Dee74

but, can you turn your head all the way around?


LOL
D

JigOvLife

Yeah, I don't know if it's some weird quantum quirk or the power of self fulfilling prophecy but it does get worse and never in the way you expect or prepare for.

I experienced 2 new 'Yets' last Friday.

and I'm still shuddering.

Ananda

aw TSH...yes please scream out loud!!!!! You know sometimes it does sck....I've been exactly where you're talking about...even today....it is really tough sometimes.

I struggle to remember that after that few magic moments of relief that alchohol use to bring...comes HUGE amounts of unhappiness.....or worse start thinking so what....

I have white knuckled it through some of those momnets.

The things that helped me were pretty simple really....I cried...I ball like a baby in a safe place ...even when that ment sitting in my car where noone could see me.

It helped to go to chat with a friend who would let me just rag out the whole bloody mess....And gosh...it really helps when I look at my friends here suffering and realize that we can do this together....it really is amazing.

Have you really let yourself cry and rage (without like hurting anyone) without the alchohol? Do you have a freind you can call or meet face to face to help put you back together after you let yourself feel what is going on?

Yes...a drink will make it worse and in your heart of hearts you know that too...but part of you is trying right now to convince you otherwise....tell us more if you like we are here! (hug)

Ananda

oh yeah..the few times i've been able to let those feelings come out without hurting anyone...it has really felt incrediable to find out that I can express those things without a drink in me and that some people actualy understand and support me despite my soetimes irrational words at that moment

TryingSoHard

No, I haven't really. I think I need to. I started crying on my way from work to the grocery store today - just out of the blue - and I had to sit in my car for a minute and clean my face up before I could go do my grocery shopping.

I WISH that I had a friend I could call or talk to about this f2f. My husband says that I can talk to him about this stuff, but I am not sure I'm comfortable with that yet. It's still at that weird, awkward phase for us where I know he means well and wants to help, and I appreciate that, but I feel very self-conscious and ashamed telling him some of this stuff. I don't know what he is capable of truly understanding and what he's not.

I wish I could talk to my best friend about this, too. She's the type, though, that needs me to be there for her. She's ALWAYS got some drama in her life, and it ALWAYS takes precedence over anything else going on. And the past 3 or 4 times I've talked to her, I say, "Hey! Whatcha doing?" and she says, "Getting drunk!"

*sigh*

I had hoped that she would realize what a simple statement like that would do to me, but she doesn't. So I can't talk to her, and that's a damn shame.

So you know what that means... you people are STUCK WITH ME!! LOL


Yes, yes, yes. I believe you are right. Somewhere deep in my heart of hearts I know what you are saying to be true. Right now it's just very freakin' difficult to cling to that knowledge.

Thank you.

TryingSoHard

I think that's what I long for right now.

Ananda

the really important thing is you made it back alive Jiggy...we've all been thinking of you...glad you are here....you pipe up too when that voice in your head starts to get to you...I will be happy to remind you of the state you were in a few days back....

Let's all move forward to better things...cause they are out there...but believe me..no one ever told me it would be easy...and it isn't

hugs to all of you

Ananda

yes TSH....I had to stop being around a "friend" who was using scripts in sobreiety..but not as directed and was out of it half the time. It was always all about her and her drama and her boyfriend and it just wore me out...finally I stopped returning her calls...we talked weeks later and I was pretty unassertive, but the main thing is she is no longer draining me.

I can listen to others and be there...but they do need to be there for me too...i can't put my life on hold for every one.

We are here for you...if you can get some face to face support it really is helpful cause somehow it's easy for us to decide the writing isn't genuine or something...face to face when others cry and hurt with us..it's pretty hard to deny.

Someday I hope to be able to share my crap with an understanding and supporting partner...but for now as I practice learning how to share...it is kinda easier to start with someone I think is less likely to be hurt or who's opinion isn't going to drive me further down...

You are doing a great job of being open! Proud of you and inspired!!!

Pixy1

Morning all :ghug

TSH sorry you are struggling, how are you feeling today? JOL 8days is fantastic!!

Off xmas shopping just wanted to pop in and say morning to you all.

WIBBLE!!! your too quiet!

wibble

Morning!

I'm fine Pix, thanks for wondering!!! Feel really good, looking forward to some time off over Christmas. Had a bit of minor drama as my dog gashed his paw on a broken bottle some p*ssed up wanker had smashed in the street...

After Friday night and that load of arse I can safely say I hate drunks with a deep passion.

No idea what day i'm on (Nands thats your job not mine anymore) but feel good

How's everyone else?

lostbutterfly

I would be wrapping Christmas presents, but I can't find any scissors or sellotape. And one of my cats has made a nest out of all the wrapping paper and is all curled up in it.

That's my excuse for doing f-all! But I am going to clean the house, track down my son and take him to his first skiing lesson in Milton Keynes - the fun never stops round here, I can tell you!

I so identify with that initial relief you get from pills and drink, but within a few days, you're right back in hell!

wibble

Do they get much snow in Milton Keynes?

Actually i can guess where you are taking him, I went sky diving there once

Nice bar downstairs... i got p*ssed

I was supposed to be driving but f**k that i got hammered instead

Actually when i think about it...it wasn't a bar it was a restaurant. Everyone else ate and i got battered

I love thinking back to when i was drinking. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

Just having a complete day off, feels so nice to be sat on my sofa doing nothing

Well when i say nothing... i kinda need to get back to shooting dudes on my playstation!!!

wibble

By the way... Wibbles movie tip this week. Dark Knight

Slap my arse and call me a b*tch thats a good movie!!!!

wibble

Nands you ok?

You haven't posted in the last 10 mins, wanted to make sure you were ok?

Ananda

Hope your puppy is ok wibbley.....did it take stitches?

its -6 degrees here.......I'm just stayin home all day.

Ananda

Somebody needs to tell wibbs he accidently put me on ignore and that i've been posting here for 10 hours straight.....

wibs is suffering from operator error.....

wibble

Trust me the dog ain't no puppy

He's about the size of one of pixxys horses

Nands you know i'd never ignore you!

Ananda

OK....

all dogs are puppies regardless of size wibs....

wibble

If that were true nands then the term "dog" would be redundant

Ananda

wibbles! all dogs are puppies but not all puppies are dogs....

example.

"I'm one tired puppy"

you are a sweet little puppy wibbles.

my aching puppies

you see....

oh...nevermind...i confused myself.