effortjoy...You have been on my mind a lot lately. I am amazed at your resolve to push forward through this 30-day trial period, even when you are not certain you want to give up drinking. You have such strong willpower. I have NEVER made it through 30 days and this just baffles me. I always thought I was SO STRONG. It sounds like you have a lot going on and you think drinking might make it better, help you cope or perhaps escape? Is there something else you could do to improve the situation besides wanting to drink? Gosh, you've done SO WELL! Please let us know if there is anything we can help you work through! (((effortjoy)))