On Being A Pothead
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 754
Hey Owl, how are you today? I haven’t had the time to really engage in the forum activities the last two days. I’m busy during the day and I am busy in the evenings. I am however spending my time in a meaningful manner, but I do feel a little sorry for not being around so much.
I hope you are doing well. Please send us an update no matter how you are feeling. Take care my man!
I hope you are doing well. Please send us an update no matter how you are feeling. Take care my man!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Hi FDM!! Thanks for checking in. I also hadn't had free time to check in much and was on about my increasingly-busy life as the quarter begins to pick up and my work commitments pile up.
Was doing pretty OK. However.
A friend of mine, a local farmer, gifted me a big fat back of weed along with the poultry and eggs he dropped off for me. It was a kind gesture that came from gratitude for some help I'd given him. So there it was, in the box with the other goodies.
Should have declined it, given it back, spoken my truth and stymied my own struggle. But, I didn't.
Sure enough, I wound up smoking a little.
Which was a stark reminder that my lungs are NOT OK with me smoking anything.....
The irony here is that I'd gotten my chest x-ray result back this week and it showed 'all clear'..... so whatever is going on in my lungs doesn't appear to be (at this time) related to tumors or terminal lung cancer.
So, now it is.... again.... Day 1.
I'll re-gift that bag of weed to a friend today.
Take my lesson... again.
Embrace my reminder.... again.
And keep at it.
I'm heartened and grateful for the many days of non-use I've had over the past month.
I'm not happy about my continued failures.....
But I'm not going to beat myself over it and I'm going to keep chipping away at my mental / emotional / spiritual weaknesses.
Have a great day! Thank you for checking in.
Was doing pretty OK. However.
A friend of mine, a local farmer, gifted me a big fat back of weed along with the poultry and eggs he dropped off for me. It was a kind gesture that came from gratitude for some help I'd given him. So there it was, in the box with the other goodies.
Should have declined it, given it back, spoken my truth and stymied my own struggle. But, I didn't.
Sure enough, I wound up smoking a little.
Which was a stark reminder that my lungs are NOT OK with me smoking anything.....
The irony here is that I'd gotten my chest x-ray result back this week and it showed 'all clear'..... so whatever is going on in my lungs doesn't appear to be (at this time) related to tumors or terminal lung cancer.
So, now it is.... again.... Day 1.
I'll re-gift that bag of weed to a friend today.
Take my lesson... again.
Embrace my reminder.... again.
And keep at it.
I'm heartened and grateful for the many days of non-use I've had over the past month.
I'm not happy about my continued failures.....
But I'm not going to beat myself over it and I'm going to keep chipping away at my mental / emotional / spiritual weaknesses.
Have a great day! Thank you for checking in.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Here's how I feel about gifts of DOC.
Give it back to him with your Truth. "I don't use it any more." He won't give you more.
Please don't regift it to someone else who may have their own personal struggles with pot that THEY ALSO DON'T TALK ABOUT..
I don't buy people alcohol. Ever. I wouldn't give anyone pot either. You don't know what you don't know.
I think it's really important to not cause (or help) your brother to stumble.
Give it back to him with your Truth. "I don't use it any more." He won't give you more.
Please don't regift it to someone else who may have their own personal struggles with pot that THEY ALSO DON'T TALK ABOUT..
I don't buy people alcohol. Ever. I wouldn't give anyone pot either. You don't know what you don't know.
I think it's really important to not cause (or help) your brother to stumble.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Here's how I feel about gifts of DOC.
Give it back to him with your Truth. "I don't use it any more." He won't give you more.
Please don't regift it to someone else who may have their own personal struggles with pot that THEY ALSO DON'T TALK ABOUT..
I don't buy people alcohol. Ever. I wouldn't give anyone pot either. You don't know what you don't know.
I think it's really important to not cause (or help) your brother to stumble.
Give it back to him with your Truth. "I don't use it any more." He won't give you more.
Please don't regift it to someone else who may have their own personal struggles with pot that THEY ALSO DON'T TALK ABOUT..
I don't buy people alcohol. Ever. I wouldn't give anyone pot either. You don't know what you don't know.
I think it's really important to not cause (or help) your brother to stumble.
Like you, I haven't bought anyone alcohol since my sobriety date over seven years ago. Once I did pass on a gift of alcohol at work - it came in a gift basket and my employees called dibs. I let that be their choice, their journey.... but I don't go out of my way to provide anyone booze anymore or purchase it as a gift. The exception is my wife. Once in a great while, she will ask me to bring home a bottle of wine or a single beer from the store for her because I happen to be in town.
Anyway, I agree.
Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Unknown
Posts: 155
Anyone who says pot isn't addictive is lying to themselves.
I smoked weed on the daily for over 27 years- only break was being pregnant with my son, and a short break before becoming pregnant. It became way worse in the 90s, and and until 2010- I could not go one single day without it. I tried to find help, but so many people out there didn't buy into it being that addictive. It was for me, and now I know for so many others.
It was legalized in my state in 2012, but after quitting on my own in 2010, I never participated in buying or using legal weed. But, at that time, I went from weed to other substances- alcohol, narcotics ( which I did use during pot use too) .
Ive been clean and sober ( from everything ) now since 2016. However, last year, during the lock downs, I found myself being more and more curious about the legal stuff- and would drive by one of the dozen pot shops in my town- curious of what it looked like in there, what they had to offer, etc. Then I sat down, and really remembered the hell of getting clean and sober- the hell of quitting weed ( which I reminded myself now would be even tougher for me to quit with the higher THC levels) . The money I spent ( and I imagine I would spend a lot more now), the disconnect from my spiritual life, my family, friends, missed opportunities,the time I wasted - everything I allowed it to steal from me.
I just happened to come across this post today. I'm glad its here, and thankful to the gentlemen who started it. Pot isn't benign and, our society is starting to treat it as normal as alcohol. Its sad.
This, today, has made me more grateful for my sobriety, and to anyone trying to guess if pots a problem, read on to all the people who've taken the time to share a story. I can honestly say as a person who went from casual- I can handle it use- to being severely uncomfortable without it ( which lead to reaching for other mind altering substances) , it was a major problem for me.
I smoked weed on the daily for over 27 years- only break was being pregnant with my son, and a short break before becoming pregnant. It became way worse in the 90s, and and until 2010- I could not go one single day without it. I tried to find help, but so many people out there didn't buy into it being that addictive. It was for me, and now I know for so many others.
It was legalized in my state in 2012, but after quitting on my own in 2010, I never participated in buying or using legal weed. But, at that time, I went from weed to other substances- alcohol, narcotics ( which I did use during pot use too) .
Ive been clean and sober ( from everything ) now since 2016. However, last year, during the lock downs, I found myself being more and more curious about the legal stuff- and would drive by one of the dozen pot shops in my town- curious of what it looked like in there, what they had to offer, etc. Then I sat down, and really remembered the hell of getting clean and sober- the hell of quitting weed ( which I reminded myself now would be even tougher for me to quit with the higher THC levels) . The money I spent ( and I imagine I would spend a lot more now), the disconnect from my spiritual life, my family, friends, missed opportunities,the time I wasted - everything I allowed it to steal from me.
I just happened to come across this post today. I'm glad its here, and thankful to the gentlemen who started it. Pot isn't benign and, our society is starting to treat it as normal as alcohol. Its sad.
This, today, has made me more grateful for my sobriety, and to anyone trying to guess if pots a problem, read on to all the people who've taken the time to share a story. I can honestly say as a person who went from casual- I can handle it use- to being severely uncomfortable without it ( which lead to reaching for other mind altering substances) , it was a major problem for me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Liebe
Anyone who says pot isn't addictive is lying to themselves.
I smoked weed on the daily for over 27 years- only break was being pregnant with my son, and a short break before becoming pregnant. It became way worse in the 90s, and and until 2010- I could not go one single day without it. I tried to find help, but so many people out there didn't buy into it being that addictive. It was for me, and now I know for so many others.
It was legalized in my state in 2012, but after quitting on my own in 2010, I never participated in buying or using legal weed. But, at that time, I went from weed to other substances- alcohol, narcotics ( which I did use during pot use too) .
Ive been clean and sober ( from everything ) now since 2016. However, last year, during the lock downs, I found myself being more and more curious about the legal stuff- and would drive by one of the dozen pot shops in my town- curious of what it looked like in there, what they had to offer, etc. Then I sat down, and really remembered the hell of getting clean and sober- the hell of quitting weed ( which I reminded myself now would be even tougher for me to quit with the higher THC levels) . The money I spent ( and I imagine I would spend a lot more now), the disconnect from my spiritual life, my family, friends, missed opportunities,the time I wasted - everything I allowed it to steal from me.
I just happened to come across this post today. I'm glad its here, and thankful to the gentlemen who started it. Pot isn't benign and, our society is starting to treat it as normal as alcohol. Its sad.
This, today, has made me more grateful for my sobriety, and to anyone trying to guess if pots a problem, read on to all the people who've taken the time to share a story. I can honestly say as a person who went from casual- I can handle it use- to being severely uncomfortable without it ( which lead to reaching for other mind altering substances) , it was a major problem for me.
I smoked weed on the daily for over 27 years- only break was being pregnant with my son, and a short break before becoming pregnant. It became way worse in the 90s, and and until 2010- I could not go one single day without it. I tried to find help, but so many people out there didn't buy into it being that addictive. It was for me, and now I know for so many others.
It was legalized in my state in 2012, but after quitting on my own in 2010, I never participated in buying or using legal weed. But, at that time, I went from weed to other substances- alcohol, narcotics ( which I did use during pot use too) .
Ive been clean and sober ( from everything ) now since 2016. However, last year, during the lock downs, I found myself being more and more curious about the legal stuff- and would drive by one of the dozen pot shops in my town- curious of what it looked like in there, what they had to offer, etc. Then I sat down, and really remembered the hell of getting clean and sober- the hell of quitting weed ( which I reminded myself now would be even tougher for me to quit with the higher THC levels) . The money I spent ( and I imagine I would spend a lot more now), the disconnect from my spiritual life, my family, friends, missed opportunities,the time I wasted - everything I allowed it to steal from me.
I just happened to come across this post today. I'm glad its here, and thankful to the gentlemen who started it. Pot isn't benign and, our society is starting to treat it as normal as alcohol. Its sad.
This, today, has made me more grateful for my sobriety, and to anyone trying to guess if pots a problem, read on to all the people who've taken the time to share a story. I can honestly say as a person who went from casual- I can handle it use- to being severely uncomfortable without it ( which lead to reaching for other mind altering substances) , it was a major problem for me.
Particularly for the reminder line about all that pot had stolen from you.
For me, weed is absolutely addictive and it has been a thief in my life as well; of time, spirituality, presence, relationships, Self, honesty, focus, emotional integrity, experience..... so much. I went without for over 6 years and things were quite good in my life. Ahead of the pandemic, I made a frivolous, 'silly' choice to have a 'little pot'. That was about the time my state legalized and in rushed all the weed shops on just about every corner. During lockdown I lost my kid sister (to addiction) and life got pretty chaotic and I'd already let the demon in the door... so now I leaned on it more and more. For the past several months I've been at it, trying to get away.... I managed a number of weeks of no weed, even a full 30 days!! But as of now, back to Day Two.
Each failure decision has felt more gloomy and depressing. I don't want this in my life. What I want is to LIVE life and to be present and authentic and capable and attentive and to FEEL and to BE and to be there for my family fully.
So..... I head into this day with resolve and a prayer and humility and self forgiveness and I ask for HELP in serenity and weed-free, FULL recovery once again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Unknown
Posts: 155
Originally Posted by FreeOwl
Thank you Liebe.
Particularly for the reminder line about all that pot had stolen from you.
For me, weed is absolutely addictive and it has been a thief in my life as well; of time, spirituality, presence, relationships, Self, honesty, focus, emotional integrity, experience..... so much. I went without for over 6 years and things were quite good in my life. Ahead of the pandemic, I made a frivolous, 'silly' choice to have a 'little pot'. That was about the time my state legalized and in rushed all the weed shops on just about every corner. During lockdown I lost my kid sister (to addiction) and life got pretty chaotic and I'd already let the demon in the door... so now I leaned on it more and more. For the past several months I've been at it, trying to get away.... I managed a number of weeks of no weed, even a full 30 days!! But as of now, back to Day Two.
Each failure decision has felt more gloomy and depressing. I don't want this in my life. What I want is to LIVE life and to be present and authentic and capable and attentive and to FEEL and to BE and to be there for my family fully.
So..... I head into this day with resolve and a prayer and humility and self forgiveness and I ask for HELP in serenity and weed-free, FULL recovery once again.
Particularly for the reminder line about all that pot had stolen from you.
For me, weed is absolutely addictive and it has been a thief in my life as well; of time, spirituality, presence, relationships, Self, honesty, focus, emotional integrity, experience..... so much. I went without for over 6 years and things were quite good in my life. Ahead of the pandemic, I made a frivolous, 'silly' choice to have a 'little pot'. That was about the time my state legalized and in rushed all the weed shops on just about every corner. During lockdown I lost my kid sister (to addiction) and life got pretty chaotic and I'd already let the demon in the door... so now I leaned on it more and more. For the past several months I've been at it, trying to get away.... I managed a number of weeks of no weed, even a full 30 days!! But as of now, back to Day Two.
Each failure decision has felt more gloomy and depressing. I don't want this in my life. What I want is to LIVE life and to be present and authentic and capable and attentive and to FEEL and to BE and to be there for my family fully.
So..... I head into this day with resolve and a prayer and humility and self forgiveness and I ask for HELP in serenity and weed-free, FULL recovery once again.
I'm sorry about your sister. I too, lost a sister to addiction- it'll be 9 years this June. Its so difficult, and at that time I was still using other substances to cope. I have to say that out of all the things I used to alter my state- pot was one of the hardest to quit. I dont know if it was because I used it for longer than I used anything else, or it was the thing that calmed me down more than anything. Hard to say, but I know its no joke. Congratulations on progress. Any progress is good. For me, and some may wince at this comment, I had to get mad at it. Does that make sense? I had to get so angry with it at first so that it created an undeniable aversion in my mind. I even wrote it a letter. "To the thief" I called it. I remember that. Now, resentments are not good for people who abuse substances to hold on to, I'm just saying it was an early tool that helped me quite a bit.
Be kind to yourself. Its a journey.
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