Recieved A Letter
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i know the feeling. i was the same way. i am so sorry this is happening to you. don't get sucked in.since MY recovery my son does not write or talk the "blame" to me. sometimes he would write about what I didn't do or should have done,very angry letter. some times when the phone rang he would be crying. all of this broke my heart. today he has more respect for me, i have more for myself. don't read the letter if you do not want to. you do not have to do it today. your ex??? you can do what you want to. let go or be drug. prayers for you & him too.
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
I opened the letter. All it was is alot of anger directed at me and his brother. Oh he did tell me he loves me after calling me brain dead among other things. He also asked me to send him $50 for his B Day for sneakers.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
Sorry, no wise words of wisdom, just my reaction to your post of the letter.
1/2 my brain says "Wow, what a little shi*!"
The other 1/2 answers that with "Could I really cut the cord? Am I strong enough to turn my back on my AS and let him truely fend for himself?"
rozied, I've seen so much strength in your posts lately - keep up the good work!
1/2 my brain says "Wow, what a little shi*!"
The other 1/2 answers that with "Could I really cut the cord? Am I strong enough to turn my back on my AS and let him truely fend for himself?"
rozied, I've seen so much strength in your posts lately - keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Rozied))))
I'm sorrry he's still being a jerk. I wouldn't send him one penny. My best friend was in prison, and was charged $25 for the boots she had to wear when they had morning marches. She wanted me to send the money for that, and the medicine they gave her and charged her for. I didn't have it and I didn't send it. She was still released, on time, and owes dept. of corrections, and we're still best friends.
I, too, see a LOT of progress in your posts, but I know this hurts.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorrry he's still being a jerk. I wouldn't send him one penny. My best friend was in prison, and was charged $25 for the boots she had to wear when they had morning marches. She wanted me to send the money for that, and the medicine they gave her and charged her for. I didn't have it and I didn't send it. She was still released, on time, and owes dept. of corrections, and we're still best friends.
I, too, see a LOT of progress in your posts, but I know this hurts.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
So sorry rozied - I agree with Amy - do nothing. He's not getting it yet. You're on your way to recovery - stick with that, fight for that and know that he will eventually find his way. Mom 2 mom hugs to you and I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with girl. 
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Rozied
Since you're brain dead, you cannot be expected to be able to read that letter! Tell him to find another aveune to send sneakers!
I mean, What letter? Never received a letter! Did Mr. Rozied see a letter? How about the cat, maybe the dog, nope no one saw a letter!
Maybe if you ignore his polite request for the 50.00, he'll catch on that he was rude and disrespectful and doesn't deserve a reply!
Told you I'm getting really hateful in my old age.
Hugs, Devastated
I mean, What letter? Never received a letter! Did Mr. Rozied see a letter? How about the cat, maybe the dog, nope no one saw a letter!
Maybe if you ignore his polite request for the 50.00, he'll catch on that he was rude and disrespectful and doesn't deserve a reply!
Told you I'm getting really hateful in my old age.
Hugs, Devastated
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
rozied~~I agree with everyone. Don't send him any money. He should see what its like to totally depend on himself. I know its a bad thing but I've told my son if he gets arrested to not even let us know...I'm getting so burned out with all this. I'll be around and wouls support recovery but not the addiction any longer. So hang in there, take care of yourself and the Mr. and try to enjoy life... listen to me!!!! I should listen to myself.. Smiles, Bonnie
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Thanks Again!!!
You know Bonnie I ALWAYS told my boys growing up if they ever got arrested don't call me for bail cuz I won't do it!!! I saw what happened to my ex husband cuz of his mother bailing him out all the time. I knew better.
I am really hurt cuz he was so ugly to me. BUT I still feel like I should at least buy him sneakers for his Birthday. After all he is in jail & he is my son.
I don't know what I am going to do at this point so I'll do nothing. I started writing a hard nosed letter back to him but ripped it up after I wrote a page. I know enough not to write when I'm angry. After he blasted me he writes:
" I'm sorry Mom you know I love you I just got angry cuz this time it is not my fault. I was clean. I wasn't using or stealing. I just got fired from my job & I already did a yr for $24 worth of steaks. I don't want to do another 17 months for getting fired. Getting fired from your job is not a crime."
So the saga continues!!!
You know Bonnie I ALWAYS told my boys growing up if they ever got arrested don't call me for bail cuz I won't do it!!! I saw what happened to my ex husband cuz of his mother bailing him out all the time. I knew better.
I am really hurt cuz he was so ugly to me. BUT I still feel like I should at least buy him sneakers for his Birthday. After all he is in jail & he is my son.
I don't know what I am going to do at this point so I'll do nothing. I started writing a hard nosed letter back to him but ripped it up after I wrote a page. I know enough not to write when I'm angry. After he blasted me he writes:
" I'm sorry Mom you know I love you I just got angry cuz this time it is not my fault. I was clean. I wasn't using or stealing. I just got fired from my job & I already did a yr for $24 worth of steaks. I don't want to do another 17 months for getting fired. Getting fired from your job is not a crime."
So the saga continues!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Rozied)))
Unfortunately, he's still downplaying what he's in prison for. He's forgetting this isn't his first offense. He's forgetting that he KNEW he needed to keep a job to meet the requirements of his work-release, but he didn't even last a week.
Do whatever you feel is right for you. But personally, I think $50 is pretty darn expensive for a pair of shoes to wear in prison...you can get some at Wal-Mart for $10. I still have MY $10 pair that my dad bought me when I was in the diversion center 3 years ago. I'm trying hard to pay back my debts, and I make do with my black tennis shoes I buy for work.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Unfortunately, he's still downplaying what he's in prison for. He's forgetting this isn't his first offense. He's forgetting that he KNEW he needed to keep a job to meet the requirements of his work-release, but he didn't even last a week.
Do whatever you feel is right for you. But personally, I think $50 is pretty darn expensive for a pair of shoes to wear in prison...you can get some at Wal-Mart for $10. I still have MY $10 pair that my dad bought me when I was in the diversion center 3 years ago. I'm trying hard to pay back my debts, and I make do with my black tennis shoes I buy for work.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 427
((((Rozied))))
As usual what Impurrfect said above "Ditto", especially the tennis shoes.
I would't bother to write him back because you know what...he is just going to keep busting your chops one way or another and you don't need it. Write em and rip em up that is the best therapy! Your too angry right now anyway. Go get him the shoes if you feel you must because it is his Birthday but not $50.00.
veryday in everyway your getting better and better or stronger and stronger! Keep it up!
As usual what Impurrfect said above "Ditto", especially the tennis shoes.
I would't bother to write him back because you know what...he is just going to keep busting your chops one way or another and you don't need it. Write em and rip em up that is the best therapy! Your too angry right now anyway. Go get him the shoes if you feel you must because it is his Birthday but not $50.00.
veryday in everyway your getting better and better or stronger and stronger! Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 472
JMO he is not barefoot is he? My AH wanted $35 for tennis shoes and I told him to think about it. I broke down and sent $50 for his birthday and he got other things he needed worse. He is in his 6th month of prison rehab and sounds like a new person.
I guess I will not make some happy but if it was me I would send him the money if you could afford it. Hopefully he will spend it wisely.
Shame we can no longer send shoes into a prison!
Take care and do what you think is best.
I guess I will not make some happy but if it was me I would send him the money if you could afford it. Hopefully he will spend it wisely.
Shame we can no longer send shoes into a prison!
Take care and do what you think is best.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((momsrainbow)) ((rozied)) - it's not about making someone else happy with our decisions, it's about feeling comfortable in our own skin with our decisions.
I'm going to support you moms, no matter what you decide, because the bottom line is, you love your kids, despite their actions, and dealing with us A's is hard.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm going to support you moms, no matter what you decide, because the bottom line is, you love your kids, despite their actions, and dealing with us A's is hard.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
In reply to Momsrainbow, here in California, (don't know where you're from) you can send shoes to prisons; however, you have to buy them from the stores that send packages such as Accessecurepak. They do a good job.
I use to send packages that way to my son; however, this last 3 years he has had to use his own money, which he earns there. No much, but may teach him the value.
Hugs, Devastated
I use to send packages that way to my son; however, this last 3 years he has had to use his own money, which he earns there. No much, but may teach him the value.
Hugs, Devastated
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Rozied, you know how many times I've heard that line, "this time it was not my fault!" Funny, things like that don't happen to us, why?
Sorry to say, there really aren't too many innocent people in prison.
One day on a visit I asked my son what one of the guys there was in for. He replied, "funny thing you should ask, he was just telling us all he was innocent, and they've made a mistake!" Yep, not many guilty in prison 'cause they're all out here! You know, you and me???
They do need tennis shoes I guess.
Sorry to say, there really aren't too many innocent people in prison.
One day on a visit I asked my son what one of the guys there was in for. He replied, "funny thing you should ask, he was just telling us all he was innocent, and they've made a mistake!" Yep, not many guilty in prison 'cause they're all out here! You know, you and me???
They do need tennis shoes I guess.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
Rozied sorry you had to receive such an angry letter. Now wonder you didnt want to open it. My AS is quick to direct his anger at me and place blame, but when he wants something I am the first one he will call. AS consistently calls me a mental case ( whatever) that would be because I have set boundaries. The more boundaries the angrier he becomes. They are master manipulators that break our hearts.
rozied
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Thanks Again All!!!
I will call the prison & ask what they charge for sneakers. In our area you cannot send anything into the prison only money. They have to buy it all in their commissary.
I am too angry & upset right now to make any decisions. He aggravates the heck out of me with the stuff he writes in his letters.
I had a book sent to him directly from Amazon. It was a book someone at SR recommended. It was " The Bondage Breaker " This is the 2nd book I have sent him the other was the big NA book.
I will call the prison & ask what they charge for sneakers. In our area you cannot send anything into the prison only money. They have to buy it all in their commissary.
I am too angry & upset right now to make any decisions. He aggravates the heck out of me with the stuff he writes in his letters.
I had a book sent to him directly from Amazon. It was a book someone at SR recommended. It was " The Bondage Breaker " This is the 2nd book I have sent him the other was the big NA book.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Rozied,
I would write the letter to your son, spill out your feelings. After you write it rip it up, this way you say what you want, let out your anger, and throw it away.
As far as the money for the sneakers, do what you feel is best for you. If you don't want to send the money don't, let him work for them in prison, maybe he will learn what things cost.
Sending you hugs and prayers
I would write the letter to your son, spill out your feelings. After you write it rip it up, this way you say what you want, let out your anger, and throw it away.
As far as the money for the sneakers, do what you feel is best for you. If you don't want to send the money don't, let him work for them in prison, maybe he will learn what things cost.
Sending you hugs and prayers
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