courage2

I'm so grateful that you're back and you've stayed sober, venus.

I know a little how you feel -- between pain about past issues and worry for the future, I've had some bad spells, and it's still really not as easy to face the world as I hoped it would be. Meds help me a lot, and I do think you should talk to a good doctor, but that in itself is scary. Lean on us, though, and maybe we can talk you through the process, a bit at a time.

I learned a lot of yoga through the book "Light on Yoga" by B.K.S. Iyengar, and there are a lot of classes on Youtube, apparently. Really, it's just the breathing part that's good for meditation/mental health, so look for videos on Pranayama.

Lenina said something about baby steps. I love baby steps. If you have a lot of buried stuff, where can you start letting it out, a little at a time? AA does that for some people. Or a friendly pastor?

I'm so happy to see you here -- you were so missed!!! ((venus))

neferkamichael

Lenina, your alpha male SR brother here, much love to you as well.

Silver footed Isis,
Vision of loveliness that outshines all else
Bright Goddess of the night
Queen of Heaven & the Moon
Great One, Mother of all living things
Smile upon us tonight
Bless us Great Lady of the night
Bless this circle round.

Lenina

((((Nef, my brother!)))). merry meet! LOL sorry about the confusion. )0(

Love from Lenina

Odelle

I can vouch for Sam-E, I took it for years and it helped immensely. I stopped all supplements last year due to horrid acid reflux, I quit drinking too. The acid reflux cleared up within a month, but I haven’t taken supplements since. I relate to your apprehension of ADs, I had bad reactions to them also. I’ve decided to give it another go since I’ve been sober for over six months now; that may make a difference in how I react to them.

You’ve come too far in recovery to let this bring you down. Get in to see you doctor and see what is available; therapy may helpful.

I’m so sorry that you are hurting Venus, hopefully this is PAWS related and will pass soon. I’m glad your back!

needingabreak

To my dear Vee. You have so many here who care and want to help.
If I could reach through this computer and give you big hugs I would.
One day at a time. Yoga is good as is the breathing exercises. God is always with you, through every storm.

venuscat

I feel the hugs. Really. You have no idea how much this means to me....I even stopped crying. That hasn't happened in over a week.

V ♥

needingabreak

Just make sure you listen to HAPPY songs Glad you feel the love and hugs. I am teary eyed from reading your post but they are happy tears.

neferkamichael

Jeni26

Sweet V...so pleased you're back and posting.

Take it slowly...do as much as you feel able. Baby steps. We are all your friends and care for you very much. You are safe here. Xxx

CAPTAINZING2000

Matthew 11:28

Glad to see you posting

Dee74

I'm glad you're feeling a little better.

All I can recommend is - do not isolate. Stoicism is for Catholic saints and statues.
The strongest thing I ever did was ask for help.

No one deserves to suffer - noone.

Reach out to us, to those close to you, and your Dr.
I'm praying for the right resolution for you V.

D

venuscat

(((Dee))) Well, I have a few more ideas to discuss with my doctor now....and I'm wondering why she hasn't thought of any of these herself....perhaps they prescribe differently here than in the states.

Irrespective of whether I can get any medical help, I hope I can learn the lesson this time that if I isolate when I am in a bad place, it gets worse. The thing is, it got SO much worse that I lost my ability to communicate. Then I lost the desire to communicate.

I stumbled onto this amazing guy while flicking through the TED talks yesterday....19 years in prison, and now he is an inspirational author and mentor. I figured if he could survive years of solitary confinement and be the strong, whole person he is today, that I could push myself past the despair and get back here.

I still can't eat, and I still can't smile, but I no longer feel alone with a head full of out-of-control spinning thoughts.

The biggest fear is going crazy. Or was. I could have flipped over that edge I think. That was terrifying.

Baby steps. Breathing. (thank you for that Lee Lee).
Maybe some food.

Looking forward to hearing how you're doing on the house Captain. ♥

I love you Jen. (((hugs)))

V xx

Verte

Giant hugs to you venuscat. You have been such a sweet and kind force over the last few months since I have joined SR.

Oh yes things are so much worse when we do not feel in a place to share. No need to suffer alone - your friends adore you

If you have a P.O. Box please let me know and I will send you two great guided meditation CDs. My favorite one is 'the body scan' it is so thoroughly peace inducing and gentle.

Also, Pema Chödrön's books offer me an almost instantaneous feeling of connection to humanity during times when I felt desperately alone with my struggles. I'm still reading Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living...my heart calms just from reading one page as needed.

I'm so very happy that you are here and you are so courageous to share. More hugs

venuscat

(((LeTheVerte)))) Thank you ♥ So much. I will PM.

Love V xx

Gilmer

Every day since you've been gone people have been asking where you are. We all care very much! I am sorry you've been suffering so, but am very glad you're back to where we can be here for you and at the very least divert you a bit!

I hope these new avenues will bring you some relief from your agony. Always praying for you!

venuscat

Thank you Gilmer. I had convinced myself that I didn't matter. The mind can be a scary place sometimes.

♥♥♥ V xx

Gilmer

Your friends here couldn't stop missing you every day! Read back the Whiner's thread over the last month!

Ann

Venus, I too isolated and found it very hard to find my way out, in my darker days. I too kept my job and managed to remain functional there but then headed straight home to my safe place.

What helped me was nature, where I could walk and breath fresh air without having to be with people because I wasn't ready. I bought a camera because taking pictures was a hobby I could do alone, or with people, as I chose.

Today I still find my peace in nature, my balance and a spiritual connection that sees me through the rough days. The beach with the waves and the breezes that whisper along the way, a forest of deer and birds and wildflowers, even a small park where I could sit and take in the beauty...they all helped heal my soul.

I hope you find your peace again, you are very loved and we will walk with you until you can walk alone.

Hugs and love

venuscat

Thank you darling Ann. Gosh I missed you, and I need you.
Tomorrow I will be walking for hours.
I will take you all with me and not be frightened of being alone.
That's a huge blessing.

V xx

afloatsober

Venus
I feel for you and wish you wellness.
I guess the trade off for being such a kind, compassionate, loving and gentle human being is that stuff hurts a lot.
I for one would trade much of my stoic and hardheaded bull for just a little of the gentle compassion an empathy that comes naturally to you.
Part of my recovery plan is to be as brave as you.
To let it show (coz it is there) and to deal with the pain that i am afraid might follow.
If i can be half as brave and dignified as you it will be an immense leap forward for me.
My best wishes sent with love...
Gary x