AnvilheadII

then it should all be just fine then.

BB89

Mareahh, I am not completely familiar with your story and I do not mean to offend you... but I'm confused. If the addict in your life does not display any of the unsavory behaviors commonly associated with addiction, then what brings you here? What is it you are looking for?

For me, the A in my life has not put me through 1/4 of the hell that many here have gone through, but that does not make him any less of an addict.

As far as providing money and enabling, intelligence has nothing to do with it. I am guilty on both charges but that does not make me stupid; it makes me co-dependent.

mareahh

It is fine. I came here solely because my bf used drugs. Claimed he was an addict and ive never been in this situation before. I've got all these people being so hard on me because I love and support my bf and I read what people say and it's horrible stuff. I apologize if your experience with an addict has been worse than what I've gone thru. But just because people share the disease doesn't mean all the endings will be the same. I appreciate what people say and give me their opinions but I don't like being told my bf is this or that when y'all don't know him from Adam. All you know is he used drugs. That doesn't make him a bad person or me stupid and codependent.

interrupted

People respond because they have been where you are, and they're sharing their experience, strength, and hope with you. I don't think anyone is attacking you or your boyfriend, and they certainly aren't trying to intentionally upset you. There's a sticky in the forum that hopefully can help explain the responses a little better:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-they-do.html

LoveMeNow

Codependency does not mean stupidity. However, obsessing over someone else's problems is. I know, I have done it until I accepted I was powerless over other people, places and things.

Good luck, hope you and your bf make it through this rough phase of his incarceration and false allegations.

cynical one

I really think you and your boyfriend will be one of the success stories. According to NIDA 40-60% of drug abusers do not relapse. We have about 100,000 members on this board and the NIDA statistics support the 40,000-60,000 members who are either addicts in recovery or loved ones of addicts in recovery on this board.

LoveMeNow

Strange, because I yet to meet one RA addict who has not relapsed. I don't think I have ever even read about one of them on SR. Maybe, I am just reading in the wrong areas and meeting all the wrong people.

cynical one

LNM- Try the substance abuse and secular connections boards. I've only read over there a couple of times on the henhouse thread, so I can't bump anything up for you. Sorry.

LoveMeNow

Thank you, Cynical One but I read over there a lot maybe I just missed them. Maybe I should start a poll???

mareahh

Seriously. Thank you.

Hammer

wow.

You wanted to know that the sound and feel of an addict?

Sort of the point of your 5 starting questions?

YOU just perfected it. Super. THAT was it.

I am not hooked.
I am making choices.
I can quit.
It does not really cost me.
I am not stupid.

Mareahh . . . girlfriend . . . You Are There.

btw, Welcome Home.

mareahh

Wait. What?

LoveMeNow

Wow Hammer, great job demonstrating how codependency and addiction are so very similar.

Midlifecrisis

Agreed!

Katiekate

No one said you or he was stupid, but he is in jail on , a drug charge, for six months, there is something there, it's not a simple drug charge, and he hasn't been able to clear himself in six months, people don't go to jail for six months , unless there is something there. You say there is nothing there, but there is something there.


Claimed he was an addict He said he was an addict.

mareahh

Um where I live until they convict you and you can't post bail they hold you. Whatever. I'm over this crap

LoveMeNow

Thank you Katie because I was confused. I do not have experience with drug possession charges, but can't a person get bailed out??

Another thing, if your bf says he is an addict, why all the questioning? I think he would know! It takes a lot for some one to finally admit that, just like codependency. Denial is a powerful drug too.

mareahh

He can get bailed out! Seriously. If you DON'T know what your talking about dont say it. You don't know his conditions. I came here for advice. Not for this.

Katiekate

The bail can't be that high for a simple charge.

My nephew was arrested for possesion, they let him go and set a court date.

It was a simple charge, no bail set. First timer.

Where I'm from, they set high bail for people who have committed serious crimes.

I'm sorry mareahh, there is something all of us are not getting.

Whatever, I'm over this crap.

Katiekate

Advice on what???