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So what's next? Another update

Old 09-22-2007, 11:19 PM
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So what's next? Another update

Ok AS I said in my other up date.. my AD had her baby on the 20th the baby is cute an seems healthy as you can see. Child services decided on Fri to take her an my Grandson, as AD tested positive for drugs. We are waiting to go to court hopefully Mon. to find out if they will let us keep the kids, since AD will know longer be living here. As of right now she is under a no contact can see her son, can see baby until it's released from the hospital. After court they will set up supervised visitation for her. So here we are all praying that things go good at court. An Grandson can stay here were he has always lived, plus we get baby Grace.
We had 8yrs birthday party today, an just as things had calmed down.....We get the call " Mom come get me I'm at the justice center we were arrested". Seems they were stopped for not using a turn signal an since ABF had a warrant out on him still,( why I don't know)so the cops searched the car an found You guessed it....a needle in the back seat. Oh an my car has been impounded . This is not good not when you already have CS on you. So now she is suppose to go to court Mon. for this, plus maybe to court for the kids hearing , the court are in 2 different states. An lets not forget she is on probation in both states already.
Can using drugs really be worth all this crap? All the pain an suffering she has caused herself, her kids, an her family.
She now says she will sign over guardianship to us or her sister for both kids, said we should go ahead an call a lawyer an get it started ABF will sign too. The thing is I don't know if it's to later for that or not now that CS as stepped in. She was crying earlier in the day because she had to leave her baby, an I really believe she was upset. She swears the needle they found was an old one that Abf missed when he cleaned the car out.
Since she's not aloud to come here an she couldn't reach any of her friends because it was so late.we dropped her off at the hospital she is going to hang out in the waiting rooms. I'm praying she don't get into any trouble during the night, my husband is going back up in the morning to see the baby an pick her up.
I've gotten so I'm afraid to answer my phone for fear of more bad news. Please God let this get better.
Honestly I don't think I can take much more of this
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Old 09-22-2007, 11:45 PM
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Hugs to you and prayers are going your way. Addiction sucks, no two ways about it! I put my family through living hell. Thank God, I didn't die before I could get clean AGAIN! Now I've got over 10 yrs clean and sober. Lots of prayers were sent up for me to get it together, and it was NOTHING short of a miracle that I survived it all, that I didn't end up in prison or dead!!!!!
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Old 09-22-2007, 11:55 PM
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Thank you..Also wanted to say that things you've posted in the past have given me hope for my AD..Although right at the moment things don't look good.
My thanks goes out to all that have beat their addiction an come here to help others try an understand it an give them hope.

Connie
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:01 AM
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She doesn't know how "not" to use, she can't not use, it's out of her control....she is powerless. The drugs/drinks are very powerful. Once they have a hold on you, it is hard to imagine the pull.....

I would be so sick and tired of it all, the whole deal....yet, I didn't know what to do. I only knew I would be sick if I didn't use and I couldn't go through that.

For me.....I had to go to a "controlled" environment. I had to be medically detoxed and in a treatment center. Even though the doors were not locked there....I felt safe, I felt people there cared what I was going through and that some or most of them had been through it themselves. Unlike Jail....doors locked, no one gave a S*IT, not medical help etc. But.....that cold turkey crap....had an impact on me too. All I can say is.....it takes what it takes. Yes it seems unfair, it seems unimaginable that someone could "not care" about her children. Yet....the drugs are more powerful than anything else. She doesn't love herself right now...thus continuing to use. All you can do is love her and pray for her. I will continue to keep ya'll in my prayers too.......

Hang in there Lost.....God's got ya'll in the palm of his hands! HUGS
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:08 AM
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Hi Lost...

My grandaughter was taken by CPS when
my son and her mother were arrested.
I had to do a Livescan which is fingerprinting
and a background check. They also came
out to do a home assessment to make sure
the house was up to code. So in all it took
30 days to get her out of foster care. I am
in California and it probably varies state to
state. They may just hand the kids over to you. In my case my son was arrested for murder so they were leary of me.
The Mom has been in and out of rehabs
for the last year trying to get her back but keeps failing. She has a deadline Dec.20th to get her back and then that's it. She either gets her back or I will adopt her. They have been
more than lenient with her.
The courts and CPS are going to give your
daughter every chance in the world to get those kids back. The ball is in her court now. They will also put her in rehab and they have rehabs where she can have the baby stay with her. It sounds like jail would be a good place for her right now (if that's the case) and they
will work with her as soon as she gets out.
The only thing you need to be worrying about
right now are the kids. Your daughter made
her bed and now she needs to lie in it.
I know how hard this is.
Unfortunately I have another little granddaughter born meth addicted. Thank God her other grandmother stepped in and has custody now. This is a huge escalating problem.

I'm praying for you.
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Old 09-23-2007, 05:36 AM
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Josie..Thanks for the info they have already had a lady walk through the house on Fri. evening, she said it was fine. She wasn't the one that has my AD case, but said she was helping the other one. She did mention us being finger printed, an drug tested she didn't say when. The way I understand it they were going to take my Grandson that night , had already found a place for him. But at the last minute decided he could stay here until the court hearing.
They said AD would be given some kind of plan to follow but did say what it would be.
While I agree AD needs help an shouldn't have custody of her kids, CS scares the hell out of me.
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Old 09-23-2007, 05:50 AM
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I took my grandson and called DCF. They came out to the house and inspected it, left him here til a hearing on monday and granted me guardianship. He was never taken anywhere. I am so very sorry for your pain. DCF even gave me a reduced day care so that I could work. They were very nice. I didn't go for custody as I really did not want to take her rights away and she is doing well[today]..bless you..marian
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Old 09-23-2007, 05:55 AM
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I'm sorry the drama continues, most of all for the child who is blessed to have you in his life.

I hope all goes well for you, that you get legal custody, and that your daughter finds a better path.

Hugs
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Old 09-23-2007, 05:59 AM
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I can appreciate how hard and overwhelming this is lost.
AD is facing the consequences of her actions. How she deals with these consequences is up to her alone. CS's intervention may just be ADs turning point. Above all the kids need protection and once CS intervenes, there is no turning back. It is what it is. Take care of you during this traumatic time.
I'm keeping you all in my prayers.
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Old 09-23-2007, 06:44 AM
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AD is facing the consequences of her actions. How she deals with these consequences is up to her alone.
While I agree with this I don't want her kids to suffer for it. An the 5 yr old would be really shaken up if he is taken out of his home.
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Old 09-23-2007, 06:46 AM
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Lost-
though I know every state is different, I know her in GA CS would MUCh rather have children be with family, rather than foster care. When I worked in the neonatal ICU, when we had babies born to mom's who tested positive for drugs, the babies always went home to family members who passed drug and background checks.

We are dealing with CS now with my neice because her drug-addict dad made false allegations about us. The case worker we have had has been REALLY nice, is counseling my neice (something I've been suggesting for years) and has been very supportive. I had heard many horror stories of CS but I've been pleasantly surprised. We only have "guardianship" of my neice because we never really needed to adopt her (we have her for all rights and purposes) and we wanted her to be able to keep her mom's last name (her mom died in a car wreck when my neice was 13 months old)

I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers. As a recovering addict, I agree with Connie. The drugs totally take over your life and until the addict gets sick and tired of being sick and tired they will never try recovery. I hope your daughter gets to that point soon.

Amy
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Old 09-23-2007, 08:09 AM
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Not sure if all states are the same or not, the lady that came here said if they place them with us, we would have to have all travel plans approved through CS, plus anytime they were sick it had to be reported. Kind of made it sound almost like we'd be babysitters. That's why thought her signing guardianship would be better, an let these kids have normal lives. The 5yr old has lived here with his 4 cousins all his life, they are one big family, we do things as a family that all they know, they wouldn't understand any of this.
Also I was told if she fails 3 drug test in the next 18 months it will make he lost all parental rights.
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Old 09-23-2007, 08:14 AM
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((( lost ))) I sincerely hope and pray the 5 year old is not taken out of his home.
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:50 PM
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i hope you get custody of those babys. you are God sent to want to do this. my prayers are that your daughter will see the light & things will go as they should. hugs,
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Old 09-23-2007, 03:30 PM
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If I had any money to bet, I put in on you! They want kids to stay w/ parents first, family members second. The foster system is so over populated now why take kids away from someone who loves and cares for them? I know it is scarey, but my money's on you!
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Old 09-23-2007, 07:39 PM
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Thanks Caileesnana for betting on me I wish I were so sure. Thanks to all who have responded an for the prayers..my son ask me to day if I was sure I wanted to take on caring for the baby..said him an his wife would take her in so said they would try too get both kids if we don't ,so it's nice to know if we are rejected him an his wife are there ready an willing.

Thanks for prayers an please just for tonight could you say one more for Crystal,Avigail Grace. an Damian.. Thank you I'm so glad your all out there some where..it really does help.
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Old 09-23-2007, 07:39 PM
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Lost,
I don't have any advice on any of this. Please know that I am keeping you in thought and prayer that the babies get to stay with you where they can have a safe and loving enviorment. I know baby Gracie will be a wonderful addition to your family.

Blessings on you and those babies...........Lo
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Old 09-23-2007, 10:00 PM
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I'm praying for your grandchildren Lost.

God bless your son and his wife!

I wanted to tell you I wasn't too crazy about CPS coming around either and dealing with their rules but it's O.K. It's true about the
Dr. visits and vacations and you have to take the kids for their supervised visits. They also come out for a monthly visit to see how the kids are doing. Just remember it isn't forever.

Hugs,
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Old 09-24-2007, 03:50 AM
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I'm so sorry you're having such chaos , I hope your daughter sees the light soon.
prayers for you and your family
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Old 09-24-2007, 02:29 PM
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They didn't have court today they don't know when it will be now either tues. or wed. Baby is still in the hospital don't know why they will call when she can be picked up. Also CS know AD an ABF were arrested so now he to is under a know contact. Have to get off here in case they call.
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