or two every night.
* I like to run. Did I tell you that I've run five marathons? My running has been crap lately, thanks to hangovers and extra weight. I want to enjoy running again.
* Most importantly, this isn't me. By nature, I'm happy, energetic, silly, curious, and adventurous. Alcohol ruins everything, leaving me spinning my wheels, frustrated and unfulfilled. It makes me restless about my life. And what do I do when I feel restless? I drink. Well, I used to drink.
So I'm choosing sobriety because I want to be the best version of myself that I can be and live my life to the fullest. I want to be close to my kids, I want to retain as many IQ points as I can, I want to have adventures, and I want to look good while doing it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Great posts Lee and Luling. It really got me thinking too.
I have been drunk since college days too. It didn't stop me from having a career or a fantastic family but I don't think I've ever figured out who I really am.
I'm naturally shy and awkward, so a drink initially gave me confidence. I became that person who was the life and soul of the party. No-one could really see that below the surface I was crippled with anxiety, always fearful of the fact I would some day be 'found out', that my whole life was a lie and I wasn't the person they thought they knew.
Alcohol stopped working for me years ago, yet I was scared to live without it. Would anyone like me sober? Would I like myself? And who the F am I anyway?
I want to be sober because .......
I want to be the mum my kids deserve-I want to be 'there' for them.
I want to live. It was slowly killing me.
I want to be free to learn about myself, to accept who I am and grow as a person. Emotionally I am still very child-like.
I want to be a better wife and friend.
I want these things more than anything, more than I need a drink.
I choose a sober life. X
I have been drunk since college days too. It didn't stop me from having a career or a fantastic family but I don't think I've ever figured out who I really am.
I'm naturally shy and awkward, so a drink initially gave me confidence. I became that person who was the life and soul of the party. No-one could really see that below the surface I was crippled with anxiety, always fearful of the fact I would some day be 'found out', that my whole life was a lie and I wasn't the person they thought they knew.
Alcohol stopped working for me years ago, yet I was scared to live without it. Would anyone like me sober? Would I like myself? And who the F am I anyway?
I want to be sober because .......
I want to be the mum my kids deserve-I want to be 'there' for them.
I want to live. It was slowly killing me.
I want to be free to learn about myself, to accept who I am and grow as a person. Emotionally I am still very child-like.
I want to be a better wife and friend.
I want these things more than anything, more than I need a drink.
I choose a sober life. X
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Well, it's day 4. Got my feet on the floor. Not going to be drunk any more...
Today I'm planning on getting some writing done. Maybe a little shopping. Have a nice relaxing bath later.
Luling, wanting to not be fat isn't vanity. At least, I don't think so. I've been... a lot bigger in the past and I never want to get that way again. Maybe my maths was off, but it's the thing that made me (at least initially) want to quit.
Then I started writing a blog, starting with how I got to where I am. Your own writing shouldn't shock you, but it did me, and that made me determined.
I'm starting university in September, and I really want to make a go of things, get a degree, go into research. Make a difference in some small way. Be useful.
And Payton, I remember telling myself, at a time when I was failing to quit, "Why am I putting so much effort into this? All I'm doing is beating myself up when I have a drink. It's not stopping me drinking, just making me unhappy. And after all, it's not a problem so why do I need to quit anyway? So, accept I like a drink, and carry on."
Then I realised there was a third option.
Today I'm planning on getting some writing done. Maybe a little shopping. Have a nice relaxing bath later.
Luling, wanting to not be fat isn't vanity. At least, I don't think so. I've been... a lot bigger in the past and I never want to get that way again. Maybe my maths was off, but it's the thing that made me (at least initially) want to quit.
Then I started writing a blog, starting with how I got to where I am. Your own writing shouldn't shock you, but it did me, and that made me determined.
I'm starting university in September, and I really want to make a go of things, get a degree, go into research. Make a difference in some small way. Be useful.
And Payton, I remember telling myself, at a time when I was failing to quit, "Why am I putting so much effort into this? All I'm doing is beating myself up when I have a drink. It's not stopping me drinking, just making me unhappy. And after all, it's not a problem so why do I need to quit anyway? So, accept I like a drink, and carry on."
Then I realised there was a third option.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 437
17 days sober
Hi all! I am trying again. Wanted to wait till I had a couple weeks. This is always when I start getting squirrly. I feel good, and then I start forgetting how horrible it was. And it was horrible, the day after drinking is like hell. Cant sleep, alternate between being cold and hot. Full of fear and dread, self-loathing. And the incessant thoughts on how long it would be before i could get more alcohol.
So glad that is behind me. And scared I'll end up there again.
Well I am going to have to spend some time reading all of your posts and getting to know you. I am greatful to be here and be sober.
So glad that is behind me. And scared I'll end up there again.
Well I am going to have to spend some time reading all of your posts and getting to know you. I am greatful to be here and be sober.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 64
Nine Lives
As I count through them I do not have many left.
1. Back seat of a car that ran into a telephone poll
2. 2 DWI's
3. Passenger in a rolled over military jeep
4. Open passenger door at 50 MPH
5. Back flip off high dive at 1:00 in the morning
6. Countless numbers of unremembed falls
7. Falling off a boat
8. A liver running out of patience
9. One left to go. This is why I am here
1. Back seat of a car that ran into a telephone poll
2. 2 DWI's
3. Passenger in a rolled over military jeep
4. Open passenger door at 50 MPH
5. Back flip off high dive at 1:00 in the morning
6. Countless numbers of unremembed falls
7. Falling off a boat
8. A liver running out of patience
9. One left to go. This is why I am here
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by Jeni26
No-one could really see that below the surface I was crippled with anxiety, always fearful of the fact I would some day be 'found out', that my whole life was a lie and I wasn't the person they thought they knew.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Wow! That's the perfect question for this last day of May and the responses so far are truly inspiring and so varied. Everyone has obviously been putting a lot of thought into this. I wanted to catch up on the posts now so I won't be spending 3 or more hours reading posts tonight after work (might happen anyway - lol), plus I needed the inspiration this morning. Day 4 :-)
I'll write my list tonight.
Way to go with that question, Payton - thanks!
I'll write my list tonight.
Way to go with that question, Payton - thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northern Utah
Posts: 920
Mornin, all. I wish it weren't morning. I didn't sleep well. I'm stressed about work. My contract is for 30 hours a week and even if I had 60 hours a week I wouldn't be able to get the work done. I have the job of 2 people.
Ok anyway. I like Payton's question about why we want to get sober. I think I'll wait until later today to post that. The coffee needs to bust through the fatigue. Maybe should work out to kickstart my body, and I know that if I skip it this morning I'll likely come home this evening and just collapse on the couch.
Good work everyone on another day
Ok anyway. I like Payton's question about why we want to get sober. I think I'll wait until later today to post that. The coffee needs to bust through the fatigue. Maybe should work out to kickstart my body, and I know that if I skip it this morning I'll likely come home this evening and just collapse on the couch.
Good work everyone on another day
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Heart of Dixie, United States
Posts: 433
Sorry I've missed some time classmates.
Today is another Day 2 for me. I couldn't wait on my new guns to blast the beer, so I chose to pour $35 of craft beer out yesterday morning. In a related note, my favorite beer drinking vessel also cracked in the dishwasher overnight. Coincidence? Or, divine intervention?
Either way, I'll take it.
Looking forward to making the next month of June totally dry. It's my goal.
Today is another Day 2 for me. I couldn't wait on my new guns to blast the beer, so I chose to pour $35 of craft beer out yesterday morning. In a related note, my favorite beer drinking vessel also cracked in the dishwasher overnight. Coincidence? Or, divine intervention?
Either way, I'll take it.
Looking forward to making the next month of June totally dry. It's my goal.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good morning, Class of May! A big honkin' welcome to all new joiners. Wow that we're still actively attracting lovely new cyber buddies this month. Word must be getting out that this is THE class to join. 
Winding down the week here. Today would normally be my pre-trigger Thursday, but it doesn't feel that way as much anymore. The urges are becoming less frequent. I still associate the weekends with drinking, but the conscious effort to not drink pays off well in so many personal rewards.
Just one? What's that mean?
There's no in between.
Not drinking, no way
on this Day 19.
Off to the salt mines, classmates, at least while there is still salt to mine. No word on my continued employment status, yet. Might just be an extra long summer for reflection. And a great time to stop foolin' and start exercising again.
Have a fantastic Thursday, boaters. Back later!
Winding down the week here. Today would normally be my pre-trigger Thursday, but it doesn't feel that way as much anymore. The urges are becoming less frequent. I still associate the weekends with drinking, but the conscious effort to not drink pays off well in so many personal rewards.
Just one? What's that mean?
There's no in between.
Not drinking, no way
on this Day 19.
Off to the salt mines, classmates, at least while there is still salt to mine. No word on my continued employment status, yet. Might just be an extra long summer for reflection. And a great time to stop foolin' and start exercising again.
Have a fantastic Thursday, boaters. Back later!
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Fdm
Looking forward to making the next month of June totally dry. It's my goal.
Here's hoping that you'll please stay posting with us in the Class of May and not jump ship to swim to those upcoming Class of June types... I've heard rumors. This is your class as much as ours and you're a valued, respected member. Keep your chin up, Fdm. We're glad you're here.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today
Welcome back AS
soberjane - I'm sorry you'll be around heavy drinkers so early in your recovery.
Things will feel strange and maybe a little uncomfortable at first but please stick with it - it is possible to live sober even under the most trying of circumstances...the more we live our lives sober the easier it becomes.
we're all behind you
D
Welcome back AS
soberjane - I'm sorry you'll be around heavy drinkers so early in your recovery.
Things will feel strange and maybe a little uncomfortable at first but please stick with it - it is possible to live sober even under the most trying of circumstances...the more we live our lives sober the easier it becomes.
we're all behind you
D
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