The Quit Team
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 293
I'm really confused Dee .... part of me wants to be where I was when I was few months free ... part of me wants to still be able to enjoy it from time to time ... but that has failed every single time.
Anyway, I think I need good time off, before even attempting moderation again.
Isn't there anyone who has succeeded with moderation and occasional use ?
Anyway, I think I need good time off, before even attempting moderation again.
Isn't there anyone who has succeeded with moderation and occasional use ?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Isn't there anyone who has succeeded with moderation and occasional use ?
All I know is I tried for 30 years to find a way to smoke it and not have it run my life. I never found that way.
I'm sorry Teo but you sound like that kind of smoker to me.
Whatever benefits you feel you're getting from it, I'm betting the negatives are as much, if not more by now.
That doesn't get better the longer you smoke IMO. it gets worse.
In the end I couldn't even get high - I just turned catatonic.
I always thought not smoking would leave my life that little bit empty but it really hasn't been that way.
I'm really glad I've had a decade off the stuff.
I don't think I would have done any of the cool things I have had I been smoking.
I hope you'll give yourself the chance to give it a go - a real go - Teo.
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I think a year is a good amount of time - it's long enough to get a good idea of what a life without bondage to a drug can be like.
Also we're a little like hostages with the Stockholm syndrome.
We're bombarded with ideas that pot is innocuous, thats it's natural and that it can even be beneficial as a medicine.
The pull of pot is so persuasive that 3 months and 6 months might not be long enough to dislodge those feelings entirely.
I remember I took 3 months off once and thought gee life is good...a little smoke now and again will make it even better...
I was deep in denial, deeply addicted psychologically, and didn't even realise it.
stuff like that takes time to change.
D
Also we're a little like hostages with the Stockholm syndrome.
We're bombarded with ideas that pot is innocuous, thats it's natural and that it can even be beneficial as a medicine.
The pull of pot is so persuasive that 3 months and 6 months might not be long enough to dislodge those feelings entirely.
I remember I took 3 months off once and thought gee life is good...a little smoke now and again will make it even better...
I was deep in denial, deeply addicted psychologically, and didn't even realise it.
stuff like that takes time to change.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 970
great post , Dee ! Teo, we all understand the struggle - it's not easy. See if you can wrap your head around a year quit. Then decide from there how you feel and what you're willing to do or not do. "Quitting forever" thinking can make things feel worst and create a higher sense of dread and doom. So, I say, just quit for a good period of time where you know after that period, how you honestly feel and what you're willing to risk or not.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
I gave up all thoughts that I could moderate. I'm not built that way. I'm an addict. It's why I'm here.
Being an active addict is not how I wanted to live. I did not like myself or how I behaved. I was a slave to pot. It dictated nearly everything I did.
Sure, I could assuage the AV for a while. I took a 9 month break while pregnant, but the moment I popped that kid, out came the pipe.
The AV is like a little kid waiting for Christmas. "Not now, but sometime soon" you tell it and it waits patiently, looking forward to that promised reward.
It was hard coming to the realization that I had to tell it "Never again, just get over it!" Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was scary and sad. Heart wrenching, even.
The crazy thing is, it wasn't doing it for me anymore. It didn't take me where I wanted to go. Why did I keep trying?
It was creating the illusion of being my anchor. There when I needed it, keeping me steady. But the more I held onto to it, the more it dragged me to the bottom. My wonderful, helpful anchor was drowning me.
So I let it go and swam to the surface.
Now I've come to the realization that I can't swim to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve that anchor. It's just too heavy and I will drown if I try.
Being an active addict is not how I wanted to live. I did not like myself or how I behaved. I was a slave to pot. It dictated nearly everything I did.
Sure, I could assuage the AV for a while. I took a 9 month break while pregnant, but the moment I popped that kid, out came the pipe.
The AV is like a little kid waiting for Christmas. "Not now, but sometime soon" you tell it and it waits patiently, looking forward to that promised reward.
It was hard coming to the realization that I had to tell it "Never again, just get over it!" Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was scary and sad. Heart wrenching, even.
The crazy thing is, it wasn't doing it for me anymore. It didn't take me where I wanted to go. Why did I keep trying?
It was creating the illusion of being my anchor. There when I needed it, keeping me steady. But the more I held onto to it, the more it dragged me to the bottom. My wonderful, helpful anchor was drowning me.
So I let it go and swam to the surface.
Now I've come to the realization that I can't swim to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve that anchor. It's just too heavy and I will drown if I try.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 437
I can't find hapiness in pot. If I could, I'd have found it already.
Same choices, same results... no way around it.
One year, five years, ten years. It can go south in a only few days or weeks and we all know that.
But I do understand the "never again" issue, of course I struggle with that also, and I agree one year is a reasonable time to reavaluate things. So let's do it together. We have a good oportunity here.
Same choices, same results... no way around it.
One year, five years, ten years. It can go south in a only few days or weeks and we all know that.
But I do understand the "never again" issue, of course I struggle with that also, and I agree one year is a reasonable time to reavaluate things. So let's do it together. We have a good oportunity here.
Recovering Pothead
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 13
I am SO in! I am already feeling great after 4 days of being clean, and I just got back from my first ever NA meeting which I enjoyed very much. I too have the idea that I may be able to smoke only occasionally and with moderation after a period of abstinence, but I think I may be fooling myself.
I've been basically perma-stoned during waking hours for 25 years or so, and it just isn't working for me anymore. I need to lift this veil, clear the cloud of delusion and be the best person I can be, not only for myself, but for my AMAZING wife and son. I am so grateful to have found this community in which we can support one another on our journeys... THANK YOU!
I've been basically perma-stoned during waking hours for 25 years or so, and it just isn't working for me anymore. I need to lift this veil, clear the cloud of delusion and be the best person I can be, not only for myself, but for my AMAZING wife and son. I am so grateful to have found this community in which we can support one another on our journeys... THANK YOU!
Recovering Pothead
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by lynnmarie123 
I gave up all thoughts that I could moderate. I'm not built that way. I'm an addict. It's why I'm here.
Being an active addict is not how I wanted to live. I did not like myself or how I behaved. I was a slave to pot. It dictated nearly everything I did.
Sure, I could assuage the AV for a while. I took a 9 month break while pregnant, but the moment I popped that kid, out came the pipe.
The AV is like a little kid waiting for Christmas. "Not now, but sometime soon" you tell it and it waits patiently, looking forward to that promised reward.
It was hard coming to the realization that I had to tell it "Never again, just get over it!" Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was scary and sad. Heart wrenching, even.
The crazy thing is, it wasn't doing it for me anymore. It didn't take me where I wanted to go. Why did I keep trying?
It was creating the illusion of being my anchor. There when I needed it, keeping me steady. But the more I held onto to it, the more it dragged me to the bottom. My wonderful, helpful anchor was drowning me.
So I let it go and swam to the surface.
Now I've come to the realization that I can't swim to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve that anchor. It's just too heavy and I will drown if I try.
Being an active addict is not how I wanted to live. I did not like myself or how I behaved. I was a slave to pot. It dictated nearly everything I did.
Sure, I could assuage the AV for a while. I took a 9 month break while pregnant, but the moment I popped that kid, out came the pipe.
The AV is like a little kid waiting for Christmas. "Not now, but sometime soon" you tell it and it waits patiently, looking forward to that promised reward.
It was hard coming to the realization that I had to tell it "Never again, just get over it!" Probably the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was scary and sad. Heart wrenching, even.
The crazy thing is, it wasn't doing it for me anymore. It didn't take me where I wanted to go. Why did I keep trying?
It was creating the illusion of being my anchor. There when I needed it, keeping me steady. But the more I held onto to it, the more it dragged me to the bottom. My wonderful, helpful anchor was drowning me.
So I let it go and swam to the surface.
Now I've come to the realization that I can't swim to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve that anchor. It's just too heavy and I will drown if I try.
Recovering Pothead
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome CloudsofDelusion 
D
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington state
Posts: 571
Yes, welcome to Sober Recovery, CloudsofDelusion!
I credit this place for helping me get and stay sober. First with alcohol and now with pot. It's an amazing source of knowledge and support.
I'm here at least once a day!
I credit this place for helping me get and stay sober. First with alcohol and now with pot. It's an amazing source of knowledge and support.
I'm here at least once a day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 970
I bring up the one year goal because if you say forever, some minds find those fighting words and will go to war with that not-yet-form new belief that Life is better sober and that pot is not needed for a good Life. It's to avoid creating internal resistance where none is needed at this point. For others, the idea of quitting forever works because it makes it final and complete - no need to think about it. So, both ways are valid , so go with whatever feels right to you is my belief.
Off to work now - have a great day, team - here's to another sober day !
Off to work now - have a great day, team - here's to another sober day !
Recovering Pothead
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 13
Rather than trying to sleep or smoke my misery away today, I let it motivate me. I just got back from the gym where I burned almost 1100 calories in 90 minutes, and I'm feeling so good. Clean life is amazing so far!
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