FlyingDutchMan

Tedor: I chose to move my reply to this section, in response to your post in MM's thread.

That's not nice, I feel for you. I can imagine you are not feeling good because I felt like that myself many times. It can be so hard looking at the positive sides of quitting when you feel so bad doing it. I do think that caving in will not make you feel better though. It's not good for your self esteem to make resolutions and break them. I know first hand!

And as I said in my own thread: you wanted to quit while you were smoking. Think about that long and hard. You know you don't want to go back to the old life, but feeling so low is tempting you to. It will not solve anything in the long term though.

Hope I don't come across too moralistically. At these times I really notice that I am not a native English speaker and I'm having trouble finding the right words to say exactly what I want to say.

Stay strong Tedor. You are doing something good for yourself, please never forget that. And things WILL get better!

lynnmarie123

Originally Posted by teodor
Hi folks,

Day 4 here ... I don't feel good no appetite, my stomach is not ok, I'm restless, always tired, not in the mood, i've cold and hot waves, troubles concentrating.

I know it's normal, but on the other hand, there were times where 4 days will be better already and I feel bad now.

I hope I'll be better soon, coz it's so hard like that

Thanks for the support!

Hi Teodor
First off, welcome back!
I am sorry you are feeling so awful. But it's gotta get bad before it gets better.
I really suspect that kindling may be the culprit here. Never pick up again and you'll never have to do this again...ever! Since withdrawal keeps getting more severe with each quit, imagine how the next one will be.
Just hang in there. Withdrawal won't last forever. Keep thinking long term.
Wishing you well!

teodor

Thank you FlyingDutch, your response means a lot to me!

Yeah, caving in won't make me feel better and even if it does, it will be temporary, I know that, coz I've done it so many times .... making resolutions and breaking them and again and again and again ....

I'm just .... tired ... but I know I must go on ....

Yeah, you're right, I wanted to quit while smoking ... but also wanted to smoke while stopped. It's so crazy.

I know that if I smoke now, nothing good will happen ...

I'm also not sure what I'll be doing in the future, I'm trying not to set goals ... it's demoralizing ... I've done that so many times ...

Thank you for your help, I know I'm rambling and etc, but it helps sometimes to vent out.

Any suggestions ?
Thank you!

teodor

Thanks lynnmarie123!

But the thought of never again it's so frightening to me. That's why I don't want to set goals, just going day by day, until I feel good and will see from there.

Why is that every quit gets harder ? If you have detoxed fully previously, why would it be harder ? I'm not sure I get it.

Thank you for your support!
A lot of best wishes.

FlyingDutchMan

You're welcome Tedor. I made numerous attempts at quitting and I'm far from being in the safe zone. Tomorrow will be a month. It's still nothing compared to the 22 years I've smoked daily. If other attempts to quit are a reference, the hard times are ahead of me. The initial quitting has never been a huge thing for me, but staying quit is my pitfall.

For me, like others, it's been easier in my head now that I've told myself that I will quit for good. Not anymore, never again. I choose to focus my energy on living without pot and I don't want to dwell on it anymore. I was so tired of myself in that aspect in earlier attempts. Making a firm decision and questioning it again, over and over...until I reasoned myself into starting again...which turned out as a big disappointment alsmost as soon as I lit a joint.

Sometimes it has felt a bit unfair that quitting doesn't bring instant huge benefits. I feel tired, I feel lame, sometimes I feel completely joyless. In that case I try to focus on all the positive things that are happening which I take for granted. For instance: no worrying about my health all the time. Small but valuable things. I hope you can find some of those things too.

Keep us updated, post ten times a day if it makes you feel better. Just rule out that one solution that isn't really a solution: don't light one!

Stay strong!

lynnmarie123

"For me, like others, it's been easier in my head now that I've told myself that I will quit for good."

^This^ This is what made the difference for me. It was the hardest thing to do, even harder than the initial quitting. But it freed me. Once you make that decision, there is no going back. It's like taking the shackles off and leaving the chains behind.

Pacoloco

For me too.

Dee74

I went the I'm done route with pot too but I get the fear of forever - I had that with alcohol

what I did was commit one day then committed again the next -it wasn't really try 24 hours and then see what happens... it was an ongoing commitment - but breaking it up into 24 hour lots was manageable...I could do that.

I made sure I did everything possible to not smoke.

Eventually I had a long string of days behind me and forever wasn't so scary anymore

D

teodor

Thank you friends!
It's Day 5 here, it seems I feel a little bit better, but will see ...

Yeah, the idea of never ever is very scary to me, so I'm trying to just make it day by day and see from there.

FlyingDutchMan - you've a feast day today! Congratulations! You should reward yourself with something nice!

I feel you on the quitting and the benefits - they are more in the long run. I liked the idea with focusing on the positive things.

Thank you friends!

teodor

Any suggestions for the appetite issue ? I'm really unable to eat and very nervous and tired at the same time. It's like I want to sleep but at the same time I'm super nervous and cannot stay in one place.

I'm unable to eat normally, I know it's normal, but this time it's taking a lot of time ....

Any suggestions will be appreciated!
Thank you!

lynnmarie123

I sped up my detox with sweaty exercise. Perhaps that will increase your energy output and need for calories.
Are you nauseous?

teodor

Yes, very much indeed, especially if my stomach is empty + coughing and sometimes I'm close to vomit.

It's hard, coz I feel my stomach empty, but I have difficulties eating at the same time ...

Yeah, I plan to soon visit the gym, but I need some energy to do it.

Thank you!

FlyingDutchMan

Glad we could help Teodor, unfortunately my 1 month celebration ended in a near nervous breakdown, or at least it felt like it. I'll update you on my day in my thread.

Take a little time to realise you were feeling very low but didn't cave in. That's worth a feast in itself. Keep trucking!

teodor

Thank you, there's wisdom in your words.
Hope everything is OK with you. Was the breakdown pot related or ?

Keep us updated!

FlyingDutchMan

Fortunately it wasn't. I felt exactly like you did: stressed and very tired. It's a bit of a rollercoaster sometimes.

FlyingDutchMan

Teodor, about the quitting-for-good-thought: my first serious attempt at quitting took place in 2007. I was getting curious about myself because I'd smoked regularly since I turned 16 and made it a daily habit two years later. I wanted to know how pot affected me. In order to keep things simple in my head I made a deal with myself. Six months, I would quit for six months. After that period I would be able to make a thought-out decision.

The first months were a bit weird. I wanted to smoke, it crossed my mind a lot. After about three months I started to feel liberated. I didn't need it anymore. I felt better without it. I can still hear myself saying to my girlfriend: "I don't think I will ever start again!"

Six months passed and I got curious again. I was so naive back then thinking that six months had killed of the habit. That I wasn't addicted anymore. So after six months and a week I cycled off to the coffee shop, bought some pot and I was SO sure that I wouldn't make the same mistakes as before. Just once to see how it felt again.

So I lit up, didn't like the feeling at all but still...I was smoking daily again after about a week. What the hell was wrong with me? I should've been wiser. It could've saved me 11 years and a lot of failed attempts to quit again.

The moral of this story: do everything you need to keep things simple in your head. For me, in this attempt, it is "never again." That wasn't a possibilty in 2007. It would have freaked me out. But promise yourself one thing: ride it out for a certain amount of time, and if you like living without pot (and you will) never get tempted to smoke it out of curiosity. And don't fool yourself by thinking you've lost the habit by quitting only for a short time. Once you've been a daily smoker for a certain period it is -in my view- nearly if not impossible to become the occasional smoker we all wanted to be.

I have no idea if I am making sense and if this is a wise advice but I'm gonna hit the reply button anyway. There's always the edit-function if I change my mind

teodor

Hi bro, it does make sense ... I too have stopped for long periods in the past, once for almost an year, then would start again thinking it would be different this time and sometimes it is! but only for like a week or two ... and that is every time ... sometimes when I start I won't like it, sometimes I'll love it, no matter what though, soon enough I'm back to daily smoking.

The never again freaks me out right now, so I'm just ... taking it day by day.
I really have no plan on how long I'm not going to smoke etc.

I'm just trying to get my self together and feel good again! Yeah, I know that exactly when you feel good is dangerous, because you start fantasizing about smoking again, but ...

I've no idea if we could be occasional pot smokers ... maybe if we really change the way we think, the way we perceive things, the way we live ... then maybe yes ... but will we need it then ?

Nevertheless, we're not smoking now and that's what matters!

Thank you!

FlyingDutchMan

teodor

It's Day 6 here ... woke up with nausea ... my stomach is sick ... I cough but not so much because of the lungs, but because of nausea ... it's really hard friends i just feel like crying ... I'm scared to be honest ... don't know what to do .... not sure if I remember being like that on Day 6 ... I'm a mess ... don't want so start smoking because of it, but I also don't want to be like that .... I might be having depression, because I was feeling bad even before I stopped smoking, I mean I've already lost appetite and etc, I've stopped training and etc, but now it's even worse ... and no, I don't want to take pills

Don't know if this is normal or not ... nausea is getting bad, sometimes it feels like I'm close to vomit. I was ill before I stopped smoking and that might be contributing as well, coz I'm still not OK (I even was on antibiotics) and I was not feeling OK for quite long time.

I'm sorry for being so negative ... that doesn't feel like myself.
I want to be happy ...

Thank you for being here for me despite of everything

Dee74

There's this thing called kindling Teo - it means that the longer we abuse something the worse our withdrawal gets.

I think that can apply to pot too -despite the opinion of those who don;t see it as a physical addiction.

I guises what I'm saying is, as bad as it is this time, it could very well be worse if there were to be a next time..

try to see it not as an ordeal but as an incentive to stay focused - you need never feel this way again man.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

D