November 2009 Group Pt 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 218
Day 78.
We lost electricity and hot water in our apartment yesterday, so landlord moved us. The new apartment is very cozy. Our old one was VERY run down and not worth the money I was spending on it. We are settling in very nicely… although I had to take the second half of my day off to move.
The first half of my day was equally eventful. The rude supervisor I told you guy about was on fire this morning. I arrived to work with a complete out of line scathing email. I read it dumbfounded and thought, “I’m on paternity leave, I don’t need to take this… in fact… I’m a professional with ten year experience and a month about from my masters… I shouldn’t let people talk to me that way.” I quickly did the math, I have enough sick and annual leave to take off the rest of my time here… although, I don’t want to use up all of my accrued leave, the fact remains… I don’t have to work… so I’m certainly not going to stick around and be degraded for the betterment of some else’s self image.
So, I took a calculated risk. I responded.
I apologized for the misunderstanding and that I speculated on the reason of our miscommunication, “this is not an issue with my inability to do my job,” as she implied, “this is a communication style issue that is causing a problem work flow.” I then identified a protocol change that I felt would solve future occurrences of this situation. And finally I said, “In the future as issues pop up I was very receptive to exploring suitable solutions in the spirit of team work, but not through emails of questionable tone.”
Send.
I waited for her response… which was going to determine whether I walked out the door or not. She responded with a half apology… which is all you ever get from the folks I work with. But, she gave me another dig saying something like, “these are basic job functions for your position, I should be able to expect them to be gone correctly.”
I responded by pacifying her yet being blunt: “I understand your frustration; I am extremely frustrated by this matter as well. Yes, you should have high expectations of things being correct. One of my basic job functions is identifying and solving work flow issues, which I have done, and I am confident that implementation of this new system will negate future occurrences.”
She apologized again and was very polite the rest of the day. I stayed very even headed (since I really didn’t have anything to lose… I’ll never see this woman after I leave London… and what? I can declare paternity leave and walk at any moment… but for now, I’m still working.)
My wife was horrified when I told her. “Who in the worlds start verbally attacking people before stopping to think, “huh, I wonder why this is happening, maybe I should ask.”
Who know.
Much, non-baby love to everyone! Have a nice and relaxing night!
-Tytan
We lost electricity and hot water in our apartment yesterday, so landlord moved us. The new apartment is very cozy. Our old one was VERY run down and not worth the money I was spending on it. We are settling in very nicely… although I had to take the second half of my day off to move.
The first half of my day was equally eventful. The rude supervisor I told you guy about was on fire this morning. I arrived to work with a complete out of line scathing email. I read it dumbfounded and thought, “I’m on paternity leave, I don’t need to take this… in fact… I’m a professional with ten year experience and a month about from my masters… I shouldn’t let people talk to me that way.” I quickly did the math, I have enough sick and annual leave to take off the rest of my time here… although, I don’t want to use up all of my accrued leave, the fact remains… I don’t have to work… so I’m certainly not going to stick around and be degraded for the betterment of some else’s self image.
So, I took a calculated risk. I responded.
I apologized for the misunderstanding and that I speculated on the reason of our miscommunication, “this is not an issue with my inability to do my job,” as she implied, “this is a communication style issue that is causing a problem work flow.” I then identified a protocol change that I felt would solve future occurrences of this situation. And finally I said, “In the future as issues pop up I was very receptive to exploring suitable solutions in the spirit of team work, but not through emails of questionable tone.”
Send.
I waited for her response… which was going to determine whether I walked out the door or not. She responded with a half apology… which is all you ever get from the folks I work with. But, she gave me another dig saying something like, “these are basic job functions for your position, I should be able to expect them to be gone correctly.”
I responded by pacifying her yet being blunt: “I understand your frustration; I am extremely frustrated by this matter as well. Yes, you should have high expectations of things being correct. One of my basic job functions is identifying and solving work flow issues, which I have done, and I am confident that implementation of this new system will negate future occurrences.”
She apologized again and was very polite the rest of the day. I stayed very even headed (since I really didn’t have anything to lose… I’ll never see this woman after I leave London… and what? I can declare paternity leave and walk at any moment… but for now, I’m still working.)
My wife was horrified when I told her. “Who in the worlds start verbally attacking people before stopping to think, “huh, I wonder why this is happening, maybe I should ask.”
Who know.
Much, non-baby love to everyone! Have a nice and relaxing night!
-Tytan
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 612
Tytan, That was a b***h of a day! I am so glad to be out of that type of environment. I was for many years. It's fine, and can be great, if you report to someone you really respect. Conversely, if there is no respect, it can be awfully frustrating.
Love to you and your family too!!
Love to you and your family too!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,006
Hey gang,
It sounded like the weekend went well for everyone.
Sorry about the work situtation, Tytan. It can be so challenging with people like that. I honestly don't know how I would handle it?
My weekend was good. I had 60 days on Sunday, and I'm kind of meh about the whole thing. I feel like I need to step it up or something, because I feel like I'm getting comfortable and stagnant...which will lead to, well, drinking...I think. Or maybe not? Maybe I've conquered this thing. Maybe quitting alcohol was like quitting smoking for me. I finally quit and I stayed quit. The end.
Bahahah! Um, no. I do need to step it up. Meetings, I think. Praying? Oh, the thought of it makes me angry. I don't know. I'm drifting. But doing well overall. Exercising, being more social, productive at work and home. Ech. I don't know. Asta, I think I'm going to order the Small Book.
Be well all
spryte
It sounded like the weekend went well for everyone.
Sorry about the work situtation, Tytan. It can be so challenging with people like that. I honestly don't know how I would handle it?
My weekend was good. I had 60 days on Sunday, and I'm kind of meh about the whole thing. I feel like I need to step it up or something, because I feel like I'm getting comfortable and stagnant...which will lead to, well, drinking...I think. Or maybe not? Maybe I've conquered this thing. Maybe quitting alcohol was like quitting smoking for me. I finally quit and I stayed quit. The end.
Bahahah! Um, no. I do need to step it up. Meetings, I think. Praying? Oh, the thought of it makes me angry. I don't know. I'm drifting. But doing well overall. Exercising, being more social, productive at work and home. Ech. I don't know. Asta, I think I'm going to order the Small Book.
Be well all
spryte
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Yep Tytan...sounds like you handled it just right. People can be such a pain!
Wow Spryte...60 days! That's awesome! I had to smile at your 'the thought of praying making you angry'. I know what you mean. I'm not a spiritual person, tho often times I wish I were, as I think there's definitely something to it. I pray sometimes..tho I don't know to who or what. I just think saying things out loud and the feeling of reaching out can be beneficial. I guess what I mean is that I think the benefits come more from the internal than external factors. Either way, I try it sometimes.
I think getting a new book when you're feeling stagnant is a great idea. They can bring back inspiration. I've got a couple on my list cuz I need some inspiration big time. I slipped back into old habits, and worse than that, I haven't really cared. I need a major kick in the ass..feeling better about things today, though.
Glad you're all doing well...and super glad you're here!
Linda
Wow Spryte...60 days! That's awesome! I had to smile at your 'the thought of praying making you angry'. I know what you mean. I'm not a spiritual person, tho often times I wish I were, as I think there's definitely something to it. I pray sometimes..tho I don't know to who or what. I just think saying things out loud and the feeling of reaching out can be beneficial. I guess what I mean is that I think the benefits come more from the internal than external factors. Either way, I try it sometimes.
I think getting a new book when you're feeling stagnant is a great idea. They can bring back inspiration. I've got a couple on my list cuz I need some inspiration big time. I slipped back into old habits, and worse than that, I haven't really cared. I need a major kick in the ass..feeling better about things today, though.
Glad you're all doing well...and super glad you're here!
Linda
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 218
Day 79… and still no baby. Although my wife asked me to step back to working half days, which is fine by me! Lol. I figure he’ll make his way out soon… or else I will have to return the birthstone pendant I gave my wife for Christmas. I know, I know… I probably jinxed it… but the due date was Jan 20! Who would have through we’d make it to February? Okay… four more days left… we can do it!
Asta, you are right on. I don’t really understand why some people think they need to lead by fear and tyranny… if someone is going to be a jerk to me I’m really not motivated to make them look good. Frankly, I don’t want to do anything for them. But, if you treat me with respect and kindness I will take a bullet for you. Loyalty is a privilege not a right. I have had some bosses I would take a bullet for… none of resent.
Spryte, I’m feeling pretty stagnant too… and you are right, it a dangerous place to be. I just sat down from reading my four year old to sleep… well… I usually read a couple books and then lay with him until he falls asleep… in know, it’s a bad habit… but once you’ve been doing it for four years it isn’t a huge deal. Anyway, while I was laying there in the dark tonight, all I could think about was drinking a beer. And how nice it would be… and wondering if I just had one if I was not strange enough not to move onto number two. Erg… why not right? Erg… no… I gotta keep going. Literally, I pack my life full of projects… keep my hands full so I don’t have time to drink.
Books are helpful. I turned my ipod into an e-reader and I’ve been downloading books and reading like crazy. It’s been a life saver. I used to read in bed to fall asleep, but lighting became an issue. Especially when we’re co-sleeping with our son. I normally wasn’t tired when my wife goes to bed, so I would stay up and watch tv and normally end up drinking until way later than any normal person… but with the e-reader, the screen is back lit, no need for a lamp or an overhead light. I just read to the soft glow… it doesn’t both anyone else in the bed… it’s nice.
Asta, you are right on. I don’t really understand why some people think they need to lead by fear and tyranny… if someone is going to be a jerk to me I’m really not motivated to make them look good. Frankly, I don’t want to do anything for them. But, if you treat me with respect and kindness I will take a bullet for you. Loyalty is a privilege not a right. I have had some bosses I would take a bullet for… none of resent.
Spryte, I’m feeling pretty stagnant too… and you are right, it a dangerous place to be. I just sat down from reading my four year old to sleep… well… I usually read a couple books and then lay with him until he falls asleep… in know, it’s a bad habit… but once you’ve been doing it for four years it isn’t a huge deal. Anyway, while I was laying there in the dark tonight, all I could think about was drinking a beer. And how nice it would be… and wondering if I just had one if I was not strange enough not to move onto number two. Erg… why not right? Erg… no… I gotta keep going. Literally, I pack my life full of projects… keep my hands full so I don’t have time to drink.
Books are helpful. I turned my ipod into an e-reader and I’ve been downloading books and reading like crazy. It’s been a life saver. I used to read in bed to fall asleep, but lighting became an issue. Especially when we’re co-sleeping with our son. I normally wasn’t tired when my wife goes to bed, so I would stay up and watch tv and normally end up drinking until way later than any normal person… but with the e-reader, the screen is back lit, no need for a lamp or an overhead light. I just read to the soft glow… it doesn’t both anyone else in the bed… it’s nice.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 612
Just checking in. Had another counseling appointment today. 2 more authorized by insurance. I'm in limbo about renewal on anti-deps however. Apparently my doc neglected to put it in my chart that he prescribed them (with 1 refill). Now I am almost out of the last refill. Nurse is checking into it. Sometimes I think they help & sometimes not. Hope everyone had a good day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,006
Linda, I've decided to start meditating. So, that's kind of on track with the 'internal' benefits. Meditation is a great stress reliever. Science says so...lol...maybe after a while inspiration will strike. Also, I am going to try some interesting reading. Maybe The Small Book, or a book on Buddhism? I have a couple of those
It's strange how sobriety can turn from hell, to heaven, to huh? whatever! so quickly isn't it? I think that coming round here is a way to keep on the road. I'm glad you had a good day!
Tytan, aw shucks! that's so sweet about your son...and those e-readers...hmmm...I am hearing more and more great things about them. I am a slow adapter to new technology but a big book lover, so this might be something that I actually buy before it's almost obsolete.
4 more days!
Asta, that sucks about the anti-d's. I find that nurses usually come through, but I say that looking back on my experience. They can sometimes be clipped and impatient, b/c they are so busy, so in the moment I often wonder whether they've really taken note of my concerns that I need addressed. I think they will come through. Hang in there!
It's strange how sobriety can turn from hell, to heaven, to huh? whatever! so quickly isn't it? I think that coming round here is a way to keep on the road. I'm glad you had a good day!
Tytan, aw shucks! that's so sweet about your son...and those e-readers...hmmm...I am hearing more and more great things about them. I am a slow adapter to new technology but a big book lover, so this might be something that I actually buy before it's almost obsolete.
4 more days!
Asta, that sucks about the anti-d's. I find that nurses usually come through, but I say that looking back on my experience. They can sometimes be clipped and impatient, b/c they are so busy, so in the moment I often wonder whether they've really taken note of my concerns that I need addressed. I think they will come through. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 612
Spryte: It sounds like you and I are really on the same page. I'm going to start my Buddhism for Dummies tonight. I'm basically an atheist but feel there is something missing somewhere. Maybe I'm like a "flounder", floating on it's side, not really ready to swim upright. Don't know. Something is missing. I know I can't buy the HP concept and can't buy the Bible except as a compendium of various carried down lores. I've read lot of the Bible for educational type purposes, but have a real problem. My moods are so up and down lately.... I don't know where the h**l I am or am intended to be. My clam chowder is probably hot by now so I should eat. Also going to have some cheese bread & a little salad. I have really gotten into the Asian Sesame salad dressing lately. Best to all and hope tomorrow is a good day. I have high hopes but who the H**l knows. TTFN (TaTaForNow)
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Tytan, what is wrong? That had to be the shortest post in your SR career!
Just popping in to say hello......good to see you are all doing well......we all still face the obstacles in life......but it's smoother sailing without having to deal with all that goes with the drinking game.
Day 21 here......feeling pretty darn good and sleeping like a rock!! Nice.
Hugs. :ghug3
Just popping in to say hello......good to see you are all doing well......we all still face the obstacles in life......but it's smoother sailing without having to deal with all that goes with the drinking game.
Day 21 here......feeling pretty darn good and sleeping like a rock!! Nice.
Hugs. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 218
Day 81. Sorry to be so brief, everything is fine. I am just dog tired. I have a pretty rigorous writing schedule for my thesis and I really only have time to write after everyone goes to bed… I’m pretty exhausted, And still baby-less.
Although the thesis has turned into another great excuse. My aunt and uncle are in town. We get together every year… and we normal wine and dine quite a bit. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say about not drinking anymore… plus, my cousin, their youngest is now old enough to drink and was excited about having a beer at a pub with me. Well, I quickly turned my thesis into the excuse… “I promised my self I wouldn’t drink until I finish my paper, I only have time to write at night and if I drink something during the day I won’t be motivated to write.” My aunt and uncle are both college professors with doctorate degrees and they totally understand my sentiment. So, I’m in the clear and my cousin thinks its funny that can drink in proxy for me.
Anyway, peace out everyone! Two more days until my wife birth stone pendant become obsolete! Cross your fingers!
Although the thesis has turned into another great excuse. My aunt and uncle are in town. We get together every year… and we normal wine and dine quite a bit. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say about not drinking anymore… plus, my cousin, their youngest is now old enough to drink and was excited about having a beer at a pub with me. Well, I quickly turned my thesis into the excuse… “I promised my self I wouldn’t drink until I finish my paper, I only have time to write at night and if I drink something during the day I won’t be motivated to write.” My aunt and uncle are both college professors with doctorate degrees and they totally understand my sentiment. So, I’m in the clear and my cousin thinks its funny that can drink in proxy for me.
Anyway, peace out everyone! Two more days until my wife birth stone pendant become obsolete! Cross your fingers!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 612
Tytan, Birthstones aren't that important. Whether is topaz or opal (mine) or whatever. The thought behind it is what matters. It may become even a family legend! What's really important is the health of the baby and the care and enjoyment you get from it. As well, as your other little one. Think how excited he will be. There may be jealousy at first, but then he will become the baby's BIG BROTHER. I never had a big brother, but did have a big sister who wanted to borrow my clothes all the time. Trouble was, she was a couple sizes bigger and would stretch them out. End of story, we really aren't that close.
I can't emphasize as much how much I envy you. I have ton's of pics of my daughter (almost 29) when she was a baby and toddler. I took most of the pics so there are not a lot of the 2 of us together. Her dad & I separated when she was about 5. Point being, take plenty of pics with your kids with both of you. You won't regret it. I'm a pretty organizational freak, so I have all these photo albums (with dates marked on the outside). She has been quite proud of me for not drinking (at least cutting back). And I'm hoping to make abstinence permanent. One day she will have children and I want to be there to babysit without any qualms on her part.
I can't emphasize as much how much I envy you. I have ton's of pics of my daughter (almost 29) when she was a baby and toddler. I took most of the pics so there are not a lot of the 2 of us together. Her dad & I separated when she was about 5. Point being, take plenty of pics with your kids with both of you. You won't regret it. I'm a pretty organizational freak, so I have all these photo albums (with dates marked on the outside). She has been quite proud of me for not drinking (at least cutting back). And I'm hoping to make abstinence permanent. One day she will have children and I want to be there to babysit without any qualms on her part.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
I'm a big album person, too, Asta. Even in this digital age, I've done a good job of printing pics and putting them in albums. My mom did it when we were kids and I like looking at them, so hopefully the boys will appreciate it some day, too!
Where's that dang baby???
Where's that dang baby???
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,006
Hi Gang,
Just checking in. I hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine was pleasant. Australian Open finals were on - I love tennis.
I am feeling drained tonight. I went to a meeting and spoke and had a bit of an anxiety attack while speaking, shortness of breath - gasping for breath really, but I got through it. No anxiety about speaking itself, but about all the **** in the past and what I was talking about. This is not a bed of roses that I have made for myself. But the committment to not drinking has to stay. I can't go back. I'm giving up on the HP thing for now. Meditation, and meetings. That's all I'm doing.
Tytan, update us if you get a chance!
Be well, all
Just checking in. I hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine was pleasant. Australian Open finals were on - I love tennis.
I am feeling drained tonight. I went to a meeting and spoke and had a bit of an anxiety attack while speaking, shortness of breath - gasping for breath really, but I got through it. No anxiety about speaking itself, but about all the **** in the past and what I was talking about. This is not a bed of roses that I have made for myself. But the committment to not drinking has to stay. I can't go back. I'm giving up on the HP thing for now. Meditation, and meetings. That's all I'm doing.
Tytan, update us if you get a chance!
Be well, all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Belgrade, Serbia
Posts: 218
Day 85.
I spoke too soon two days ago. We are with baby!!!! Born January 31st, 4:25pm! (Hurray, I don’t have to re-do the setting of my wife’s jewelry, LOL)
We’ve spent two nights at the hospital and just got home so this will be a short post… more tomorrow.
Oh, 9 lbs, 5 oz. All natural, zero medication, zero ripping… my wife is a bada--
All are safe and happy.
-Tytan
I spoke too soon two days ago. We are with baby!!!! Born January 31st, 4:25pm! (Hurray, I don’t have to re-do the setting of my wife’s jewelry, LOL)
We’ve spent two nights at the hospital and just got home so this will be a short post… more tomorrow.
Oh, 9 lbs, 5 oz. All natural, zero medication, zero ripping… my wife is a bada--
All are safe and happy.
-Tytan
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