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So what's next? Another update

Old 09-27-2007, 07:32 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Why in the world would you post her bail. This is her mess - let her deal with it. She didn't think enough of her own kids to get help. I see my ex wife pull this crap all the time, except now our 7 year old knows that it is she who needs to do the right thing. When she doesn't, she has to contend with his disappointment. I just make sure the rest of his life is good. I can't make his mother good.

LH
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Old 09-27-2007, 08:08 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Your post really touches me....

this is the tragedy of addiction....such chaos and so much pain

As I read through your post I just kept shaking my head...
if only there was a way to educate our children
if only they could understand the rippling effects of that first "high"

the motherless children, the helpless addicted newborn, the grandparents fighting to gain custody of the babies as they struggle with the loss of their own child...

please know that I will pray for you and your family
there but for the grace of God go anyone of us
I only hope I could handle it as well as you
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Old 09-27-2007, 08:56 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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I was going to post tonight about my AH who has done bad things to me again this week. However, after reading about your problems I will not. You have giant problems!!! My problems are small compared to yours.

Just keep those wonderful children protected at all means!!!! Now may be your AD's bottom and I hope so for all of you. If you can have the kids that is the most important thing in world. They need to be with you at this time.

I know you love your daughter but just think back to when you were a child- a perfect and unknowing child. No child any where in this whole world should have to deal with any type of addiction!!!! Childhood is a time of such great stuff and great fun. No adult ( addict or not) has the right to rob this from a child!!!! Please do everything in your power to protect your grandchildren.

Many hugs to you!!! I hope it all works out!!!
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Old 09-27-2007, 09:03 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Lost,
I am so sorry the saga continues. Maybe (?) this is the way for her to be pushed down to her bottom. No matter what she has done, she is your child so you hurt for her and the babies. I can't imagine...
You are all in my prayers, remember God works in mysterious ways. He is in control, and sometimes we don't understand or like it!



susan
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Old 09-27-2007, 09:30 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
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This will not be comfortable for your daughter. I am sorry she has to walk this part... but detox is never easy. At jail, they should be aware that she is detoxing (and from what) so that they can transfer her to a medical facility for observation.

But I do think you already "get it"... that is hers to deal with. Someone told me once, if my daughter can use like an adult, she has to face the consequences like an adult.


Prayers going up. (((hugs)))


Also - my sponsor told me that while in jail my son might meet someone he needed to meet, or hear something he needed to hear. Or perhaps someone needed to meet or hear HIM. Let HP work this out...
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Old 09-27-2007, 09:41 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Thanks to all that have posted I'm not as strong as you might think..I'm just hanging on . So far the 5 yr old has had a happy almost normal life, to him it's normal anyway, he has been kept away for the drugs an that side of life. Of course poor little Grace is a different story, an innocent victim. There are people that have told me my AD could die an they wouldn't go to her funeral, because of what she has done. It makes me sick when I look at Grace an know more or less she to is a addict an my AD caused it. But I also see that she herself is sick an needs help she knows that. An I was really hopeful that she would at last get treatment. Protecting the kids is my first priority.
Just looking at baby Grace, her brother, an AD makes me want to cry. This effects not just those 3 but all the other 4 kids that live here they love their Aunt an cousins. I'm praying that you guys are right an God has a hand in this. Please God at least give her a chance.
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Old 09-27-2007, 09:54 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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At jail, they should be aware that she is detoxing (and from what) so that they can transfer her to a medical facility for observation.
Bigsis...I wish that were the case but she was at this jail before an they don't do that. They just lock them up let them lay there. They offer nothing in the way of help.
I've been trying hard to let her deal with it, while I focus on the kids. But it hurts to see her getting hit with more stuff when she had just GOT IT.
Even to CS they want her out of the house she's out. The kids need help she's 21 an needs to help herself. But then I slip some.
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Old 09-27-2007, 10:09 PM
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Lost,
I just can't even imagine what you are going through. My heart is breaking for you, your daughter and the babies. I hope your daughter gets to where she needs to be to get herself well.
Keeping you all in prayer.........Lo
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Old 09-28-2007, 07:40 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Lost -
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this.

For what it's worth, I know of a few people who were actually well on their way to recovery and were slapped with charges of something that happened months b4, when they were active. A very dear friend was hauled off to jail on a charge from 3 years ago. She got out but had to pay some fines and is still paying back the bonding company.

The consequences of an addict's using will affect your AD for a long time. But I honestly believe that letting HER deal with them will only strengthen her in recovery if she wants it bad enough.

Right now I'm getting huge bills almost every day that I ignored when I was using. But I honestly don't want anyone to help me out with them. I know that as long as I keep recovering, I will pay what I can when I can, and then I won't have to deal with them anymore, AND I will be clean.

I know you are hurting and you love your AD. Jail detox sucks but I've known too many people where that only made their resolve to start recovering stronger. I truly hope your daughter is at her turning point.

I'm so glad the kids have you. Keep taking care of YOU and the kids, love your daughter, and do whatever YOU feel comfortable with in helping her.

Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family
Amy
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Old 09-28-2007, 08:07 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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lostparent,

My grandson was born addicted to Methadone, so I know how you must feel. He was hospitalized for 3 wks before he was able to come home and then he was shaky and it was hard for him.

My husband and I have custody of him and he's now a health, happy 3 year old in love with spiderman.
Your all in my prayers that everything goes well with the baby and the older children. It really isn't fair that the kids have to suffer so much.

Trish
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Old 09-28-2007, 08:26 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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While detoxing in jail can be unpleasant, jails are filled with As who come out just fine from detox in jail. They can get help with detoxing in jail. AD can start on the road to recovery while in jail. AA/NA bring meetings, the program to jails as part of the program's outreach to addicts/ alcoholics in institutions. There are members willing to sponsor and work with inmates.
Perhaps this time in jail she can make a decision to get clean and begin working a program. There are no guarantees inside or outside of jail unless she is commited
to changing one day at a time.

You are a wonderful Grandma for taking care of those beautiful innocent grandchildren.
Consider that by AD living with her own consequences for her actions in jail, they can teach her more than any bailout can.
Hugs
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Old 09-28-2007, 11:52 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Oh, Lost...

I'm so sorry about everything. You may not feel strong...but you are. You are one incredible mom and grandmother. Those grandchildren may have been dealt some tough cards in their young life but they are SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED to have a loving, stable woman like you in their life.

Like others said before me, please take care of YOU. Pamper yourself a little bit...and reach out for help as often as you need it. You're in my thoughts and prayers...and so are those precious, precious grandchildren of yours.

Loving hugs...
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