thirtybubba

I need to stop eating while reading SR. Especially stop eating rice...

Thanks, Zebra--I was having a bad evening right up until the moment I read that.

KC, I second (third? fourth? what we up to?) what they say. No reason to leave us now. I've jumped in on a few other months, but it's not the same... If you want to go to Februrary or March, no reason you can't stay here also, either.

As alluded to, it's been kinda a rough night for me. No clue why. I got school tomorrow morning, I'm mostly caught up--well, I'm caught up and studied ahead in 4/5 classes. I'm caught up in the fifth, but I have a test on Tuesday, so... well, I need to read some for that. I might be a little behind in the reading.

Went to church this morning, as did approximately half the people on the planet. Again, I have no clue why. However, the parking lot was filled--with people who didn't fit in the church. That doesn't happen. So I chose to come back for the later service. Glad I did, I got to sit down at least, and there was a lot of interesting things said. It seems to go hand in hand with what I'm learning either in AA or because of AA (we're still having problems in Bubbaland vis a vis a few topics--it is educational, just in kind of a sideways way).

Then some studying and then my ride backed out about 25 minutes from meeting time. I'd been in that place where my mind goes when it opens itself up to the idea of drinking, I just hadn't know it. Can't quite explain it. But, when that happened, I was a little irritated, but... I thought a couple shots before bed couldn't hurt.

So I went to another meeting.

Take care,
TB, still sober...

Gofish

Way to go 30! I wanted to drink last night, too. No clue why. Had a great weekend and everything was fine. I just had a craving for red wine last night for some reason. I didn't give in to temptatation, though. I'm glad we both remain steadfast! It felt so good this morning, reminding myself of the hell I'd be experiencing had I given in and drank. I'm in a good mood today. Hope you are too!

Have a great Monday, peeps!

Jason

ANEWAUGUST

Hello everyone...

KC-please stay here with us August allies..we have all different dates, starts and restarts...but, I do feel that we have become a nice support group for each other...
Glad to see you back on the board.

Zebra..I think that you did this older generation proud!!!!!! Way to go...more importantly though..what type of doughnuts do you like?

Brent..try to enjoy your quick trip to Vegas...at least it will be warmer there.

Anono..I hear ya about the flu...I was sick again this weekend... and I am tired of it..hahah..I did get a steroid shot yesterday, and that has seemed to help.

Jason/TB-way to go on not drinking....

Hopefully everyone is doing well...

So...not that the Olympics are over...what all are we watching on TV????

thirtybubba

Good morning.

ANew, I'm watching... nothing on TV. It just stares at me with its square black screen. Soviet Russia jokes come to mind often. Been watching Bones and Perry Mason on the internet...

Jason, not in a great mood--I'm kinda groggy. But it's much much much better than if I'd drank...

Congratulations on not drinking you too.

Well, just popping in to say good morning to somebody.

Take care,
TB

ANEWAUGUST

Good Morning to you TB!!!!

Perry Mason...aw., there is a classic!

Zebra1275

Anew, I like many types of doughnuts, probably my favorite is French Cruellers, I'm not sure if that is a regional thing or not.

I just got back from playing tennis again tonight (doubles with some guys from my Thursday night league). I played terrible, I had no energy, I guess the kid took something out of me yesterday. I'm playing singles Wednesday night, and then my league again on Thursday. I need to learn to pace myself, the alcoholic part of me tends to overdue everything. It's sort of a "if 1 is apporpriate, let's do 12" kind of thing. I'm sure many of you can relate.

traderjane

Zebra, I played tennis today, too. Doubles. My partner and I were up 4-0, and I thought we were going to run away with it. Then we ended up losing the set 6-4. But every game was very close, many games with several deuces. I loved it. My one favorite part of the set was when I hit a swinging volley for a winner. We had just worked on the swinging volley shot in drills so I was all ready to try it out in match play.

I had a visitor this weekend. A guy who has a crush on me. We had a nice weekend together but it was kind of odd. I found I wasn't attracted to him physically. I did have some wine over the weekend (I know... you guys are going to get on me for that). I had two glasses on Sat. night and two glasses on Sunday night while he was here. No drunkenness or hangovers.... I seem to be able to control my drinking when I'm with other people. It's when I'm alone that I'm a danger.

I'm sober tonight and plan to stay that way this week. I feel better that way. I guess I have just accepted that I'm not going to have a sobriety date, but at least I am continuing to work at this.

On a whim, logged into ***** chat and ex-boyfriend from Switzerland found me again. He wants me to meet a Swiss friend of his who is on business here in DC. I told him okay. Then he proceeded to tell me that I was a "smart cookie in a tight package" and did I still think about him. I said, "Yes, of course I do." Obviously he still is thinking of me, but I'm kind of getting over the whole thing. It did not cause me to want to go out and drink like I did the last time.

I'm in a good mood, despite losing my sobriety date and having "another one bite the dust" in the romance department. I'm okay.

bdiddy5522

Hey everyone. On my phone, so this will be brief. Meetings have been great, but I haven't had much time to do much else. Honestly, Vegas in kind of boring when you are here by yourself and don't drink. Haha. Still nice to get away. Oh, and the Bellagio is going to have a hard time making payroll this month. I cleaned them out! Haha. Kidding, I am not much of a gambler but I did win a little. Off to bed now, but will be home late tomorrow night. Talk to you all then. Hugs.

thirtybubba

Yes, I always did that too, if I was drinking with other people.

Well not always--but with people I knew from work, school, etc. Never had a problem, heck sometimes I didn't drink at all.

Coming back from a meeting tonight with my sponsor, she was surprised when I mentioned that I used to wait out rush hour at this one diner, a burger and a Heineken. And even as I think back in general on my life and think it was always out of control, there were pockets if you will of normalcy. Even with alcohol. I just forget those, it was talking about the diner that reminded me of that.

I'm sure there are drunken things I've forgotten by now--not suggesting that I can go back to normalcy (was born somewhat far away from that in the first place).

But that is a major fear of mine--here, I don't (aside from club activities, which do not frequently involve alcohol) have to worry about social occasions. It's when I have a social life.

I have no idea what'll happen then... 'cause *that* is the social occasion where I might overdo it... among friends.

On the other hand, if alcohol is part of the social scene... I don't forsee myself being able to refuse it long. Saturday I was on "the strip" of a nearby city... lots of cafes, lounges, sports bars--I still feel the draw when it's a social scene. The only thing that keeps me out is that I have no one to go with...

This is probably disorganized rambling... but it's the essence of my biggest long-term obstacle to sobriety. I know it's coming, but... if it were to happen tomorrow, I know I'd drink. It would be a lie to say otherwise. I've been missing human companionship for so long... Doubt I'd say no to drinking in order to gain that level of friendship in my life.

Night y'all.
TB

ANEWAUGUST

Hello everyone...

Socializing and alcohol..hmmm..that may be, or may have been one of my hardest obstacles for sobriety to overcome.

It has taken alot of inner work to allow me to feel comfortable in my own sober skin, and truly enjoy myself socially without drinking. Alot of people cannot be around alcohol and socialize once sober. I wasn't sure if that was the route I had to take in life or not.

It wasn't until later in my life that I can look back and realize I have always suffered from some type of anxiety, especially when it came to social situations. I am able now, to be around alcohol, in social situations, and even have it in the house, and not be tempted...it just isn't for me..the preoccupation/obsession in my mind is finally gone.

Well...didn't mean to be on a soap box...just reading these posts got me to thinking...

Peace

KC1

KC here on Day Three. I hope I can make it through the day. Went to my fundraiser last night and drank three St. Pauli N.A.'s. No one knew the difference so I had no explaining to do. However, tonight I am having a cocktail hour at my house for some of the management team from work (in about 45 minutes) and of course, I am serving wine and other mixed drinks along with cheeses, dips, etc. This was on the calendar long before my decision to quit again so there was no changing the date. I bought myself a 6-pack of St. Pauli N.A. that I can pour into a glass and no one will question it. It is sad that people would question someone who is not drinking, isn't it? Anyway, my husband's support lasted all of 48 hours. He told me last night I am no fun when I am not drinking. I said he'd better learn to "like me sober." So I am here writing now so when I check back in later on after everyone leaves in a few hours, so that I can say I did not give into the wine while I was serving it in my living room. I will stay on my N.A. I wll stay on my N.A. I will not drink wine. I will not drink wine...........I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Thanks and I will check in later on.

ANEWAUGUST

You can do this KC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Sorry that your husband isn't giving you the support you need and deserve right now...
taking drinking out of a relationship when it has been a part of a relationship (I am speaking of my hubby and I)...is really hard. All dynamics change...and you know., I bet you are just as much fun...just in a different way.

We are here for you KC...come on back and let us know how you are...no matter which way it turns out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thirtybubba

Evening y'all.

I got through another day... actually today I was all the way up to the functioning level of when I was drinking all the time.

Yes, that's a good thing. I'm ecstatic.

That pull seems (so far... it's only 8:30 and I have nothing left to do tonight... about the worst possible place for me) to be easing tonight. Maybe it was the realization that I got everything done today.

That, of course, has nearly taken me under both Sunday night and last night.

Good = bad, sober = unable to function... gee this is fun. It best to get better.

KC, PM inbound.

Take care Augusties,
TB

KC1

Day Four! OK - I made it last night! It was hard...very hard and I also noticed that I started to crave the wine around 6:30pm which is normally the time I get home from work. So I tried to redirect my attention and just focused on making sure everyone else's glass was full and the cheese trays were passed around, etc. I can tell you that St. Pauli Girl, N.A. sucks. It made me very bloated, but I had no hangover this morning, which is a great feeling. Also, as in the past, I can actually "smell the coffee" after a few days of not drinking. Wine must make my nose stuffy. I will be sitting at the hair salon tonight at 6:30pm so hopefully will get past that craving if it comes. Tomorrow is Day Five and I know I can get to that!

Off to work. Thanks for the support!

KC

traderjane

Great job, KC!!! Hang in there, TB!!!

I have effectively kicked alcohol out of my life at home and during the week, which is awesome. I think I have gone three weeks now where I am not drinking home alone. (I have lost count.) I haven't been perfect on the weekends. But I'm definitely getting things in order. I can't tell you how nice it is to go to work without a hangover, day after day!!!

No real cravings, either. I have been keeping myself so busy in the evenings that it's just not an option for me right now.

Haven't figured out what to do about the "social drinking" aspect in the long term. But in the short term, I can't do it. I have been experiencing dizziness and vertigo lately and it's terrible. I spoke with my Mom last night. A few people in our family have this condition. She told me not to drink ANY alcohol while this is going on because it will make it worse. So that's it for a while. I'm going to a Cabi party on Friday night... there will be wine, and I'm not going to drink. The vertigo is kind of an easy explanation when I'm offered a glass of wine.

I really truly want this to get better because it really sucks and worst of all, I may not be able to do yoga if it doesn't get better Well, I'm keeping my spirits up and keeping hopeful that I WILL be able to do yoga.

Have a great Wednesday!!!

PurpleCat

(((TJ)))

Congrats KC! BTW, Kaliber is a much better tasting NA than St Pauli Girl, IMO.

Gofish

Good morning, friends! How is everyone today? I'm feeling great. I love mornings these days! The day starts off so much more smooth without the foggy haze of a hangover.

Today is my 30th day without alcohol, the 44th since I've been drunk. I haven't been keeping track of the days. A friend of mine reminded me this morning. Here's to 30 more!

Hope all is well. Have a great day!

ANEWAUGUST

Way to go KC!!!! I have basically given up on the NA beers...they are bloating. Rather have some other "mocktail" instead., or at least that is where I am right now. I haven't tried Kaliber...my son bought me Guiness NA..which, was pretty good, if memory serves
me right.

TJ-I am sorry to hear you are experiencing vertigo. My mother in law had a horrible time with it years ago...hoping it passes quickly for you! What type of yoga do you do...


TB-glad to hear things are going well...and are productive for you!

Jason...30 days..woop woop!!!!and 44 since your last drunk...way to go....

I am still fighting the last of this virus/flu I have had...I swear., all I want to do is sleep...
too much to do right now...so, sleep is not an option.

Can you believe it is March already...???? I swear, time is flying by at a record pace...

bdiddy5522

Morning everyone. I am home and back to the cold weather and the real world. Nice to get away for a bit though. KC- Congrats on not drinking. I just warn you to be careful so early in sobriety putting yourselves in situations like that. May be best to stay away from functions such as that for the time being. I know you will say that you "have" to be there for work, etc. But let me just say that in order to achieve sobriety, you have to make it your number ONE priority! As without sobriety, you will eventually not have anything anyways. There are sacrifices that will need to be made. For example, I just got back from Vegas, and there was a free cocktail reception after the meetings for all of us. I simply did not go. I went to the room and skipped it. I knew that it just wouldn't be a good situation to put myself in. I would have either ended up drinking, or been miserable at that fact that I wasn't drinking. Either one would not have been enjoyable to ME. Keep going girl.

Gofish- you rock my friend! Congrats on 30 days. One day at a time my friend. One day at a time. There is nothing so bad in life that a drink won't make worse. Hang on to those feelings you are having right now how good you feel in the morning. Those are your victories.

TJ- Good luck with the moderation, and I hope it works for you. If I remember right, it hasn't worked in the past, but maybe this time will be different?

Morning Anew and PC. I agree with the NA beers. I haven't tried them since my wife was pregnant almost 2 years ago, but I remember they were all terrible. I don't want to drink that crap. I didn't drink beer for the taste, because honestly there are a million other things in the world that taste better. I drank it to get drunk. I stick to juice and water.

Happy Wednesday everyone.

thirtybubba

Good morning everybody.

TB.

ps. wish me luck. all i gotta do is get to somewhere on time and i am eligible for my license. i am no good at getting anywhere on time sober... and this place is a couple hours away by tricky bus connections... it's been killing me the last couple days and oh Lord i just wanna get there on time.