terryr97

And it was the "When Does The Pain Stop" stickie that did it. Thank God! I actually looked at my exabf for what he is now, and not the guy I fell in love with 4 years ago. Yes, he was, and still is, a great guy when he's clean. Maybe. After all the lies and manipulations, It would take a lot of work to trust him again. Unfortunately, as much as I know how much he wants his old life with me back, not only am I not willing to wait around for that day when he finally gets that "thing" that makes sobriety stick, but I know I'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop and him relapse. Plus, after all the insanity, I just don't feel anything for him anymore. The man I fell in love with, replaced by a hood rat.

I'm working on moving on, which isn't easy but, after 4 yrs of the insanity, its not that hard either. I'm doing NC cos I dont want him to have to make up lies. I have to leave him where he is, to find his own way back. Or not. Unfortunately, as with my sister and some friends lately, I know that some of us have to die. I hope he doesn't and I pray for him everynight, but I've made it no longer my business. He's gonna do what he's gonna do anyways so I'm done with stressing over it.

So, like the stickie said: The pain stops when you are ready. I am finally ready to not suffer from others actions that are beyond and never were in my control.

Rant over

BunnyNest

I definitely have to go back and read those stickies often. They are real-life. They help to keep me on the right track and sane.

Good for you! Cheering you on in recovery!

LoveMeNow

Great post. Thank you for sharing!

jzeb2008

I believe that the man that I fell in love with is now a Hood Rat as well.