traderjane

Bananagrrrl -- that is so awesome!! 35 days and you feel so great and at peace with your decision. That is the inspiration I need to keep going.

For me it is helpful to think of alcohol as something that I did for a while, a long while, had my fun with it, and that it's just not fun anymore. My body is saying no, no, no in about a million different ways (has been for some time now) and I have been too stubborn to listen to it. Everyone is different, so for me it's not about believing in a higher power, or surrendering to alcohol, or any of that.... it's just the hard cold facts that alcohol isn't doing its magic anymore and that is a powerful toxin that my body is not accepting anymore. By trying to fight that, I'm doing a disservice to myself.

There was a quote from one of my recent yoga classes (those teachers always have such good words that stick with me). He said,

"Let it go. It's not serving you."

He was talking about anger and negativity in your life, but I liked taking it to mean alcohol as well. It is not serving me. Let it go.

ANEWAUGUST

Some really great posts here...I am taking my time re-reading them, and absorbing what everyone is sharing.

I had several years of sobriety before I blew it this past year.

When I was newly sober..quite frankly, the first year had alot of highs, and lows. Learning that day to day life isn't as colorful and exciting as I thought it was while I was drinking. Day to day living, is just that. I had to learn to find joy and excitement in some very routine things. I also learned that some days were just not very exciting and socially filled. At times, when I drank, I could create a little happy, party in my head...
but, I need to remember the party ends, and ends badly with a hangover, etc.

We all need to keep sharing how we get through the downtimes in order to string together the pearls of our sober days.

Chameleonboy..thanks for sharing the picture. That truly is a beautiful place..

bdiddy5522

So I didn't go on my 2 day road trip. My dad took it, so I am in the office for a couple days. Good to see so many awesome posts on here.

I had an interesting morning. My wife had to be to work at 7:00, so it was up to me to get our daughter ready to go. So I got up early, then I had to take my parents dog back to my parents as we were dog sitting for the weekend. So I got my daughter, dog loaded up, and my luggage (since I didn't find out until I got to the office I wasn't going) and as I am buckling our daughter in her car seat, my pants ripped. UGH, what a way to start a week! haha.

So this weekend will be tough. It is my best friends wedding this weekend, and I am a groomsman. All of my college boys will be there, and the alcohol will be flowing freely. I know if I don't drink, they won't understand. I mean, it is what we do. All through college and whenever we get together, it is for drinking.

ANEWAUGUST

bdiddy...

Sorry...but, your pants ripping just made me almost laugh out loud. I know those kinds of mornings., hope your day gets better.

About the weekend and the wedding, you might be able to tell them I am on some medication right now (cold, flu, allergy, whatever) that doesn't mix with alcohol. Hopefully they will understand, and not bug you too much about it, thats if you are not wanting to tell them you quit drinking.

Just a thought..

bdiddy5522

NEWAUGUST: Thanks for the tip. I may try something like that. I just don't think I am ready to tell them yet. We live all over the country, so not like I see them that much that it will be a constant struggle with them, ya know? We maybe all get together like once a year. Glad I could put a smile on your face. I mean, we might as well have some laughs together while we go through this journey, right? Life is not meant to be taken too seriously.

Beckles

helloooooooo to everyone.

Am loving all the threads, have just spent the last 45 minutes reading them all!!!

I'm so British, caught myself moaning about the weather today, ha ha, just so you all know, its dark, really cold, gale force winds and peeing down!!!! September is supposed to be nice!!!!

Think its day 12 for me, have decided to give up counting as I keep forgetting where I am, all I know is 90 days is roughly the end of November, so aiming for that to begin with.

Weighed myself today and oh my goodness, I thought not drinking would mean I would stop nibbling junk, but no, still nibbling, have discovered lemonade with lime, mmmmmmm and founds nuts and crisps go beautifully with it. Have got my bike out of the shed and dusted it down, am off out tomorrow for a little trek.

Its my youngest childs birthday on Thursday, will be 4, can't believe where that time has gone, spent 3.5 years of it drinking most evenings. :day1.

Anyway gotta go, have some reading to do for uni, and need to wrap presents and prepare party bags. My life is so exciting!!!!!! NOT.

Take care all and keep strong.

B
xx

ANEWAUGUST

Beckles..I think your life sounds very nice, and exciting.

ANEWAUGUST

What is everyone up to this evening??

I am about to leave work (I know..shouldn't be on SR at work)...swing by
the health food store, then home.

No cooking tonight, I made spaghetti yesterday, and some chicken and rice mexican soup..so, it will be a leftover buffet...hurray.

tallcactus

Going to a concert tonight, with son, his GF and another friend...Lynyrd skynyrd, the last time I saw them was in Germany, many moons ago...Starts at 8PM. A lawn concert, with lot's of
Have fun everyone, stay strong.

ANEWAUGUST

Tallcactus...

An outdoor concert sounds like fun..enjoy Skynard with your son and his girlfriend.

Hopefully it won't be too hot outside tonight.

traderjane

Have fun, TC!!!

I am doing great. Nothing much to add, but a busy day and played tennis with a work colleague after work. It was fun and we worked up quite a sweat!

Something feels different this time about my quitting drinking. Really different. Every time I even think of an alcoholic drink, my mind goes straight to the bad part instead of the good and I think -- NO WAY!!!! This is a new and very unusual feeling, as I usually tend to romanticize drinking after a few sober days under my belt. It just feels like something happened to me, and it's all very good.

Enough of my rambling... hope everyone is doing well.

L

ANEWAUGUST

Trader..sounds like tennis gave you a good workout.

I know what you mean about romanticizing the drink..I think that is what lead to me relapse. Instead you are playing the tape all the way through, to the end.

I haven't even thought about having a drink. I am more interested in getting fit and healthy, and enjoying this one precious life I have...

traderjane

That's exactly it!!! That's how I feel! There is too much to do, too many good things to be wasting my life drinking and hungover. And I was totally sabotaging my life before. It was all self-induced.

I see alcohol for what it IS now instead of what I WANTED it to be. Play the tape all the way through to the end -- I think that gets easier to do over time.

ANEWAUGUST

It is liberating to me to feel this way.

Instead of planning and plotting my drinking times...then, my hangover times...then, my drinking times. It occupied too much space in my head..in my life.

traderjane

I know it. It was very much crazy what I was doing before. Thinking things like, "Oh, I won't be hungover on Thursday because I have my yoga class on Wednesday night..." It is VERY liberating not to be hungover on ANY day of the week now.

One thing that is helping me now is a shift in the way I am thinking of alcohol from:

"I can't drink alcohol because I'm an alcoholic."

TO:

"I don't want to drink alcohol because it makes me sick."

It may sound like a subtle shift, but it's really quite liberating to get to the second way of thinking instead of the first. The first way of thinking was not working well for me, because I would keep talking myself out of the idea that I was an alcoholic. However, I can't argue with the second line of thinking EVER. It's absolutely true. I think it's going to be my ticket out of this mess.

ANEWAUGUST

I will readily admit I am an alcoholic.

However, that doesn't define me.

I am many other things beside that.

I don't want to drink because I am an alcoholic, and it makes me sick..
its start a spiral for me downward.

I want me not-drinking, just to be a part of my life, my self-care, just as I try to excercise physically, and nourish my soul spiritually, and feed my body healthy.

I don't want to view it as something I am giving up...

as I am gaining my life.

PurpleCat

Looks like a great weekend for everyone. Yay. I'm PWS tonight (posting while sober).

ETA: changed the PWS - geez. Get the girl sober and she can no longer type. :P

traderjane

Agree with you ANEW!!! I think anything that you have in your mind that keeps you from drinking is good. We all have little mantras and things in our head that help us. I turned a corner just recently, and like you, have become very firm in my resolve that drinking is no good at all for me, and on about 1000 different levels.

Purple cat -- that is hysterical!!!

PWS = Posting while sober
PWD = we won't even go there.... been there, done that.

Good night...

Laura

ANEWAUGUST

Purplecat...you are too funny!!Glad to know that we don't have to charge you with a TUI tonight...although, if you are editing, maybe we need to get you a designated
typist.

thirtybubba

Nice, ChameleonBoy. Nice.

Well ya'll, I got 11 1/2 almost--but I'm in pyjamas, so yeah, I'm going to have 11 1/2.

Second longest time of sobriety on record for me since the 1980s! I'm eating a candy to celebrate.

Almost just tied my record. Figured out my roommates have been in my room, and left in a livid rage. Didn't know I was headed for the bar till I seen it. Then I wasn't sure either, my goal was to beat my record and I had it technically by a few hours. Didn't want to stop feeling good in the morning without liquor and finally getting to where I can sometimes sleep and sometimes at night. But all them days ahead of me, nigh on 3/4 of a year till I'm out of here, I get to wondering how long I can possibly last with my new triggers living with me.

On the other hand all my old triggers--waking up, class, between class, bored, happy, sad, lonely and bored at night, lonely and bored for weekends/days off--they seem to be gone. Replaced by moody roommates with evil high school mentalities--though not as juvenile as the first two.

Busied myself by preparing for graduation, hitting all sorts of departments and tying up loose ends. Talked to a few teachers about grad school, and a whole lotta other stuff. Joined 2 more clubs. Why not? Got into (another) fight with the test office. Now I gotta take another class, because I'm too stubborn to pay twice for something. So now I gotta pay more. Not too bright, but at least it's behavior I recognize... Sometimes I wonder who I am anymore.

Did not drink. Went to class, then I called my cousin up before going home, to reinforce me some more--I guess he's a virtual drink. He made me laugh, I walked in with my earphones and paid them no nevermind. Success! Ish.

One day at a time... Just a whole lot of days in front of me. A lot. It's hard to focus on grad school and be so very aware of dates next summer, and try to do this one day at a time thing at the same time. My mind gets to drifting sometimes, and I wonder if/why/what is going to happen by then. I know I shouldn't but it's so hard sometimes. Other times it doesn't cross my mind at all.

Read what everyone had to say, honestly can't remember a thing--too much studying makes my mind into a funnel, and I don't know where the facts go either. Probably where socks go at the laundromat.

Somewhere there are some very intelligent socks...

Take care y'all. And stay sober. It does have its benefits...

11 1/2 days in 4 hours. Silver medal for thirtybubba. Gold is two months.