ViciousCycle

Morning, morning, morning.

The rain is finally gone! woo hoo!!!!!

GFCO, you will be fine. Things will just be different. Get that boyfriend of yours out working! lol.........seriously, just remember that you are taking care of you and although you made alot of money, at what cost? You deserve better. I am looking for something part-time while my business grows........jobs are scarce but they are there. Don't give up.

How is security at the airports Soph? Does it seem a little stiffer now?

Hang in there Hooped. Stay busy. Are you still going to do that kayak thing? I'll go with ya!

Hi to everyone else.....have a great morning.

ReadyAndAble

lol, maybe it worked too well... Hooped? Hooped?

GFCO, it sure sounds tough, but it won't last and every drink is going to make it little bit tougher. It's the big lie: alcohol only conceals stress for a few hours, but doesn't really relieve it—in fact for me it usually added to it. When I'm feeling really down now, I'm starting to feel consoled by the fact I'm not drinking. Sobriety is one thing that life can't take away from me. You've overcome so much; you can do this too.

Soph, hope you're having a nice trip home.

Have a great day everyone!

Hooped

Benadryl ? Wow.

9 hours sleep last night...best in a long time.

I'd probably still be sleeping now but I was dreaming that I was stuck in my car in a snowstorm and I didn't want to throw my back out so I got up.

Oh yes VC, I'm still going to do that kayak course..as soon as the weather turns a bit nicer. Even though they give you a wetsuit I think its gonna be a lot more fun when it warms up a bit...and you are most welcome to join me... for sure lol.


Another sober day.
Cheers everyone!
(hazlenut flavoured coffee)

BoozeFree

Hooped I started the morning with some hazlenut coffee too! Pretty good stuff.

Well day 3 and going strong so far. Excited to not have class after work today so I can just go home and chill. Hope everyone is doing ok today

And GFCO good luck with the job hunting.

Soph

Hi guys, made it home. Yes VC the lines seem longer and today I did some new thing at LAX where I have to stand in front of a thing and put my arms over my head. I guess it's a scan thing. I don't like the idea of it but I was pretty tired and didn't feel like putting up a fuss.

The cicadas are deafening; it is a shrill buzz you hear all over town. Even whilst you're driving in your car with the windows up you can still hear the faint buzz. It is so bizarre...

MJ I have not heard of that show - will you let us know how it is? I am jonesing for something good to replace my Dexter addiction.

Hi fives to all, you stay classy Decembers.

ViciousCycle

Uh oh Soph........so it's YOU on that Utube! I heard the airport scans were revealing, but holy %$^&! lol.........btw, those bugs would drive me nuts!

I had a very strong wave today to drink....or should I say a real hard thought about justifying it........the weather turning.......time out on the patio.......doesn't a cold one go with that? Ugh........sitting here drinking a diet pepsi........there are too many good things happening right now and I am happy........THAT out weighs those thoughts. Funny, I haven't had any desire until the last week, it must be weather-related.

Have a good night BF........nice to have some down time.

I am having bizarre dreams too Hooped! Sometimes I wake up exhausted!

.....I am going to go play with all the new flowers I just bought.........I love spring!!!!!!!!!!! I will share a pic or two of these really strange ones I got. They remind me of sea sponges or something. (So of course I had to have them...)

Hi to everyone else....have a really good evening and treat yourself to something good.

mygrandfather

I get that too VC, the moment would be so "perfect"... But it won't, we all know that don't we?

Spring is so perfect right now, I must remember this day in August!

Best to everyone, have a great night.

ReadyAndAble

Oh yeah, I can picture a lovely spring evening with a cold beer or glass of wine, and I expect the image will be even stronger come the warm summer nights. But if I pull back the camera a bit, I can just as easily see a unicorn sitting on my couch—that's how likely it is that I'll actually feel great about drinking, or that it will stop with just one. Even if I limit myself that first night, what about the next time? Or the time after that? It stresses me out just thinking about it. So goodbye fantasy beer and wine, hello real-life fruit smoothie. Low fat and mega delicious, with zero percent of my recommended daily amount of anxiety.

Dee74

The thing about the fantasy stuff is...it's nonsense LOL

One, two drinks *never* satisfied me - things were never like I pictured them in my head...I never know when or how to stop....I always ended up in a bad place...sometimes literally...

I have no doubt I'd be exactly the same now. Some things never change.

It is what it is - I've accepted it now

D

BoozeFree

Hi everyone. I had a nice mellow night reading a new book I bought called heroine diaries by Nikki Sixx. It's all his diary entries about his addiction and crazy times, I love Nikki Sixx so I am enjoying the book so far. Knocked out 100pgs and now ready to sleep.

Soph that scan thing at LAX sounds gnarly, I haunt heard about that before.
VC way to go sticking to the diet pepsi. I bought a 36pack of diet pepsi last weekend at Costco.

Dee,MGF,R&A,MJ,GFCO,Hooped,Nota,Better, and everyone else hope you all enjoyed your day! Or good morning to Dee!

mygrandfather

have a great day everyone! Locked away in the basement...somwehere up there a Spring day is starting.

Dee74

They used to look me away in the basement too MG...but I got better LOL



D

Soph

LOL guys!

I agree about those tough evenings and facing up to what's real and what's fantasy. Sometimes it's hard because denial is a cunning and wily pseudo friend. And she has been known to look deep into my eyes and say "you, my dear, are not like those people. You can have just one or two."

It is my relief to now see her for what she is and say "I am me and I want to be a non drinker. Labels be hanged. Go pound sand."

Now then: I have a headache and I daresay it's from traveling and its dehydrating effects. Coffee, water, fruit for me this morning!

Have a great day, folks!

ViciousCycle

Maybe this time of year is a time we should hang together just a bit tighter. I really, really thought about it last night..........today I am so happy I did not.
That birthday deal is coming up with that trip to the luxury cabins. I best call and order that sparkling cider, ha? I know in my heart I will enjoy it so much more without drinking......I know me, after the champagne, what would be next? Only one bottle of champagne? I don't know about you guys, but I could sip on mimosas all day long!

Well guys, I need to get going. Have a great morning. I have another job today! Woo hoo! They are slowly trickling in..........



That said, I reflect on what R&A brings up alot. The stress and anxiety that goes along with drinking. I am very much that person too. I choose not to bring anxiety back into the picture. I will spend my birthday in peace, not wondering if I have enough wine to last the day........I will relax and be healthy.

that's a great way to put it R&A.



GFCO, you are quiet, are you doing ok?

Later all.

Soph

From an excellent book called "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" by Gabor Mate..

(He mentions his ADD and how sometimes he begins something only to abandon it, then he writes this) - <<" I've tried that," I'll often say, "but it doesn't work for me." That attitude is typical of self-recovery practices in addiction, since, by definition, addiction is characterized by relapses. I have to get that there is no "it" to work or not work. "It" doesn't have to work. I am the one who has to work. And what is commitment? Commitment is sticking with something not because "it works" or because I enjoy it, but because I have an intention that overrides momentary feelings or opinions. >>

BF and everyone, this is why I have to attend meetings. Do I want to? No. Do I need to? Yes.

Maryjan

I agree, Soph, the meetings really do remind you what's at stake...and how idiotic it would be to listen to the fantasies. Today, someone at AA made me cry with a story about his young son saying, "Thank you for being nice to me now, Dad..." a kid who had never said how much his drinking dad disappointed him. The guy said, "And that's why I'm sober today.". Wow. Why are you guys sober today?

So I have some news...it's too early to even tell my "real-life" friends, becuase anything could happen, but I just found out I am pregnant. We are very excited...and scared. But I am not sober today becuase of that. I am sober because I want to be present for my life...to feel everything and enjoy everything and live without fermented grape juice clouding my vision.

However, that does explain my NYC tapeworm...and the lasagne I'm having for breakfast!

Maryjan

Also, I just joined this group...mainly parents who are trying to stay spber, for any of you who are interested...

*Booze_free_brigade : Booze-free Brigade

ViciousCycle

YAY MJ! Congrats! And what a great excuse to eat!!!!!!!!!

Maryjan

I agree! Sorry for my awful spelling above!

Soph

Mazel Tov MJ