Class of January 2010
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Originally Posted by din 
Ok, yes....Ms procrastinator has gotten off her duff and checked into some local meetings (No, have not went, just trying to get organized time wise)
You won't regret it.
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Wanting a drink and not wanting a drink at the same time, non alcoholics don't get that.
Good morning intent and everyone in the January thread. Well done on 2 weeks Omega10.
I can relate and understand the cravings but I am in a different place at this stage of the disease. I don't really get cravings anymore but I don't really need them to pick up a drink, not sure if that makes sense to anyone here. It's more of a slow motion warping of the mind until one day it just snaps and I'm off to the races.
Ok enough of that kind of talk for me because I am happy to be alive today and I am looking forward to a wonderful day. I have no plans, just going to let it play out and enjoy it.
I hope everyone is doing well today. Take care.
Good morning intent and everyone in the January thread. Well done on 2 weeks Omega10.
I can relate and understand the cravings but I am in a different place at this stage of the disease. I don't really get cravings anymore but I don't really need them to pick up a drink, not sure if that makes sense to anyone here. It's more of a slow motion warping of the mind until one day it just snaps and I'm off to the races.
Ok enough of that kind of talk for me because I am happy to be alive today and I am looking forward to a wonderful day. I have no plans, just going to let it play out and enjoy it.
I hope everyone is doing well today. Take care.
~ still a believer ~
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 141
UGH*
okay, so I honestly Dont crave (havent since I was about 2 weeks sober)
so I guess what I am now going to start confronting is more "triggers" ??
although I run my own biz, I also had several lil 4oz bottle of whiskey stashed in numerous spots at work (had being the operative word here) so out of no where, somebody (an employee I also call son) PO'd me to no end.......and out of the clear blue, it dawned on me (5 weeks ago, I would have been doing a shot......or two, at that given moment to...."regroup") and no, didnt matter the time of day one way or another.
So the new thing to address, is the Triggers and my emotional state at the time of them.
(and yes, I already realize that this is the part of "the meetings" that right now I am missing) which is why I need to get my arse in gear and get on with the 4th step.
lil steps D, lil steps
okay, so I honestly Dont crave (havent since I was about 2 weeks sober)
so I guess what I am now going to start confronting is more "triggers" ??
although I run my own biz, I also had several lil 4oz bottle of whiskey stashed in numerous spots at work (had being the operative word here) so out of no where, somebody (an employee I also call son) PO'd me to no end.......and out of the clear blue, it dawned on me (5 weeks ago, I would have been doing a shot......or two, at that given moment to...."regroup") and no, didnt matter the time of day one way or another.
So the new thing to address, is the Triggers and my emotional state at the time of them.
(and yes, I already realize that this is the part of "the meetings" that right now I am missing) which is why I need to get my arse in gear and get on with the 4th step.
lil steps D, lil steps
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 241
Hi everyone
Dean62..I can relate to that!
I don't usually crave alcohol either, but my mind will gradually turn until 'snap' of I go and no one or nothing can stop me.
Glad I'm not there now...just 10 days sober for me and I am really enjoying the peace and the magic of waking every morning after a good nights sleep and not feeling guilty and obsessed all day long about drinking again, what I might have said, what I might have done, and, did I embarass anyone.
Sobriety is good
Dean62..I can relate to that!
I don't usually crave alcohol either, but my mind will gradually turn until 'snap' of I go and no one or nothing can stop me.
Glad I'm not there now...just 10 days sober for me and I am really enjoying the peace and the magic of waking every morning after a good nights sleep and not feeling guilty and obsessed all day long about drinking again, what I might have said, what I might have done, and, did I embarass anyone.
Sobriety is good
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern Ontario
Posts: 109
Day 26 in the bag.
I had a few thoughts of just having a drink or two enter my mind today, and had to collect myself until they passed.
I like the extra money I save, I like being able to get in that car at 10pm and go somewhere if I need to, I like being out somewhere and not rushing it so that I can go home and drink... and I LOVE waking up feeling good and no guilt too much to ruin all that with "a few drinks"
Not worth it.
I had a few thoughts of just having a drink or two enter my mind today, and had to collect myself until they passed.
I like the extra money I save, I like being able to get in that car at 10pm and go somewhere if I need to, I like being out somewhere and not rushing it so that I can go home and drink... and I LOVE waking up feeling good and no guilt too much to ruin all that with "a few drinks"
Not worth it.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11
30 Days today!
30 days sober today! Feel good, lost weight, cravings much less now. Good to be able to do things at night instead of drinking. Pace of life generally slower as don't have to rush home to drink.
Starting to take more of an interest in things around me; the countryside, sounds, smells, the wife and children.
Starting to take more of an interest in things around me; the countryside, sounds, smells, the wife and children.
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Welcome SamanthaC, glad you joined us. Always good to see you Dee. How is everyone doing today?
I have already gone from, "I don't think I can stop" to "I am so grateful I am sober" to, "Ok I got this"......ugh.....
I don't have anything alone, my tack record is pretty solid on that.
It looks like a pretty middle of the road day for me, not great, not bad, kinda blah but I'll take that over the drinking.
Take care everyone.
I have already gone from, "I don't think I can stop" to "I am so grateful I am sober" to, "Ok I got this"......ugh.....
I don't have anything alone, my tack record is pretty solid on that.
It looks like a pretty middle of the road day for me, not great, not bad, kinda blah but I'll take that over the drinking.
Take care everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 256
Well, weekend # 5 with no drinking. Yay! Had interesting experience...went to a bar with friends on Friday night. Of course, seeing the bar itself with the pretty bottles and lighting was a bit of a trigger. But, it wasn't bad. It was more like, I noticed the automatic feeling it evoked, but let it pass.
Then, I sat with my soda while watching all of my friends get hammered. I also watched all the others in the bar and how they drank. I'm happy to say, for the first time, I wasn't upset or jealous that I "couldn't" drink. I was fine and solid with my decision...
Couple of other things I noticed:
1) My friends drunk are really boring to me. The repeat themselves, and cannot focus, and so cannot truly connect or interact with a sober person (me). I had the sense of saying, "Wow...is this all there is...(to drinking)." NOT THAT I'M JUDGING THEM. God knows what all they put up with from me over the years. One person I noticed has a drinking problem...I can tell. Never saw this with my vodka goggles on. I watched them drink - watched how they drank, and thought, I am staring at myself.
2) I totally didn't begrudge them their drinking - I was in a very zen, live and let live mind set. I was truly happy with my decision.
3) In watching others drinking at the bar, I noticed that no one else was really "out of control" like I always was. While drunk, I always had the perception that everyone drank like I did. Guess what...they don't. This was a new realization for me, and helped to solidify the fact that wow...yes...I really was totally in another universe when it came to drinking, and yes, I am truly an alcoholic.
4) I watched my husband drink, and he only had a couple of beers and was semi-bored like I was. I wondered what it was like for him before, having to 'deal' with me being so out of control for so long. And also, wondered what it was like for him that evening, not having to baby sit me. Again, just gave me some interesting perspective.
Then, I sat with my soda while watching all of my friends get hammered. I also watched all the others in the bar and how they drank. I'm happy to say, for the first time, I wasn't upset or jealous that I "couldn't" drink. I was fine and solid with my decision...
Couple of other things I noticed:
1) My friends drunk are really boring to me. The repeat themselves, and cannot focus, and so cannot truly connect or interact with a sober person (me). I had the sense of saying, "Wow...is this all there is...(to drinking)." NOT THAT I'M JUDGING THEM. God knows what all they put up with from me over the years. One person I noticed has a drinking problem...I can tell. Never saw this with my vodka goggles on. I watched them drink - watched how they drank, and thought, I am staring at myself.
2) I totally didn't begrudge them their drinking - I was in a very zen, live and let live mind set. I was truly happy with my decision.
3) In watching others drinking at the bar, I noticed that no one else was really "out of control" like I always was. While drunk, I always had the perception that everyone drank like I did. Guess what...they don't. This was a new realization for me, and helped to solidify the fact that wow...yes...I really was totally in another universe when it came to drinking, and yes, I am truly an alcoholic.
4) I watched my husband drink, and he only had a couple of beers and was semi-bored like I was. I wondered what it was like for him before, having to 'deal' with me being so out of control for so long. And also, wondered what it was like for him that evening, not having to baby sit me. Again, just gave me some interesting perspective.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 27
Thank you, Dee and Dean!
humblestudent, that was a great post. What have you told your friends about why you're not drinking? I'm struggling with that right now.
I've been in drinking situations with friends too. I actually find I laugh more because I am a) not guzzling a depressant and b) am not worrying about how much I am drinking and whether or not anyone is noticing.
humblestudent, that was a great post. What have you told your friends about why you're not drinking? I'm struggling with that right now.
I've been in drinking situations with friends too. I actually find I laugh more because I am a) not guzzling a depressant and b) am not worrying about how much I am drinking and whether or not anyone is noticing.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Humblestudent,
Great post. Thanks for the insight.
I have yet to be out socially since getting sober and it is not something I want to do in a hurry but I did visit a friend yesterday who had a really bad hangover. She looked terrible and could barely speak and move. It was like looking in the mirror at the past me.
I felt sorry for her but was so pleased that I never have to do that to myself again. What's the point?
Great post. Thanks for the insight.
I have yet to be out socially since getting sober and it is not something I want to do in a hurry but I did visit a friend yesterday who had a really bad hangover. She looked terrible and could barely speak and move. It was like looking in the mirror at the past me.
I felt sorry for her but was so pleased that I never have to do that to myself again. What's the point?
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