AS Ran Again
i have a weird calm.
Is it possible that you just get to the point that you dont feel anything anymore?
God, shine your light down on this boy. As his Father, watch over him and lead him to do the right thing and turn himself in. Amen.
:praying
When one in the family is sick then it
affects the entire family. Thats why
there r other programs designed for
them to learn to take care of themselves
and not to blame them for what has
happened to a family member.
I was the sick member who affected
others by my behavior.
They did take care of themselves
as i moved on with my own program
and life.
Of course they never understood me
as a recoverying alcoholic.
Me, im fine today and in a good
place in my life following the
principles of a 12 step program
set down for me to live and follow
one day at a time.
affects the entire family. Thats why
there r other programs designed for
them to learn to take care of themselves
and not to blame them for what has
happened to a family member.
I was the sick member who affected
others by my behavior.
They did take care of themselves
as i moved on with my own program
and life.
Of course they never understood me
as a recoverying alcoholic.
Me, im fine today and in a good
place in my life following the
principles of a 12 step program
set down for me to live and follow
one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Winnie, I'll continue to pray that HP watches over your son and that he will pick up his insulin supplies from his friend. Also, praying for both you & your dd, for peace and serenity.
Hugs,
Chris
Hugs,
Chris
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 89
I understand numb. Last year my daughter would run at the slightest thing. Usually, the issues weren't worthy of the reaction. Most times, I wasn't even angry just asking her where she went or who she was with. She would bolt and I wouldn't see her for days. The last time, I was numb. I was tired of the worry, the sleepless nights, and I didn't care anymore. I even wondered if it would be easier if she was dead. Then it would be final and I could deal with it and move forward. It seemed easier. She called or my husband called her, I spoke with her and it was obvious to her that I was 'done'. She was sobbing and asked how I would feel if I no longer knew where she was, I responded that I owuld be sad but had a life and would move on. I told her that there was more to my life than her. She asked how I would feel if I never saw her again. She received the same reply. Then she asked how I would feel if she committed suicide. I told her "good luck with that" and hung up. She came home hours later and never ran again. She had perviously threated suicide and it always got a huge response from me.
The point is. I was numb. She was on her own and I felt completely at peace. Her behavior was not mine to control. Her choices were her choices. She got the message and it has been better since. She checked herself into rehab, came home, relapsed, went back to rehab, and is now in an SLE. She just started her new job, will be going to college in the Fall, and I am very proud of her. She still has things she needs to work on but they are her things, not mine. I hope her behavior continues but if it doesn't, these are her choices.
The point is. I was numb. She was on her own and I felt completely at peace. Her behavior was not mine to control. Her choices were her choices. She got the message and it has been better since. She checked herself into rehab, came home, relapsed, went back to rehab, and is now in an SLE. She just started her new job, will be going to college in the Fall, and I am very proud of her. She still has things she needs to work on but they are her things, not mine. I hope her behavior continues but if it doesn't, these are her choices.
(((Winnie)))
I'm really proud of you and dd!! Numb or not, you're taking care of you. Personally, I think it's a sign of progress when you get to this point...when you can say "I've had enough".
Sending lots and lots of prayers for the 3 of you. My "other mother" always tells me "God has you in the palm of His hand", so I'm thinking the same of you and your kids.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm really proud of you and dd!! Numb or not, you're taking care of you. Personally, I think it's a sign of progress when you get to this point...when you can say "I've had enough".
Sending lots and lots of prayers for the 3 of you. My "other mother" always tells me "God has you in the palm of His hand", so I'm thinking the same of you and your kids.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
well as someone said would happen, it did all hit me. always happens when i'm in the car - you all know that crazy person you see freaking out in their car all by themselves and you try to drive fast to get away from them - well that's me.
I got to rehab and his counselor was walking out the door - she just held me for about five minutes and i bawled my eyes out. she's a big woman and it just felt like a mom surrounding me. I found out the other kid he is with called his parents early this morning and said they were cold and hungry. (good lesson there). The parents told him they were on their own and they werent helping. Apparently they didnt realize we were hitting a cold snap and they were dressed for spring time.
so i left and the radio station in my car was all scratchy so i hit the button to tune it in and it switched to another station where a preacher was on talking about codependancy and relying on God. Then out of the blue i just pulled into a church. i never been there before but i just needed to walk in a church and pray. Their pastor was a really cool lady who had a lot of experience with addiction and gave me some extremely insightful things to think about that i'll post later - i want to share it but after i have some time to digest and really think about it. Got back in the car and now a new preacher was on talking about how we cant change other peoples hearts to be what we want and we need to step out of the way and let God do his job.
It was just a powerful afternoon for me.
I got to rehab and his counselor was walking out the door - she just held me for about five minutes and i bawled my eyes out. she's a big woman and it just felt like a mom surrounding me. I found out the other kid he is with called his parents early this morning and said they were cold and hungry. (good lesson there). The parents told him they were on their own and they werent helping. Apparently they didnt realize we were hitting a cold snap and they were dressed for spring time.
so i left and the radio station in my car was all scratchy so i hit the button to tune it in and it switched to another station where a preacher was on talking about codependancy and relying on God. Then out of the blue i just pulled into a church. i never been there before but i just needed to walk in a church and pray. Their pastor was a really cool lady who had a lot of experience with addiction and gave me some extremely insightful things to think about that i'll post later - i want to share it but after i have some time to digest and really think about it. Got back in the car and now a new preacher was on talking about how we cant change other peoples hearts to be what we want and we need to step out of the way and let God do his job.
It was just a powerful afternoon for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Antioch, Ca.
Posts: 158
Winnie,
You have been such an inspiration to so many here. My heart hurts for you right now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter.
Mine is still gone also, but i do know where to find him, which is a releif.
Take care of yourself. I know it is not easy.
susan
You have been such an inspiration to so many here. My heart hurts for you right now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter.
Mine is still gone also, but i do know where to find him, which is a releif.
Take care of yourself. I know it is not easy.
susan
These boys just drive us crazy. They just don't get it. It's like enough is enough. From one mother to another, I am so sorry for I know what your going through. My son, took off from several rehabs. The not knowing was a horror for me. However, he resurfaced, in need of help as usual. The problem is that your son is just so young. Not even 18 yet. I don't know what to tell you except, your the adult, he is the child. You might need to have him commited. He is a danger to himself. Sorry for your heartache. I know what your feeling. Hang in there. I'm looking forward to your next post, and waiting to hear what the preacher has to say. It's a good idea to step out of the way, and let God do what he has to do, but in your case, your son is a minor, and you are still responsible for him. I wish I had advice for you, but I don't. I'm sorry Winnie, your a great mom, and your son is obviously going to learn the hard way. That's never good.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
Winnie,
I'm so glad that you found a comforting place to go to. I have also found that my HP answers my prayers. It's amazing how we can find comfort when we need it most.
I'm sending prayers to you, your daughter, and your son.
:praying
I'm so glad that you found a comforting place to go to. I have also found that my HP answers my prayers. It's amazing how we can find comfort when we need it most.
I'm sending prayers to you, your daughter, and your son.
:praying
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 355
Winnie-
Just wanted you to know that I too am sending hugs for you and your daughter and your son. I just find it so inspiring and hopeful that God gives us what we need when we need it the most.
Hang in there! You really are one tough lady
Gotahavfaith
:praying
Just wanted you to know that I too am sending hugs for you and your daughter and your son. I just find it so inspiring and hopeful that God gives us what we need when we need it the most.
Hang in there! You really are one tough lady
Gotahavfaith
:praying
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)