Richard54

Aaahhh...A sober Sunday night and it feels wonderful.

Day 8 here I come, just enjoying a glass of my new favorite beverage,
Pellegrino and lime...

Found a 2nd favorite beverage now too.

It's called Paldo Aloe.

Comes in a big 1.5 Litre green bottle for about $3 ...supposed to be very good for the digestion.

It's from Korea and wow is it good!

It has pulped Aloe Vera gel in it, you can see the globs floating in the liquid, and they taste really cool.

You know the healing properties of Aloe for sunburn right?
Well, you drink this stuff and your insides are smiling at you..

ChameleonBoy

Hi everyone. I'm new to this thread but not the forum. I had some very interesting stuff happen over the weekend and......this is not something I would normally say, I have never said it but I have a feeling I may be done drinking.

I wish you all the best.

thirtybubba

Hey y'all, been a short minute, but lately I haven't felt much like doing anything. Like actually signing in, for instance.

Been staying sober, suffering a lot this time from the withdrawals. Even the medication doesn't seem to be helping--or worse, it is helping and this is only part of what I would be facing otherwise. I think this might be my last dance, and that scares me with my track record. I'm not very good at quitting, although in fairness, I've only tried a couple times.

It's a full three days now.

I woke up bored and restless, and just pushed buttons on the computer for most of the day. My body hurt too much to move much, although staying still doesn't help in the long run lol.

Got to thinking, that was productive I hope. I think I may have isolated the factor that keeps me going back again. Sure took me a while.

Borrowed a car and went to that AA meeting I been going to. At break, I managed to be the only one nobody talked to. That kinda made me grin this time. I don't know how I manage to be so invisible sometimes. But I realize I've done a whole lot of things in my life I should not have been in a position to get done, and succeeded at most of those. At very few points have I ever had the support of anybody near me, and most often, I was outright told I couldn't do it. So I guess this is going to be the same. Nobody in human form believes I can do this at all, don't know about y'all. Doesnt' matter to me if it's possible anymore, I'm just going to do it.

Went back in, the speaker lady's sobriety date is my unsobriety date--the first one. Exactly. Month, day, year. Now, I had been given liquor before (my family is what they are, and I do love them) but never really saw the fun in it. Until that one night. And since then, I've stayed under the influence of something and never looked back. And I just don't know what to think about tonight because of memories I didn't want to remember and now I can't get out of my head.

Drove home in 4th, knowing it was stupid, and played obstacle course with the empty parking lot, probably more stupid. Smoked a couple cigarettes after I parked and was still angry.

Went up into my apartment, and started in the kitchen. Washed the lunch dishes, wiped everything down. Did a few loads of laundry--still got some left. Renovated my little corner of the dorm--moved furniture, everything. Cleaned every da- thing except my desk, and that's next. Washed everything down. Then I washed the handwash clothes, and it felt so good I started washing some things I could have washed in the machine. Got the laundry clothes, and put them away--I rearranged what goes in all the drawers--and made the bed up with fresh sheets and pillowcases. Then I took a shower. Took me two hours in a flurry, but at the end I wasn't mad anymore.

And I took care of most of the stuff I'd abandoned since I've been trying to quit. Yeah, I did it backwards, but hey, it's over now right? Back on track.

Now I think I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I'll finish that one post I been working on for two days. I'm tired, at 2 am. Huh.

Night y'all. Sober night, y'all.

Midton

Here's something I'm beginning to notice. I can now cope with the boredom and the little bad things that might crop up but today I had a great day. I am still on holiday, the weather was perfect, I went to the gym, had a nice lunch and then played with my kids outside.

Now my desire to drink seems to be strongest on the good days. Drinking would be the cherry on top of the cake of a perfect day. A nice glass of wine, as it is getting dark, would finish the day off beautifully.

It's times like this that I find this site so helpful. I log on, read a few posts (sadly the worst stories help me the most) and I can re-affirm my desire to not drink.

BreakFree

41 and growing stronger by the day! WHOO-HOO! :) Please let me know if I have missed anyone or added anyone in error! I hope this list is helpful in supporting and inspiring one another to further this journey we've begun together.

Listed in alphabetical order:

auden67
August1909
badrad29
bdiddy5522
bohemianzen
box3
BreakFree
BuddhaBear
carlisle
ChameleonBoy
chrisfire
colly
CriseAbsolute
effortjoy
Gofish
groggles55
Hanker
Jackstone
Jeb18
Johnifer
KC1
keen2bclean
KindBird
Kjell
lastthird
LookingForward
Midton
millieveronika
PurpleCat
Richard54
rubycanoe
Shakespeare
sickofthewaste
sphalerite
tallcactus
thirtybubba
TooMuchRum
traderjane
ViciousCycle
white horses
wildrover080209

traderjane

Midton, I have noticed something about myself as well. I tend to want to drink when I'm HAPPY, not sad. So strange to realize this. Like I want to get happy, and then have to worry about triggers for drinking.

Well, I'm up on a Monday morning. Have to get the bills done and then go into work. Nice to wake up with a few sober days under my belt. I'm still in the mode where I wake up and start panicking ("What did I do last night??? Ahhh..... I was completely sober )

Have a good Monday, everyone!

traderjane

Well, I just went outside and took my dog to the "potty." It's a beautiful morning out there. For the first time in a long time, I have a good feeling about things -- my life, where I am, where I'm going, etc.

I don't want to ruin this day by drinking. I am taking everything day to day at this point and have decided that I don't want to drink TODAY. Why ruin a perfectly good day???

Gofish

Ugh! Day 8 and I feel like I have a fever -- aches, pains and chills. Am I coming down with something or is my body pissed about going 8 days without alcohol? My brain is all groggy still.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

effortjoy

Hi everyone- just checking in. Had a tough but sober weekend. Monday is starting to look rough too- normal life stress but right now it seems unbearable. I am starting to count the days until my "month of sobriety" will end, even thinking of re-stocking. I know I will make it through these 30 days, but every day I feel less motivated to continue beyond that.

BreakFree

Good Morning and Happy Monday! :) I just love new weeks...

How is everyone doing? Everyone who has been checking in sounds AWESOME! We have a lot of people who are MIA...I hope they will check in soon! :)

I no longer drink on a daily basis, nor do I have the desire to do so. I should be happy about this (it is, afterall, what brought me here), but I am not. I have not been able to rack up any days because I am still choosing to drink, without even a second thought, during those occassions where alcohol is being offered. What this looks like is 2x per week, averaging 3 drinks on occassion. I am reminded of the time when I decided to give up smoking. I had joined a gym and gotten into the best shape of my life. Smoking no longer suited my lifestyle. I quit smoking on a daily basis, but whenever I drank (socially, usually 2-3x per month) and cigarettes were available, I would smoke...no question. This lasted FOR MANY YEARS. I always woke up the next morning and beat myself up over it. I knew that anytime we went out, I would repeat this behavior and began to accept this about myself. I stopped going out as much because of this. Well anyway, two weeks ago, I attended a dinner party and ended up having two drinks that night. I didn't even enjoy them. I told you all about that...Anyway, a few of our friends went out to have a cigarette and the thought crossed my mind for all of ten seconds. No way. I had no desire. At all. This was the first time EVER this has happened. I am really changing. I can feel it. I am getting there.

I had two drinks with dinner last night (we were out) and did not even enjoy them, but when the waiter asked if I wanted a third, my alcoholic brain said, YES. Thankfully, I said, NO. I should have resisted the urge to order my first drink (DUH!) because I think I would have been fine. It was just taking that first step. Breaking the cycle, so to speak. I am not advocating that any person suffering from an alcoholic addiction try moderation. Not. At. All. This is just where I am at. I have broken the daily drinking habit and now I need to overcome the social drinking. I have yet to do that. I had one party (that huge birthday bash for children) that I did not drink, but I can't even take credit for that. It was during the day and I usually don't drink during the day or when I need to be "on" for my kids. Not that I think having drinks after they are in bed is very responsible either, but it's what I did for the last three years :( So my victory that day, was not that I did not drink at the birthday party, but that I came HOME and did not drink...

I guess what I want you all to know is that I am still here and that I am going to work harder on this next step. It's going to take even more effort on my part because now that I no longer drink on a daily basis, nor have the desire to do so, it's so easy for me to say that I am FINE, you know? I know I am not. I'm not sure anyone is. SO...it's time to take it to the next level...time to get on a health kick and get busy dealing with and eliminating the stress that got me to the place where I started having drinks every evening. This means my computer time will be very limited and that is a HUGE challenge for me. I've become addicted to the computer over the past several years...

Okay, I've rambled long enough...
Have a great day everyone! :)

BreakFree

effortjoy...You have been on my mind a lot lately. I am amazed at your resolve to push forward through this 30-day trial period, even when you are not certain you want to give up drinking. You have such strong willpower. I have NEVER made it through 30 days and this just baffles me. I always thought I was SO STRONG. It sounds like you have a lot going on and you think drinking might make it better, help you cope or perhaps escape? Is there something else you could do to improve the situation besides wanting to drink? Gosh, you've done SO WELL! Please let us know if there is anything we can help you work through! (((effortjoy)))

tallcactus

Good morning class,
Check in: SOBER, another day done and my plan today is to do this again, "just 4 today." Weather is really nice, not so hot, it is cooling down! I feel good and know that today is good.
I prayed 4 all of U last night, as I ended my day, so be assured that we can do this, that God has our backs.
Stay strong.

bdiddy5522

Welcome to all the new people and congrats to so many people rocking in their sobriety. You guys are doing great! I ended up having a few over the weekend again, but nothing ridiculous. I guess in my mind right now I just am not ready to be completely done.

I think the main trigger for me this weekend was that my daughter was at her grandparents, so we had a lot of free time and I filled it by having a few. I am glad she is home now because now I have something that occupies my time. I mowed the yard, vacuumed the entire house, washed the windows, washed and line dried the sheets.... all in an effort to not pick up the drink. It worked well just staying busy.

But here goes another week everyone. Hope all of you are well, and keep going!

traderjane

Breakfree... I understand where you are. I'm kind of there, too. Just keep with us and we'll all help each other out. I don't think anyone really has it all together, so keep positive and recognize the progress you have made

I've broken the cycle of daily drinking, too, but have not let go of the idea of social drinking totally forever in my life....but for now, today, I am NOT drinking. Living day to day is helpful for me instead of trying to plan my life out to the very last detail... you know what I mean.

I think we have a good group here and it's soooooo nice to have support in all of this.

effortjoy

This is the strangest feeling after more than two weeks of complete sobriety: I feel deprived, like I have no pleasure in my life. There is nothing "wrong" that I need to fix right now in my life, just regular daily stress of husband, kids, career pressure. But another reason I drank in the evenings was as a kind of reward system- "look how hard you worked all day, you really deserve a few drinks and a break...." And even though I have so many other pleasures in my life: spending time with my children, going out with my husband, running, reading, writing, mountain climbing etc.. I could write a long list of things I love to do, but i feel so deprived since I've been sober. And I can't seem to fill this with the 'mocktail", my mind refuses to yield to non-alcoholic drinks. Is anyone else going through this? What do you do about it?

PurpleCat

Hi all. I'm so glad to read of the successes the group has been having. Great big (((hugs))) to those who are struggling.

Haven't been here since Friday - a bit disgusted with myself. As you may or may not know, I've been moderating. For some reason, Friday night, I had 11 beers. Why on earth anyone needs to drink 11 beers is beyond me, but I did. Blah.

Anyway, tomorrow I leave on vacation, then when I get back I have an appointment on Tuesday. Still shooting for August 31st.

Stay strong everyone!

LookingForward

Checking in here. I also had a few drinks over the weekend, but kept myself in check and found that I really didn't like the feeling of being out of control and that those few drinks weren't really worth it. I am going to feel good that I haven't had a drink 4 out of the last six days, and just keep moving forward with this.

We can all do this, and it's so good to be able to come here and talk with and read through everyone else's thoughts and feelings.

keen2bclean

Hi guys..two days in now ...Lookingforward, good on u for picking yourself back up...purple pick yaself up and keep going, the past is the past...friday and the 11 beers have been and gone...live for now...we can do this x

KindBird

Hey gang,
Have been missing in action for a bit but I am still here. Love reading through all of the wonderful days of sobriety here - and so many of us August peeps!

I seem to be dancing with the devil right now but not getting in too deeply and still trying. Hoping to have my real start happen in August yet! (several starts, and several stops this month already - not sure what I am waiting for)..

Way to go VC and Richard (we know each other from past lives) - and the rest of you too! So great to be part of such a supportive group.. :ghug2

Shakespeare

I know exactly how this feels! In fact ... I will go further. It is that feeling that has made me repeatedly cave in. I hope others wade in with a solution to that one. I haven't had it yet this time around. I'm still on the early triggers. The feeling deprived doesn't kick in for me until the 6-8 week point. That is when the 'novelty' of being sober has worn off and the hard work begins. It ties in with what Midton posted earlier about wanting to celebrate the good times.

Fortunately as a resting actor presently I have little to celebrate but my God am I going to need SR when I nail my next audition!