FreeOwl

Tell me about it!!

Four kids ages 3-19 all living at home, plus a highly-active dog. All are on Work From Home and school-from-home and it's utter chaos.... since March.

But I'll tell ya what!!! It's already getting better to deal with.

Last night I sat the family down for a meeting around the table, asked them for help around the house with some new systems, allocated time to spend with each of my daughters, running, reading, playing guitar - so our week was more mapped out and not as reactive.

My wife and I have been making headway on getting our arms around some of the things that have gotten away from us financially, we're developing a hopeful plan for the business we started, and I'm actually feeling pretty positive about the potential that lies ahead for us..... while there's a lot going on in the world to be concerned about, a lot of uncertainty in the air..... at the same time, I really am beginning to be optimistic.

Been a long while since I felt that way..... Day 6 is a great day.

Talk soon

FlyingDutchMan

The optimism really shines through in your posts, so nice to read and I really hope it brings great things for you and your family.

One thing is certain: smoking MJ will not improve any situation in the long run. It can be tempting to think it will, especially when we are not feeling too great or whatever triggers us, but I am certain you're on the right path buddy. You sound like your on top of things.

Have a great day! That goes for the rest of you too

FreeOwl

Good morning!! Got a late start today and had a workshop to present.... but all is great on Day 7!!

Sleep was better, dealing with night sweats like crazy, but feeling really good!

Also... to George's point..... Holland is a town in Southwest Michigan. They have a tulip festival and a lovely beach.

FlyingDutchMan

Hahaha I definitely want to go there then, check the place out. I’ll be wearing my Vandelay Industries cycling kit for sure. (When we didn’t know what to do for a jersey design, me and a friend (who’s also a big Seinfeld fan) came up a Vandelay Industries kit and actually had it made too. Jerseys and shorts. Looks pretty professional and I have a laugh every time I put it on).

OK, that’s it with the Seinfeld talk, I promise.

I’m on the evening of my day 9, a day well spent. Home schooled the kids, worked from home, did garden work with the kids and after that they had such a blast with the old Christmas tree that was at the side of the road for pick up. It goes to show that they don’t need a ton of toys to enjoy themselves.

Just rode my bike for 75 minutes, now a well deserved shower, a cup of tea and then off to bed. I seem to have become an ace sleeper.

Hope your day was as good as mine.

Dee74

This is a great thread to read
congrats to both of you guys on your week/ 8 days

D

FreeOwl

Day 8 has arrived. And I am grateful. And sober. And cannabis free.

Love you guys.

FlyingDutchMan

Thanks Dee, happy to give some of the pleasure back that I've found in your posts over the years.

FreeOwl

Thanks, Dee!

End of Day 8 I'm feeling pretty exhausted and defeated by a long day of work that has culminated in a feeling that I'm careening back down a path of stress and frustration and despair... but that's all mainly related to the ongoing trainwreck that is my effort to launch a business in the midst of pandemic and various other chaos.

Good news is I'm feeling those feelings in sobriety, clear-headed and able to at least cope with it one thing at a time rather than just getting high and blowing it off.

FreeOwl

End of Day 9 - another run with my daughter in the night forest. This time, also pulling the toddler in our child-stroller-sleigh. Cannabis free, making strides with counseling, coaching and some men's group work.

Long day of work and going to bed.

Hope you're doing well, FDM

FreeOwl

DAY. TEN!!!!!



Milestone.

Have a great day all!!!

Clean AND Sober!!!!

courage2

<3 your posts FreeOwl.

I was a pothead and a stoner in my youth, but it never became an addiction -- not my drug of choice. But I've known a lot of people who have just never have -- so far -- really engaged with life, because they'd rather, time after time, choose weed. Wasted is the word, sad.

Congratulations on getting clean and best wishes for the journey!

(love your signature, Dutch)

FlyingDutchMan

Dear everybody, I was so busy the last couple of days that I haven't had the time to really contribute. How I would've coped with all this busy-ness and maintain a full scale MJ-addiction on the side...I don't even want to think about it. Thankfully it's a theoretical question, because I am nearing a 2 week streak without either MJ or alcohol.

I've been feeling great, lotsa energy and a very positive attitude. I've been in contact with so many people while normally I would seclude myself a little.

And I've been losing weight as well, which makes me wonder if I can win the Tour the France this year (big fat wink).

Owl, I know you feel it yourself but you are blessed to be living in a place like that. Our little country is PACKED with 17 millions people and it's nearly impossible to go somewhere and not be surrounded by people. Nature is all man-made, we hardly see any stars at night and it sounds like you are living in a paradise-like place going by my standards.

Thanks for the compliment about the signature courage2, I think it's such a funny part of that episode, with Jerry and George sporting moustaches on the side.

FreeOwl

Thanks FDM.... yes indeed. It truly is a paradise. From where I sit right now, I hear the roar of the waves crashing on the beach about 150 feet to my north. The largest freshwater lake in the world is my front yard. Thousands of acres of wilderness is my back yard. I am deeply blessed and I don't forget that. I have seen the throngs of people in places like Shanghai, ******, Amsterdam in my travels throughout the world. I used to believe myself to be an extrovert. But now I realize I am in many ways the opposite. While I enjoy the energy of others, I enjoy it most in limited numbers. Crowds are not for me. I need alone time, recharge time, wilderness time. I was raised here, my mother a single Mom and a school teacher who loved the outdoors and fostered that love in me.

Thank you for the reminder.... today I will be consciously thankful for that, and I will head out into nature in your honor, in my honor, in honor of Spirit and of our sobriety and drug-free journey together.

Day 11.

FlyingDutchMan

Enjoy my friend!

I'm going outside with the kids, it's snowing here and that has been a while ago. They are so excited.

courage2

Hey, I been there!

This thread has so much positive energy. Cheers for you!

FreeOwl

Welp.... what should be day 11 yesterday became Day One today.

Again.

I'll post a separate thread about this as I'm feeling it warrants its own focus.

Here I go again.

FlyingDutchMan

We’re here for support if you need it Owl, and I am kinda curious as to what happened. Going by your posts, I felt I was going to cave in sooner than you would. Hope all is well with you!

FreeOwl

it turns out that the addictive, impulsive, the reflexive won out. No excuses. I felt really good and had every reason and every bit of evidence to arm myself with and..... nope.

Dee74

re-read the great post you made about hanging with your kids again., Those experiences are, to me, totally incompatible with using pot.

Your AV may pedal the line you can do both - hey man cut back....just get baked while watching netflix late at might...-
but we both know that presupposes a degree of control we both simply don't have.

I couldn't use/ingest/smoke moderately - that turned out to be a good thing because I rediscovered the real me when I didn't use at all.

D

FreeOwl

Yep. I agree. And it IS the same insidious little AV. "hey, you made it ten whole days, it's a Saturday night, there's nothing really going on, the world is filled with crap, you can take a little break".......

I didn't actually say or 'hear' those things outright.... it's like they were... felt. Just subtly underlying my awareness. It's even sneakier than booze.

For me, that has always, always, always - eventually - led to pretty much daily use.

CLEAN AND SOBER.

This is The Way.