Class of April 2010 - Part 3
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Playing my bass through my little amp is something I've just gotten back into - hope it helps you as much as it helps me Cleansing.
I still tend to spend a lot of time in my own head if I'm not careful - it's not always the best place to be. I find I have to take a leap of faith every so often and open up to someone - doesn't have to be a big thing - just a connection you know?
Helps keep me in perspective.
D
I still tend to spend a lot of time in my own head if I'm not careful - it's not always the best place to be. I find I have to take a leap of faith every so often and open up to someone - doesn't have to be a big thing - just a connection you know?
Helps keep me in perspective.
D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Congrats on your job advancement AG - and yeah I've had euphoric moments...it's a bit of a spin-out the first couple of times....I dunno about you but I almost felt guilty feeling that way.
I got used to it tho LOL
D
D
I got used to it tho LOL
D
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Cleansing,
That was "sooner than later" !! How did you find that amp so fast !?!
" I do think it feels incredibly liberating to forgive people, when we can." ...American Girl
...just thinking about how much I totally agree with that. ^
thinking about the process. do I accept deep-down that, in the end, it's ultimately soley for my benefit ? weighing the options; to forgive a person who has harmed me, or. not.
seems selfish, but in a good way.
instead of my old way of thinking, ....consumed with just how unfair life can be.
One thing I truly hang onto nowadays is the belief that we can be resilient beyond imagination....... And we can learn ways to avoid becoming extremely unhappy (or worse)
Dee, I was carrying around a beef with a dude in our support group, until just this am.
(for what exactly ?, ..I'd forgotten,) but when I called him to talk about a medical decision I'm faced with, ...and starting to cause more than a little anxiety; he was a great help really. The guy was a college jock and later, smuggler/addict, and a professional house painter.
.....so we had at least two things in common !?!
This year is the first time I've ever had access to healthcare, because of job related insurance, and a couple weeks ago; an orthapedic surgeon gave me a couple options to help with a really old damaged knee. Since I don't know (or ever wanted to know) anything about harvesting ACL tendons from cadavers or the likelyhood of being wheelchair bound at 80 because of complications associated with 2nd and 3rd knee replacements because they only "last" 12 years.
It was more than a little disconcerting when he answered my question (after he saw the MRI images ) about my ACL he felt initially was damaged ..."oh, it's gone, it's been gone a long time"
Anyway, I've got to get to another competent surgeon pretty quick because my $3500. deductible is already paid this year from that earlier surgery, and I can't procrastinate with December just around the corner. Time to pull the proverbial "head out the sand"
Grateful to be sober, ....absolutely none of these options available without it !
AG, ....That's great news about your job !! Woo hoo
You keep up the workouts, and come on over to the "kickin asphalt" fitness thread sometime. It's a cool, fun, motivated group. "come and go as ya please" thing.
I'm convinced, of course, of your connection; sobriety+fitness=occasional euphoria
sweeeet!
That was "sooner than later" !! How did you find that amp so fast !?!
" I do think it feels incredibly liberating to forgive people, when we can." ...American Girl
...just thinking about how much I totally agree with that. ^
thinking about the process. do I accept deep-down that, in the end, it's ultimately soley for my benefit ? weighing the options; to forgive a person who has harmed me, or. not.
seems selfish, but in a good way.
instead of my old way of thinking, ....consumed with just how unfair life can be.
One thing I truly hang onto nowadays is the belief that we can be resilient beyond imagination....... And we can learn ways to avoid becoming extremely unhappy (or worse)
Dee, I was carrying around a beef with a dude in our support group, until just this am.
(for what exactly ?, ..I'd forgotten,) but when I called him to talk about a medical decision I'm faced with, ...and starting to cause more than a little anxiety; he was a great help really. The guy was a college jock and later, smuggler/addict, and a professional house painter.
.....so we had at least two things in common !?!
This year is the first time I've ever had access to healthcare, because of job related insurance, and a couple weeks ago; an orthapedic surgeon gave me a couple options to help with a really old damaged knee. Since I don't know (or ever wanted to know) anything about harvesting ACL tendons from cadavers or the likelyhood of being wheelchair bound at 80 because of complications associated with 2nd and 3rd knee replacements because they only "last" 12 years.
It was more than a little disconcerting when he answered my question (after he saw the MRI images ) about my ACL he felt initially was damaged ..."oh, it's gone, it's been gone a long time"
Anyway, I've got to get to another competent surgeon pretty quick because my $3500. deductible is already paid this year from that earlier surgery, and I can't procrastinate with December just around the corner. Time to pull the proverbial "head out the sand"
Grateful to be sober, ....absolutely none of these options available without it !
AG, ....That's great news about your job !! Woo hoo
You keep up the workouts, and come on over to the "kickin asphalt" fitness thread sometime. It's a cool, fun, motivated group. "come and go as ya please" thing.
I'm convinced, of course, of your connection; sobriety+fitness=occasional euphoria
sweeeet!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Nice to see the updates all!
AG - congrats on the job news Kinda funny that I too get a little worried when I feel really good too. I safeguard my sobriety and sometimes I am bit vigilant beyond with myself. Thats just me though.
TS - glad to see you are able now to get the doctors. I definitely agree to make the push since that deductible is paid. Come next year its start all over again. Hopefully you can get some definitive answers on your knee situation. I have a bum knee myself so I completely relate
Cleansing - I am happy things are coming along with your treatment. I can't express enough in all of my experience that we must be our own advocates when it comes to our health. I know here I had a hard time when I admitted and sought treatment for drinking. Seems like I had a lot of running around in circles but I kept pushing, etc. and finally I was able to get counseling. Well done.
Have a great week!
AG - congrats on the job news
Kinda funny that I too get a little worried when I feel really good too. I safeguard my sobriety and sometimes I am bit vigilant beyond with myself. Thats just me though.TS - glad to see you are able now to get the doctors. I definitely agree to make the push since that deductible is paid. Come next year its start all over again. Hopefully you can get some definitive answers on your knee situation. I have a bum knee myself so I completely relate
Cleansing - I am happy things are coming along with your treatment. I can't express enough in all of my experience that we must be our own advocates when it comes to our health. I know here I had a hard time when I admitted and sought treatment for drinking. Seems like I had a lot of running around in circles but I kept pushing, etc. and finally I was able to get counseling. Well done.
Have a great week!
Wandering Student of Life
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: MSP MN
Posts: 126
Hi guize 
It's been a long, long time since I posted, but I found my way back! When I have more than a minute, I'll have to read through the past few weeks and see how everyone is doing.
I'm still sober - over six months - and have really started to feel the ups and downs of life again full on. Sometimes amazing, sometimes awful.
Take care everyone, and blessed be!
Whitewave
It's been a long, long time since I posted, but I found my way back! When I have more than a minute, I'll have to read through the past few weeks and see how everyone is doing.
I'm still sober - over six months - and have really started to feel the ups and downs of life again full on. Sometimes amazing, sometimes awful.
Take care everyone, and blessed be!
Whitewave
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
WW I am so glad to see your post!!! I have missed you and again you are another great example of how sometimes we move on in our lives, etc. but still remain strong in our recovery.
Huggs and hope to see more of you - when you have the time of course.
You were a tremendous supporter of me in the very beginning and till this day I still remember your kind words when i was going through my anxiety issues. I now have over 6 months too and I want to say Thank You my friend. I am here for you.... Huggs.
Huggs and hope to see more of you - when you have the time of course.
You were a tremendous supporter of me in the very beginning and till this day I still remember your kind words when i was going through my anxiety issues. I now have over 6 months too and I want to say Thank You my friend. I am here for you.... Huggs.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Hey guys,
Driving to work tonight, after some labor earlier, carpentry and exterior painting; I had this calm sort of mystical experience seeing the beautiful cloud formations as the sun was setting. A few moments of almost overwhelming serenity.
....... subtle gifts of sobriety are soooo amazing
Driving to work tonight, after some labor earlier, carpentry and exterior painting; I had this calm sort of mystical experience seeing the beautiful cloud formations as the sun was setting. A few moments of almost overwhelming serenity.
....... subtle gifts of sobriety are soooo amazing
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Is good to hear from you WW! Awesome...glad you are doin well.
This Thread got busy there...I had a hard time keepin up with it. Dee are you changin up your Avatar theme now? I was diggin the Halloween (I perceived it as Halloween anyway) ones...now I'm not sure it is you.
Top...good to read about that serenity.
Hope everyone is well.
This Thread got busy there...I had a hard time keepin up with it. Dee are you changin up your Avatar theme now? I was diggin the Halloween (I perceived it as Halloween anyway) ones...now I'm not sure it is you.
Top...good to read about that serenity.
Hope everyone is well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Huggs Ghost....I think I take the dummy award most of the time though....hehe.
Today is Remembrance Day for many countries and of course for us U.S. folks it is Veterans Day.
Much reflecting on many things but today I think of those who sacrificed and have served our great country. To all of these selfless men and women and all of those who continue to serve - Thank You.
Today is Remembrance Day for many countries and of course for us U.S. folks it is Veterans Day.
Much reflecting on many things but today I think of those who sacrificed and have served our great country. To all of these selfless men and women and all of those who continue to serve - Thank You.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 393
Frustrated/over this
I wake up every morning anxious. it's been this way for about 4 months.
Could be psych meds (an odd side effect?), maybe too much coffee previous day (some people have a weird sensitivity with long lasting withdrawal), then maybe i was just unfocused (so i starting reading daily mediations, and praying).
nothing seems to help enough, but it has gotten better. within an hour of waking up, i go outside play my music, and let out the frustration. i walk hard, bang my head hard, and just enjoy the air out outside. i guess a combo of writing and moving around helps.
I'm learning that a lot of my using had to do with self medication, and self prescribing stuff. So i can't think too much about what is causing these morning discomforts. I'm no doctor.
I have a psychiatrist who i just have to be wait my turn for my appointment.
i am seeing the ears nose and throat doctor on Monday and hopefully i can do a allergy test, because between the earaches, throat itchiness, anger, anxiety, maybe there's a food allergy? medication allergy?
But that's for them to help me find out what's going on, and in time, i hope to get some answers so I'm not all over the place wondering what's wrong with me. I've been told in the past i am bipolar, been told i'm schizophrenic. And so of of curse, i listen to these doctors nowadays, then they disappear out of my life, and i am left without help always wondering if there is something wrong with me. it's like i get an official "crazy" stamp from these doctors, then they move on to a better job, and i'm left to cope with my "new" disease, and all the denial and confusion i create from these labels.
What's good about today
The weather is beautiful today, and it will be that way tomorrow as well. going to stick with people in recovery only, and enjoy these last great days (weather wise) in NYC. Do not want to spend money, so i'll stay in the Bronx, walk around a lot, and pack some food to go. Maybe stop by a cafe or library and catch up on my readings and notes.
i feel good now, the morning has ended, and i am ready to head to my home group, and then maybe another meeting in the nighttime. Hopefully i can finally fix my computer and have one to use on a regular basis by Sunday. Who knows?
God is good, i woke up today, and now am able to shower, walk out the house, and live. It is not like that everyday for many people around the world. it wasn't like that for me plenty of times. Last week, i walked down this ONe block, and saw so many men using, it was noon. they were blasted. I can complain how i am stressed, upset, anxious, broke, looking for an apartment; but at least i get to move and discover something rather than being stuck on a block most of the day, just being drunk. because that's the alternative for me.
as for the amp, and finding it so fast. a lot of my friends played music in the past, but we no longer get into it anymore,. So we lend each other stuff all the time, and we share everything, so there always seems to be stuff around lol. so i can get support from people not in recovery as well. help can come in all forms.
thank you all for keeping this thread a live.
I wake up every morning anxious. it's been this way for about 4 months.
Could be psych meds (an odd side effect?), maybe too much coffee previous day (some people have a weird sensitivity with long lasting withdrawal), then maybe i was just unfocused (so i starting reading daily mediations, and praying).
nothing seems to help enough, but it has gotten better. within an hour of waking up, i go outside play my music, and let out the frustration. i walk hard, bang my head hard, and just enjoy the air out outside. i guess a combo of writing and moving around helps.
I'm learning that a lot of my using had to do with self medication, and self prescribing stuff. So i can't think too much about what is causing these morning discomforts. I'm no doctor.
I have a psychiatrist who i just have to be wait my turn for my appointment.
i am seeing the ears nose and throat doctor on Monday and hopefully i can do a allergy test, because between the earaches, throat itchiness, anger, anxiety, maybe there's a food allergy? medication allergy?
But that's for them to help me find out what's going on, and in time, i hope to get some answers so I'm not all over the place wondering what's wrong with me. I've been told in the past i am bipolar, been told i'm schizophrenic. And so of of curse, i listen to these doctors nowadays, then they disappear out of my life, and i am left without help always wondering if there is something wrong with me. it's like i get an official "crazy" stamp from these doctors, then they move on to a better job, and i'm left to cope with my "new" disease, and all the denial and confusion i create from these labels.
What's good about today
The weather is beautiful today, and it will be that way tomorrow as well. going to stick with people in recovery only, and enjoy these last great days (weather wise) in NYC. Do not want to spend money, so i'll stay in the Bronx, walk around a lot, and pack some food to go. Maybe stop by a cafe or library and catch up on my readings and notes.
i feel good now, the morning has ended, and i am ready to head to my home group, and then maybe another meeting in the nighttime. Hopefully i can finally fix my computer and have one to use on a regular basis by Sunday. Who knows?
God is good, i woke up today, and now am able to shower, walk out the house, and live. It is not like that everyday for many people around the world. it wasn't like that for me plenty of times. Last week, i walked down this ONe block, and saw so many men using, it was noon. they were blasted. I can complain how i am stressed, upset, anxious, broke, looking for an apartment; but at least i get to move and discover something rather than being stuck on a block most of the day, just being drunk. because that's the alternative for me.
as for the amp, and finding it so fast. a lot of my friends played music in the past, but we no longer get into it anymore,. So we lend each other stuff all the time, and we share everything, so there always seems to be stuff around lol. so i can get support from people not in recovery as well. help can come in all forms.
thank you all for keeping this thread a live.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hi all
Cleansing - it is important to look on the bright side, you are doing well!
White Wave - good to see you :ghug3
I too am glad this thread is still going. Before we know it, it will be April again and we will have a year under our belts... and Dee will have ..., how many will you have Dee? :rotfxko
Anyway, i know, i know... don't look too far into the future. I know it is still a daily journey but it is nice to look forward a little bit. Seems like ages ago now but that wasn't something I did... ever.
Glad we are all here together and sober
Cleansing - it is important to look on the bright side, you are doing well!
White Wave - good to see you :ghug3
I too am glad this thread is still going. Before we know it, it will be April again and we will have a year under our belts... and Dee will have ..., how many will you have Dee? :rotfxko
Anyway, i know, i know... don't look too far into the future. I know it is still a daily journey but it is nice to look forward a little bit. Seems like ages ago now but that wasn't something I did... ever.
Glad we are all here together and sober
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Cleansing -- you mention walking around the city in your post as one of the "what's good" elements and I think it's great you can concentrate on that. What I love about cities, and NY in particular, is how you can walk around and see different things on every block, at every time of day . . it's constantly evolving . . and if you get sick of one section you can always hop on a train with your metrocard, get out somewhere random and try a new place. Truly you are lucky to have that walking exploration thing going for you. I like to walk around too to get some exercise and clear my head . . .but where I live now, the scenery is not quite as exciting as yours!
This month is going by pretty quickly. Leading up to six months I got a bit caught up in counting the days again, but now it's almost seven months without even thinking about it. I never thought that would happen! Such a difference between this and counting each day earlier on . . .
I feel so much more in touch with life now than I did before I quit, as far as being aware of what happened last month, two months ago, several months ago. When I was in college, before I started drinking heavily, I went through a period of smoking pot daily and heavily for several months, and when I got out of that, I felt like those months had all been a blur. I never thought it would be the same with drinking. . .and though it's not quite as hazy as that period was, it still is remarkable how much clearer the days are now.
Hope everyone has a good evening.
This month is going by pretty quickly. Leading up to six months I got a bit caught up in counting the days again, but now it's almost seven months without even thinking about it. I never thought that would happen! Such a difference between this and counting each day earlier on . . .
I feel so much more in touch with life now than I did before I quit, as far as being aware of what happened last month, two months ago, several months ago. When I was in college, before I started drinking heavily, I went through a period of smoking pot daily and heavily for several months, and when I got out of that, I felt like those months had all been a blur. I never thought it would be the same with drinking. . .and though it's not quite as hazy as that period was, it still is remarkable how much clearer the days are now.
Hope everyone has a good evening.
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