mareahh

I have some questions that I'd like opinions on. Thank you.

1) How long does it take for the urge to use to go away after you stop using?

2) Who is considered the "active user" and "addict in recovery"

3) Will an active addict tell you when they using?

4) If an addict in recovery promises to tell you when they have an urge, do they actually tell you?

5) what are the chances of relapse ?

Hammer

Just my observations from walking through the zoo . . . .


1) How long does it take for the urge to use to go away after you stop using?

IF you are asking about real addicts -- a lifetime.

2) Who is considered the "active user" and "addict in recovery"

You know the tree by the fruits.

3) Will an active addict tell you when they using?

hahahaha. Sure. Maybe. No Never. Ok. Maybe. Only count on this if you are the supplier.

4) If an addict in recovery promises to tell you when they have an urge, do they actually tell you?

See Answer #3.

5) what are the chances of relapse ?

High.

mareahh

What is a "real addict"

1) How long does it take for the urge to use to go away after you stop using?

IF you are asking about real addicts -- a lifetime.

Hammer

Again, just my observations from passing through the zoo and studying the critters . . . .

Some are "situation based" -- change the situation and the need to self-medicate can end.

Some are "past trauma" -- go back and fix the trauma and the need to self-medicate can end.

and Some -- are Hardware / Hardwired Brain problems (can go a lot deeper, if needed), which may also show up as various Mental Illness, and that can last a lifetime.

mareahh

I'm having a hard time determining if my boyfriend is a "real addict". I'm a nurse and I work in mental health/addictions. I've also studied a lot about addictions. I just don't think or feel like he is a true addict. Nor does some of my co workers. So idk

mstrust

what's the drug, if you don't mind me asking? because from my experience and understanding, if you are talking about opiates, for example, i don't believe for a second there is such a thing as casual, part-time use. not really. also, i've had acquaintances of my ex and mine who were unable to understand how big the problem really was because opiate addicts can be so high functioning and don't necessarily look f**ked up. at all. i'm too observant and too detail-oriented, so i was able to pick up on a lot of little things that other people didn't. that's not a point of pride, it's an illustration of codependency. anyway, point being, some people seem they are doing fine when they really aren't at all. and i agree with hammer, they don't tell the truth about use. mine swore up and down over and over that he would be honest and he told me he KNEW he could come to me with the truth and i would be there. um, no. never. not once. concerning his drug use and all things associated with it, he was never honest.

Katiekate

Does his use of substance effect you??? Your relationship with him???

Why are you asking????

Hammer

You have tracked the various fMRI studies?

What do you know of his family of origin?

cynical one

Does he continue to use substances despite negative consequences?

mareahh

I haven't tracked any MRIs. I mean like reading up on it. And familiarizing myself with addiction. His drug of choice was oxy. For about a week he used coke and heroin. Then got caught and went to jail. 6 months later. He's still in jail. He has gone thru an extensive substance abuse program. No. His substance abuse isn't the main focus of our relationship. And it doesn't affect me. It's not my problem. It's his.

mareahh

No. He can't use. He's in jail.

cynical one

So he's not in jail for anything to do with drugs? Possession, stealing to support his habit, aggression while using, driving impaired, etc.?

mareahh

He's in jail for possession. He is being accused of other things (stealing) but that stuff isn't true. (Know for fact so dont tell me im being naive) They are sorting it all out.

SNST

Sorry, but thats a BIG Red Flag JMO

mareahh

Opinion to? Do you associate every person who's incarcerated as a drug addict?

cynical one

I’m not sure if ^^^ that question was for me.

If his use of drugs has no effect on you or your relationship with him, and he’s not using despite negative consequences, he probably just got caught up with the wrong people, and was at the wrong place at the wrong time and is just a recreational user. It sounds like you have a good healthy positive attitude and it also sounds like he’s doing all the right things during his unfortunate incarceration. It was probably just a phase. Good luck to both of you.

mareahh

No it wasn't towards you. And thank you for being positive

Ann

Mareahh, I'm glad you work in the mental health and addiction field, because somewhere there I think you can find the answers...the truth. Because you don't want it to be so, won't change the fact that he IS an addict...there, I said it out loud. I say it not to be mean, but to try to help you see the truth.

Nobody thinks "Hey, I think I'll go out Saturday night and shoot up some heroin." Well somebody does and that person is an addict, because only an addict would be that desperate. Heroin is not a casual use recreational drug.

He is in jail, somebody decided he was guilty or he wouldn't be there.

All that said...what about YOU? How is his drug use and incarceration affecting you? And what are you doing to find or keep your balance through all this.

His use of drugs has affected you enough for you to come here and ask these questions.

We're here for you, there are a lot of good threads up in the Sticky Posts at the top of this forum that might help you answer your questions honestly.

I wish you the best, however this unfolds for you.

Hugs

legna

It varies widely. In my own case: Seven years before I found recovery, I found crack. I hadused just about everything prior to that but once I found crack I was pretty faithful to the drug. I smoked about an ounce a day for the last seven years of active addiction. I suffered heart failure during detox and spent three days unconscious after they restarted my heart. I came to six days after my last use and the urge was gone.

I credit my mindset just before my heart quit. I elieved that if I didn't have a hit that I would die - and I consciously chose death rather than picking up again. That was a key moment in my recovery - I celebrated 21 years clean on May 10th of this year.

Again, opinions vary widely. My personal take: An addict is in recovery when they become willing to do anything to stay clean.

Depends upon the relationship. My wife and I have told each other; most don't. I think the key is safety. Most addicts don't feel safe telling their partnrs that they are using. I am not judging anyone here - most non-using partners react with disbelief, anger, etc. We both reacted differently than this...seperate the persons worth from the behavior and I think it becomes safer for the addict to tell you. My wife and I never took it personally, we knew the shame and guilt that go along with that admission and reacted accordingly.

Again, what reaction will they get? Usually an addict who has an urge will feel enough shame, guilt, fear, etc. that a huge helping of disappointment and judgment is more than they are going to voluntarily accept.

Very high. If the drug is extraordinarily addictive physically (i.e. meth, crack, etc.) then the lure is very strong. If it is less so (i.e. and imo, pot) then the idea that they can quit later is usually present and hence the consequences of relapse are usually mild enough by comparison that it is easier to pick up with the thought that they can quit at a later date.

mareahh

He is in jail because of probable cause not because he has been convicted and found guilty of the crimes he is being accused of. I've seen the paperwork and I know his lawyer personally. He didn't do what's being accused besides the drug possession. Of course no one picks up heroin and is like hmm imma do it. But haven't we all been curious? He on the other had was ready taking pills so why not try heroin? He didn't like it. Didn't do it again. That is a good thing to me. I KNOW my boyfriend is a drug users in the past but I truly believe his use was situational. He and I weren't together at the time he was using.(Were fighting)We didn't become close till after he went to jail.