Codependency And Beyond - Part 11
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
(((Annie)) So sorry about your Husband, but that's wonderful that you had such a great time with your daughters, and also that you have peace about your son's behavior...sending prayers your way....
(((Live)) that's sounds so exciting, when is the wedding!!!!
(((Live)) that's sounds so exciting, when is the wedding!!!!
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Last night I had a spur of the moment thought to go down and re-organize my moms garage today. I called "the baby" and she agreed to meet me there, and brought the new boy to help. Mom has been storing my sisters gear forever, and now that sis has a house, we were able to free up so much room for her. Its about a 2 hour drive down for me and an hour for the baby, so she was pretty surprised. We had a nice thank you prime rib dinner, and I am back home=)
I was going to go out and visit the (ex) today, the baby said he seemed excited. Then she told me he was "funny", up all night drinking, still at it when she left for my mom's this morning. So I called about 3 to see if he had slept it off, but he was hammered, so i just came back home.
Annie, I am sorry, it sucks, thank god for recovery programs and kind, caring people who have walked this path before us.
*hugs* for the rest of yas, I been running like a maniac lately. . .
I was going to go out and visit the (ex) today, the baby said he seemed excited. Then she told me he was "funny", up all night drinking, still at it when she left for my mom's this morning. So I called about 3 to see if he had slept it off, but he was hammered, so i just came back home.
Annie, I am sorry, it sucks, thank god for recovery programs and kind, caring people who have walked this path before us.
*hugs* for the rest of yas, I been running like a maniac lately. . .
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Annie)) - I'm so sorry you had to deal with that when you got home, but WOW, you sound so amazingly peaceful
((Lisa)) - glad you got to see "the baby" and got mom's garage cleaned out. Sorry about the ex, but sounds like you made a very wise decision.
((Live)) - I sent you a pm.
((Grateful)) ((Anna)) ((SG)) ((HG)) ((Mariposa)) ((okay, it's 4a.m., I hope I didn't miss anyone?!?!)
Work was okay...got a spontaneous hug from one of my teeny-boppers who said "you're such a hard worker...it's not fair that you get no recognition, you just get yelled at if you don't do one little thing". I thanked her and thought that was really sweet.
Today is my day off and I'm not doing much of anything. Have to catch up on stores, the rest of this week and find the motivation to do them
There's extra work, this month, and the store mgrs are not happy with what we are doing, so it's just aggrevating.
However, I'm feeling better and will do what I can do, the best I can do it, and try not to worry myself into a tizzy I've talked myself down, a few times, thinking of you all and Anvil and a few others talking to me, so I have GOOD voices in my head, to counteract the codie ones!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
((Lisa)) - glad you got to see "the baby" and got mom's garage cleaned out. Sorry about the ex, but sounds like you made a very wise decision.
((Live)) - I sent you a pm.
((Grateful)) ((Anna)) ((SG)) ((HG)) ((Mariposa)) ((okay, it's 4a.m., I hope I didn't miss anyone?!?!)
Work was okay...got a spontaneous hug from one of my teeny-boppers who said "you're such a hard worker...it's not fair that you get no recognition, you just get yelled at if you don't do one little thing". I thanked her and thought that was really sweet.
Today is my day off and I'm not doing much of anything. Have to catch up on stores, the rest of this week and find the motivation to do them
There's extra work, this month, and the store mgrs are not happy with what we are doing, so it's just aggrevating.However, I'm feeling better and will do what I can do, the best I can do it, and try not to worry myself into a tizzy
I've talked myself down, a few times, thinking of you all and Anvil and a few others talking to me, so I have GOOD voices in my head, to counteract the codie ones!!Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
May 8th, the Saturday before Mother's day, SG.
Annie.....you did handle things beautifully. I will keep my gripey thoughts about the scene to myself LOL
Lisa, I want some of your energy...and prime rib! LOL
Amy, Amy.....woogie, woo-woo! that's silly talk that goes with a big hug! LOL
Anna, thank you so much!!!!!
Mariposa, thinking of you!
Grateful, see ya soon! LOL
How come I can't gripe about my x-roomie? I am angry about a couple of things the last week!
Annie.....you did handle things beautifully. I will keep my gripey thoughts about the scene to myself LOL
Lisa, I want some of your energy...and prime rib! LOL
Amy, Amy.....woogie, woo-woo! that's silly talk that goes with a big hug! LOL
Anna, thank you so much!!!!!
Mariposa, thinking of you!
Grateful, see ya soon! LOL
How come I can't gripe about my x-roomie? I am angry about a couple of things the last week!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Hi Everyone,
This is off-topic, but I can't get it off my mind, and hope you will send some prayers.
My son and daughter-in-law's good friend Katie is missing in Haiti. She is 30, an engineer, and arrived in Haiti the day of the earthquake. She emailed her boss two hours before the quake. She's not been heard from since. Her family and friends could use some prayers.
This is off-topic, but I can't get it off my mind, and hope you will send some prayers.
My son and daughter-in-law's good friend Katie is missing in Haiti. She is 30, an engineer, and arrived in Haiti the day of the earthquake. She emailed her boss two hours before the quake. She's not been heard from since. Her family and friends could use some prayers.
Leap of Faith Survivor
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
You are reading from The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright - 1990 The Hazelden Foundation
Gratitude
January 18
Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we;re submerged in misery by nightfall.
Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappoints. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lesson in these experiences.
One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.
Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.
Today, I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy.
Gratitude
January 18
Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we;re submerged in misery by nightfall.
Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappoints. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lesson in these experiences.
One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway.
Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.
Today, I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Hello, everyone, I had two wonderful days of much needed me-time and I am feeling the better for it
Oh Anna, I am sorry to hear about your friend...what an unbelievable tragedy with so many, many lives lost. Sending my prayers for Katie and her family.
(((Anna)))
Annie, you sure do have a plateful, what with your son and your husband and being in codie recovery as well......but it is your wonderful recovery that will get you through...I love how you choose to focus on the positive with your beautiful girls.....sending my prayers and hugs
Amy, what a time...so close, makes sense that you would be back and forth about the outcome and how you feel about it after such a long uphill climb...be gentle with you...its almost over and you get to start a new chapter...yes, that can be scary, but that's okay, right...hugs
Live, what an exciting time and its right around the corner..sooo happy for you!
Suzi, thinking of you...
Oh Anna, I am sorry to hear about your friend...what an unbelievable tragedy with so many, many lives lost. Sending my prayers for Katie and her family.
(((Anna)))
Annie, you sure do have a plateful, what with your son and your husband and being in codie recovery as well......but it is your wonderful recovery that will get you through...I love how you choose to focus on the positive with your beautiful girls.....sending my prayers and hugs
Amy, what a time...so close, makes sense that you would be back and forth about the outcome and how you feel about it after such a long uphill climb...be gentle with you...its almost over and you get to start a new chapter...yes, that can be scary, but that's okay, right...hugs
Live, what an exciting time and its right around the corner..sooo happy for you!
Suzi, thinking of you...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Yes, it is grateful...and today's reading fits..I will make my gratitude list.
I am angry and frustrated by a couple of special things that my X-roomie kept even tho she doesn't like one and has never used the other (my canopy bed) and doesn't even have all the pieces....
Wanting to play house, you see!
I am angry and frustrated by a couple of special things that my X-roomie kept even tho she doesn't like one and has never used the other (my canopy bed) and doesn't even have all the pieces....
Wanting to play house, you see!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Anna))) - certainly prayers for Katie. The whole tragedy in Haiti has just pulled at my codie strings and I feel rather helpless
Elvis is still having the throw-up/fall out episodes and dad/stepmom have just picked him up when he does it and then he's okay. Dad isn't getting any work, so tomorrow I'm going to ask if he wants to help me with the stores, rather than sit around and stew. Brit just came home for the first time since her blowup. I think I'll just stay in my room and concentrate on breathing and staying calm.
I DO appreciate today's reading and am going to practice a bit more gratitude. Also leaving you with another good "Ralph"
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Monday, January 18, 2010
Turn around
+++++++++++++++++++
When you discover that you're feeling negative, you have two
choices. You can feel even more negative about the fact that
you're feeling negative, or you can choose to turn your
thoughts around.
When you've suffered a defeat, you can make it even worse by
beating yourself up about it. Or, you can use it as a
positive inspiration to turn yourself around and move
forward in a more effective way.
The moment you realize you've strayed from the path, use
that realization as a clear and compelling signal. Use it as
a signal that it's time to re-commit to the original goal
and get yourself back on track.
Sure, it's unfortunate that you've temporarily lost your
way. But there's no reason to add to that misfortune.
In this moment, you can choose any direction, no matter what
has just happened. So choose a positive, empowering
direction that will bring out the best in you.
This is your opportunity to act with renewed determination
and purpose. Turn around, and get yourself going forward
again.
Ralph Marston
Elvis is still having the throw-up/fall out episodes and dad/stepmom have just picked him up when he does it and then he's okay. Dad isn't getting any work, so tomorrow I'm going to ask if he wants to help me with the stores, rather than sit around and stew. Brit just came home for the first time since her blowup. I think I'll just stay in my room and concentrate on breathing and staying calm.
I DO appreciate today's reading and am going to practice a bit more gratitude. Also leaving you with another good "Ralph"
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Monday, January 18, 2010
Turn around
+++++++++++++++++++
When you discover that you're feeling negative, you have two
choices. You can feel even more negative about the fact that
you're feeling negative, or you can choose to turn your
thoughts around.
When you've suffered a defeat, you can make it even worse by
beating yourself up about it. Or, you can use it as a
positive inspiration to turn yourself around and move
forward in a more effective way.
The moment you realize you've strayed from the path, use
that realization as a clear and compelling signal. Use it as
a signal that it's time to re-commit to the original goal
and get yourself back on track.
Sure, it's unfortunate that you've temporarily lost your
way. But there's no reason to add to that misfortune.
In this moment, you can choose any direction, no matter what
has just happened. So choose a positive, empowering
direction that will bring out the best in you.
This is your opportunity to act with renewed determination
and purpose. Turn around, and get yourself going forward
again.
Ralph Marston
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
Thanks Grateful and Amy for the readings...I want to try harder at having more gratitude myself, and not focus on problems...like someone said that we can miss out on so many special things, when we are too consumed with our problems.
Hope Elvis will get better soon, Amy
Hope Elvis will get better soon, Amy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Brit and I have ended our "silent treatment". She thinks someone threw a rock at her window (she's a huge scaredy-cat), was terrified and is convinced it is the ex best friend. I talked to her, told her (again) that the more she ignores any games the girl plays, the faster the girl will get bored and leave her alone. I feel much better, now that we are talking again.
Elvis ate all my chicken fingers for dinner, so his appetite is fine. I keep diagnosing him with different things, and reminding myself that I am NOT a vet!!
Feeling a bit of the whirlwind stuff going on in my mind, but also kind of blah, but tomorrow is another day
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
Elvis ate all my chicken fingers for dinner, so his appetite is fine. I keep diagnosing him with different things, and reminding myself that I am NOT a vet!!
Feeling a bit of the whirlwind stuff going on in my mind, but also kind of blah, but tomorrow is another day
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((SG)) - thanks. Brit was right...her window is cracked, this morning...right above where her head was She is terrified, now, and sleeping with stepmom - dad slept on the couch. Stepmom tells me "they know where YOUR room is, too" Oh, and she told us that Brit's dad and someone tried to shoot at our house when Brit was a baby, but hit the wrong house...yeah, THAT helped.
Dad had gone to a meeting to try to drum up work. When stepmom called to tell him, he "went off" on her about there being no screens on Brit's windows. I know he is getting panicked about no money coming in and the fact that his lawyer hasn't called back about the bankruptcy issues the court has.
Stepmom, on the other hand, is having HER issues with the substance abuse classes and telling them she has fibro? She says "I've always had it" and I said "you've NEVER been diagnosed with it by a dr." and that it didn't matter what who said (even if it is my stepsister who IS diagnosed with it), that she has something she only THINKS she has. She's also worried about the money it costs for these classes.
Elvis has been looking out the door, I didn't want him to go outside, but I've got to do stores and stepmom is back in bed. She said something about it and I said "if he has one of his spells, you won't know..you're in the bed!" I will get him back in the house before I leave.
I know I'm being codie and I'm taking all of everyone else's feeling on in addition to my own, as I'm still worried about money, right now. Yeah, there's some coming in, but don't know when. I know I can help dad, and pay back what I owe, but I can't support this household, but I feel guilty for feeling that way.
Anyway, I'm going to get dressed and try to get motivated to get out of this house and deal with the store mgrs. I told Tess I was going to pretend to be her dog, Della - we call her "the bulldozer" as she just plows through anyone and everything that gets in her way and goes on her merry way
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
She is terrified, now, and sleeping with stepmom - dad slept on the couch. Stepmom tells me "they know where YOUR room is, too" Oh, and she told us that Brit's dad and someone tried to shoot at our house when Brit was a baby, but hit the wrong house...yeah, THAT helped.Dad had gone to a meeting to try to drum up work. When stepmom called to tell him, he "went off" on her about there being no screens on Brit's windows. I know he is getting panicked about no money coming in and the fact that his lawyer hasn't called back about the bankruptcy issues the court has.
Stepmom, on the other hand, is having HER issues with the substance abuse classes and telling them she has fibro? She says "I've always had it" and I said "you've NEVER been diagnosed with it by a dr." and that it didn't matter what who said (even if it is my stepsister who IS diagnosed with it), that she has something she only THINKS she has. She's also worried about the money it costs for these classes.
Elvis has been looking out the door, I didn't want him to go outside, but I've got to do stores and stepmom is back in bed. She said something about it and I said "if he has one of his spells, you won't know..you're in the bed!" I will get him back in the house before I leave.
I know I'm being codie and I'm taking all of everyone else's feeling on in addition to my own, as I'm still worried about money, right now. Yeah, there's some coming in, but don't know when. I know I can help dad, and pay back what I owe, but I can't support this household, but I feel guilty for feeling that way.
Anyway, I'm going to get dressed and try to get motivated to get out of this house and deal with the store mgrs. I told Tess I was going to pretend to be her dog, Della - we call her "the bulldozer" as she just plows through anyone and everything that gets in her way and goes on her merry way
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
(((Amy)) I have been acting very codie myself, as you know I have vertigo right now, which is getting better, but I have been feeling resentful about always having to be there for everyone, thinking I am not allowed to be sick, feeling sorry for myself, what a martyr I can be...lol I'm sure I picked up annoyance from my two daughters, that how dare I be sick, I have to be there for them, anytime they call no matter what....but I do have this fear of what if I am not around, what will they do. They call me almost everyday and they are going through a hard time, but it seems they always are, especially my youngest...I know I should set boundaries, but its so hard...I have already been through all this before, I had set boundaries with my youngest, mostly because of her attitude, but the last while she has been respectful and we have good conversations, but it does seem too much talking everyday sometimes...especially for an hour...I know I should know better, but I seem to feel so responsible for others, that I am having such a hard time letting go of...I don't know if any of this makes sense...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
(((SG)))
You don't have to apologize for struggling with your codiness. I am so learning that this recovery is a zig zag pattern and not a straight line. You are a loving person who cares deeply for your loved ones and that is why on some days when they are hurting the most...that detaching is so hard. As grateful always tells me...be gentle with yourself. When your desire to be codie is at it's strongest...shut out the world and do something good for you...whether thats a hot bath, a massage, a movie by yourself, getting a hotel room by yourself to read and meditate...whatever works.
And vent here....it really helps.
(((Amy))))
Sorry about the rock thing with Britt....but it is good she is talking with you all again!
Make sure to take care of yourself in this. We love you.
Husband realizes his show on Saturday was disturbing, but instead of seeking recovery help...he is going to try to go cold turkey with no drinking. He's tried that before...it didn't work. He's going to become a dry drunk for awhile...but I just wish he understood that that is just an outward thing...that he needs to do recovery work on the inside to truly get better. But as we all know...until HE realizes that...nothing I can saw will make a difference.
Son still has made no contact. I do check his facebook page once in awhile...apparently he is still boozing it up quite a bit...maybe I should block his page so I have no way of getting anxious. I still have made no contact with him. Thought about leaving a message that it's sister's real birthday tomorrow and that it would be nice of him to contact her...I don't want daughter's feelings to be hurt because I know he will forget her without my remninder....but I guess that's there deal. I don't think I will interefere.
Class starting.
Love you all.
Been working on that gratitude thing......hard work...but good work.
Annie
You don't have to apologize for struggling with your codiness. I am so learning that this recovery is a zig zag pattern and not a straight line. You are a loving person who cares deeply for your loved ones and that is why on some days when they are hurting the most...that detaching is so hard. As grateful always tells me...be gentle with yourself. When your desire to be codie is at it's strongest...shut out the world and do something good for you...whether thats a hot bath, a massage, a movie by yourself, getting a hotel room by yourself to read and meditate...whatever works.
And vent here....it really helps.
(((Amy))))
Sorry about the rock thing with Britt....but it is good she is talking with you all again!
Make sure to take care of yourself in this. We love you.
Husband realizes his show on Saturday was disturbing, but instead of seeking recovery help...he is going to try to go cold turkey with no drinking. He's tried that before...it didn't work. He's going to become a dry drunk for awhile...but I just wish he understood that that is just an outward thing...that he needs to do recovery work on the inside to truly get better. But as we all know...until HE realizes that...nothing I can saw will make a difference.
Son still has made no contact. I do check his facebook page once in awhile...apparently he is still boozing it up quite a bit...maybe I should block his page so I have no way of getting anxious. I still have made no contact with him. Thought about leaving a message that it's sister's real birthday tomorrow and that it would be nice of him to contact her...I don't want daughter's feelings to be hurt because I know he will forget her without my remninder....but I guess that's there deal. I don't think I will interefere.
Class starting.
Love you all.
Been working on that gratitude thing......hard work...but good work.
Annie
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
You are reading from The Language Of Letting Go by Melody Beattie Copyright - 1990 The Hazelden Foundation
Owning Our Power
January 19
There is one feeling we need to pay particular attention to in recovery: feeling victimized. We do not need to become comfortable with that feeling.
How do we feel when we've been victimized? Helpless. Rageful. powerless. Frustrated.
Feeling victimized is dangerous. Often, it can prompt us into addictive or other compulsive behaviors.
In recovery, we're learning to identify when we're feeling victimized. when we are actually being victimized. and why we're feeling victimized. We're learning to own our power, to take care of ourselves, and to remove ourselves as victims.
Sometimes, owning our power means we realize we are victimizing ourselves - and others are not doing anything to hurt us. They are living their lives, as they have a right to, and we are feeling victimized because we are attempting to control their process, or we're unreasonably expecting them to take care of us. We may feel victimized if we get stuck in a codependent belief, such as, Other people make me feel bad.....Others hold the key to my happiness and destiny...or, I can't be happy unless another behaves in a certain way, or a certain, or a certain event takes place.....
Other times, owning our power means we realize that we are being victimized by another's behavior. Our boundaries are being invaded. In that case, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves to stop the victimization; we need to set boundaries.
Sometimes, a change of attitude is all that's required. We are not victims.
We strive to have compassion for the person who victimized us, but understand that compassion often comes later; after we've removed ourselves as victims in body, mind, and spirit. We also understand that too much compassion can put us right back in the victim slot. Too much pity for a person who is victimizing us may set up a situation where the person can victimize us again.
We try not to force consequences or crises upon another person, but we also do not rescue that person from the logical consequences of his or her behavior. If there is a part that is our responsibility to play in delivering those consequences, we do our part - not to control or punish, but to be responsible for ourselves and to others.
We try to figure out what we may be doing that is causing us to feel victimized, or what part we are playing in the system, and we stop doing that too. We are powerless over others and their behavior, but we can own our power to remove ourselves as victims.
Today, I will take responsibility for myself and show it to others by not allowing myself to be victimized. I cannot control outcomes, but I can control my attitude toward being victimized. I am not a victim; I do not deserve to be victimized.
Owning Our Power
January 19
There is one feeling we need to pay particular attention to in recovery: feeling victimized. We do not need to become comfortable with that feeling.
How do we feel when we've been victimized? Helpless. Rageful. powerless. Frustrated.
Feeling victimized is dangerous. Often, it can prompt us into addictive or other compulsive behaviors.
In recovery, we're learning to identify when we're feeling victimized. when we are actually being victimized. and why we're feeling victimized. We're learning to own our power, to take care of ourselves, and to remove ourselves as victims.
Sometimes, owning our power means we realize we are victimizing ourselves - and others are not doing anything to hurt us. They are living their lives, as they have a right to, and we are feeling victimized because we are attempting to control their process, or we're unreasonably expecting them to take care of us. We may feel victimized if we get stuck in a codependent belief, such as, Other people make me feel bad.....Others hold the key to my happiness and destiny...or, I can't be happy unless another behaves in a certain way, or a certain, or a certain event takes place.....
Other times, owning our power means we realize that we are being victimized by another's behavior. Our boundaries are being invaded. In that case, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves to stop the victimization; we need to set boundaries.
Sometimes, a change of attitude is all that's required. We are not victims.
We strive to have compassion for the person who victimized us, but understand that compassion often comes later; after we've removed ourselves as victims in body, mind, and spirit. We also understand that too much compassion can put us right back in the victim slot. Too much pity for a person who is victimizing us may set up a situation where the person can victimize us again.
We try not to force consequences or crises upon another person, but we also do not rescue that person from the logical consequences of his or her behavior. If there is a part that is our responsibility to play in delivering those consequences, we do our part - not to control or punish, but to be responsible for ourselves and to others.
We try to figure out what we may be doing that is causing us to feel victimized, or what part we are playing in the system, and we stop doing that too. We are powerless over others and their behavior, but we can own our power to remove ourselves as victims.
Today, I will take responsibility for myself and show it to others by not allowing myself to be victimized. I cannot control outcomes, but I can control my attitude toward being victimized. I am not a victim; I do not deserve to be victimized.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
SG,
Setting boundaries and sticking with the decision is very hard. If your kids are taking too much of your energy, maybe you can try limiting the calls to an amount of time that suits you. I sure hope your vertigo feels better.
Annie,
I hope that your husband realizes he needs to change himself from the inside out. I used to try to work things out between brother and sister too, dropping hints, etc. Lo and behold, somewhere along the way, they began communicating amazingly well with each other. But, it seems like such a long road. I think you're making the right choice by not interfering.
Okay, here's my Codie issue of the moment.
My son's hobby is art/painting. He had some interest in his art from a very funky, avant-garde art gallery. He's had three paintings at the gallery for several months. I don't know if any have sold yet. He's having a gallery opening, a one-night stand show of all his art work in a couple of months and all the family will be showing up. I keep thinking how will he feel if nothing sells? Won't he be heartbroken? My husband says, well, maybe it will be a dose of reality (son is 32) that he should make a decision about spending time, money and effort on art. I agree, but...I want to figure out a way to buy some paintings without him knowing it was me.
OMG this never ends!
Setting boundaries and sticking with the decision is very hard. If your kids are taking too much of your energy, maybe you can try limiting the calls to an amount of time that suits you. I sure hope your vertigo feels better.
Annie,
I hope that your husband realizes he needs to change himself from the inside out. I used to try to work things out between brother and sister too, dropping hints, etc. Lo and behold, somewhere along the way, they began communicating amazingly well with each other. But, it seems like such a long road. I think you're making the right choice by not interfering.
Okay, here's my Codie issue of the moment.
My son's hobby is art/painting. He had some interest in his art from a very funky, avant-garde art gallery. He's had three paintings at the gallery for several months. I don't know if any have sold yet. He's having a gallery opening, a one-night stand show of all his art work in a couple of months and all the family will be showing up. I keep thinking how will he feel if nothing sells? Won't he be heartbroken? My husband says, well, maybe it will be a dose of reality (son is 32) that he should make a decision about spending time, money and effort on art. I agree, but...I want to figure out a way to buy some paintings without him knowing it was me.
OMG this never ends!
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