Dee74

You'll play better sober LR

D

Dean62

Struggling today, the idea of drinking is real to me again. I am going to work for the night and I'm not going to the liquor store on the way.

That's my plan.

Dee74

at the end of the day, L...it's whatever it takes.
Stay safe, mate

D

Dean62

Thanks Dee. I'm home and going to sleep soon. The insane idea of drinking has backed off.

humblestudent

Hi all! Tomorrow is day 60 for me! I think I've had 9 sober weekends now. That was just unimaginable to me 60 days ago. I really don't think about alcohol so much anymore. It all felt very weird when I first quit, like suddenly breathing water instead of air. But now, I'm used to it, and find the time flying by.

I told my son yesterday, and my best friend of 19 years today. I thought I was fooling them both - I wasn't. My friend said that she felt responsible because she never confronted me about her suspicions. That made me feel so sad, because my alcoholism is absolutely in NO WAY anyone else's fault. I am going to apologize to her for being absent at times from our friendship. I did tell her today that I'm going to be able to be a better friend.

I find myself thinking that I don't really 'need' alcohol anymore, and truly don't want it. I don't want an express ticket to the shame, guilt and lack of control that I was living with. I imagine my internal organs are loving their new alcohol free environment. When I look at my drinking with this new perspective I have, I just can't imagine what the hell was so great about it (other than that very short lived euphoria/relief as my brain was checking out, shutting down, and telling me I was the belle of the ball). And I do not want to go back. As time goes by I feel like I continue to have "aha" moments. I am so grateful for my new life. Things may not be perfect, but they are crystal clear, and I remember every single waking moment now. And I am learning to love myself, just a little, and it feels pretty darn good.

Krodos

Checking in.

Its day 52, and I am still doing very good. I remember when I used to drink and I would get a day off work or something and I felt that if I didn't drink I was wasting my day. Funny that I had it the otherway around.

I quit okaying World of Warcraft at the same time I quit drinking and I am happy to say that I am at day 52 of not playing that damned game either.. although if I ever relapse back to playing wow it would be far less worrysome then drinking again.

LimaCharlie

That game did almost as much damage to my relationship as alcohol did. I quit WOW first, alcohol second. Way too easy to drink and play all night.

Dean62

It's great to see so many people staying sober here. Day 28 for me.

postparty82

BUMP!

Day 43 for me! I finally went to a Dr. and am having blood tests on 3/17 which I find fitting... since I'm going to see how my liver enzymes are on St. Patty's Day. Got put on high blood pressure and anxiety pills while at Dr. which had been problems for me (that I knew I had all this time) brought on by alcohol over the last 4 years or so. However, while drinking I didn't care about my health; only about getting to the liquor store before midnight. Still scared of the blood tests. I'm only 27, but I still feel my liver sitting there sometimes and I've been sober this long... so I don't know... It has gotten better as I don't feel it 24/7, but can just can feel it mostly at night going to bed.

I have a new job interview on Thurs morning and I know I'm gonna be less anxious because I won't be attending the interview having a hangover/ withdrawals so hopefully it will go well. That about it, keep in touch Jan '10

GreenerPastures

Today is day 58 for me. I can hardly believe it.

So many things have changed for me - clarity of mind, healthier outlook, etc. What I am most proud of is even through a bad break-up, an potential move next month, stress at work and having no time for friends these days, I have not reached for any type of alcohol. I sometimes want to drink, but then I think of the repercussions of having the first one and what that would do for me... nothing. I somehow have managed to associate alcohol with disruptions in my daily living. It has so far worked for me. I think before I drink now No matter how bad things get, I just remind myself of how I used to be. I don't ever want to go back to drinking by myself to alleviate the stresses of life or dealing with my problems in this way. Sometimes feeling is better even when it hurts the most - it helps you to find solutions to problems and I have realized I can only do this sans alcohol. This is what I have learned thus far. Took me forever to get it though.

Sobriety Date 1/4/2010

postparty82

Greener- I think that with all of us addicts it is so hard to quit because of the fact that we rely on the drink/ drug to help us deal with all uncomfortable things in our lives and when we get sober there are still problems there for us and no coping skills to fall back on. Add to the fact that most of us drank alone and it makes its THAT much harder because when you go home at the end of the day and there are problems in ur life then you have that battle inside ur head to deal with. The alcoholic says "feed me" and the rational sober/ healthy person has to say "no" and win the battle every single day. Its taxing, but you're right it gets soooooo much easier and much better as every day goes on. You are doing such a great job! 58 days is something to be proud of!!!!

Omega10

Just checking in with the class. Been having a rough couple of days to start the week. No danger of relapse or anything, but I have not been myself. I am normally an optimist and try to see the good in every situation, but I've just been so down. Barely have talked at the office, have only been "speaking when spoken to". Having troubles concentrating and understanding people - to the point that one of the project leads in my office took me into a room and asked if I was okay. I forget things, too, like I could not remember if I had brushed my teeth before leaving for work. Yesterday I had to write a note on the screen of my phone to remember to pay my property taxes. I hope this passes soon, as I prefer my normal jokey, chatty self. Not this walking zombie that I seem to be right now.

AaronK

Day 51.....yaaaaaay.

Bad news is I threw my back out in the gym on Saturday and spent the next three days in bed. Getting better on all fronts.

northfork

Day 33 for me, feeling fine except for this case of gout. C'mon, who gets gout after quitting drinking? I think it's some sort of cruel joke . It's been 4 days of pain now, just want it to go away!!!

Krodos

I'm starting to lose track, but I believe that since it is after midnight I have made it to day 64,

I've been doing quite well, no drinks. But I am disturbed this last week because I've felt a voice in my head that seems to be trying to convince me that I can go back to being a social drinker. I know that I can't... oh maybe I could for a little while.. but we all now where I would end up in due time.

I usually just read the forums here and remind myself that it would never be "just a drink or two" and I can shut that addict voice up. With the warm weather coming I will have to remain strong, because there will be more social settings to be offered a drink in.

I am kind of doing this alone, (well not totally since I have SR) No AA or meetings or what have you. And the only person in real life who knows I have quit is my wife. I'm rather proud of the fact I have come this far on my own.

LimaCharlie

I have two days on you Krudos and have the same feelings right now. Not drinking has been easy, almost too easy. I kind of get sad lately thinking that I'm not going to drink anymore. I think about grilling out this summer or going to a concert which I associate with drinking and fun. Then I feel a little bummed because I know that won't work for me or at least I don't want to try to be a social drinker anytime soon. Kind of sucks.

On a good note, my job, personal life, physique, sleep, etc. have all improved since quitting. So I am proud of that.

Krodos

Exactly how I feel!

I find it very easy to not drink, the craving are really a on-issue, but I miss it. And like you said I feel kind of sad that I will not be sitting by the pool with a drink in my hand this summer.

Maybe we romanticizing it.. just not thinking of all the negative this that go with that drink

LimaCharlie

I think you are right on. The brain favors good memories instead of the bad. I know there were a lot of negatives for me compared to positives especially the last year or two. It's a challenge to keep perspective long-term.

NewMe11109

Krodos and LimaCharlie - glad you are both doing well.

From a January 2009 guy, let me say that the "feeling bad about not drinking" goes away when you actively work a program of recovery. I'm not saying that I never have a craving, but it quickly passes. I really like my combo of SR + AA + helping other alcoholics. This mix keeps my brain thinking the right thoughts and helps me silence any voices telling me that I am well enough to drink now.

Great work!

NewMe

postparty82

Good Job everyone!

Well tomorrow is day 60 for me! Its been a long road, but has been getting easier. I did feel really depressed about it last week because my roomate(non-alc) had people over to drink and I felt like an outcast. I played PS3 and barely talked to anyone. I kept wishing I had never become an alcoholic so that I could drink every so often aka "socially" like so many other people I know can. When it came down to it, the idea of not drinking "forever" really scared and depressed me. Like LimaCharlie and Krodos I started thinking of all the events coming up this year that I couldn't drink at and it scared me. At the end of the day, I did refrain from having a drink and have for 59 days!

I hope everyone checks in so maybe we can build some sort of "class list" of those who are still sober from 1/10