Class of April 2010 - Part 3
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
Sorry for the brevity but I'm not at my best today - my advice is take everything gently UBC - if I've learned anything, it's that noone outside can really fix my insides...that's my job.
D
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Today, I was thinking about some of the challenges we'll go through these next few years. Mostly, thinking about some of the things y'all write in these posts; ...
UBC, I'm the last person to recomend anything about relationships, but what AG and you spoke of; ...... taking "it slowly" sounds like a pretty good idea. Whenever you've decided you have met the "right person".
Here I could write a novella about my experience and the reasons I decided to marry when I did at 38, but it's just so complicated for me to really understand, even today.
My biggest mistake was rushing into it, though.
Kim, you are so fortunate to have some solid counseling.
........." What I found is that counseling is about helping me set goals and working towards them. It helps me get a plan in place so because like many....I got sober but didn't know next steps. Counseling is place I can share experiences that I am going through and we discuss how I handled them. Its helped me get in touch with learning to feel again. I was literally panicked if I got sad, upset, etc. Years of drinking twisted the way I viewed things. For me counseling helps me be a better person.....I need guidance and no one personally is going to cross that line with me and give me the real deal. Plus like you....I needed direction to help me get going in this new life."
I had totally lost my mouring the last years of my drinking, and I've accepted it's going to take some time to make the necessary steps to define and persue the more important worthwhile goals I envision. Just getting some clarity on the "defining" part seems to be my biggest challenge right now.
Leaving home at 17, it was a struggle early on to support myself. I always had high expectations, but never the tools to achieve (or set ) many goals, other than short-term things. My Dad always had me doing some free construction/landscaping work, so I was lucky in a way; to have some basic skills. And I had one summers experience selling encyclopedias door to door. That was a little like a Flannery O'Connor story !?! lo
Must've contracted my first residential painting job at 15, but had always found a few ways to make money as a kid. The usual stuff, collecting refundable bottles, raking lawns, sneaking out to lagoons on a golf course at night and wading for balls to sell on the weekends. Never saved a damn dime though.
At 20, started designing and building leaded glass windows to pay for college tuition,.....work 6 months , go to school 2 quarters, repeat, until one year it occurred to me I really just wanted to work with leaded glass anyway. The whole self employed 'starving artist" thing came natural. Never saved a damn dime though.
I think I never was able to look at "money" as anything more than a means to an end; to buy this or that;...... "party", .....having fun with GF, buy dope, gas, booze, beer, pay rent , bills, on and on, etc
..money was never just an end in itself.
Anyway, since I never dreamed of wealth, and only dreamed of a simple life of freedom, I thought I was headed in the right direction operating a one-man glass studio. Years later, and finally clean and sober at 32 was I able to finally concieve of money as something other than a means to an end.
I learned that folks "invested" in themselves first and foremost (college degrees, technical skills, and like Thoreau speaks of :
".....to subdue and cultivate a few cubic feet of flesh." (and go forward from there )
I need to revisit my earlier notions of SIMPLICITY
That's one of the greatest gifts sobriety can afford me, if only I'll take it.
Y'all give me plenty to think about, while I've been doing a little painting on the shop from time to time. You make this a pretty cool journey.
UBC, I'm the last person to recomend anything about relationships, but what AG and you spoke of; ...... taking "it slowly" sounds like a pretty good idea. Whenever you've decided you have met the "right person".
Here I could write a novella about my experience and the reasons I decided to marry when I did at 38, but it's just so complicated for me to really understand, even today.
My biggest mistake was rushing into it, though.
Kim, you are so fortunate to have some solid counseling.
........." What I found is that counseling is about helping me set goals and working towards them. It helps me get a plan in place so because like many....I got sober but didn't know next steps. Counseling is place I can share experiences that I am going through and we discuss how I handled them. Its helped me get in touch with learning to feel again. I was literally panicked if I got sad, upset, etc. Years of drinking twisted the way I viewed things. For me counseling helps me be a better person.....I need guidance and no one personally is going to cross that line with me and give me the real deal. Plus like you....I needed direction to help me get going in this new life."
I had totally lost my mouring the last years of my drinking, and I've accepted it's going to take some time to make the necessary steps to define and persue the more important worthwhile goals I envision. Just getting some clarity on the "defining" part seems to be my biggest challenge right now.
Leaving home at 17, it was a struggle early on to support myself. I always had high expectations, but never the tools to achieve (or set ) many goals, other than short-term things. My Dad always had me doing some free construction/landscaping work, so I was lucky in a way; to have some basic skills. And I had one summers experience selling encyclopedias door to door. That was a little like a Flannery O'Connor story !?! lo
Must've contracted my first residential painting job at 15, but had always found a few ways to make money as a kid. The usual stuff, collecting refundable bottles, raking lawns, sneaking out to lagoons on a golf course at night and wading for balls to sell on the weekends. Never saved a damn dime though.
At 20, started designing and building leaded glass windows to pay for college tuition,.....work 6 months , go to school 2 quarters, repeat, until one year it occurred to me I really just wanted to work with leaded glass anyway. The whole self employed 'starving artist" thing came natural. Never saved a damn dime though.
I think I never was able to look at "money" as anything more than a means to an end; to buy this or that;...... "party", .....having fun with GF, buy dope, gas, booze, beer, pay rent , bills, on and on, etc
..money was never just an end in itself.
Anyway, since I never dreamed of wealth, and only dreamed of a simple life of freedom, I thought I was headed in the right direction operating a one-man glass studio. Years later, and finally clean and sober at 32 was I able to finally concieve of money as something other than a means to an end.
I learned that folks "invested" in themselves first and foremost (college degrees, technical skills, and like Thoreau speaks of :
".....to subdue and cultivate a few cubic feet of flesh." (and go forward from there )
I need to revisit my earlier notions of SIMPLICITY
That's one of the greatest gifts sobriety can afford me, if only I'll take it.
Y'all give me plenty to think about, while I've been doing a little painting on the shop from time to time. You make this a pretty cool journey.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Reading these posts tonight makes me think that were kind of like characters in a Stephen King Novel. Not sure how many of you have read any of his books...but frequently there is a similar theme. In many of his books characters that have never met, end up meeting, and they have a unique bond that is relevant to the story.
That's how I feel with you all. I imagine sitting around a camp fire at night, telling our stories.
That's how I feel with you all. I imagine sitting around a camp fire at night, telling our stories.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
Great Ghost - I'll be that guy who just has to go and wander the spooky woods looking for a place to pee and ends up being dragged off into the undergrowth... 
Seriously tho I love Stephen King and I know exactly what you mean
D
Seriously tho I love Stephen King and I know exactly what you mean
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hey gang
A bit of an emotional week for one reason and another. Nothing too serious, just letting go of a situation that has the potential to turn into a major drama! Still, the amazing thing is that these days I don't even think of having a drink to cope with it. The first thing that comes to my mind now is "i need to get to the gym".
Each day, I like myself a little more, I need to try and disregard how others perceive me. It is not up to me to impress people, I yam what I yam.... Take me or leave me.
Oh, this sounds a bit sad...let's lighten this up....
One of my students said to me today "Miss, you are cool... you don't look a day over 18".... LMAO. It is so not true but was an adorable thing to say.
A bit of an emotional week for one reason and another. Nothing too serious, just letting go of a situation that has the potential to turn into a major drama! Still, the amazing thing is that these days I don't even think of having a drink to cope with it. The first thing that comes to my mind now is "i need to get to the gym".
Each day, I like myself a little more, I need to try and disregard how others perceive me. It is not up to me to impress people, I yam what I yam.... Take me or leave me.
Oh, this sounds a bit sad...let's lighten this up....
One of my students said to me today "Miss, you are cool... you don't look a day over 18".... LMAO. It is so not true but was an adorable thing to say.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi all. Thanks for the six months props! I had a good day on the 6th month mark. Took it easier than I'd expected but that's what I wanted the day of . . .so that's what I went for!
Oz, like the positive attitude.
Had a really nice conversation with a friend yesterday about life and she gave such helpful/thoughtful advice & asked me the right questions. It seems rare that we do this in daily life, face to face . . . which is all the more reason I am glad to have you guys here. Ghostly, LOL at the Stephen King idea & Dee at your "role" too. Not sure what role I would take. Kathy Bates? This is the part where I lure all of you into my spare bedroom and force you to tailor your SR posts to my liking . . .
Oz, like the positive attitude.
Had a really nice conversation with a friend yesterday about life and she gave such helpful/thoughtful advice & asked me the right questions. It seems rare that we do this in daily life, face to face . . . which is all the more reason I am glad to have you guys here. Ghostly, LOL at the Stephen King idea & Dee at your "role" too. Not sure what role I would take. Kathy Bates? This is the part where I lure all of you into my spare bedroom and force you to tailor your SR posts to my liking . . .
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Well thanks to infinite wisdom of Ghost.......I will now look at the Aprillers as though it is a scene out of the Langoliers. OMG.....how fitting too! All of us somehow brought together and through our differences and perhaps wildly different lives - we come together here joined in arms....
I love Stephen King and all is works and to add more a recovering addict and alcoholic. Quite some food for thought here
I love Stephen King and all is works and to add more a recovering addict and alcoholic. Quite some food for thought here
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
First...gotta say, Dee you are off with Oz's age. She has to be at least...21 years old. I call her the yamster. That's awesome you'd take us captive and force us to write SR Posts you like! Leave my ankles alone though please!
AG that movie cover is awesome! Funny. Oh yeah...Dee, love all the new avatars. Of course I like the Halloween inspired one you have now the best! That's me tho.
Kim - Glad the Stephen King comment got ya inspired...and you can relate to it. You totally got it...strangers that meet with a bond, even with their differences.
Cool to me how so many of you could relate to the King Novels.
Thanks for the lyrics UBC...Those were interesting...kinda cute.
AG that movie cover is awesome! Funny. Oh yeah...Dee, love all the new avatars. Of course I like the Halloween inspired one you have now the best! That's me tho.
Kim - Glad the Stephen King comment got ya inspired...and you can relate to it. You totally got it...strangers that meet with a bond, even with their differences.
Cool to me how so many of you could relate to the King Novels.
Thanks for the lyrics UBC...Those were interesting...kinda cute.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I don't know what to think now because AG has me now envisioning Grover every time Dee posts....uhoh....LOL.
AG....you scare me now with the Misery flashback....LOL. Love Kathy Bates man...she is awesome and that scene with her putting the block between James Caan's ankles just send ewwwy quivers.....eeeek~~
I love how we flow here.....we just vibe off each other. Good stuff!!
AG....you scare me now with the Misery flashback....LOL. Love Kathy Bates man...she is awesome and that scene with her putting the block between James Caan's ankles just send ewwwy quivers.....eeeek~~
I love how we flow here.....we just vibe off each other. Good stuff!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hey all...
Just wanted to pop in to say that although our journey of sobriety is a very personal one, it is still wise for us to remember that others can have an affect on our sobriety.
This week has seen me go from a very negative place (at beginning of week) to a very positive place (at end of week) all because of the people I chose and now choose to have in my life. It has taught me a very big lesson, to choose these people as wisely as possible and to know when it is time to say enough.
TGIF....looking forward to the Friday night SR meeting and another sober weekend.
Hope you are all well, and surrounded by positiveness
Just wanted to pop in to say that although our journey of sobriety is a very personal one, it is still wise for us to remember that others can have an affect on our sobriety.
This week has seen me go from a very negative place (at beginning of week) to a very positive place (at end of week) all because of the people I chose and now choose to have in my life. It has taught me a very big lesson, to choose these people as wisely as possible and to know when it is time to say enough.
TGIF....looking forward to the Friday night SR meeting and another sober weekend.
Hope you are all well, and surrounded by positiveness
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 393
The past, I'm learning, may never be forgotten completely. I guess we can't let it drag us down, but there are things to learn from it.
From January - April of 2010, it seemed like drinking and drugging didn't do a good job at repressing much to be honest. the feelings, fears, and memories still hit at one point.
i don't know about anyone else, but at six months im not ready to make ammends yet. I guess for those who are truly important and loving, seeing me get better is an ok apology for now.
Llooking forward to this weekend, but not too much, i know how plans changes. i'm getting into the habit of making a plan b and c nowadays so im not left with a full day free and alone.
heading to Brooklyn on Saturday for an anniversary (NA), and maybe see my Grandma.
Sunday is church, AA meeting, and a football game my younger cousin is playing in.
From January - April of 2010, it seemed like drinking and drugging didn't do a good job at repressing much to be honest. the feelings, fears, and memories still hit at one point.
i don't know about anyone else, but at six months im not ready to make ammends yet. I guess for those who are truly important and loving, seeing me get better is an ok apology for now.
Llooking forward to this weekend, but not too much, i know how plans changes. i'm getting into the habit of making a plan b and c nowadays so im not left with a full day free and alone.
heading to Brooklyn on Saturday for an anniversary (NA), and maybe see my Grandma.
Sunday is church, AA meeting, and a football game my younger cousin is playing in.
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