Class of April 2010 - Part 3
 

Carry on gang - your progress is inspiring :a122:
Last part here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-20.html

D

:tyou.... Dee for starting a fresh page.

I agree....our Apriler's are an amazing group
of non drinkers....:cheer

Thanks guys for the new thread. I am here and sober. Having a rough day but it is part of the challenges we face in sobriety. Dealing with old scenarios a new way.

I posted in the newbies as so many have reached out to me who are not part of my Aprillers and I thought WTH....Let me share out there so anyone new to sobriety can see that sobriety is about work and that it is ok not to have a perfect day.

I know when I relapsed that I felt like a total fraud. Like how can I show my face on SR or anywheres again. The mindset that you need to get it right the first time. I have learned that relapse may happen and while we are responsible for choosing to pick up that drink that we also are responsible for getting help.

The choice to relapse is mine and mine alone. No one forces me to booze and I am looking at this rather eery time as one that I will survive and come out feeling even stronger.

I believe that I have to face these challenges to truly get sober. I have to face my demons and handle all these funky scenarios. What I don't have to do is handle them completely alone.

Thanks Aprillers!!! Y'all can read the other thread and this particular challenge is the one that hits closest to home.

Keep it going friends.

Woo Class of April thread 3!

Kim, I read your other post. I'm thinking of you during this anxious time. Keep up the good work with breathing techniques & try some other relaxation methods too, maybe? You can do this.

Me too UBC. I hope they pop up soon. I've been sad about seeing people come and go with this site in general, but I try not to let it get to me . . .

Since my last post have come down with a bad cold. Hard for me to deal with being sick.

Day 106
 

Alcohol took away the continuous discomfort of things, as if downing a beer or four removed a pebble from the shoe of life. I would feel content for a change. Of course, it doesn't last, and then I find I'm drinking to avoid feeling MORE uncomfortable; I am afraid not to drink, I suppose. Still, the allure of that feeling of "rest" from the unending labor of just being, can be quite acutely tempting. It's often a battle between what I feel, and what I know.

Rev

Guys I am here and feeling ok again. Not great/not bad just grateful that I am sober. I saw firsthand how being sober changed my perception of everything yesterday. I could see clearly.

Rev - yesterday I just felt a second that feeling of nothing that comes with drinking. I also quickly remembered how I destroyed myself and my life for 10 years because of the continuous - just one drink. I stopped doing, stopped living and just wasted space. Hang tight friend.

Yesterday was the first time I thought of doing what I know best - numbing the pain. It is a habit, a ritual and sure as hell takes more then 3 clean months to remove 10 years of behavior.

Keep steady and stay the course guys. Share share share. You know I am on this thing quite often and I am following each and every Apriller. I am right here with you even if you can't see my little face....which maybe a good thing since I pick my nose. Hey...when all else fails laugh at it. It has gotten me through some rough times.

Rev, I think this is pure poetry: "as if downing a beer or four removed a pebble from the shoe of life." Just gorgeous. Only I would hasten to add that perhaps it made me ignore the pebbles in the shoe of life . . . only to wake up with horribly calloused and bunioned feet.

Kim, I now envision you perpetually picking your nose. Sorry. :lmao

UBC, interesting that you bring up the oil spill. Although obviously the oil spill is a much much bigger thing than anything in my individual personhood/existence, I have definitely also watched it with metaphysical curiosity due to the proximity of the spill w/our sobriety dates.

I made it to 100 days today! (Now to count months! :) ) There are a bunch of newcomers today, it seems, and I want to write another post for them too but am still really sick with this cold. So, I guess 100 days didn't turn me into superwoman, ha! But I have never once regretted this decision and am simply amazed & grateful to be here.:dance8:

A Girl, Woo Hoo on the 100 days !!
Those summer colds can be ruthless; .....I've made the mistake in the past (for some dumb reason ) thinking I don't really need to take it easy for several days, ...since the symptoms would seem to temporarily disappear daily ; ...only to persist another day. Treat it like a winter cold if ya can !!

Kim, you had me going the other day when I ( first ) began reading your thread from Feb that ended with a very inspirational message to the newest newcomers. Coming out of the other side of some of these challenges in early sobriety will only strengthen our program of recovery, ....whichever methods we decide to employ. Hopefull, the anxiety associated with the first few weeks of deployment will start to ease soon; ...hang tough. You have more tools (and experience )now than ever before .

Rev, I used to trade the market daily for 9 years, back in the 90's and finally eased up a little with it sometime in 07. You have my thoughts with you everyday, since I still follow the financial markets , but, now , at more of a distance. Like most every worthwhile experience, I have never regretted what I learned, not only about investing, but more importantly, about myself. I would never say '"good luck " ; because luck really has nothing to do with it. It takes a certain type of mentality to get that close to the market, ....and remain passionate about it for a lifetime.

UBC, I need to learn a thing or two about meditation . It sounds like it would be helpful for a Secular Humanist. I fool around with some homegrown ideas of "primal nirvana" ....a sort of thought-free state of mind that I rarely experience when I'm distance running or distance cycling. It sounds kind of ridiculous in print, but I'm trying to achieve the nonverbal mindset of what I percieve, say; ...a wild dog (wolf ) would have, on a long hunt. So, ( I'm sure ) it'll never be a popular idea, in our egocentric societies going forward. LOL .....just something that relieves some anxiety for me !

Maybe , I should pay a little closer attention to my thoughts on the bike. LO
Two crashes in two months ! Glad to be sober dealing with this shoulder injury.

Taking it one day at a time.

You Aprillers help me every week.

Grateful (and sore ) tonight in Carolina.


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I hate it when I type something then lose it!! :e076:

Not gounna retype it all - Here is an abbreviated version...AG awesome on 100 days. Triple digits...SWEET!

Kim you are being tested yet seem really prepared. Wish you the best!

UBC...Disco biscuits? Chemical warfare brigade? You are an interesting person and write some interesting things. Sometimes I think I need to meditate more to understand you tho :c043:. I mean that in a nice funny way!!

Your training is inspiring topspin. Keep it up and hope your shoulder gets better. Stop crashing into things :Sportrac:.

Rev you write some great things. Fairly depressing but very relevant. Hang in there bud.

Congrats on your 100 days, AG! Those innocent days of double-digit sobriety are over; make way for triples!

I will probably be telling people in 20 years that I have been sober for 7413 days. LOL

Rev

Always good to catch up with you guys and see your progress :You_Rock_
and congrats to you AG!

I just count in years now Rev - it's easier on me...and everyone else :lmao

D

Hi Aprillers! I spent some time catching up on all the posts I've missed. Vacation went well, I'm still sober (91 days now). I envy you all with triple digits, can hardly wait til I can say I'm in the triples too! (And I'm anxiously waiting to get past the 6 month mark, it was around that time I relapsed last time.)

The husband goes underway again tomorrow, he'll be back in October. I'm hoping me and the kids get back in the swing of things without him around fairly smoothly.

I appreciate all your posts, it's very comforting to see the thoughts I have written out by others and knowing that we share so many of these thoughts, struggles, and concerns. BTW, Dee, your signature gave me a giggle this morning, too cute!