August Sobriety Group - pt.8
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Good Monday Morning...
WOW...TJ and KC...way to go! Isn't is amazing once we change the perspective and recognize alcohol for what it truly is how we can be stronger?
TJ- being tired is a trigger for me too. I always try to remember the acronym HALT.,
Hungry, Angry, Tired and Lonely. I admit that all of them are triggers for me.
Jason...56 days today, you are right around the corner knocking on 60 days, youngster...turning 34...oh, I feel so old!
I felt great this weekend...finally, hopefully over this crap I have been fighting all winter it seems like. Did some yard word, ran errands, accomplished a good bit. I always feel good when I am physically active.
Easter week is upon us...we all started off together toward the end of summer, and we are entering into spring...life is good!
WOW...TJ and KC...way to go! Isn't is amazing once we change the perspective and recognize alcohol for what it truly is how we can be stronger?
TJ- being tired is a trigger for me too. I always try to remember the acronym HALT.,
Hungry, Angry, Tired and Lonely. I admit that all of them are triggers for me.
Jason...56 days today, you are right around the corner knocking on 60 days, youngster...turning 34...oh, I feel so old!
I felt great this weekend...finally, hopefully over this crap I have been fighting all winter it seems like. Did some yard word, ran errands, accomplished a good bit. I always feel good when I am physically active.
Easter week is upon us...we all started off together toward the end of summer, and we are entering into spring...life is good!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
KC here - another busy day at work! Supposed to warm up here this weekend into the 80's so it's golf for sure! I am so excited - I also got invited to play in a charity golf tournament down in Florida in two weeks - still thinking about that one, but I am almost positive I am going to say yes. I have never been invited to play in a tournament that is not in this immediate area. It's for business, so I will most likely go. Never travelled with my clubs before so not sure how all that works. I guess it counts as luggage and I will have to pay for the "baggage."
Was up early today - easy to do when there is no booze in the body. Just so full of energy!! So much that it is almost scary. Like a nervous energy!
Well, I have some paperwork to do this evening so I'll sign off for now. Hope everyone has a great week. I will check back in later on (if I have insomnia) or tomorrow if I don't!!!
KC
Was up early today - easy to do when there is no booze in the body. Just so full of energy!! So much that it is almost scary. Like a nervous energy!
Well, I have some paperwork to do this evening so I'll sign off for now. Hope everyone has a great week. I will check back in later on (if I have insomnia) or tomorrow if I don't!!!
KC
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi all -- have 9 days of solid sobriety now and tomorrow will be double digits. I haven't had double digits since November 2009. Am feeling great, though a little tired now from a busy, busy day.
I played tennis today and I must say, I played well. It must be the nine days of sobriety
I got paired with another woman who is pretty good for a singles match (they usually pick two of the best players for singles, so that in itself was an honor.) We played for a half hour (the other 1.5 hours consists of drills) and by the time we had to stop, I was up 4-2 and playing very well. She's a good player, too, so that was an accomplishment.
I went to my SMART meeting tonight. Because it's the first day of Passover, many of the regulars were not there including the usual moderator. However this other really great woman led the meeting and I liked her a lot. I love the group. I'm very happy I found them. This was the first time I was able to say I was sober for the whole time since the last meeting, so that in itself was an accomplishment. Everyone was so encouraging.
Well, off to watch Dancing with the Stars in bed... take care everyone.
I played tennis today and I must say, I played well. It must be the nine days of sobriety
I got paired with another woman who is pretty good for a singles match (they usually pick two of the best players for singles, so that in itself was an honor.) We played for a half hour (the other 1.5 hours consists of drills) and by the time we had to stop, I was up 4-2 and playing very well. She's a good player, too, so that was an accomplishment. I went to my SMART meeting tonight. Because it's the first day of Passover, many of the regulars were not there including the usual moderator. However this other really great woman led the meeting and I liked her a lot. I love the group. I'm very happy I found them. This was the first time I was able to say I was sober for the whole time since the last meeting, so that in itself was an accomplishment. Everyone was so encouraging.
Well, off to watch Dancing with the Stars in bed... take care everyone.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Purpose
Wow. I *have* been away for a while... sorry y'all.
Oh, and sorry, on retrospect, my comment about being a topic came off harsher in type than I meant it... I was kinda tickled to be honest. It's not a usual thing for people to remember me I guess... I done let this social isolation thing go wayyy too far.
And, as someone mentioned in my visitor post thingy, I kinda promised I'd type the next day... and I didn't because... well. Here's the tale of the Missing Bubba.
On the 25th, I had an (club) fundraiser in a bar... I didn't plan the location. I've been worried/not worried about it leading up to it. When it did happen, I had finished all my midterms and--for the first time I believe in college--am currently up-to-date on all my assignments/readings. My frustration with the AA message I'm hearing and also the simple vacuum left after the stress left, when I hit the bar, I was not really feeling like drinking--I was hungry. So I ate. But then I had a beer, then one more, and a whole lot of fun. As graduation gets closer, a senior class that has never socialized met each other and had a blast. Everybody was nostalgic, 'wishing' they'd done this before. It was strange. But, after that, we went out (with a designated driver) to another fundraiser for another club--and I had a few mixed drinks. We chatted and danced until closing time, and I got home 3/4 drunk and thoroughly exhilarated. I didn't even drink as much as most people in our group.
But the funny thing, after that, the next day, I woke up hungover and just rode it out. Did not feel like drinking, and have not since. In fact, the pain of the hangover was actually mitigated by memories of the night before.
It's been on my mind, although I've been afraid to say it aloud, that when I stopped worrying about not drinking every day (had to, for midterms--couldn't take the stress), I stopped even thinking about it. I have been toying with the idea of limiting myself to 'social drinking'--as much as everybody hates the idea, to be honest, those same everybodies are not fulfilling the human contact void in me. But if that's what it takes to get me through this semester, well--I need people in my life. And college people equate getting together with drinking, well... it's a risk I'm willing to take. I am watching it, and will continue to read/post here, but luckily for that plan of mine, I don't have much of a social life. I did get a few people add me on FB after that night, which made me happy (reckon I didn't act the fool--although they were drinking more than me and probably are used to less than me).
Also--and this actually came first--in between one of my other posts before that, I have come to the conclusion that if I stay here and get a job/apartment etc... I'll never get to where I can leave. Too expensive, and I'll get back to being depressed. So I'm leaving now, right after graduation. Buying a pickup, selling my car, packing all my stuff and moving. I have no job waiting, no apartment--although I have thought this through, and done the math--I have enough money if nothing major happens. And it's sort of a targeted destination--I'm aiming to go to grad school there, fall 2011. Medium city, college town--I figure I can find some things to do there and people to hang out with. Alcohol is not something I'm counting on, I'm thinking other stuff to do, but again, social. Don't know if I can hold on--and if I can't, well, I'll be back with my tail between my legs (been there a time or two)--but one thing is surely true: I CANNOT drink alone. That solves nothing whatsoever.
Since I came to that decision/solidified it (the moving one), I have been a whole new woman. I'm ridiculously happier--was even told yesterday by my mentor when she took me to lunch that last time she seen me she wanted to slap me but I'm much better this way--and everything looks easier to do, school, packing, the daunting task of trying to find a cheap pickup in the home of 3 year old vehicles being traded in for being 'old', and yayyy. I'm actually walking on air.
On a sadder and far stranger note, I ran into two people I knew in the past today--actually all three of us ran into each other, which has to be about the most impossible thing that's happened to me this year. None of us are from California, and I surely did not know they were here. And we just... ran into each other. Them first, then I rounded the corner, and. Um. Hi y'all?
So we got to talking, went out for lunch, etc. One of them has alcohol problems like me (we all drank together back in the day) and the other... oh my. Don't know if y'all remember back to December, when I prayed for some kind of intervention and got it through here and the (better) AA people that I've been going to meetings with the last few months... turns out one of them did the same thing (the praying part) and lo and behold, two of her good friends pop up the next day. Her problem isn't alcohol, but it's that same kind of stuck-ness and fear to leave (think domestic emotional abuse)... I drove her over to this shelter place that the other girl knew about, and I'm praying she'll make a decision to change her life (although, to be fair, she already has, but it's left her homeless and on the streets). She's like me though, afraid to reach out for help, and afraid to give up what little she has because it looks like there's nothing else afterwards. We're going to the movies tomorrow, all of us.
Anyways, this is getting mighty long. Sorry y'all.
Oh, and by the way, I finally got my DL... took me 2 weeks to get enough free time, sheesh. But it just adds to my feeling free... 'cause that's what I'm feeling. Free of the bonds of alcohol, free of the bonds of my own depressed outlook on life, free of the bonds of my experience in Southern California, free of feeling tied down to the place or the school... I'm FREE.
Take care, ((Augustties))
TB, 'bout flying
Oh, and sorry, on retrospect, my comment about being a topic came off harsher in type than I meant it... I was kinda tickled to be honest. It's not a usual thing for people to remember me I guess... I done let this social isolation thing go wayyy too far.
And, as someone mentioned in my visitor post thingy, I kinda promised I'd type the next day... and I didn't because... well. Here's the tale of the Missing Bubba.
On the 25th, I had an (club) fundraiser in a bar... I didn't plan the location. I've been worried/not worried about it leading up to it. When it did happen, I had finished all my midterms and--for the first time I believe in college--am currently up-to-date on all my assignments/readings. My frustration with the AA message I'm hearing and also the simple vacuum left after the stress left, when I hit the bar, I was not really feeling like drinking--I was hungry. So I ate. But then I had a beer, then one more, and a whole lot of fun. As graduation gets closer, a senior class that has never socialized met each other and had a blast. Everybody was nostalgic, 'wishing' they'd done this before. It was strange. But, after that, we went out (with a designated driver) to another fundraiser for another club--and I had a few mixed drinks. We chatted and danced until closing time, and I got home 3/4 drunk and thoroughly exhilarated. I didn't even drink as much as most people in our group.
But the funny thing, after that, the next day, I woke up hungover and just rode it out. Did not feel like drinking, and have not since. In fact, the pain of the hangover was actually mitigated by memories of the night before.
It's been on my mind, although I've been afraid to say it aloud, that when I stopped worrying about not drinking every day (had to, for midterms--couldn't take the stress), I stopped even thinking about it. I have been toying with the idea of limiting myself to 'social drinking'--as much as everybody hates the idea, to be honest, those same everybodies are not fulfilling the human contact void in me. But if that's what it takes to get me through this semester, well--I need people in my life. And college people equate getting together with drinking, well... it's a risk I'm willing to take. I am watching it, and will continue to read/post here, but luckily for that plan of mine, I don't have much of a social life. I did get a few people add me on FB after that night, which made me happy (reckon I didn't act the fool--although they were drinking more than me and probably are used to less than me).
Also--and this actually came first--in between one of my other posts before that, I have come to the conclusion that if I stay here and get a job/apartment etc... I'll never get to where I can leave. Too expensive, and I'll get back to being depressed. So I'm leaving now, right after graduation. Buying a pickup, selling my car, packing all my stuff and moving. I have no job waiting, no apartment--although I have thought this through, and done the math--I have enough money if nothing major happens. And it's sort of a targeted destination--I'm aiming to go to grad school there, fall 2011. Medium city, college town--I figure I can find some things to do there and people to hang out with. Alcohol is not something I'm counting on, I'm thinking other stuff to do, but again, social. Don't know if I can hold on--and if I can't, well, I'll be back with my tail between my legs (been there a time or two)--but one thing is surely true: I CANNOT drink alone. That solves nothing whatsoever.
Since I came to that decision/solidified it (the moving one), I have been a whole new woman. I'm ridiculously happier--was even told yesterday by my mentor when she took me to lunch that last time she seen me she wanted to slap me but I'm much better this way--and everything looks easier to do, school, packing, the daunting task of trying to find a cheap pickup in the home of 3 year old vehicles being traded in for being 'old', and yayyy. I'm actually walking on air.
On a sadder and far stranger note, I ran into two people I knew in the past today--actually all three of us ran into each other, which has to be about the most impossible thing that's happened to me this year. None of us are from California, and I surely did not know they were here. And we just... ran into each other. Them first, then I rounded the corner, and. Um. Hi y'all?
So we got to talking, went out for lunch, etc. One of them has alcohol problems like me (we all drank together back in the day) and the other... oh my. Don't know if y'all remember back to December, when I prayed for some kind of intervention and got it through here and the (better) AA people that I've been going to meetings with the last few months... turns out one of them did the same thing (the praying part) and lo and behold, two of her good friends pop up the next day. Her problem isn't alcohol, but it's that same kind of stuck-ness and fear to leave (think domestic emotional abuse)... I drove her over to this shelter place that the other girl knew about, and I'm praying she'll make a decision to change her life (although, to be fair, she already has, but it's left her homeless and on the streets). She's like me though, afraid to reach out for help, and afraid to give up what little she has because it looks like there's nothing else afterwards. We're going to the movies tomorrow, all of us.
Anyways, this is getting mighty long. Sorry y'all.
Oh, and by the way, I finally got my DL... took me 2 weeks to get enough free time, sheesh. But it just adds to my feeling free... 'cause that's what I'm feeling. Free of the bonds of alcohol, free of the bonds of my own depressed outlook on life, free of the bonds of my experience in Southern California, free of feeling tied down to the place or the school... I'm FREE.
Take care, ((Augustties))
TB, 'bout flying
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
PS. Also, I'm glad I got comfortable with the idea of moving across the country *before* I had the night out.
Truth is, even though common sense tells me that post-graduation, there won't be any socializing either, I might have just used it as an excuse to talk myself out of leaving.
I'm not too adventurous, sometimes. Took a lot for me to leave home too.
But, I'm leaving y'all. I got a purpose for now. Gotta get ready, I'm leaving in less than 2 months. Amazing how much stuff you can have in a few years. Getting rid of a bunch of it--I don't use it, it's not worth taking across the country.
:dance08
Part of the reason I didn't post--I know with my past and all, I probably shouldn't be thinking of any kind of 'moderation' (although that's not how I see it really) and 2 months ago I wouldn't have thought it'd work even once. But I got so much other stress etc (excuses yah) and, so far it's doing okay. In fact it's a pretty good reason to not drink when the thought crosses my mind--I can't, 'cause I'm all alone, have to wait til someone invites me out.
'Cause oh yeah, I'm not counting "I go to a bar" as a social occasion here. I mean pre-arranged by others type of event. Hey, I'm not good at staying sober anyhow, this is a little more metered. See if I can make it last a few months (yeah, that's a 'success' in the mind of Bubba).
Take care y'all, and again, sorry for leaving y'all hanging. And glad to see everybody's progress, TJ and KC... GoFish hehee if you get the car, it just might work, I hear men judged by their cars all the time 'round here... ((Brent)) thanks... Richard hang on in there man... ANew, always stuff to think about there... ((Midton))... Anono, yeah me too on the 'nonposting' phase lol.
TB
Truth is, even though common sense tells me that post-graduation, there won't be any socializing either, I might have just used it as an excuse to talk myself out of leaving.
I'm not too adventurous, sometimes. Took a lot for me to leave home too.
But, I'm leaving y'all. I got a purpose for now. Gotta get ready, I'm leaving in less than 2 months. Amazing how much stuff you can have in a few years. Getting rid of a bunch of it--I don't use it, it's not worth taking across the country.
:dance08
Part of the reason I didn't post--I know with my past and all, I probably shouldn't be thinking of any kind of 'moderation' (although that's not how I see it really) and 2 months ago I wouldn't have thought it'd work even once. But I got so much other stress etc (excuses yah) and, so far it's doing okay. In fact it's a pretty good reason to not drink when the thought crosses my mind--I can't, 'cause I'm all alone, have to wait til someone invites me out.
'Cause oh yeah, I'm not counting "I go to a bar" as a social occasion here. I mean pre-arranged by others type of event. Hey, I'm not good at staying sober anyhow, this is a little more metered. See if I can make it last a few months (yeah, that's a 'success' in the mind of Bubba).
Take care y'all, and again, sorry for leaving y'all hanging. And glad to see everybody's progress, TJ and KC... GoFish hehee if you get the car, it just might work, I hear men judged by their cars all the time 'round here... ((Brent)) thanks... Richard hang on in there man... ANew, always stuff to think about there... ((Midton))... Anono, yeah me too on the 'nonposting' phase lol.
TB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Thanks for checking in Bubba. I am glad you had a good night out and feel like you connected with people. However I feel like it needs to be said that I think what you are planning is a failure waiting to happen. I know how lonely you have been, and the fact that you were able to go out and socialize and drink with everyone else who was drinking made you feel "normal" make you feel a sense of belonging. However, the sooner we all realize that we are NOT like normal drinkers, the easier it will be for us as alcoholics. Sure, I too wish that I could go out once in a while and drink like everyone else, but I know where that will lead me. Sure, I may be able to do it for awhile, but we have ALL tried the moderation thing and look where we are? Beaten, bruised, and sick. Wishing we had never picked up again. I know you have tried AA, and if you read the Bigbook, it talks VERY explicitly about trying the moderation thing and the "tricks" our brain plays with us trying to moderate. Read chapter 3 of your Bigbook, and I think you will see what a terrible idea this is.
Bubba, we all care about you, and can not stop you if this is what you choose. If this is what you are going to do, I hope it works for you. But how has this worked for you in the past? You know the answer, and where it WILL lead you. Know we are all here for you when you need us again.
How is everyone else doing today? Beautiful day here in South Dakota. It is supposed to be 71 and sunny here today. SPEEDO TIME! haha. Just thought I would leave a very pleasant image in all of your heads. hahaha.
Hugs everyone.
Bubba, we all care about you, and can not stop you if this is what you choose. If this is what you are going to do, I hope it works for you. But how has this worked for you in the past? You know the answer, and where it WILL lead you. Know we are all here for you when you need us again.
How is everyone else doing today? Beautiful day here in South Dakota. It is supposed to be 71 and sunny here today. SPEEDO TIME! haha. Just thought I would leave a very pleasant image in all of your heads. hahaha.
Hugs everyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Bubba...thanks for the updates...I have missed you here in our little August pod.
I do agree that the constant day to day obsession of the mind with regard to alcohol and the freedom that comes from removing that obsession is paramount to living a great life..I have to echo Brents sentiments that moderate drinking, for us, is playing with fire.
You now several of us here are on FB...if you would like to join us, just PM...if not., I totally understand. It is a nice way to keep up with each other in a more of a social way.
Your future sounds bright Bubba.....keep moving forward...
I do agree that the constant day to day obsession of the mind with regard to alcohol and the freedom that comes from removing that obsession is paramount to living a great life..I have to echo Brents sentiments that moderate drinking, for us, is playing with fire.
You now several of us here are on FB...if you would like to join us, just PM...if not., I totally understand. It is a nice way to keep up with each other in a more of a social way.
Your future sounds bright Bubba.....keep moving forward...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Brent...Speedo weather....hmmm..so many visuals come to my mind!!
It is beautiful here today as well..so very inspiring to see the earth come back to life,
and everything in bloom...to say nothing of good ole sunshine!
It is beautiful here today as well..so very inspiring to see the earth come back to life,
and everything in bloom...to say nothing of good ole sunshine!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
I have been mulling over TBs post in my little old blond brain...
something that came to mine is romancing the drink.
You have a positive experience associated with your drinking, even though it was social/moderate as compared to alcoholic drinking..
As alcohol excites those feel good feelings in our brains...and you had a positive social experience...wow, double good feelings.
That was my case back when I went out drinking after years of sobriety. At first, it was all good...in fact, so good that I convinced myself I wasn't an alcoholic.
When I lose contact in my head with the reality that is, I am an alcoholic, I am lying to myself., this starts me on a dangerous journey. Once again when the alcohol is removed, I will be left with me...
and in the words of Pink, I will be trying to figure out, "how do I feel this good sober?"
something that came to mine is romancing the drink.
You have a positive experience associated with your drinking, even though it was social/moderate as compared to alcoholic drinking..
As alcohol excites those feel good feelings in our brains...and you had a positive social experience...wow, double good feelings.
That was my case back when I went out drinking after years of sobriety. At first, it was all good...in fact, so good that I convinced myself I wasn't an alcoholic.
When I lose contact in my head with the reality that is, I am an alcoholic, I am lying to myself., this starts me on a dangerous journey. Once again when the alcohol is removed, I will be left with me...
and in the words of Pink, I will be trying to figure out, "how do I feel this good sober?"
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Morning y'all.
I know it might backfire Brent. It's a price I'm willing to pay.
Double the pleasure, I don't know ANew, maybe. I was more of stay-at-this-level-of-buzzed (which I knew was higher than "regular buzz") than, say, drink-to-pass-out drinker.
And I have been able to cleanly argue with my brain (and win!! go Bubba!!) that there is no reason to drink today, tomorrow, whenever. There's no counterargument. This is so peaceful, I can't begin to tell y'all.
I'm going to the movies today. I already woke up, all ready to start on cleaning out most of my things I won't need... I'm so excited about moving it's not even funny.
Take care y'all,
NewBubba
I know it might backfire Brent. It's a price I'm willing to pay.
Double the pleasure, I don't know ANew, maybe. I was more of stay-at-this-level-of-buzzed (which I knew was higher than "regular buzz") than, say, drink-to-pass-out drinker.
And I have been able to cleanly argue with my brain (and win!! go Bubba!!) that there is no reason to drink today, tomorrow, whenever. There's no counterargument. This is so peaceful, I can't begin to tell y'all.
I'm going to the movies today.
I already woke up, all ready to start on cleaning out most of my things I won't need... I'm so excited about moving it's not even funny.Take care y'all,
NewBubba
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Morning y'all.
I know it might backfire Brent. It's a price I'm willing to pay.
Double the pleasure, I don't know ANew, maybe. I was more of stay-at-this-level-of-buzzed (which I knew was higher than "regular buzz") than, say, drink-to-pass-out drinker.
And I have been able to cleanly argue with my brain (and win!! go Bubba!!) that there is no reason to drink today, tomorrow, whenever. There's no counterargument. This is so peaceful, I can't begin to tell y'all.
I'm going to the movies today. I already woke up, all ready to start on cleaning out most of my things I won't need... I'm so excited about moving it's not even funny.
Didn't even think I was capable of this much happiness, even say a month ago.
Take care y'all,
NewBubba
I know it might backfire Brent. It's a price I'm willing to pay.
Double the pleasure, I don't know ANew, maybe. I was more of stay-at-this-level-of-buzzed (which I knew was higher than "regular buzz") than, say, drink-to-pass-out drinker.
And I have been able to cleanly argue with my brain (and win!! go Bubba!!) that there is no reason to drink today, tomorrow, whenever. There's no counterargument. This is so peaceful, I can't begin to tell y'all.
I'm going to the movies today.
I already woke up, all ready to start on cleaning out most of my things I won't need... I'm so excited about moving it's not even funny.Didn't even think I was capable of this much happiness, even say a month ago.
Take care y'all,
NewBubba
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
I think this is the bottom line question Bubba. Are you willing to sacrifice your LIFE for a little bit of a social life knowing you are leaving in seven weeks anyways? The people you meet will be left behind, but the damage you may cause yourself will be with you forever. Pray that you make the right decision.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
For me it didn't matter if it was pass out black out drinking, or moderate social....I abused alcohol. I drank more then is safely recommended by the CDC...to say nothing of the raw fact I am an alcoholic..
Those nerves, that pleasure center gets coaxed back into alcoholic operation for this lady....
No can do that moderation thing..been, there, done that., I have got the tee-shirt, hat,mug,pen,postcard,tacky stuffed souvenirs from that trip.
Those nerves, that pleasure center gets coaxed back into alcoholic operation for this lady....
No can do that moderation thing..been, there, done that., I have got the tee-shirt, hat,mug,pen,postcard,tacky stuffed souvenirs from that trip.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Was craving white wine big time tonight. Triggers were: a long busy day out with my kids, running around here and there, the eye doctor, the orthodontist, the grocery store (massive load of groceries - over $300), then I only just wanted to kick back and relax with some wine.
Also, had an email exchange with another ex-boyfriend, this one lives in Italy (have a thing for European men LOL), and he was asking me what I was doing in August. Then basically invited me to see him in Italy, which sounded appealing for some reason. All I could think of was drinking wine at this point. Why that would be a trigger for me, I don't know.
But I decided not to cave into the cravings. I thought about the fact that I want to go running tomorrow morning and that if I drink any amount of wine tonight, I won't want to run in the morning. I also thought of not disappointing you guys, my SMART group, and most importantly, myself. So I made the decision NOT to drink....I guess it's possible to ride out cravings and not act on them.
My daughter is now mad at me because I don't feel like taking her to the movies tonight. I told her that Thursday would be better since I was out all day today, but she is giving me the pouty treatment. Ughhhh....
But still sober and through 10 days.
Also, had an email exchange with another ex-boyfriend, this one lives in Italy (have a thing for European men LOL), and he was asking me what I was doing in August. Then basically invited me to see him in Italy, which sounded appealing for some reason. All I could think of was drinking wine at this point. Why that would be a trigger for me, I don't know.
But I decided not to cave into the cravings. I thought about the fact that I want to go running tomorrow morning and that if I drink any amount of wine tonight, I won't want to run in the morning. I also thought of not disappointing you guys, my SMART group, and most importantly, myself. So I made the decision NOT to drink....I guess it's possible to ride out cravings and not act on them.
My daughter is now mad at me because I don't feel like taking her to the movies tonight. I told her that Thursday would be better since I was out all day today, but she is giving me the pouty treatment. Ughhhh....
But still sober and through 10 days.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
Hello everyone! It's almost 10pm here -wow - is it almost 10pm????? Gosh, my day has flown by. I just got home.
Have another long day tomorrow, so it will be good to once again wake up without a hangover. I have even lost count as to how many days without drinking - I think it might be 31 or 32. Still not sleeping too well. Have to try to remedy that.
Well, have a good night and I'll check in tomorrow.
KC
Have another long day tomorrow, so it will be good to once again wake up without a hangover. I have even lost count as to how many days without drinking - I think it might be 31 or 32. Still not sleeping too well. Have to try to remedy that.
Well, have a good night and I'll check in tomorrow.
KC
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
TJ - somehow I missed your post from last night when I posted mine. Way to go on beating the wine cravings. It really does pass if you go do something else. I have learned that, believe me. My craving is right when I get home from work - no matter what time it is. And on the weekends around 2:00pm - must be from the island vacation! LOL. It's just a habit, that's all. My therapist said that if you go do something - anything - it will pass quickly. She tells me the same thing about my obsessive thoughts about cleaning my kitchen - it too will pass if I go do something else. And she is right.
For those of you who think I am a real clean freak - it's not that. The kitchen is the first room I see when I walk into the house. For some reason, I have to have it neat - no clutter on the counters, sparkling countertops, etc. etc. If it's not (because husband decided to bleach the counters or something along those lines) I drop everything and clean it. Not good. Anyway, when I come home and see it like that, I just walk right on past it and upstairs and soon the craving passes. Since that's where the wine is kept, it helps that too.
Anyway, I have been up since 5:00am - had a hard time sleeping and was tossing and turning till 2:15am. That was the last time I looked at the clock. Maybe I am the kind of person who just does not need a lot of sleep. Beginning to think that is the case. Wouldn't know from past experience because I was usually passed out around midnight and could hardly wake up at 6:30am - which is my usual time. So time will tell I guess.
OK - off to work. Everyone have a great, sober day!
KC
For those of you who think I am a real clean freak - it's not that. The kitchen is the first room I see when I walk into the house. For some reason, I have to have it neat - no clutter on the counters, sparkling countertops, etc. etc. If it's not (because husband decided to bleach the counters or something along those lines) I drop everything and clean it. Not good. Anyway, when I come home and see it like that, I just walk right on past it and upstairs and soon the craving passes. Since that's where the wine is kept, it helps that too.
Anyway, I have been up since 5:00am - had a hard time sleeping and was tossing and turning till 2:15am. That was the last time I looked at the clock. Maybe I am the kind of person who just does not need a lot of sleep. Beginning to think that is the case. Wouldn't know from past experience because I was usually passed out around midnight and could hardly wake up at 6:30am - which is my usual time. So time will tell I guess.
OK - off to work. Everyone have a great, sober day!
KC
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hey KC, glad to see I'm not the only one with those "after work wine cravings." They can be rough but I just have to ride them out.
I'm a neat freak, too, LOL - we have a lot in common. Just hate clutter of any sort. I'm really proud of myself that I installed a Pottery Barn organizer thing on the wall in my front foyer. I can stick any important papers, bills, keys, etc. there instead of throwing them on the counter or table. I'm a clutter nazi, believe me! I notice it everyone around the house and try to eradicate it.
Well, it's a beautiful day here and getting nicer each day. I'm going to go on a run before work and make it a good, positive day. Day 11!!!
I'm a neat freak, too, LOL - we have a lot in common. Just hate clutter of any sort. I'm really proud of myself that I installed a Pottery Barn organizer thing on the wall in my front foyer. I can stick any important papers, bills, keys, etc. there instead of throwing them on the counter or table. I'm a clutter nazi, believe me! I notice it everyone around the house and try to eradicate it.
Well, it's a beautiful day here and getting nicer each day. I'm going to go on a run before work and make it a good, positive day. Day 11!!!
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