joinedintime

HT, I'm only over in this section of SR sporadically, but it doesn't take much time here to know that you really do help people. You have good karma (or whatever term you want to use) in the bank. It will come back to you when you need it the most. Remember you have many friends.

hippyhippy

Teach,
I hope maybe you have heard from your son now. I can feel your anx. I am rubbish at giving advice re anx as I know how bad I am at taking it. One thing that does help me a little, is acceptance of what little control I have. This used to make me worse (I am a bit of a control freak!) but now it makes me feel....the situation will be the same whether I panic or not.
As to the xanax. If they help you through a tough time, then let them. That is what they are for. I took a diazepam yesterday and I had hoped to never take any more.
Take care of yourself.
(((hugs))
Hippy

historyteach

Thanks, Joinedintime, Hippy, Jurneyman and all....

I go back to school today after two weeks. that's good. It will keep my mind occupied and put me back on a schedule. I'm not good without a schedule. LOL!
And doesn't it figure; we had an ice storm early this morning. School is delayed one hour! And tomorrow, I have to have ANOTHER root canal! oy! (Thankfully, my insurance started again on Jan 1, so, I'm ok for this one. Just have to pay for the last one!) But, I'll be out of school tomorrow for that. Then, I can get back into a routine.
Maybe I'll try to see my counselor tomorrow...

I haven't heard from my son. Neither has my ex. He and his g/f left so much stuff here at my house. Tons of clothes. And *all* the children's presents from the holidays! That just makes me so sick...The little girl wanted nothing but Baby Alive, and it's sitting upstairs in my house two weeks after the holiday...

Joinedintime, that was a very nice thing you said about karma. thank you!

I hope everyone else is doing well. Let's hear what's going on in your life. :ghug

Shalom!

hippyhippy

Hi there.

glad you are back at work if it makes you feel better Teach.
I am sure you will hear from your son in time. It is hard for you at the moment though, I do understand.

Where is everyone these days? Not seen Live or Nadm for a while. On saying that, I haven't been posting much myself.

I am still not back at work. I have a meeting on Monday to discuss whether they will fire me on the grounds of incapability. Don't know how I feel about it. Scared of the effect it is going to have on me if I am fired.

Pdoc has FINALLY agreed that my body will not accept lamotragine, no matter how slowly we increase it. I got as far as 75mg but he says I need a lot more than that and it is just not going to work. Sooooooooo, I am back on Valproate and Quetiapine. Early days yet. Still up and down like a blooming yo yo! A bit giddy att he moment...which is quite nice! Have pdoc tomorrow and have overwhelming desire to tell him I love him! Not in any sort of attraction type way...just in the way that a hippy like me does love everyone she likes/cares for! Methinks I had best suppress that desire or meds will be increased! LOL!

Love you all!
Hippy
x

historyteach

Well, he called me tonight.
And he left a note at my house yesterday. He came while i was at work, and picked up a lot of their stuff they had left behind.
Tonight, he was very depressed. Said he was trying to make the best of things.
He's coming by tomorrow.
At least I know he's ok... Which is good.

Hippy,
I know what you mean about that falling in love stuff with your doc. Don't tell him though! LOL! It's a common reaction, and it's in the medical books that they study. Patients often fall for their docs; particularry pregnant patients! LOL!
So, don't worry about it. It only makes you normal!

Shalom!

hippyhippy

So glad you heard from your son Teach and that he is ok. You will be able to breathe a little easier now eh?

I know it is common for patients to fall in love with their docs/therapists! I do it all the time! Seriously!
I didn't tell my pdoc I loved him....I was in a horrid mood yesterday and told him quite the opposite.....that I wished I had never ever been referred to him and thus never met thim!
I am but such a child at times!

Hippy
xx

historyteach

Yes, I feel better hearing from him. He's here with me right now. Not for long, but, to get his feet on the ground.

i'm sorry, but, I almost laughed when I heard that you told off your doc! LOL! Nothing like mood swings to keep life action filled, huh?

I think it's good to feel childish at times. We have enough time when we have to be serious and responsible and adult. it's good to let loose and let it go once in a while. Course, it depends upon where and with whom! LOL!

Shalom!

panduh

hey guys im new to this forum, and i guess im also a new resident in BP Town, haha.
I'm bi2. And i also have to admit that i love my manic states. makes me feel like im on speed again (fyi speed/alcohol were my poisens).

im glad i found this BP forum.

historyteach

Welcome panduh!
I look forward to getting to know you!

Shalom!

panduh

thanks teach. and just wondering are your really a teacher? in real life...

historyteach

Yup, really a teacher...
And a history teacher to boot!

And you?

Shalom!

jurneyman

Panduh, Welcome to the BP thread, I am also learning to deal with BP2, and my drugs of choice for most of my adult life, were also alcohol and speed, and not always in that order, trying to self medicate myself into feeling normal, when no anti-depressant would help.

panduh

nope im just a student in US history. and my teacher just gave me a 77 in the class and it made me soooooooooooo pissed. but i called up my sponser and then i went for a run. that was my improve of the day (im proud of it).

panduh

and jurnyman it sucks trying to self medicate. i must admit that i tried to at first with my amphet.s then they just got out of control. i know we're no s'pose to talk about medical advice but have you gotten a psych. yet? mine put me on mood stabilizers and they seem to be working out pretty well for me.

if u ever need someone to talk to PM me.

mxchaos

Thanks history teach for inviting to BP town, Sorry about the counselors. Did you try and reach the one before he left. Are you looking for a new one? I'd never survive if mine left me.

historyteach

Thanks, mxchaos,
I'm supposed to see her today.

But, I also have a very vital union meeting today.
And I'm honestly torn cause the governor is going after our pensions and our pay and our health insurance at a time when we haven't had a raise in three years and we've been working without a contract for two years! And I'm at the breaking point financially!
So, I really don't know what I'm going to do, to be honest....

And whatever I do, it's going to hurt on the other end...
I hate these lose/lose decisions!

But, I'm glad you came over and joined us, mxchaos!!!

Panduh,
Glad your mood stabalizers are working for you! That can be the biggest hurdle for bipolars. When it works, it works, though, as they say!

Today is my second day not smoking. Wish me luck.

Shalom!

mxchaos

wow you certainly have a lot on your plate I hope things go well for you on all fronts.

good luck

jurneyman

HT, It always takes some of the load off my back, by turning it over to my Higher Power
and let Him help, that is what He asks us to do. Now quitting smoking that is a win/win situation, you not only save money, you save your health.
Panduh, I have had a Pdoc. for about 5 months, and I am also on a mood stabilizer, that
I have added a low dose of an anti depressant, since I have been in a low mood lately,
maybe because of the short daylight hours.
mxchaos, Welcome to the BP thread, what is happening with you that you are working on?

historyteach

Well, I decided to go see my counselor and say good bye.
And what a surprise I got!
She is not leaving!!!

Instead, a number of clients called and complained because she was leaving due to the fact that she was part time, therefore, no health benefits. She got another job. when people called -- lots of them -- the place offered her full time!
Long over due, I might add, too.

So, I missed my union meeting, but, I got good news, so, it's ok. I'll go downtown later this week to find out what I missed.

Thanks for your support, folks. :ghug

Shalom!

mxchaos

Glad she's not leaving now I hope you get good new from the union meeting.

You asked where I was from on my other thread. western Ma.

Still riding the coaster but my tdoc assures me that I'm doing good and to just keep working towards healthy. He doesn't want to mess with my meds just yet because they've been working good til now. The swings aren't that strong and I email my tdoc daily so he knows how I'm doing.