Hugs to you and prayers are going your way. Addiction sucks, no two ways about it! I put my family through living hell. Thank God, I didn't die before I could get clean AGAIN! Now I've got over 10 yrs clean and sober. Lots of prayers were sent up for me to get it together, and it was NOTHING short of a miracle that I survived it all, that I didn't end up in prison or dead!!!!!