August Sobriety Group Part 2
perpetual optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Very common Effort to feel deprived.......all of a sudden that "reward" has been taken away.......I guess you need to look at it harder, was it a reward? Or was it part of the daily ritual? Was drinking all good and fun for you? What made you want to quit? Did the "reward" start taking over? Maybe address those things.......I know the feeling........just not sure how to answer it outright..........I think we all feel alot of that, you are not alone. How's the sleep? Are you still real tired??
Happy Monday everyone!!
Happy Monday everyone!!
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: far away from the ocean
Posts: 376
Another Class of April dropout here. Almost made it 4 months last time but couldn't handle the stress. I drink to forget, to pass out. Had too much of that now for a week. Not sure I could've prevented it, maybe just postponed the relapse. I really don't know what will work this time. The good news is that I know I can never drink safely again. The bad news is that it doesn't matter when I get too depressed. But I'll try to have another shot at sobriety.
Good luck to everyone!
OB
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Hi everyone, just wanted to check in. I have to admit, up until now I have only half heatedly committed to being sober (knowing deep down that at some point I would cave in and drink). Something changed in me ... and I now feel like I want to stop, totally... for good. Not moderate, not allow myself one night of drinking per week, etc. I just want to stop. I can't explain it. It's like I've explored all the options and have made my mind up. I want out, for good.
Just wanted to let you all know.... so I'm here committed to this. I love having this August group for support.... I will need you a lot more as I have made this committment. Thanks.
Laura
Just wanted to let you all know.... so I'm here committed to this. I love having this August group for support.... I will need you a lot more as I have made this committment. Thanks.
Laura
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In my head...tis dark in here!
Posts: 213
Congrats Laura on coming to that decision...now you can move forward whole heartedly...I'm still somewhat torn...I do want to be able to stop but just can't see it yet if you get me...I still cant say that 'I've quit'...I can only say that today I haven't or will not drink...as for tomorrow I make no promises...I'm fed up with letting myself down as far as that goes
Welldone to everyone on staying sober and good luck & prayers to those struggling
Welldone to everyone on staying sober and good luck & prayers to those struggling
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
I know the feeling, Keen. I have been torn about quitting for a long time now. It took a while for me to realize what I do right now. I actually did not want to admit I was a alcoholic for a long time. I think acceptance of that is the first step for me... now it's time to commit to recovering.
My personal feeling is that everyone needs to come to this decision on their own terms and in their own time, or else it won't "stick" if you know what I mean. For me, I had to explore all the options. The best option for me now is not drinking.
You will work things out for yourself, I'm sure. The one day at a time thing is not a bad idea in any event. I look forward to your posts...
My personal feeling is that everyone needs to come to this decision on their own terms and in their own time, or else it won't "stick" if you know what I mean. For me, I had to explore all the options. The best option for me now is not drinking.
You will work things out for yourself, I'm sure. The one day at a time thing is not a bad idea in any event. I look forward to your posts...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Southern Maryland
Posts: 21
Well I am so glad to see that so many of us are having success. I am on Day 24. When I started I was not sure I could go 24 hours but it has gotten easier and easier as the time passes. I have a lot to be thankful for and I try to concentrate on those things. My wife gets home tomorrow after being gone for 6 weeks. My oldest son gets back from Afghanistan on Labor Day weekend. The year has been slow passing, but the end is in sight. I will be able to spend more time with my Dad in his last days. So far, he is very alert and still active. I am hoping he can stay that way until the weekend when I can get back to visit him one more time.
To all those who have provided support and understanding, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has made a difference and I continue to draw strength from your support. This forum has been as important as any meeting that I have attended and the best part is that it is available all the time......
To all those still struggling with Day 1, keep up the great work. It will be worth it in the end.
To all those who have provided support and understanding, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has made a difference and I continue to draw strength from your support. This forum has been as important as any meeting that I have attended and the best part is that it is available all the time......
To all those still struggling with Day 1, keep up the great work. It will be worth it in the end.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
I'm just about to finish day 17. I feel strong and know, really know, that I won't break my run at present.
I did have a bit of a worrying conversation with my wife about an hour ago though it didn't occur to me at the time. I mentioned to her that maybe I'm not an alcoholic along with a list of reasons why I'm not so bad. I also gave a scenario of when I might drink again. In fact I gave a couple of scenarios. Somewhere in my subconscious I'm planning to drink.
I like rules in my life and I used to have rules for drinking. I am going to make a new rule that if I am ever tempted to drink or am going to be in a situation where I may be tempted I will read a couple of posts here first.
I did have a bit of a worrying conversation with my wife about an hour ago though it didn't occur to me at the time. I mentioned to her that maybe I'm not an alcoholic along with a list of reasons why I'm not so bad. I also gave a scenario of when I might drink again. In fact I gave a couple of scenarios. Somewhere in my subconscious I'm planning to drink.
I like rules in my life and I used to have rules for drinking. I am going to make a new rule that if I am ever tempted to drink or am going to be in a situation where I may be tempted I will read a couple of posts here first.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Philadelphia, PA area
Posts: 335
Kudos to everyone for their successes! I am on Day Nine today. Had a bit of a hard time yesterday (wrote a post but it disappeared before I hit send) but the bottom line is I made it. So it is on to another day! I just really like feeling good when I wake up and not having to run down to the kitchen and take Advil and tomato juice and who knows what other hangover remedy I have tried in the past. I am off to work now - 3 hours early - because I feel so good. Usually I am dragging myself out of bed because I fell like hell. Have a great day.
KC
KC
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Good Morning :)
How is everyone doing? There are A LOT of us that are MIA and I am missing everyone!
Okay...it's August 25th. For all of us that are still choosing to say YES to alcohol, it's now or never (in August of 2009, that is)! The only way to know if "this is the day" is to make it THE day and STOP saying YES! I don't know about you, but I am TIRED of coming in here with my head hanging low and admitting that I have been choosing to drink...on occassion or NOT.
It's becoming more and more difficult for me to participate in this thread because class threads are generally created to provide support for members who ARE committing to give up alcohol. Yes, there may be setbacks and there will certainly be a lot of difficulties in the beginning, but willingly choosing to drink is not one of them. I feel that everytime I choose to drink and I don't even fight the urge (which is really at the heart of the matter here), I am becoming less and less of a team member. I love this class and I want to take this journey with all of you, but if I do not get serious and do this, I will no longer be posting in this thread (that sounds terrible...I hope you know what I mean...as an August member). I simply cannot keep coming in here and talking about how I chose to drink again and again and expect that to encourage and inspire others to stay strong, you know? I believe that what truly made this thread special, aside from the awesome, upbeat and loving people, was that we were ALL TRYING and GIVING IT OUR ALL. I have not been doing the latter and I am so sorry :(
So today may or may not be the day, only I can decide when it's time to say YES or NO to alcohol, but it's now or never in August 2009. If today is the day, I will have 7 days (25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31) going into September and that will be great! :)
This post is not meant to tell anyone they do not belong here...or to run anyone off...especially if they are struggling. I would really hate for anyone to read it that way. This is about *me* and how I haven't been giving this my ALL. If I had been really, really struggling all this time, I would not even be writing this post. Heck, you can have a Day 1 in September and still be a part of this class! :) There are no rules and I am not trying to impose any. This is just what MY CONSCIENCE is telling me I must do...I must GET SERIOUS...
So this is it guys...today must be my day!
Love and (((hugs))),
How is everyone doing? There are A LOT of us that are MIA and I am missing everyone!
Okay...it's August 25th. For all of us that are still choosing to say YES to alcohol, it's now or never (in August of 2009, that is)! The only way to know if "this is the day" is to make it THE day and STOP saying YES! I don't know about you, but I am TIRED of coming in here with my head hanging low and admitting that I have been choosing to drink...on occassion or NOT.
It's becoming more and more difficult for me to participate in this thread because class threads are generally created to provide support for members who ARE committing to give up alcohol. Yes, there may be setbacks and there will certainly be a lot of difficulties in the beginning, but willingly choosing to drink is not one of them. I feel that everytime I choose to drink and I don't even fight the urge (which is really at the heart of the matter here), I am becoming less and less of a team member. I love this class and I want to take this journey with all of you, but if I do not get serious and do this, I will no longer be posting in this thread (that sounds terrible...I hope you know what I mean...as an August member). I simply cannot keep coming in here and talking about how I chose to drink again and again and expect that to encourage and inspire others to stay strong, you know? I believe that what truly made this thread special, aside from the awesome, upbeat and loving people, was that we were ALL TRYING and GIVING IT OUR ALL. I have not been doing the latter and I am so sorry :(
So today may or may not be the day, only I can decide when it's time to say YES or NO to alcohol, but it's now or never in August 2009. If today is the day, I will have 7 days (25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31) going into September and that will be great! :)
This post is not meant to tell anyone they do not belong here...or to run anyone off...especially if they are struggling. I would really hate for anyone to read it that way. This is about *me* and how I haven't been giving this my ALL. If I had been really, really struggling all this time, I would not even be writing this post. Heck, you can have a Day 1 in September and still be a part of this class! :) There are no rules and I am not trying to impose any. This is just what MY CONSCIENCE is telling me I must do...I must GET SERIOUS...
So this is it guys...today must be my day!
Love and (((hugs))),
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
I am here. I really hope you stick with this Melissa. I know you can do this and want this! Please stay with us as you are the leader of this group, drinking or not. Keep coming back!
I had a sober night last night. I sat on my back patio after we put our daughter to bed and just relaxed. It was so beautiful and relaxing. I also had an acupuncture treatment yesterday. I am not sure if any of you have tried it, but for me it like a god-send! I completely relax and actually fall asleep. This is amazing to me because I am usually a high strung guy and NEVER take naps. I feel so amazing afterward. Hard to explain if you have never tried it, but for me it works wonders.
Here's to another sober day everyone, and as always.... welcome to the new people. Stay with us!
Much love, Brent
I had a sober night last night. I sat on my back patio after we put our daughter to bed and just relaxed. It was so beautiful and relaxing. I also had an acupuncture treatment yesterday. I am not sure if any of you have tried it, but for me it like a god-send! I completely relax and actually fall asleep. This is amazing to me because I am usually a high strung guy and NEVER take naps. I feel so amazing afterward. Hard to explain if you have never tried it, but for me it works wonders.
Here's to another sober day everyone, and as always.... welcome to the new people. Stay with us!
Much love, Brent
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
tallcactus...Thank you for your prayers! :) I love how you said God has our back. You are doing AWESOME :)
bdiddy, traderjane, LookingForward and KindBird...Will you all join me in making today be THE day? I need to stop...period. I knew moderation wasn't going to work with me and I wasn't even TRYING to moderate, but as you know, I was still saying YES when the opportunity presented itself. I need to say NO. I forgot that the disease is PROGRESSIVE so any little bit is like taking two steps forward and four steps back. It sounds like we have all been in the same boat, navigating dangerous waters and hoping for the best, huh?
effortjoy...I can relate to your feelings of deprivation. I used to think of my evening drinks as my "reward" after a long, hard day. It was also my "comfort" when the day wasn't so good. Either way, the drinks stopped filling that void somewhere along the line for me. It makes no sense to me why I've kept saying YES, when they don't even taste/feel good anymore. I guess all I can offer is this...as someone who has recently had that drink you are looking forward to...it isn't THAT good. Totally not worth it. I think you are better off right where you are at. I really admire you...hang in there! :)
Oh PurpleCat! I didn't get to wish you a "HAPPY VACATION"! Well, in case you haven't left yet and happen to check in, I hope you have a WONDERFUL time and look forward to cheering each other on when you return! :)
keen2bclean...Congrats on those days! That is awesome! :) I can really relate to how you feel about being fed up with letting yourself down...boy, can I ever! :O
Shakespeare...I have never gone 6-8 weeks without a drink...except for when I was 13 or pregnant and nursing. I appreciate your honesty and the "heads up" on what may lie ahead...but gosh...that is a total bummer! :( I want to be feeling completely and totally free after all that time. The sad thing is, that isn't the reality, is it? :( Damn disease...
VC...I am so totally proud and ecstactic for you! You have been doing AWESOME! You inspire me :)
(((OceanBound)))...Welcome! :)
traderjane...Thank you for your honesty and sharing. I really appreciate knowing that I am not alone! :)
(((wildrover)))...Thank YOU for being here. You are such a source of encouragement, support and inspiration and I am SO GRATEFUL to have met you! :)
Midton...WAY TO GO! You are doing AWESOME! Yes, it's so easy to begin to believe you are FINE when you are racking up the days. It only takes me about a week before I start hearing those voices! I am so psyched that you didn't fall for it! :) WHOO-HOO! :)
KC1...That is AWESOME! So, so AWESOME! :) You are SO RIGHT when you say the hangover is NOT worth it. I love waking up hangover and guilt free and can't wait to get back to that. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night...on the couch. My stomach hurt so bad from all the Mike's I had put away. I felt sick and guilt-ridden and JUST...PLAIN...TERRIBLE :( I HATE that I do this myself and I don't want to do it anymore. Keep reminding yourself how awful it feels after you drink whenever you get the urge and hopefully that will help you keep your resolve! :) 9 days is a GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT! :)
Have a great day everyone :)
bdiddy, traderjane, LookingForward and KindBird...Will you all join me in making today be THE day? I need to stop...period. I knew moderation wasn't going to work with me and I wasn't even TRYING to moderate, but as you know, I was still saying YES when the opportunity presented itself. I need to say NO. I forgot that the disease is PROGRESSIVE so any little bit is like taking two steps forward and four steps back. It sounds like we have all been in the same boat, navigating dangerous waters and hoping for the best, huh?
effortjoy...I can relate to your feelings of deprivation. I used to think of my evening drinks as my "reward" after a long, hard day. It was also my "comfort" when the day wasn't so good. Either way, the drinks stopped filling that void somewhere along the line for me. It makes no sense to me why I've kept saying YES, when they don't even taste/feel good anymore. I guess all I can offer is this...as someone who has recently had that drink you are looking forward to...it isn't THAT good. Totally not worth it. I think you are better off right where you are at. I really admire you...hang in there! :)
Oh PurpleCat! I didn't get to wish you a "HAPPY VACATION"! Well, in case you haven't left yet and happen to check in, I hope you have a WONDERFUL time and look forward to cheering each other on when you return! :)
keen2bclean...Congrats on those days! That is awesome! :) I can really relate to how you feel about being fed up with letting yourself down...boy, can I ever! :O
Shakespeare...I have never gone 6-8 weeks without a drink...except for when I was 13 or pregnant and nursing. I appreciate your honesty and the "heads up" on what may lie ahead...but gosh...that is a total bummer! :( I want to be feeling completely and totally free after all that time. The sad thing is, that isn't the reality, is it? :( Damn disease...
VC...I am so totally proud and ecstactic for you! You have been doing AWESOME! You inspire me :)
(((OceanBound)))...Welcome! :)
traderjane...Thank you for your honesty and sharing. I really appreciate knowing that I am not alone! :)
(((wildrover)))...Thank YOU for being here. You are such a source of encouragement, support and inspiration and I am SO GRATEFUL to have met you! :)
Midton...WAY TO GO! You are doing AWESOME! Yes, it's so easy to begin to believe you are FINE when you are racking up the days. It only takes me about a week before I start hearing those voices! I am so psyched that you didn't fall for it! :) WHOO-HOO! :)
KC1...That is AWESOME! So, so AWESOME! :) You are SO RIGHT when you say the hangover is NOT worth it. I love waking up hangover and guilt free and can't wait to get back to that. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night...on the couch. My stomach hurt so bad from all the Mike's I had put away. I felt sick and guilt-ridden and JUST...PLAIN...TERRIBLE :( I HATE that I do this myself and I don't want to do it anymore. Keep reminding yourself how awful it feels after you drink whenever you get the urge and hopefully that will help you keep your resolve! :) 9 days is a GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT! :)
Have a great day everyone :)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
Thanks for your encouragement Melissa. See why this group needs you to stick around? 
You are the glue, honey!
SPHALERITE, please check in if you are around. We miss you around here. I hope you are OK. Even if your weekend didn't go as planned, dust yourself off and try again.
You are the glue, honey!SPHALERITE, please check in if you are around. We miss you around here. I hope you are OK. Even if your weekend didn't go as planned, dust yourself off and try again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Thanks Brent! :) You are so sweet :)
I was just thinking about my longest "no alcohol" streak and it was 13 days. I remember clearly how it was broken. We went out to dinner. It was just my husband and our children. I had asked my husband what he thought about me ordering a beer and he thought it was okay. That I'd gone for basically two weeks and that proves I am fine. That draft (or two...I can't remember), was the first in what would prove to be another year of drinking on an almost daily basis. I'm tired of this. I want it to end. I HAVE to accept that there is no future with drinking in it for me. There just isn't. Somewhere along the line, I crossed over into another stage of this disease and I have to remember...it is always going to be a PROGRESSIVE disease, not a REGRESSIVE disease. NO going backward. Only forward. I need to really CONVINCE myself of this. I must BELIEVE it. It is the truth. And if I cannot accept this, I will never change. Instead of feeling sad or mourning this truth...it makes me feel numb. I can't help but wonder if I will ever deeply and truly believe this.
I was just thinking about my longest "no alcohol" streak and it was 13 days. I remember clearly how it was broken. We went out to dinner. It was just my husband and our children. I had asked my husband what he thought about me ordering a beer and he thought it was okay. That I'd gone for basically two weeks and that proves I am fine. That draft (or two...I can't remember), was the first in what would prove to be another year of drinking on an almost daily basis. I'm tired of this. I want it to end. I HAVE to accept that there is no future with drinking in it for me. There just isn't. Somewhere along the line, I crossed over into another stage of this disease and I have to remember...it is always going to be a PROGRESSIVE disease, not a REGRESSIVE disease. NO going backward. Only forward. I need to really CONVINCE myself of this. I must BELIEVE it. It is the truth. And if I cannot accept this, I will never change. Instead of feeling sad or mourning this truth...it makes me feel numb. I can't help but wonder if I will ever deeply and truly believe this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 89
Day 16. Nothing much to report. My weight has ballooned since giving up. I remember this happening last time. Then it gradually all falls of and goes below what I am normally. I don't think I am consuming more calories and 16 days worth of wine calories would have been huge!
But there you have it. I've put on half a stone! I can only think maybe my body is re-adjusting to the lack of all those wine calories and is in storage mode and so stores as fat anything I consume.
Well done the rest of the crew.
But there you have it. I've put on half a stone! I can only think maybe my body is re-adjusting to the lack of all those wine calories and is in storage mode and so stores as fat anything I consume.
Well done the rest of the crew.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
(((brent)))...I was really needing the love...thank you SO MUCH! :) You are THE BEST! :)
Yes, sphal! Please check in! I've thought of you everyday since you left for the cabin. Remember, we love you no matter what! :)
Yes, sphal! Please check in! I've thought of you everyday since you left for the cabin. Remember, we love you no matter what! :)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 128
Good morning guys! On day nine and feeling good. I'm not struggling at all for some strange reason.
Melissa, I don't think any of us feel like you can't be here because you are having a tough go at staying away from the drink. As I've mentioned before, we've all had our failures at this. Otherwise we wouldn't need this kind of support. This site wouldn't even exsist if this were an easy journey! I'm on day nine, but that doesn't mean I'm any stronger than you are. I'm cheating! I'm on antabuse and that takes away my options. If I were not on the meds, I can assure you I would have given up last weekend. I tried numerous times to get sober on my own without the desired effect. Don't feel bad, just don't give up. You can do it.
Jason
Melissa, I don't think any of us feel like you can't be here because you are having a tough go at staying away from the drink. As I've mentioned before, we've all had our failures at this. Otherwise we wouldn't need this kind of support. This site wouldn't even exsist if this were an easy journey! I'm on day nine, but that doesn't mean I'm any stronger than you are. I'm cheating! I'm on antabuse and that takes away my options. If I were not on the meds, I can assure you I would have given up last weekend. I tried numerous times to get sober on my own without the desired effect. Don't feel bad, just don't give up. You can do it.
Jason
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
You are most welcome Melissa. We just need you here. Plain and simple! If you leave I am going to have to hunt you down and personally come and drag you back to you computer and on to this site! haha.
Jason, congrats on 9 days! You are killing it! And taking antabuse is not cheating! Drugs like those are meant for times like this. Don't think of it as cheating, think of it as resourcing! Keep going buddy!
Jason, congrats on 9 days! You are killing it! And taking antabuse is not cheating! Drugs like those are meant for times like this. Don't think of it as cheating, think of it as resourcing!
Keep going buddy!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Oh, thank you, Jason :) I know what you are saying...I just feel like if I were REALLY trying to say NO, I would. And I haven't. But I will :) What is antebuse? I have never heard of that. I'm glad you are getting the help you need to be able to claim Day 9! WHOO-HOO! :) I'm really happy you are doing so well and feeling strong! That's the BEST feeling!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 128
Melissa,
Antabuse is a medication that makes you have a violent reaction if you drink alcohol. In fact, in some cases, it can even kill you! I requested that my doctor put me on it for a little insurance. I knew that I'd probably cave in again without it. It has been awesome for me. It takes away the option to drink. When I'm having a craving for a beer, the thought quickly leaves me as I know that I'd get very ill if I even took a sip. It keeps me going while I work out the bugs in therapy. The best part is this: If I decide I want to stop taking the medication and drink again, it takes about two weeks to get out of your system. That's two weeks to sit and reconsider my decision. It's not for everyone, but I feel like it works for me.
Hang in there. Please don't leave us. I think I can speak for us all when I say that your posts are uplifting and fun. Stick around.
Jason
Antabuse is a medication that makes you have a violent reaction if you drink alcohol. In fact, in some cases, it can even kill you! I requested that my doctor put me on it for a little insurance. I knew that I'd probably cave in again without it. It has been awesome for me. It takes away the option to drink. When I'm having a craving for a beer, the thought quickly leaves me as I know that I'd get very ill if I even took a sip. It keeps me going while I work out the bugs in therapy. The best part is this: If I decide I want to stop taking the medication and drink again, it takes about two weeks to get out of your system. That's two weeks to sit and reconsider my decision. It's not for everyone, but I feel like it works for me.
Hang in there. Please don't leave us. I think I can speak for us all when I say that your posts are uplifting and fun. Stick around.
Jason
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