Refiner

Does she know you've been consulting with an attorney?

tomsteve

prayin for you, COD!!!

CentralOhioDad

Oh, HECK no!

LexieCat

YAY--hope she gets the job, if only because it will be one less thing to worry about. And she might be motivated to dial back the drinking a bit when she's busy trying to make a good impression at the new job. Not that it would last--but it might give you a bit more breathing (and farting) space.

And good luck with the consult. If this one doesn't blow you away, I'd go with #1--she sounded like a good fit for you.

CentralOhioDad

Yeah, this is my last consult, can't keep spending that much $$ for 'information'. Yes, the first one was good, and I have good vibes about this one too - so we'll see how it all shakes out.

Lexie - she will probably drink MORE to celebrate!! And the celebration will most likely last for months, and months, and.... The she'll have her birthday 'month' coming up that will need to be celebrated as well.

Always a 'reason'...

thephoenixrises

COD-don't forget the drinking that will ensue as she blames YOU for being awful and seeing attorney's behind her back. Btdt. Naturally it's all your fault. Strap in tight and hang on for the ride of your life....good thing is you are well on your way to freedom and peace. Her? Not so much.

Nero427

Should have retained her immediately, saved some time and money.

CentralOhioDad

Met with atty #3 yesterday. Really liked her, think she is the best. BUT, and a big BUT - she is $355/hour, and a $4500 retainer! I can't afford that. I think atty #1 can do a great job as well - and she's $225/hour, and $1800 retainer.

Also, the one yesterday said to wait until AW is back to employment to file, or her zero income will hurt me. I can wait a bit more. I feel better now moving forward.

LexieCat

I think I'd go with #1, as well, under the circumstances. It's rare that there would be a single lawyer who could do a great job for you--the trick is to weed out those who would not, or with whom you're uncomfortable.

Refiner

I hope her interview went well, she gets a job quickly, so you get to file!

Ariesagain

I say this as someone who is currently dealing with an attorney I had no part in hiring who charges $325 an hour...she is one slow, circuitous talker and
I figure every "um" costs about $5. It makes me CRAZY.

So you might want to consider verbal efficiency as well as hourly rate?

hope778

I'm sure you feel better just taking initial steps and educating yourself on real options. This is you taking control of your situation as well as yours and DS's futures.

Praying for you!

redatlanta

Lets hope in the meantime she herself doesn't get a consultation, or wizens up that being unemployed is in HER best interest in a divorce. I can assure you she will be told to stay unemployed. She can also "get fired" at anytime DURING a divorce. She can also get a job that is less pay, she can do many things. But hey, so can you.

Then there is the other side of this.....how much is peace worth? Perhaps it would be worth setting a time limit on how long you are willing to wait. She will not receive support infinitum due to currently being unemployed. Especially since she has a resume that supports she works, which is current.

Crossing fingers that employment is around the corner. Glad to hear you have settled on a choice.

LexieCat

Yeah, I wouldn't put off filing for that reason alone. The court will expect her to find a new job promptly. As red points out, she can drag this out indefinitely. If she's collecting unemployment, that will also require her to continue looking for work.

The divorce process can take months and months. I'd get the ball rolling, if I were you.

CentralOhioDad

Oh, she doesn't want to file for unemployment because she just did at the end of last year and said, "I don't want them (unemployment bureau) to look down at me because I'm filing again. Also, I feel like a loser." I said, "Everything is done online, and you are just a faceless name and SSN to them, they don't care! And, I understand your feelings, but we have bills to pay, and you need to set your ego aside for the good of the family." That last part about 'ego' didn't go over well.

So damn selfish!

Refiner

Selfish and DUMB to-boot since the company she worked for is required by law to pay into her unemployment in case they have to can her and it has nothing to do with the bureau that administrates it. Geesh. Well, one thing rings clear... she SHOULD feel like a loser!

tomsteve

COD, you are one strong man!

yeah, i remember when i would say something like
"you need to set your ego aside for the good of the family." That last part about 'ego' didn't go over well. "
same reaction. what i found was even worse?
adding,
"welll, since that bothered ya so much there must be truth to it."

yeah, i dont always know when to stop.

CentralOhioDad

Well, TomSteve, since she IS the victim, and the ENTIRE universe is plotting against her on EVERYTHING - how could one even consider it to be her ego?????

So tiring.

LexieCat

Huh, you said before that she said she WAS applying for unemployment. Guess she re-thought it, but that won't be in her favor, either, if she's claiming she can't support herself.

The harassment lawsuit, who knows. Actually, being a willing participant doesn't cut you out of the realm of having a claim. Even if she WAS, if her firing was related to that "affair" she might have a claim. I wouldn't get into that discussion with her, though. I'd be surprised if she had the follow-through to consult with a lawyer about it.

CentralOhioDad

At first, she was going to file, then this new attitude came into play. Can't trust anything that comes from her mouth. They say here in Ohio: "If you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes and it will change." Same goes for her promises, ideas, goals, what-have-you.