She Got Fired. Of Course, It's My Fault
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
She Got Fired. Of Course, It's My Fault
AW got fired last night - the emotional affair that supposedly never happened, caught up with her. The guy was being an a**, and it wasn't right to do this, but it's done.
Later in the evening, when I'm ready to go to bed, and she's consumed a bottle of wine on very little dinner - it comes out that it's now MY fault it came to this.
Let me explain her supposed logic: because I've been such a sh**ty husband throughout the entire marriage, I basically FORCED her to run into this guy's arms! She was "vulnerable", and that's why it happened. How's that for logic?
She wanted me to tell her what my issue is with her, but I told her that it was not a good time, that I would in the morning. I'm not engaging with someone under the influence. She threatened to leave if I didn't tell her - I said that she had a right to make that decision and that I wouldn't stop her if that's the path she chose. I have a letter that I composed that I will read to her - that will explain everything.
It finally de-escalated and I was able to go to bed. And, she was still there in the morning. Quack quack.
She said she's done with the marriage and will leave. More quacking - I've heard this same story the last 5 years.
I'm going to see if I can move up my next attorney consult to next week from 9/2.
This is so incredibly draining.
COD
Later in the evening, when I'm ready to go to bed, and she's consumed a bottle of wine on very little dinner - it comes out that it's now MY fault it came to this.
Let me explain her supposed logic: because I've been such a sh**ty husband throughout the entire marriage, I basically FORCED her to run into this guy's arms! She was "vulnerable", and that's why it happened. How's that for logic?
She wanted me to tell her what my issue is with her, but I told her that it was not a good time, that I would in the morning. I'm not engaging with someone under the influence. She threatened to leave if I didn't tell her - I said that she had a right to make that decision and that I wouldn't stop her if that's the path she chose. I have a letter that I composed that I will read to her - that will explain everything.
It finally de-escalated and I was able to go to bed. And, she was still there in the morning. Quack quack.
She said she's done with the marriage and will leave. More quacking - I've heard this same story the last 5 years.
I'm going to see if I can move up my next attorney consult to next week from 9/2.
This is so incredibly draining.
COD
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 216
Hugs man. Ugh. What a tough night. It seems she used this as another excuse to quack and blame and fight and of course get drunk. So sorry.
I do hope you are able to move that appointment up so you are ready for what may come next.
I know you'd hoped things would have turned the other way. Sorry this happened.
I do hope you are able to move that appointment up so you are ready for what may come next.
I know you'd hoped things would have turned the other way. Sorry this happened.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
its the hard part.... my Dear do you have children to care for.... do not leave them behind.. for we all have to have the ability to grow and become something better then what we are today.. prayers on a brighter tomorrow..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 384
I'm sorry COD! I'm glad you are able to see that it's not your fault she was fired.
I can't tell you how many times my exA, while inebriated, would ask me what my problem was. I became so frustrated because I must've told him a hundred times (while he was sober) yet when drunk his memory was very selective. "You're doing it right now" became my standard response when he was drunk and eventually I stopped being around him at all when he had been drinking. It's very draining and emotionally disregulating.
I can't tell you how many times my exA, while inebriated, would ask me what my problem was. I became so frustrated because I must've told him a hundred times (while he was sober) yet when drunk his memory was very selective. "You're doing it right now" became my standard response when he was drunk and eventually I stopped being around him at all when he had been drinking. It's very draining and emotionally disregulating.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Oh man, I'm sorry things have progressed like this, even if it was somewhat expected. It sucks that you have to be reactionary now BUT maybe it's also your HP creating the perfect set of circumstances for you to take those next uncomfortable steps that have been so difficult? She might just make it easy for you by showing you her ugly side like this.
Just remember that you don't ever deserve her verbal abuse - it sounds like she's a master of projecting all that self-hatred all over you.
Just remember that you don't ever deserve her verbal abuse - it sounds like she's a master of projecting all that self-hatred all over you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Been EXACTLY where you are.
It will only get better when you're out of it.
My ex lost 2 jobs in exactly the same manner. One before we met. Thar wasn't her fault either.
And I got a hint that she has lost another job since we split. I'm sure that wasn't her fault either.
Get out before it gets worse.
It will only get better when you're out of it.
My ex lost 2 jobs in exactly the same manner. One before we met. Thar wasn't her fault either.
And I got a hint that she has lost another job since we split. I'm sure that wasn't her fault either.
Get out before it gets worse.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
It was my fault my XAH got fired too--not his abusive behavior to an employee or his blatant affair and quick marriage to his secretary or his dip into drug use... I know how this feels and it's crazy frustrating. Hang in there.
I was fortunate that it happened right AFTER our divorce was final so there would never be alimony or maintenance of any sort. If you talk to an attorney, I'd ask some questions on timing, etc. and the best way to handle that. Nothing would be more frustrating than paying maintenance as a result of her behavior. Hugs to you.
I was fortunate that it happened right AFTER our divorce was final so there would never be alimony or maintenance of any sort. If you talk to an attorney, I'd ask some questions on timing, etc. and the best way to handle that. Nothing would be more frustrating than paying maintenance as a result of her behavior. Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Dear Dad
From the bottom of my heart, I am SO sorry about your situation. I have to confess chuckling, however, over your post. If this weren't for real, it would make a good comedy sitcom.
SO, she plays the *****, he gets tired of her and dumps her, which causes her to lose her job too, and this is YOUR fault???
Keep coming back, friend!!!
From the bottom of my heart, I am SO sorry about your situation. I have to confess chuckling, however, over your post. If this weren't for real, it would make a good comedy sitcom.
SO, she plays the *****, he gets tired of her and dumps her, which causes her to lose her job too, and this is YOUR fault???
Keep coming back, friend!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
COD,
It's all falling into place. I am divorced 1 1/2 years and my axh lost his job about 6 months ago. I got blamed because 4 years ago I told him to take the job. (The job that I never even knew he was interviewing for it)
Sending hugs my friend, she has so much anger that I feel sorry for you and your son living with her. I agree, move on with your plans as quickly as possible because it will only get worse.
It's all falling into place. I am divorced 1 1/2 years and my axh lost his job about 6 months ago. I got blamed because 4 years ago I told him to take the job. (The job that I never even knew he was interviewing for it)
Sending hugs my friend, she has so much anger that I feel sorry for you and your son living with her. I agree, move on with your plans as quickly as possible because it will only get worse.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Yeah, no logic in any of what she says, "I have been pushed into this affair because you did not hug me enough blah blah" is a classic addict line.
Sounds like she has made her bed.
Take care of yourself and your children!
Sounds like she has made her bed.
Take care of yourself and your children!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Man, it's like she launched a flare at a dry brush pile at the end of the tunnel to light it up for you.
Go towards the light COD.
I wonder if the reason she was fired is more closely related to drinking than to the inappropriate relationship. OR, did she quit or do something to be fired on account of feeling your impending divorce? It just seems like letting someone go due to an affair he participated in wouldn't be a wise move for the boss. It sounds fishy.
Hang in there....A better life awaits.
Go towards the light COD.
I wonder if the reason she was fired is more closely related to drinking than to the inappropriate relationship. OR, did she quit or do something to be fired on account of feeling your impending divorce? It just seems like letting someone go due to an affair he participated in wouldn't be a wise move for the boss. It sounds fishy.
Hang in there....A better life awaits.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 223
aw, alcoholic logic at it's best...man, I'm sorry....please see the lawyer, stat. And be ready for the fallout of all fallouts with your AW...things are really spiraling for her and YOU need to jump off this crazy train. I've been there, everything was my fault, too. Praying for you and sending good vibes and pixie dust!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
The boss' wife found out that he had feelings, deep feelings, for my AW, so she took away his b*lls and told him that my AW needed to go away. Boss's wife comes from money and is set to inherit a good chunk when her parents pass. He doesn't want to miss that, so the wife runs the show. In the end, she won.
He doesn't like his wife one bit, but he's also a greedy SOB. Quite dysfunctional
He doesn't like his wife one bit, but he's also a greedy SOB. Quite dysfunctional
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
