Dee74

Carry on gang - your progress is inspiring
Last part here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-20.html

D

CarolD

.... Dee for starting a fresh page.

I agree....our Apriler's are an amazing group
of non drinkers....

Kmber2010

Thanks guys for the new thread. I am here and sober. Having a rough day but it is part of the challenges we face in sobriety. Dealing with old scenarios a new way.

I posted in the newbies as so many have reached out to me who are not part of my Aprillers and I thought WTH....Let me share out there so anyone new to sobriety can see that sobriety is about work and that it is ok not to have a perfect day.

I know when I relapsed that I felt like a total fraud. Like how can I show my face on SR or anywheres again. The mindset that you need to get it right the first time. I have learned that relapse may happen and while we are responsible for choosing to pick up that drink that we also are responsible for getting help.

The choice to relapse is mine and mine alone. No one forces me to booze and I am looking at this rather eery time as one that I will survive and come out feeling even stronger.

I believe that I have to face these challenges to truly get sober. I have to face my demons and handle all these funky scenarios. What I don't have to do is handle them completely alone.

Thanks Aprillers!!! Y'all can read the other thread and this particular challenge is the one that hits closest to home.

Keep it going friends.

AmericanGirl

Woo Class of April thread 3!

Kim, I read your other post. I'm thinking of you during this anxious time. Keep up the good work with breathing techniques & try some other relaxation methods too, maybe? You can do this.

Me too UBC. I hope they pop up soon. I've been sad about seeing people come and go with this site in general, but I try not to let it get to me . . .

Since my last post have come down with a bad cold. Hard for me to deal with being sick.

Rev

Alcohol took away the continuous discomfort of things, as if downing a beer or four removed a pebble from the shoe of life. I would feel content for a change. Of course, it doesn't last, and then I find I'm drinking to avoid feeling MORE uncomfortable; I am afraid not to drink, I suppose. Still, the allure of that feeling of "rest" from the unending labor of just being, can be quite acutely tempting. It's often a battle between what I feel, and what I know.

Rev

Kmber2010

Guys I am here and feeling ok again. Not great/not bad just grateful that I am sober. I saw firsthand how being sober changed my perception of everything yesterday. I could see clearly.

Rev - yesterday I just felt a second that feeling of nothing that comes with drinking. I also quickly remembered how I destroyed myself and my life for 10 years because of the continuous - just one drink. I stopped doing, stopped living and just wasted space. Hang tight friend.

Yesterday was the first time I thought of doing what I know best - numbing the pain. It is a habit, a ritual and sure as hell takes more then 3 clean months to remove 10 years of behavior.

Keep steady and stay the course guys. Share share share. You know I am on this thing quite often and I am following each and every Apriller. I am right here with you even if you can't see my little face....which maybe a good thing since I pick my nose. Hey...when all else fails laugh at it. It has gotten me through some rough times.

AmericanGirl

Rev, I think this is pure poetry: "as if downing a beer or four removed a pebble from the shoe of life." Just gorgeous. Only I would hasten to add that perhaps it made me ignore the pebbles in the shoe of life . . . only to wake up with horribly calloused and bunioned feet.

Kim, I now envision you perpetually picking your nose. Sorry.

UBC, interesting that you bring up the oil spill. Although obviously the oil spill is a much much bigger thing than anything in my individual personhood/existence, I have definitely also watched it with metaphysical curiosity due to the proximity of the spill w/our sobriety dates.

I made it to 100 days today! (Now to count months! ) There are a bunch of newcomers today, it seems, and I want to write another post for them too but am still really sick with this cold. So, I guess 100 days didn't turn me into superwoman, ha! But I have never once regretted this decision and am simply amazed & grateful to be here.

topspin

A Girl, Woo Hoo on the 100 days !!
Those summer colds can be ruthless; .....I've made the mistake in the past (for some dumb reason ) thinking I don't really need to take it easy for several days, ...since the symptoms would seem to temporarily disappear daily ; ...only to persist another day. Treat it like a winter cold if ya can !!

Kim, you had me going the other day when I ( first ) began reading your thread from Feb that ended with a very inspirational message to the newest newcomers. Coming out of the other side of some of these challenges in early sobriety will only strengthen our program of recovery, ....whichever methods we decide to employ. Hopefull, the anxiety associated with the first few weeks of deployment will start to ease soon; ...hang tough. You have more tools (and experience )now than ever before .

Rev, I used to trade the market daily for 9 years, back in the 90's and finally eased up a little with it sometime in 07. You have my thoughts with you everyday, since I still follow the financial markets , but, now , at more of a distance. Like most every worthwhile experience, I have never regretted what I learned, not only about investing, but more importantly, about myself. I would never say '"good luck " ; because luck really has nothing to do with it. It takes a certain type of mentality to get that close to the market, ....and remain passionate about it for a lifetime.

UBC, I need to learn a thing or two about meditation . It sounds like it would be helpful for a Secular Humanist. I fool around with some homegrown ideas of "primal nirvana" ....a sort of thought-free state of mind that I rarely experience when I'm distance running or distance cycling. It sounds kind of ridiculous in print, but I'm trying to achieve the nonverbal mindset of what I percieve, say; ...a wild dog (wolf ) would have, on a long hunt. So, ( I'm sure ) it'll never be a popular idea, in our egocentric societies going forward. LOL .....just something that relieves some anxiety for me !

Maybe , I should pay a little closer attention to my thoughts on the bike. LO
Two crashes in two months ! Glad to be sober dealing with this shoulder injury.

Taking it one day at a time.

You Aprillers help me every week.

Grateful (and sore ) tonight in Carolina.


.

Ghostly

I hate it when I type something then lose it!!

Not gounna retype it all - Here is an abbreviated version...AG awesome on 100 days. Triple digits...SWEET!

Kim you are being tested yet seem really prepared. Wish you the best!

UBC...Disco biscuits? Chemical warfare brigade? You are an interesting person and write some interesting things. Sometimes I think I need to meditate more to understand you tho . I mean that in a nice funny way!!

Your training is inspiring topspin. Keep it up and hope your shoulder gets better. Stop crashing into things .

Rev you write some great things. Fairly depressing but very relevant. Hang in there bud.

Rev

Congrats on your 100 days, AG! Those innocent days of double-digit sobriety are over; make way for triples!

I will probably be telling people in 20 years that I have been sober for 7413 days. LOL

Rev

Dee74

Always good to catch up with you guys and see your progress
and congrats to you AG!

I just count in years now Rev - it's easier on me...and everyone else

D

MyGraySkies

Hi Aprillers! I spent some time catching up on all the posts I've missed. Vacation went well, I'm still sober (91 days now). I envy you all with triple digits, can hardly wait til I can say I'm in the triples too! (And I'm anxiously waiting to get past the 6 month mark, it was around that time I relapsed last time.)

The husband goes underway again tomorrow, he'll be back in October. I'm hoping me and the kids get back in the swing of things without him around fairly smoothly.

I appreciate all your posts, it's very comforting to see the thoughts I have written out by others and knowing that we share so many of these thoughts, struggles, and concerns. BTW, Dee, your signature gave me a giggle this morning, too cute!

Kmber2010

Hey All -

Happy Tuesday! Good day here...all is quiet.

AG - Congrats on those beautiful 100 days and MGS you will get there shortly but I will give you a huge high five on those lovely 91 days!!

I read through the posts and I am inspired by the profound words of wisdom here. What a journey we all are making here and I am so glad to see how strong we are in sobriety and will to share our good and sometimes...ummmm not so good days. Its a family and I am glad to have it.

Like some of you have shared.....it is sad that we haven't heard from some who started this quest but I try to think positive. Maybe they are enjoying sobriety so much that they don't have time to write out all that is going on or maybe they are focused on recovery and SR was the jumping point. I am sure some have lost back to the bottle.....I know a few months after January I was off SR and back to doing what I knew best.

Kinda funny that here I am with over 3 months and feeling strong in far more ways than just staying sober. I have improved the quality of my life, those in it and I have found constructive positive means of dealing with stress. I have much to learn and doubt I will ever have a set "plan" as for me....change and growth is important to forever living. The one constant has been SR. I may post a bit for someone who has been off the bottle a bit but my sobriety speaks for itself and my posting here helps strengthen my journey.

UBC - I will tinker around with 7 things but right now food is on the brain. Gots to eat but will get to it by tomorrow

Have a great nite guys.

Kmber2010

Oh and UBC....you is sooooo smaaart You and Rev always get me googling so know I also learn while on SR and not just about staying sober....hehe. Huggs!

Rev

1. I finished my book, which I'd been working on (on and off) for a few years.
2. I saw that I was causing myself alot of pain with my habits, especially procrastination and other avoidance habits, so I'm trying to work on that
3. My spiritual practices have improved some
4. I've learned that quitting drinking was not the answer to all my problems
5. My work quality has improved
6. My relationship with myself is changing, moving toward a better place
7. I met you nice people, who I am grateful to know because otherwise I would feel alone in something I was unable to deal with alone

Rev

Gwyntissel

At some point this afternoon I realized today was my 100th day! I haven't gone that long without a drink in 13 years.

I hope everyone is doing well!

topspin

Congratulations on the 100 days Gwyntissel !!

Great job


UBC, thanks for that link,

it was great to see John Lennon's name just under Corliss Lamonte.

Lamonte's work has influenced me with his revised editions. Lennon, well, where to start, huh?

Thankful the Moral Majority (seems to have ) lost most of it's steam by the late 80's !

Their roots;... described in Curt Sytsma's satiric poem, "A Humanist Manifesto " Lo

In every age, the bigot's rage
Requires another focus,
Another devil forced on stage
By hatred's hocus-pocus:
The devil used to be the Jew
And then it was the witches;
And then it was the Negroes who
Were digging in the ditches.
The devil once was colored pink
And labeled communistic;
Now, all at once, in just a blink,
The devil's humanistic.


hahahaha,

Or Art Buchwald's "Hunting Down the Secular Humanist" , writing:

"What makes them so dangerous is that secular Humanist look just like you and me. Some of them could be your best friends without you knowing they are Humanist. They could come in your house, play with your children, eat your food and even watch football with you on television , and you'd never know they have read Catcher in the Rye, Brave New World and Huckleberry Finn......No one is safe until Congress sets up an Anti-Secular Humanism Committee to get at the rot. Witnesses have to be called, and they have to name names. "

UBC, ....you've really got a way with words !!!
Like the way you went with the "wolf" .....As soon as I posted that, it occured to me that, say, a water buffalo, would have been a better (more accurate ) example to use.

I'm going to have to think about "7 things that I would attribute to becoming sober in April 2010 " What first comes to mind is mostly "very bad things ". Fear, desperation,physical and mental instability, (percieved) financial insecurity, wicked (and very real ) daily hangovers, and generally not having a clue how to avoid extreme mental anguish.

Now, 7 benefits of being sober:

A week feels like 7 days ; instead of 3 re-eeeally long foggy ones.

Speak to someone in my family every day, instead of quarterly

Grateful for my job, instead of absolutely hating it

Overhauled my eating habits, ....my appetite has improved;.... along with the way food taste

Aerobic fitness is actually a daily goal, ...workouts are no longer something I think I'll do "one day"

Have (finally) lost that sense of financial insecurity

peace of mind....(most of the time)

.

Kmber2010

Gwyn....Congrats on those awesome 100 days!! Glad you posted as I missed ya!

Kmber2010

Happy Humpty Day!

Thx Rev, UBC and TS for posting your 7!! There is so much to be grateful for so here are mine:

1. I have rekindled positive old friendships and reconnected with family.
2. My relationship with my husband has greatly improved and I appreciate him far more. He sees the best in me now.
3. I am pregnant and this miracle is soley attributed to sobriety, blessing from my HP and the reduced stress in my life.
4. No longer are mountains made out of mole hills. I look at the facts for exactly what they are.
5. I got a job and began living life rather then standing on the sidelines ballyhooing.
6. No longer do I live in anxiety and fear and I take moments in my day to just be.
7. I accept me and am learning to love me again.....and I am not ashamed of who I am.

Also, now I am googling to the post from TS. Ahhhh......I have to reeducate my brain here. Too many years fried. I swear when I drinking I would have the stoner attitude of ......"whoooaaaa dude thats too heavy" if I were reading these posts. Yeah I was a total flatliner. Now that I got some healthy blips back I am thinking again.

Think there are some little sparks going off in the brain....lol.

Oh and btw....BOOOOO on Ed Norton not being brought back for Incredible Hulk in the Avengers. Sorry but Mark Ruffalo is no substitute. The only other one that I think these film adaptions got right was getting Hugh Jackman and I do like Robert Downey Jr. as Ironman. When they keep a serious edge to the character it works but I am tired of these silly "Fantastic Four" comedy type adaptions....grrr. I wanted to puke when I saw the trailer for Green Hornet.

Ok yes....I do chat about things outside alcoholism....lol. I don't feel like chatting about Kant or Bentham or Hobbes but give me some movie chat I am yours.

Just being random as usual and guess what??? That is ok. Who and whatever we are is OK. Never liked the idea of classifying. Maybe thats why I was coined the "free spirit".....lolol.

Another rainy day here in good ole Germany.

Rev

Congrats Gwyn. Welcome to the Three Figure Club. LOL

Rev