August Sobriety Group Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
KC checking in. Golf was okay. I could have done better. A "7" on a "Par 3" did me in. I ended up in the 3 foot tall weeds, just short of out of bounds, so for you golfers, you know I had to try to get it back in play. Whiffed the second shot and then ended up taking an "unplayable lie", which cost me two strokes. Bummer. But, still, it felt good not to play with a hangover. Finished the round with a 113. Not bad, but not what I need to get me into the final round on Monday's Couples Club Championship. Went to the 19th hole with my partners, did not drink and then headed home. My husband's birthday is tomorrow, so we went out to dinner at a local Italian Restaurant. Had a good meal, sans alcohol for both of us, and now we are back home for the night. He is heading off to see his son tomorrow (but only for the day) and I am headed back to the Links to practice for Monday. Currently drinking San Pellegrino and munching on dry Cinnamon Harvest Kashi cereal. This stuff is as good as chocolate!
Hope you are all doing well. I was telling husband about this site tonight during dinner. He, of course, does not understand the impact, the comraderie, but said he is glad I found you guys! I am too!!!!! Have a great night.
KC
Hope you are all doing well. I was telling husband about this site tonight during dinner. He, of course, does not understand the impact, the comraderie, but said he is glad I found you guys! I am too!!!!! Have a great night.
KC
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi all! Some deep posts here. Must be the mood of the week. I had a stressful week (as you all know) but it is coming to an end and I'm in a great mood to start the 3-day weekend (that is, 3-day weekend sans alcohol).
About my relapse last night, I'm going to get it out in the open and (first of all) thank everyone for supporting me. I haven't had a day that stressful in months and I was really struggling and stressing. I'm not proud of drinking that wine last night, but I am actually glad that I did for the following reasons:
1. I was craving Chardonnay all week long, like it was some magical potion that would make me feel good. I bought a bottle of it, and it really tasted a lot worse than I remember.
2. I was hoping for a nice warm buzz to help me escape the "ON ON ON" feeling that Shakespeare so eloquently described. However, the glass of wine did not give me that buzz. So, I poured a little more. No nice buzz. I poured some more, still not feeling great. That's when I gave up,logged onto here and poured the rest down the drain. So my feeling that alcohol was going to give me that "great escape" did not hold true.
3. Even though I drank about 1/2 the amount that I usually used to drink, my body could not handle it. I could not sleep. I was really sick to my stomach. I used to be able to drink a 1/2 bottle of wine with ease, and suddenly now it's making me very ill. I think my body has developed an intolerance to alcohol like never before. This was really good for me to realize. It's like "Smart body, why don't I listen to you?"
4. I don't mind being at Day 1 again, because it's a stronger Day 1 than the last time. I have not decided whether to count or not again -- whatever suits my mood, I guess. The important thing is to stay sober and remember the lessons I have learned this week.
5. I feel really strong now that I am not missing out on anything by not drinking. Dee is so right. I need to find other ways to deal with my stress instead of falling back on the old toxic standbys.
SO, I am happy. I don't want to make this post too long, but I did want to say that I had my second therapy session today. Powerful stuff. When I went in there, I saw a box of tissues next to my chair and thought to myself, "Well, I won't be needing those!" Sure enough, I ended up crying several times during the session. She could tell even when I was holding back the tears and when she mentioned it, I couldn't hold them back anymore. She's good. She told me to feel proud of myself for making the effort to deal with some of my problems so that I can be a happier, better person both for me and my kids. She even pointed out a key reason why I was drinking so much, and at the time she said it, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I used to think therapy was a waste of money, but now I realize it's the best investment I could ever make in myself and for my family.
You guys rock. I'd like to recognize each of you individually, but I'm going to say a collective thank you at this point since this post is getting too long and my puppy and bed are calling me. Good night, everyone!!!!
Laura
About my relapse last night, I'm going to get it out in the open and (first of all) thank everyone for supporting me. I haven't had a day that stressful in months and I was really struggling and stressing. I'm not proud of drinking that wine last night, but I am actually glad that I did for the following reasons:
1. I was craving Chardonnay all week long, like it was some magical potion that would make me feel good. I bought a bottle of it, and it really tasted a lot worse than I remember.
2. I was hoping for a nice warm buzz to help me escape the "ON ON ON" feeling that Shakespeare so eloquently described. However, the glass of wine did not give me that buzz. So, I poured a little more. No nice buzz. I poured some more, still not feeling great. That's when I gave up,logged onto here and poured the rest down the drain. So my feeling that alcohol was going to give me that "great escape" did not hold true.
3. Even though I drank about 1/2 the amount that I usually used to drink, my body could not handle it. I could not sleep. I was really sick to my stomach. I used to be able to drink a 1/2 bottle of wine with ease, and suddenly now it's making me very ill. I think my body has developed an intolerance to alcohol like never before. This was really good for me to realize. It's like "Smart body, why don't I listen to you?"
4. I don't mind being at Day 1 again, because it's a stronger Day 1 than the last time. I have not decided whether to count or not again -- whatever suits my mood, I guess. The important thing is to stay sober and remember the lessons I have learned this week.
5. I feel really strong now that I am not missing out on anything by not drinking. Dee is so right. I need to find other ways to deal with my stress instead of falling back on the old toxic standbys.
SO, I am happy. I don't want to make this post too long, but I did want to say that I had my second therapy session today. Powerful stuff. When I went in there, I saw a box of tissues next to my chair and thought to myself, "Well, I won't be needing those!" Sure enough, I ended up crying several times during the session. She could tell even when I was holding back the tears and when she mentioned it, I couldn't hold them back anymore. She's good. She told me to feel proud of myself for making the effort to deal with some of my problems so that I can be a happier, better person both for me and my kids. She even pointed out a key reason why I was drinking so much, and at the time she said it, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I used to think therapy was a waste of money, but now I realize it's the best investment I could ever make in myself and for my family.
You guys rock. I'd like to recognize each of you individually, but I'm going to say a collective thank you at this point since this post is getting too long and my puppy and bed are calling me. Good night, everyone!!!!
Laura
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: midwest
Posts: 231
day 9
checking in also. Sounds like a lot of you are doing good, being able to go to restaurants and not drink, I don't think I am ready to do that. My sister and her friend invited me to the bar tonight, I know if I would have went there is no way I couldn't drink , don't feel strong enough yet. But on day 9 and taking it one day at a time. I know others are struggling also. I am not very good at copying the quotes but I really appreciate a lot of the sharing people are doing it really helps. I am really tired as haven't been sleeping well. So I am headed off to sleep , nighty night, lets all have a good sober nights rest!!!
(((((((hugs)))))))))
(((((((hugs)))))))))
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
I am still struggling right now to not leave and go drink. I went to work, went to a meeting afterward, and have been home for a little while now. A friend did invite me out earlier...but I was sitting in the meeting parking lot waiting for others to show up. I am glad I stayed there I told her I couldn't go with her tonight. But now--my little mind--I don't know--I feel that restless, irritable, discontent feeling...which my mind still tells me--almost convincingly that booze will take that away. It tells me I will feel better if I drink. Also--I forgot to mention I am still receiving phone calls from people I apparently called on Sun when I was drinking--I don't remember speaking to some of them...I have no idea what we discussed or anything. I apparently called this friend and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime---she has been calling me alomost daily since then--ugh.....anyway--I know this post may not make any sense right now....but my mind is definitely messed up right now. I don't want to use....so I guess I'll keep rambling.....and hopefully whatever is going on with me will settle down soon. :wtf2
Meow
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: The Great Lakes State
Posts: 1,585
Hang in there and stay with it Angelina. Please!!!
I unfortunately cannot stay here tonight - I was just checking in briefly and have to get up early tomorrow to go out of town.
Please find something to distract you. Go yo YouTube and find old favorite songs. Bake a cake. Something - anything. Hugs and good luck.
luv to ya.
I unfortunately cannot stay here tonight - I was just checking in briefly and have to get up early tomorrow to go out of town.
Please find something to distract you. Go yo YouTube and find old favorite songs. Bake a cake. Something - anything. Hugs and good luck.
luv to ya.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
Originally Posted by ANGELINA243 
I am still struggling right now to not leave and go drink. I went to work, went to a meeting afterward, and have been home for a little while now. A friend did invite me out earlier...but I was sitting in the meeting parking lot waiting for others to show up. I am glad I stayed there I told her I couldn't go with her tonight. But now--my little mind--I don't know--I feel that restless, irritable, discontent feeling...which my mind still tells me--almost convincingly that booze will take that away. It tells me I will feel better if I drink. Also--I forgot to mention I am still receiving phone calls from people I apparently called on Sun when I was drinking--I don't remember speaking to some of them...I have no idea what we discussed or anything. I apparently called this friend and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime---she has been calling me alomost daily since then--ugh.....anyway--I know this post may not make any sense right now....but my mind is definitely messed up right now. I don't want to use....so I guess I'll keep rambling.....and hopefully whatever is going on with me will settle down soon. :wtf2
hi... have you found something to distract you? i am a newbie so not sure what would be helpful for you and what wouldnt be ....
but i can bet you will feel a lot better about yourself tommorrow if you dont have a drink... what time is it where you are?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: over the seas and far away
Posts: 862
Originally Posted by ANGELINA243
I am still struggling right now to not leave and go drink. I went to work, went to a meeting afterward, and have been home for a little while now. A friend did invite me out earlier...but I was sitting in the meeting parking lot waiting for others to show up. I am glad I stayed there I told her I couldn't go with her tonight. But now--my little mind--I don't know--I feel that restless, irritable, discontent feeling...which my mind still tells me--almost convincingly that booze will take that away. It tells me I will feel better if I drink. Also--I forgot to mention I am still receiving phone calls from people I apparently called on Sun when I was drinking--I don't remember speaking to some of them...I have no idea what we discussed or anything. I apparently called this friend and asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime---she has been calling me alomost daily since then--ugh.....anyway--I know this post may not make any sense right now....but my mind is definitely messed up right now. I don't want to use....so I guess I'll keep rambling.....and hopefully whatever is going on with me will settle down soon. :wtf2
keep rambling angelina.. ramble away...
did you have your last drink sunday? think back to how you felt monday... did you like how you felt???
the urge will pass.. it is only a baby urge ......
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,902
I guess I'll check in too. As I may have posted, I joined the YMCA last week to get myself some exercise and also play some tennis. The tennis league doesn't start until next Thursday, so I went over today to just check things out and maybe lift some weights. It's been years since I've done anything like that. Now a day's they have so many different torture devices disguised as weight machines to exercise different muscle groups, it's amazing, probably 12 - 15 machines. It wasn't busy so I tried virtually everything (when no one was looking of course, I was trying to act cool like I new what I was doing). I also spent some time on an elliptical machine and some other bizarre equipment.
Bottom line, what a way to relieve tension and stress! I was feeling some anxiety this afternoon, but it melted away pretty quickly. I tried not to overdue it, but I can definitely tell that I got up off my butt today. I'll see if I can move tomorrow.
Bottom line, what a way to relieve tension and stress! I was feeling some anxiety this afternoon, but it melted away pretty quickly. I tried not to overdue it, but I can definitely tell that I got up off my butt today. I'll see if I can move tomorrow.
hypercube
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 306
ANGELINA, I was in a similar situation last night. It will pass, please don't go out and drink. You've worked so hard and you will survive another night sober, do you think you've been triggered by the invitation to go out?
The cold reality of getting drunk (not the happy one the cravings romanticise) is empty and depressing and does not bring relief. You will grow stronger from this.
The cold reality of getting drunk (not the happy one the cravings romanticise) is empty and depressing and does not bring relief. You will grow stronger from this.
hypercube
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 306
More distraction: talking cats.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Originally Posted by box3
More distraction: talking cats.
Thanks everyone for your support--PurpleCat, anono, box3....
PurpleCAt---watching videos helped...I started to watch some youtube vids--but remembered some concert footage i have from a few concerts i have been to recently--watching those helped some..........but i don't know bout baking any cakes
that's a scary thought--(mostly for everyoone else) ...me in the kitchen... "NOOOO!" anono--it is now about 11 pm here...still early from what i am used to>and yes Monday morning I wasn't feeling too well--I was going through withdrawal....funny how soon we forget--thanks for the reminder...
box3--I love kittys---that was a very cute vid--thanks
Still hanging on--feeling a little better--not as crazy as earlier.....
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