"Today's Hope"
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I stumbled across a reading on discipline a while ago that really spoke to me. I printed it out and framed it, put it where I can see it daily. I do my best to bear it in mind when I want to do the thing I want to do, not the thing that most lines up w/what my values and goals are. Here it is:
“Discipline" is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up-restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain-just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.”
― Henepola Gunaratana
“Discipline" is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody standing over you with a stick, telling you that you're wrong. But self-discipline is different. It's the skill of seeing through the hollow shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret. They have no power over you. It's all a show, a deception. Your urges scream and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten; but they really carry no stick at all. You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this lesson, though. The words on this page won't do it. But look within and watch the stuff coming up-restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain-just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away. As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.”
― Henepola Gunaratana
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April 4
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right.
- Marianne Williamson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Living in the Present
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its strength.
- A.J. Cronin
At times, I focus on the results of my actions and whether it will help me achieve my desired goal. When I become so goal-oriented, I stop focusing on the values and impacts of my actions on myself and those around me as I attempt to achieve that goal. I stop living in the moment and instead focus on and derive my self-worth from one potential future. I find myself obsessing until my sense of self in the present moment deteriorates in the face of that obsession. Instead, today, I will meditate on being self-aware and responsible to myself and those around me. I will give up the results of my actions to my Higher Power and focus on doing the next right thing in the moment.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right.
- Marianne Williamson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Living in the Present
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its strength.
- A.J. Cronin
At times, I focus on the results of my actions and whether it will help me achieve my desired goal. When I become so goal-oriented, I stop focusing on the values and impacts of my actions on myself and those around me as I attempt to achieve that goal. I stop living in the moment and instead focus on and derive my self-worth from one potential future. I find myself obsessing until my sense of self in the present moment deteriorates in the face of that obsession. Instead, today, I will meditate on being self-aware and responsible to myself and those around me. I will give up the results of my actions to my Higher Power and focus on doing the next right thing in the moment.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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April 5
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The foundation I have developed in Al-Anon not only makes me grateful when things are going well, but also makes me realize that the program works especially when things go badly.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Understanding
I don't always understand what people do.
I don't always understand what people need.
But, to fuss and complain when someone is already struggling with their own confusion does not help the situation.
I have learned if someone needs space: let them have it.
If someone needs to talk a problem through: listen.
If someone asks to work on certain unhealthy aspects of a relationship: be willing.
By taking the time to be understanding...
By taking the time to be kind and compassionate when someone is in pain...
By taking the time to be present when it is difficult to do so...
I am proving to them that I am able to behave as an anchor when they feel lost and long for comfort and stability.
Dear God, help me to be understanding when it feels difficult to do so. Help me to step back and not take it personally, when someone needs to work through their own issues.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
The foundation I have developed in Al-Anon not only makes me grateful when things are going well, but also makes me realize that the program works especially when things go badly.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Understanding
I don't always understand what people do.
I don't always understand what people need.
But, to fuss and complain when someone is already struggling with their own confusion does not help the situation.
I have learned if someone needs space: let them have it.
If someone needs to talk a problem through: listen.
If someone asks to work on certain unhealthy aspects of a relationship: be willing.
By taking the time to be understanding...
By taking the time to be kind and compassionate when someone is in pain...
By taking the time to be present when it is difficult to do so...
I am proving to them that I am able to behave as an anchor when they feel lost and long for comfort and stability.
Dear God, help me to be understanding when it feels difficult to do so. Help me to step back and not take it personally, when someone needs to work through their own issues.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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This fits is so nicely with this reminder that I just printed yesterday & added to my kitchen cabinet collage:
It was a summary of the points in this article:
The Single Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship.
It was a summary of the points in this article:
The Single Best Thing You Can Do for Your Relationship.
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April 6
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is the Consciousness with which we participate in activities that makes the difference.
- Michael Beckwith
DAILY REFLECTION:
Learn to surf
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
--Jon Kabat-Zinn
This reminds me that when I accept reality, I will find new choices. When I do not accept what I cannot change, I waste time and energy fighting it. When I recognize it for truth, then I am freed to accomplish something better.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It is the Consciousness with which we participate in activities that makes the difference.
- Michael Beckwith
DAILY REFLECTION:
Learn to surf
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
--Jon Kabat-Zinn
This reminds me that when I accept reality, I will find new choices. When I do not accept what I cannot change, I waste time and energy fighting it. When I recognize it for truth, then I am freed to accomplish something better.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Just a brief rant--I wanted a photo of a woman surfer, since the majority of us seem to be female. I searched "surfer" and got only men. Men on big waves, men wearing wetsuits, men in poses showing the power of the wave and their control and skill in riding it.
Well, I wanted a woman, dammit, so I had to search further. Plenty of female surfer shots, but all are cheesecake, T&A stuff! Scantily clad as opposed to the men in wetsuits, daddling about on much smaller waves, standing on the beach w/their tiny little swimsuit bottoms cutely tucked up their tiny little behinds, shots from behind/overhead of them lying down paddling--nothing like the image or feeling I wanted to convey.
Well, as you can see, I did eventually find what I was looking for. I guess it should be no shock to me or anyone else that this search revealed what it revealed, but it makes me mad that in 2016, I find this unequal type of representation--ridiculous!
Well, I wanted a woman, dammit, so I had to search further. Plenty of female surfer shots, but all are cheesecake, T&A stuff! Scantily clad as opposed to the men in wetsuits, daddling about on much smaller waves, standing on the beach w/their tiny little swimsuit bottoms cutely tucked up their tiny little behinds, shots from behind/overhead of them lying down paddling--nothing like the image or feeling I wanted to convey.
Well, as you can see, I did eventually find what I was looking for. I guess it should be no shock to me or anyone else that this search revealed what it revealed, but it makes me mad that in 2016, I find this unequal type of representation--ridiculous!
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I hear you HP & I think you'll appreciate this find from yesterday as well:
(I spent some time reading some feminist stuff yesterday; I needed something empowering after spending half of my day dissecting info on the Baker & Marchman Acts, ugh.)
(I spent some time reading some feminist stuff yesterday; I needed something empowering after spending half of my day dissecting info on the Baker & Marchman Acts, ugh.)
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April 7
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If we want to stop the vicious cycle of unhappiness, we must learn new ways of living, new ways of relating to each other.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Only Love
Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar
…
Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts
U2 — Magnificent
We come to Al-Anon when the drinking or drugging of someone we love has made our lives unmanageable. If we did not love them, it would not be so hard, it would not leave such a mark on our lives. Over time, loving an alcoholic can scar our souls, and can affect our lives and our manner of living long after that loved one is gone from our day to day life. In the program, we find a different kind of love. I found the love of my fellow Al-Anon members, who shared their innermost secrets, so that I might heal. I found the unconditional love of a Higher Power, and I know that the God of my understanding loves me just as I am, and wants only the best for me. This new love has been healing the scar in my soul, and my life is all the better for it.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If we want to stop the vicious cycle of unhappiness, we must learn new ways of living, new ways of relating to each other.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Only Love
Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar
…
Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts
U2 — Magnificent
We come to Al-Anon when the drinking or drugging of someone we love has made our lives unmanageable. If we did not love them, it would not be so hard, it would not leave such a mark on our lives. Over time, loving an alcoholic can scar our souls, and can affect our lives and our manner of living long after that loved one is gone from our day to day life. In the program, we find a different kind of love. I found the love of my fellow Al-Anon members, who shared their innermost secrets, so that I might heal. I found the unconditional love of a Higher Power, and I know that the God of my understanding loves me just as I am, and wants only the best for me. This new love has been healing the scar in my soul, and my life is all the better for it.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Location: Midwest
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April 8
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
You never know what you can do until you try do undo what you did.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Let go of resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.
"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
You never know what you can do until you try do undo what you did.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Let go of resentments
Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.
Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.
"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.
Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.
Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.
God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Posts: 11,481
You're welcome, Kboys--I kind of just stumbled across this elephant theme recently and have some elephant pics in the other daily reader thread too.
This was kind of fun to read: Animal Wisdom: The Elephant - Yoni Speaks
I think I could use more elephant in my life!
This was kind of fun to read: Animal Wisdom: The Elephant - Yoni Speaks
I think I could use more elephant in my life!
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Posts: 11,481
April 9
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If you want God to mend a broken heart, you have to give him all the pieces.
DAILY REFLECTION:
Gratitude is larger than life
One day, a friend called me on the phone. He was going through a difficult time and wondering if and when things would ever turn around and improve. I knew he was in a lot of pain, but I didn't know then that he was considering suicide.
"If you could give a person only one thing to help them," he said, "what would it be?"
I thought carefully about his question, and then I replied, "It's not one thing, it's two: gratitude and letting go." Gratitude for everything, not just the things we consider good or a blessing. And letting go of everything we can't change.
A few years have passed since that day my friend called me on the phone. His life has turned around. His financial problems have sorted themselves out. His career has shifted. The two very large problems he was facing at that time have both sorted themselves out.
Someone once asked the artist Georgia O'Keeffe why her paintings magnified the size of small objects, such as the petals on a flower, making them appear larger than life, and reduced the size of large objects, like mountains, making them smaller than life. "Everyone sees the big things," she said. "But these smaller things are so beautiful and people might not notice them if I didn't emphasize them."
That's the way it is with gratitude and letting go. It's easy to see the problems in our lives. They're like mountains. But sometimes we overlook the smaller things; we don't notice how truly beautiful they are.
God, teach me to use gratitude and letting go to reduce the size of my problems.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
If you want God to mend a broken heart, you have to give him all the pieces.
DAILY REFLECTION:
Gratitude is larger than life
One day, a friend called me on the phone. He was going through a difficult time and wondering if and when things would ever turn around and improve. I knew he was in a lot of pain, but I didn't know then that he was considering suicide.
"If you could give a person only one thing to help them," he said, "what would it be?"
I thought carefully about his question, and then I replied, "It's not one thing, it's two: gratitude and letting go." Gratitude for everything, not just the things we consider good or a blessing. And letting go of everything we can't change.
A few years have passed since that day my friend called me on the phone. His life has turned around. His financial problems have sorted themselves out. His career has shifted. The two very large problems he was facing at that time have both sorted themselves out.
Someone once asked the artist Georgia O'Keeffe why her paintings magnified the size of small objects, such as the petals on a flower, making them appear larger than life, and reduced the size of large objects, like mountains, making them smaller than life. "Everyone sees the big things," she said. "But these smaller things are so beautiful and people might not notice them if I didn't emphasize them."
That's the way it is with gratitude and letting go. It's easy to see the problems in our lives. They're like mountains. But sometimes we overlook the smaller things; we don't notice how truly beautiful they are.
God, teach me to use gratitude and letting go to reduce the size of my problems.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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April 10
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Gradually I accepted the fact that my ‘if only’ wishes were not about to come true. But I also learned that I could be happy even if they didn’t.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Closer
I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.
I am a perfectionist. I want everything I do to be done perfectly. This is not a realistic attitude, it leads to disappointment, and sometimes even prevents me from starting on something because I can’t do it perfectly.
I have learned a new way of living. The slogan “Progress, not perfection” reminds me that I will never be perfect, but that I can make progress and improve myself and my life. There are times when it seems that my life is still a wreck. If I take a moment and look back, I can see that, while it is still not everything I’d like it to be, my life is much better than it was in the past. I am not out of debt, but my debt is smaller, and I have a plan to make it smaller still. My belly is still rounder than I want it to be, but it’s smaller than it was. I still sometimes react angrily to someone’s actions, but not nearly as often as I did a few years ago.
I may not be “there” yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday. For this, I can be grateful.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
Gradually I accepted the fact that my ‘if only’ wishes were not about to come true. But I also learned that I could be happy even if they didn’t.
- Heard in a meeting
DAILY REFLECTION:
Closer
I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.
I am a perfectionist. I want everything I do to be done perfectly. This is not a realistic attitude, it leads to disappointment, and sometimes even prevents me from starting on something because I can’t do it perfectly.
I have learned a new way of living. The slogan “Progress, not perfection” reminds me that I will never be perfect, but that I can make progress and improve myself and my life. There are times when it seems that my life is still a wreck. If I take a moment and look back, I can see that, while it is still not everything I’d like it to be, my life is much better than it was in the past. I am not out of debt, but my debt is smaller, and I have a plan to make it smaller still. My belly is still rounder than I want it to be, but it’s smaller than it was. I still sometimes react angrily to someone’s actions, but not nearly as often as I did a few years ago.
I may not be “there” yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday. For this, I can be grateful.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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April 11
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It's all about humanity, humility, and integrity.
- Debra Wilson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Changing Our Problem Thinking/Behavior
FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behavior that is a problem.
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time, but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behavior no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behavior patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time, but that's OK. It's a process, and it's about progress, not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum; therefore, if you remove something, you need to put something else in its place. Where possible, fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behavior with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us. That's OK too--just try something different.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It's all about humanity, humility, and integrity.
- Debra Wilson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Changing Our Problem Thinking/Behavior
FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behavior that is a problem.
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time, but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behavior no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behavior patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time, but that's OK. It's a process, and it's about progress, not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum; therefore, if you remove something, you need to put something else in its place. Where possible, fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behavior with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us. That's OK too--just try something different.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
April 11
This is posted from the "Today's Hope" site of Alanon.
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It's all about humanity, humility, and integrity.
- Debra Wilson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Changing Our Problem Thinking/Behavior
FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behavior that is a problem.
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time, but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behavior no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behavior patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time, but that's OK. It's a process, and it's about progress, not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum; therefore, if you remove something, you need to put something else in its place. Where possible, fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behavior with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us. That's OK too--just try something different.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
DAILY SLOGAN/SAYING:
It's all about humanity, humility, and integrity.
- Debra Wilson
DAILY REFLECTION:
Changing Our Problem Thinking/Behavior
FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behavior that is a problem.
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time, but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behavior no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behavior patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time, but that's OK. It's a process, and it's about progress, not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum; therefore, if you remove something, you need to put something else in its place. Where possible, fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behavior with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us. That's OK too--just try something different.
Daily share from the forum can be found here: Today's Sharing - Today's Hope
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