Chino

winnie, I'm glad you let go and let it out. Divine guidance is leading you to a better place.

greeteachday

Winnie, I'm keeping you and your kids in my prayers tonight. It's amazing how we are lead to that place of comfort when we feel at the end of our ropes.

Lots of hugs...You are one amazing woman.

GwenMarie30

I too offer my sincere prayers that he finds his way home to wherever that may be and pray for you to Winni.

MyJoey

Winnie,

Please check in when you have time, I am worried about you.

winnie12

I'm doing fine. Had a nice night with DD, I was able to sleep - even nightmare free from what i can remember. I'm still worried but overall at peace. I've resigned that it will be a while before he surfaces so if he does sooner it will be a pleasant surprise. This way i dont get my hopes up too much.

Eventually his diabetes will take over and i just hope his friends are smart enough to get him medical attention. He's got a few real friends who understand and if they talk to anyone that has seen him or is hiding him they'll put the word out on what to watch for. His best friend hasnt heard from him as far as i know, but that doesnt surprise me because his best friend is a real friend and will try to talk him into getting help. He just wants my son to stop getting in trouble so they can spend time together again. His PO changed the warrant to add that if he is picked up they need to seek medical attention immediately.

I'm off work after today and plan to spend a day with my parents and hang out with some friends - just keeping it slow but doing things to keep our minds off of things. My mom is so funny - she knows i dont keep alcohol in the house so she told me to just plan on a late night! me and her drinking together is like two drinks and we both need a nap so i'm not sure how late that means (probably 9 p.m. if i know us) lol. we were both laughing about what lightweights we are especially the older we get. It was just funny listening to her talking about drinking - she's 70 fyi but still about as feisty as you can get. it was really sweet that she just wanted me to come over and watch movies and drink a glass of wine. Its nice to get old enough that you can become friends with your parents - i really treasure that.

jokes aside, it really helps knowing that my family has my back. They've all reassured me that I've done all i can do and its time to let him go. He may survive and he may not but its out of my hands and in God's hands now. my sister has always been my protector - when we were kids she would beat up anyone that messed with me - I was a tiny girl, very quiet, and she just took it upon herself to protect me. She's never really gotten out of that role. She told me yesterday that she just doesnt care about my son anymore because he's unreachable right now - that she loves him but her concern is for me and my daughter.

MyJoey

Oh winnie,

Thanks for keeping us posted. I am so glad your family is right there for you. Your son knows his medical condition and I think when he starts feeling the effects he will show up. It is nice your son has one of them real friends. My son has one of them also, but he don't keep in touch with him as much anymore because of the same reasons. The rehab told me yesterday that Joey knows a kid up there from here, they were in the rehab after school program together. Not sure that is a good thing, but time will tell. Julie

Serenity Bound

Winnie, I'm glad to hear you sounding better today. And that you will be taking a few days off, doing nice things for yourself & dd, keeping your mind occupied.

The one true thing, the one constant in my life has been my faith. I'm praying (((winnie))) for you, your dd & your son.

GwenMarie30

Wow winnie. I remember when you came to SR. How much you have grown in your own recovery, faith, and just the part that is you. Wow again. I just wanted to say thanks for being here and giving such a stong recovery.

As they say in the movies: You've come a long way baby.

laurie6781

(((((Winnie)))))

I read your post shortly after you posted and had the wind literally knocked out of me. I just could not post, as it this news hit me so hard and I went into 'awfulizing mode' just as if he were my own son. I guess because I have seen to many times what can happen. I think I became overly fearful because I know what can happen not only with drug use, but I was more concerned about his diabetes. I know what can happen and quickly with unchecked diabetes.

I kept checking this thread and yesterday when I read this post:

Had the immediate thought that your HP was doing for you and felt some gratitude.

Please know that your son and you and your family have been added to the "Prayer Circles" I belong to.

I am glad your family is close and that some of your son's good friends are 'watching' for him and for signs and passing the word.

I am sorry this has happened to you.

Love and hugs,

Impurrfect

(((Winnie)))

I'm glad you're spending time with your family, and hope you and your mom have a good time. It IS really neat to have that kind of relationship with your parent..when you can just "hang out" and have fun.

I'm also grateful HP sent you some extra messages/messengers yesterday, just when you needed it.

Keeping you all in my thoughts, and prayers, sweetie. I'm off tonight, so call me on my cell if you want to talk, okay?

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Seren

Winnie....I'm just so sorry to hear about your son. You and your DD are in my prayers. I can only just imagine how frustrated, numb, and spent you must be. Your son, too, is in my prayers, and I hope that he "figures it out" soon!

Hugs, HG

MyJoey

bumping....so I can check in on you. Hope you are holding up, I want you to know your in my thoughts and prays.

winnie12

I'm still waiting with no news. I talked to the grandmother of the other boy yesterday - i guess this is her first runaway incident so she was pretty much freaking out. She hadnt slept for days and was ready to go slap some kids around to get info - she couldnt understand that they wont talk no matter what you do to them. It helped to talk to her mostly because through telling her what I know about this disease and what they are going through helped me to remind myself. She had a lot of denial - you know its the other kids not mine mentality - how her's really wasnt that bad and its not like him. Her son did call a neighbor the morning after they ran and they were apparently on the street then but i'm sure that with all my son's friends in the area he's had someone pick them up by now. Rehab's really close to our house so they could have just walked to a friends in a few hours.

I looked at some of his papers and writings that i had picked up from rehab. i really dont think this was planned - I think he got an urge and just acted on it. He even had an unmailed letter to one of his "real" friends saying how he had to stop getting in trouble so he could start living and that he was tired of living like this. Most of his writings were starting to take on a new tone so at least I know that the experience at rehab was starting to get through to him and had him thinking. In the end it was a good step in our journey and i hope all those words are still flowing through his mind.

Its getting hard - the longer we go the worse his medical condition is going to become.
I just pray he is safe and surfaces soon. Panic attacks are trying to get the best of me - i just pray through them and calm down in the end but it is getting harder. Sleep is getting harder too but I am sleeping. I'm going to spend the day at my parents house - just get out of here for a while and see if i can stop my heart from beating out of my chest. I have this tremble going through me right now that just keeps building. I'm trying to stay strong but its hard right now.

My daughter is ignoring it - I dont know if its healthy but if this is what she has to do to get through it then i'm letting her - just giving extra hugs and trying to stay away from her when i get too upset. We still find things to laugh about and when i cant find something I just do something silly so her spirts are pretty good considering.

I just ask everyone to please pray that he comes out safely and that he learns something.

misscrabtree

Winnie, my heart goes out to you. Is this the son with Type 1? If so I know how frightening that can be. I pray that you find him and he gets back in rehab. I know with my AS that managing the Type 1 is a huge part of the battle. Keep in touch.

JMFburns

Winnie,

You're in my thoughts.

Joan

Impurrfect

(((Winnie)))

still praying for all of you, sweetie....hugs, too.

Amy

winnie12

Yes it is and he doesnt have any insulin with him. I'm not sure how long they can go - I suspect not more than a week or two as he's on really high insulin dosage now - higher then he's ever been at - i'm sure that's because he doesnt take care of himself but he's taking 40 units of lantus and has a carb ratio of 1:5 for his fast acting so he's not going long without it. I'm guessing his bs are already in the critical levels. even with the lantus he'll hit the 500s -if he doesnt take his humalog when eating.

I just dont know right now where the phone call will come when he is found - I pray its jail or the hospital and not worse. He does have a warrant out for him and it has a medical alert on it stating he needs medical attention immediately if found. I just pray I dont see a police car in my driveway because that's when its bad news.

MyJoey

Winnie,

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully the things he has learned in rehab will bother him enough to turn himself in. I am sure it will not be before the weekend is up, most kids his age live for the weekend parties. We are all thinking about you and praying for his safe return, and for your HP to give you strength to get through this. One other thing you can try is signing on under his screen name on the computer, the kids will think it is him and you may find some information out. (((hugs)))

Serenity Bound

(((Winnie))) I'm thinking that since this did not seem planned, and that your AS was writing to friend about how he wanted a new life, then perhaps this is just a *bump* in road to his recovery. This *bump* may just be the turn he needs to reach his bottom and return to recovery. (especially since spring break will be over & he'll no longer have his friends to hang with each day)

:praying
Chris

MyJoey

Winnie,
After reading your last post, I think I would get a hold of your local TV station and see if they will air your sons picture. Some of these kids he is with may have no idea he needs help.